So I need to find my own way to survive.

And this place, the Count of Legentia house, is not my way to survive. Realizing that alone was a gain, if it could be called that.

“I’ll escort you.”

Swain took care of me as I stepped out of the mansion. I even thought that he felt more like family than my blood-related father.

“It’s okay.”

“It will be night soon. My heart would be troubled to send you alone, young miss.”

“…Alright. I understand.”

He still calls Alisa ‘young miss.’ My heart softened at those words, and I allowed the escort.

On the way back to the duke’s mansion, I thought about Alisa. And about Swain too.

Perhaps Swain loved Alisa. A solitary affection held in his heart. But to him, a commoner bodyguard, Alisa must have been like a flower on a cliff, unreachable.

What if the Emperor hadn’t chosen Alisa as Rashid’s match? What if Alisa had remained in an awkward position, struggling to find a proper marriage? What if Alisa had confessed her feelings to Swain? If that happened, what would it have been like?

…Would they have loved each other?

Reminiscing about a past that never existed is futile. It’s something no one can know now.

Instead, I decided to think about the future.

Considering Rashid’s attitude and what I heard at the temple, there’s only one way for me to get a divorce at present.

If the reason for divorce is my fault, it could damage Alisa’s reputation, but that’s now my problem to bear, so it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t seem like it would be a big issue if I’m not going to live in the noble society anyway.

With Father being like that, I’m not even sorry if people gossip about how the House Legentia raised their daughter.

I pulled back the curtain and looked out the window. It was late at night, and only the streetlights gently pierced the darkness.

At last, the carriage stopped in front of the Penvernon ducal mansion.

Swain opened the carriage door and escorted me. I held his hand and got out of the carriage.

“Thank you, Jedril.”

“Please call me Swain as before, young miss.”

“…Yes, Swain.”

I smiled softly. Swain’s eyes curved gently, as though he was smiling along with me.

That’s when it happened.

“Alisa.”

A sharp sound intruded on the quiet moment.

Of course, I know all too well whose voice this is.

As I turned around, Rashid was looking at me and Swain.

Had he just returned home? I approached him.

“Wife, where have you been?”

“I briefly visited Father. Your Grace, this is the bodyguard from House Legentia.”

“It’s an honor to meet you, Duke.”

Swain greeted Rashid. Rashid coldly ignored him without even nodding.

Swain seemed a bit embarrassed and awkward, but soon he bid me farewell.

“Then, young miss.”

“Yes, take care on your way back.”

I waved my hand slightly towards his retreating figure.

“Let’s go inside.”

Rashid grabbed my wrist, stopping my farewell. Well, this is awkward, I can’t do anything.

His stride was so long that I hurried to keep up with him. If he’s going to walk like this, I wish he’d let go of me.

Still, thanks to this chance encounter, I don’t need to find a separate timing to talk. As I busily followed behind Rashid, I caught his ankle with my words.

“Your Grace, I have something to tell you. Please spare me a moment.”

* * *

Rashid took me to his bedroom. When I said that we could talk in the reception room or tea room, he shook his head.

“You’re just going to talk about divorce again, aren’t you?”

So Rashid’s point that we should talk in a sealed space where no one can hear made sense in its own way. I obediently followed him into the room.

My husband’s bedroom. Feeling oddly awkward, I glanced around furtively.

Among the mahogany furniture and dark furnishings, red camellia decorations were placed here and there. A faint musk scent lingered in the room, making me feel intoxicated with its sensual aroma every time I breathed. It was truly befitting of Rashid, you could say.

“Alisa.”

Rashid called me by name again. I turned to look at him.

Our eyes met. For a moment, I thought he might devour me. Because those vivid golden eyes were like those of a carnivore.

“I don’t understand why you keep talking about divorce. Were you that lonely?”

Wh-what?

I stared at him quietly, bewildered by this situation.

Then Rashid naturally wrapped his arm around my waist, like flowing water. I ended up helplessly embraced in his arms. Rashid tightened his grip, pressing our bodies together.

Through the thin chemise dress, Rashid’s body heat gently transferred to me. It was unexpectedly warm.

Along with the warmth, his scent washed over me intensely. It was a heavy fragrance that made me feel dizzy.

“What are you…”

Just as I was about to say ‘doing,’

Rashid tilted his head to meet my lips. His face drew closer and closer. I saw his delicate eyelashes casting shadows on his cheeks. We were about to touch.

“No!”

I quickly raised both hands to block his lips.

Rashid looked at me with disbelieving eyes. Even without speaking, I could feel him thinking, ‘How could you do this?’

For me, I was more surprised by his utterly baffled expression at someone not falling for his charms. It was excessive confidence, even if he had reasons.

I struggled to break free from his arms. Rashid didn’t let go, instead holding me even tighter with one arm. Then he swiftly removed my hands covering my mouth.

“Divorce is not an option either.”

In an instant, his eyes turned cold. It was such a drastic change that it was hard to believe he was the same man who tried to kiss me just moments ago.

Startled, I flinched, and he released me with a smirk.

“Why not?”

“I told you. It’s not something that happens just because you want it.”

“Wh-why are you suddenly speaking informally?”

I pointed out what I wanted to address the most. Rashid laughed as if mocking me. Well, I’ve seen him laugh in front of me several times, but it has never been a pleasant laugh.

“Is it a crime for a husband to be casually affectionate with his wife?”

“You haven’t been like this until now.”

“I’m trying to get closer now.”

What is he talking about?

“After being married for a year… you mean?”

“Anytime. It seems like you want it now.”

“I don’t think I ever said anything like that…”

I rolled my eyes, wondering when I had ever said such a thing. Rashid laughed out loud again at my reaction.

He pulled out a chair from the inner table and patted it. It meant for me to sit down.

“His Majesty the Emperor proposed my marriage to you.”

Once I sat down, Rashid returned to his original way of speaking. I let out a sigh of relief. Sudden informal speech… is not right.

“I know. It was an unavoidable marriage.”

“That’s also why I don’t agree to divorce.”

Yes, of course, that’s why.

Rashid continued.

“Ducal families cannot defy the Imperial family.”

“That’s true, but wouldn’t divorce fall short of defiance?”

“It is defiance.”

Rashid shook his head as if there was nothing more to say.

“…Besides, I’m different from other dukes.”

“Ah.”

I covered my mouth, belatedly trying to suppress the sound that automatically came out.

Rashid was the second son of the previous Duke of Penvernon. Seven years ago, he became the Duke after killing his siblings and confining his mother.

The reason he could succeed to the title after murdering his relatives was because the Emperor and the temple acknowledged him. Because they didn’t question Rashid’s crimes and allowed his succession, Rashid was able to return to noble society.

Would the Emperor tolerate it if someone like him, who essentially opposed a marriage arranged by the Emperor, expressed his own will? Moreover, the Imperial family has the power to control the Duke’s family.

Although I guessed as much, hearing it from his own mouth clarifies what attitude I should take.

“So you can’t publicly declare that the divorce was your decision.”

“Even if that’s not the case, there’s no need to divorce you.”

“But I have a reason.”

“I said I don’t have one, Alisa.”

“You might have a reason too.”

I pulled in my chin and steeled my resolve. Don’t be afraid, it’s okay. I have to say it.