At some point, Rashid stopped celebrating his birthday. His mother only reluctantly acknowledged it while watching his father’s mood, his brother acted as if such a day didn’t exist, and his sister avoided him while watching their mother and brother’s attitudes.

Rather, it was a tragic day for him. It was the day an unwanted life began.

So when Alisa said she would hold a birthday party for him, Rashid was a little surprised.

Deliberately. Particularly. His birthday was a day that matched such adverbs. There was no one to celebrate it with, and he himself hadn’t felt the need to. It was a day that meant nothing.

Until she celebrated it.

After the noisy party ended, Alisa came to find him with a pink cake. She said the small, cute cake was something she had taken time to make herself. Alisa’s eyes sparkled as she told him to make a wish while blowing out the candles.

Though hesitating a little, Rashid diligently followed her instructions.

“Happy birthday, Rashid.”

Ah.

At her words, Rashid’s eyes widened. In that moment, a gentle wind brushed past his heart. The surface of water that had been precariously full collapsed, and something that had been rippling began to overflow.

She conveyed with sincerity that today was a day to celebrate his birth. His chest resonated with the pure and transparent goodwill that left no room for doubt.

Rashid felt like he was experiencing his birthday for the first time since being born. He was happy. He couldn’t have imagined a day would come when he would feel this way.

Rashid stared intently at the wick of the extinguished candle.

He had only one wish.

It was….

* * *

I want to live in a future where you exist.

That night at Camelli. Through vision blurred by tears, Alisa came to him. To end the long nightmare.

Looking at her, Rashid repeated the wish he had made.

But, Alisa… You imagine a future without me. Because you want to leave the life of conforming to what was given, and move forward toward your own destiny.

You taking such courage appeared dazzlingly bright to me.

I never knew the path to winter inspection could feel this heavy.

When I received the handkerchief she had embroidered herself, my heart rippled gently.

She waits for me.

She waits for my return.

Having someone waiting for me…

That fact seemed to fill the lacking parts of my life.

Looking back, everyone either hated or disliked me. They feared me or coveted what I had. Standing among them felt like staying in an empty void, everything was futile and transient.

But not anymore.

Because Alisa is here.

That’s why I got angry when she came back from meeting Natalie.

Various emotions whirled into one. I was scared she might get hurt, and afraid she would despise me after seeing Natalie.

Her taking action on her own instead of staying still until my return was also like that. Though I thought it was just like her, it was too dangerous an incident to let slide.

For the first time, Rashid couldn’t control his own emotions. He hadn’t known human emotions could have such varied colors and unpredictable temperatures.

Finding himself ugly, he tried avoiding her for days but it was useless. Because not seeing Alisa was far more difficult.

And so Rashid finally acknowledged.

That Alisa Penvernon had become too deeply involved in his life.

He knew that just as Alisa had deep scars on her back, deep marks remained on his soul as well.

Alisa was a storm. A lovely storm that invaded his world without warning and roughly stirred it up.

Rashid wanted to surrender his whole body to that storm.

* * *

The fierce wind relentlessly beat against the outer windows.

To Rashid Penvernon, the land of camellias was a winter land. The seasons spent here were like that, and so were his feelings while staying here.

In this land, Rashid was alone. He was thoroughly lonely. It was the solitude bestowed by the power his family allowed, by the mission that came with it.

One night while staying in Camelli, Rashid had a dream.

He was left alone in a place as black as pitch where he couldn’t distinguish up from down or right from left.

An infinite space that didn’t end no matter how far he walked swallowed him. When he looked back at the path he had taken, camellia petals that had bloomed with each step were scattered red. Like traces of blood.

Just as he was about to bend down to pick up those petals, a familiar voice came from behind him,

“Rashid, what are you doing?”

It was a cheerful voice like chirping birds, warm like sunlight.

As he turned around, light began shining from there and the darkness started splitting. A feast of vivid colors that cut through the space dyed the world bright. It was so dazzling he couldn’t see ahead.

Rashid closed his eyes. Beyond his eyelids, everything turned red.

When he opened his eyes again, Alisa was within his sight. She was sleeping peacefully with soft breaths.

Rashid embraced her with a sigh of relief.

This small and delicate life form was truly strange beyond compare. Though she appeared infinitely slender and fragile to him, she actually walked forward alone with her back straight. Her appearance of living in compliance with given fate was nowhere to be seen.

Alisa now had things she wanted, and would do anything to achieve what she desired. She looked straight at him, smiled casually, and reached out without hesitation.

She peered into him. As if determined to find out what lay beyond the dark blue curtain, she crossed the line he had drawn with clear eyes and fresh smiles without a care.

What exactly are you?

Rashid found her strange and mysterious, and sometimes frightening.

In the days we spent together, I see your back. You turn around. You notice me. You smile at me. You call me.

‘Rashid!’

It was my name.

Before it is a modifier you don’t know.

Rashid, yours.

I was already your Rashid. Before you, I could exist not as Duke Penvernon but simply as Rashid.

On the sacred night in Camelli where countless stars devoured the night. My wife lay beside me. She must have fallen into deep sleep as I could hear her breathing softly. Her bright pink hair was scattered covering her face, so Rashid reached out to tidy it.

The skin that touched his fingertips was soft. Rashid gently stroked her cheek. Still Alisa neither woke up nor stirred, continuing to breathe evenly.

That appearance was truly defenseless. It was lovely how she let her guard down and found peace in his embrace without wariness. She had crossed into his boundaries without any sign, so casually, wearing only a thin chemise with no weapons or armor.

Rashid suddenly thought he wanted to touch beyond that fabric. Though he had touched there several times before, his feelings now were different. The white skin would be soft like ripe peach flesh and the red lips would be sweet like cherries in season.

The more breaths they shared and the deeper they became, the worse his thirst grew.

While suppressing and hiding his boiling desire, Rashid imprisoned Alisa in his arms. This is where Alisa should be. Just as it had been until now, and going forward. That’s what he wanted.

Divorce was nonsense.

At first he just found it absurd and interesting, wondering what she was talking about and how she planned to do it.

On one hand, he was also calculating the possibility of actually getting divorced.

But not anymore. Rashid now had things he wanted to do together with her.

They needed to go to the villa in the capital’s suburbs, to the western sea, and stop by Terde to see how the sinners’ child had grown.

It was the first time he had imagined a future with someone.

‘So, Alisa. Don’t leave me alone.’

Rashid wanted to be happy with Alisa. It seemed possible if she was there.

Wanting to be happy… This too was an unfamiliar wish.

Rashid realized these emotions, these desires were called love.

He acknowledged it. He was in love with Alisa. He wanted to live feeling her warmth by her side.

Like that, everything was a first. It all originated from Alisa.

‘I wish you felt the same as me.’

But he knows Alisa’s heart is different. How much she wants to distance herself from him.

While allowing him close, Alisa constantly talked about divorce. She only pitied and sympathized with him, not love. It was a pitiful truth.

So he can’t say anything now. Nothing should be made certain. Like quietly waiting so a butterfly that landed on a flower won’t flee from sudden movement, to make the butterfly stay in his world forever….

Like that, he would keep her imprisoned in his embrace forever.

So please don’t go anywhere. Please stay by my side until eternal time ends.

The one and only being I wanted myself. My light. My god. My beloved….

‘My Alisa….’

As he quietly gazed at her sleeping form, Rashid pulled Alisa even tighter into his embrace with a low laugh.

Then Alisa made a small complaint while asleep, her thin voice melting softly in his arms.