***

“What Leti loves is ‘us.’ Not you, Chamuka. Just because he smiles when he sees you, just because he falls asleep leaning on your shoulder, it doesn’t mean you’re special.”

Chamuka sat quietly, pondering Astrid’s advice.

He couldn’t remember how he got back to his room, but the sunset was already visible outside the window.

It had been a while since he had seen his face for half a day. Lately, they had been together almost all the time.

The reason they were together was because as Leti grew up, he attracted more and more attention…

And he needed to protect her.

“He’s more likely to like women. Do you understand? Your handsome face might actually hold no attraction for Leti.”

But it seemed like people of all ages and genders found Leti’s appearance attractive.

Of course, those who approached Leti enchanted by his appearance were often young girls.

Chamuka was once again seized by anxiety that Leti might become someone’s first love somewhere.

But Astrid, with decades of experience, had already predicted everything.

“When you suddenly want to see Leti—well, yes. To put it in Basilinte terms, when you feel anxious thinking ‘What if some crazy person appears out of nowhere when I’m not around and puts Leti in danger?’—repeat what I’m about to say to yourself.”

“….”

“I am the craziest person in his life. I am also the most dangerous one.”

Chamuka muttered to himself the words Astrid had taught him.

Then, as Astrid had ordered, he continued to ponder.

What did he want with Leti?

Did he really like him? But what exactly does liking someone mean? What did he want to do with him?

…Come to think of it, what might he be doing now?

“If you still feel like you need to go see him, then it’s time to seek help from others. Go consult with someone who knows about your concerns. Me, or…”

***

“…so I came to you, Hallik.”

Hallik doubted his ears when he heard what Chamuka was saying after suddenly visiting him at this hour of the night.

“Pardon?”

“I was going to find Mother, but her bedroom door was locked. Probably with Father—”

“No, no. You don’t need to tell me that much. But why did you come here?”

“Love troubles.”

Chamuka sat down seriously across from Hallik and asked.

“What exactly is love?”

At those words, Hallik also agonized.

About why he had to sit in his bed wearing only pajamas in the middle of the night listening to a 19-year-old’s love troubles.

“Do I want to marry Leti?”

“…Men can’t marry each other.”

“Right. Because we can’t have children.”

Strictly speaking, having children wasn’t the only purpose of marriage, but Hallik didn’t have the energy to argue with Chamuka’s statement.

“When I think about Leti, I’ve never thought about marriage and children. So perhaps I don’t want to date him.”

“….”

Why are you asking me? I’m not married, not engaged, and don’t even have a lover.

“What do you think?”

“Well, I’m not sure—”

“Mother told me that you’ve been documenting that I like Leti and that it’s not brotherly affection, since a few years ago.”

While Hallik froze in place, Chamuka pulled out the handover journal he had brought from Hallik’s office.

“It seems like a good observational sample. It records in quite detail what actions of mine you felt were romantic feelings. Now explain more specifically why you felt that way.”

“….”

“Let’s start analyzing from here. This is from two years ago. ‘Perhaps the First Young Master likes men.’ The evidence for this conclusion is ‘The Prince’s shawl was found under the First Young Master’s pillow.'”

Why am I the one feeling embarrassed?

“Why is putting someone’s clothes under your pillow evidence of romantic feelings? It could have been something they accidentally dropped and left behind.”

“…Did the Prince accidentally drop his shawl under your pillow at that time?”

“No.”

Then why are you asking such a question…

“Leti left it on the chair. So I was waiting for him to come back for it, but unfortunately Father called me and I had to leave the room. I put it under the pillow briefly in case someone took it in the meantime. Since I picked it up, I should be the one to return it.”

What kind of nonsense is this pretending to be logical?

Hallik’s grandfather, who was a capable butler, told Hallik: when someone’s explanation is long, they definitely have something to hide.

“If you had just left it on the chair, the Prince would have come and taken it.”

“He would come to my room and leave without seeing me?”

“….”

“And it was evening then. I told Leti that if he waited in my room a little, we could go to the workshop together to research. Rather than being somewhere else where something bad might happen, it would be better if he waited in my room and then with me…”

Chamuka’s voice trailed off.

Hallik just laughed hollowly.

After pondering for quite a while, Chamuka opened his mouth again.

“Is it also a romantic feeling to be anxious when the other person is not around?”

“Yes. There’s a high probability of that.”

Chamuka fell into thought again.

Hallik wished that if he was going to keep thinking like this, he would go back to his own room. What kind of misfortune was this in the middle of the night?

However, unable to read Hallik’s inner thoughts, Chamuka spoke again after a while, turning the pages of the journal.

“Then next. This is last year’s record. ‘The First Young Master likes men.’ Let’s look at the evidence for this conclusion.”

Let’s burn that. Hallik decided.

Of course, regardless of Hallik’s decision, Chamuka was satisfied with Hallik’s records.

Thinking that he had made progress in analyzing his own emotions, at the end of the midnight consultation, he said:

“It was a useful time. I hope you continue to keep records steadily.”

***

[10 years later, Basilinte Main Castle Butler’s Handover Journal]

[Author: Hallik Lockshire]

Master Chamuka. If you’ve been pondering for a year, isn’t it time to reach a conclusion?

Not enough yet.

Hallik closed the journal that by now was no longer even a diary.

Over the past year, the First Young Master had done all sorts of things to figure out if he really liked the Prince.

Of course, without ever showing it to the Prince.

He called a physician to compare heart rate measurements, consulted with some quack fortune-teller who claimed to be good at love divination, and stared into crystal balls.

He suddenly collected portraits of handsome men and beautiful women from across the continent, and on another day, he analyzed all kinds of novels, plays, and songs about love.

Hallik thought he was really something else.

From the moment all this chaos was about ‘fearing he might hurt the other person by drawing the wrong conclusion,’ Hallik felt the First Young Master’s concerns were already meaningless.

“Hmm.”

Hallik looked out the window.

The Second Young Master was frolicking in the garden like a dog. The way he jumped toward the flying disc truly made him look like a dog walking on two legs.

The Prince, unable to keep up with the Second Young Master’s energy, was already half-collapsed and panting.

The First Young Master, half-hidden in the shade of a garden tree, was staring intently at the Prince.

“Youth.”

Hallik drew the curtains with a swish, wearing his now-habitual hollow smile.

He couldn’t stand the sight.