Elicity had a dream.

She saw a younger version of herself holding a baby with jet-black hair, while a youthful Alex looked on. It was unmistakably a dream.

Looking back, Elicity had been truly miserable at that time. She longed for her husband’s love but was unable to express it.

“Alex, are you going to the knightly order again?”

“Yes.”

“But the child is already one year old… And the war is over.”

“The war may be over, but my position is not yet secure. So I must go.”

His hands, busy fastening his armor and sword, showed no hesitation about leaving his wife and daughter behind.

Of course, Elicity knew that Alex needed to regularly display his outstanding skills, which had once crushed the legions of Salita, to be fully recognized. So she had to let him go.

‘But did he really have to wear such an indifferent expression…?’

“Waaah—!”

As if reading Elicity’s heart, Bella burst into tears.

Her wailing filled the bedroom as if it would shake the walls. The younger Elicity hastily tried to soothe her, but Bella’s cries did not subside easily, as if she knew her father was leaving her so coldly.

Elicity gazed blankly at her past self. Even in that difficult moment, she had kept glancing at her husband, hoping for his help. Foolishly.

“D-Dear. Bella seems hungry. Could you hold her for a moment while I prepare her bottle?”

“…”

“D-dear?”

Elicity vividly remembered what Alex had said and done next. No, it was too shocking to ever forget, even in death.

‘…That’s right.’

Alex had taken a step back as if the baby wrapped in swaddling cloth was a terrifying monster.

The once rock-solid crimson gaze wavered violently before dropping downward. He couldn’t even meet her eyes.

“I cannot hold her.”

“What?”

“…I will call a maid.”

With that single statement, Alex had left the room, choosing to grip his sword and armor instead of his daughter.

After that, he repeatedly refused to touch Bella.

Of course, as Bella grew older, there were many occasions where he had to escort her, and his refusals naturally ceased. But for Elicity, the memory was too painful to forget.

Why, why on earth?

Why had he refused to hold his own daughter?

To Elicity, this rejection hurt far more than his indifference towards her.

Bella was the beloved daughter she had carried for ten months and given birth to with great pain. She was Alex’s flesh and blood.

And yet, he rejected her.

It felt as if he was denying Elicity twice over.

Neither the socialites who sneered at her as a parasite clinging to her husband, nor the in-laws who disregarded her, nor even her own unloving family had ever wounded her as deeply as Alex had.

‘…Yes, I had forgotten with time.’

Elicity turned her gaze toward the past version of herself, standing alone in the corner of the bedroom like a statue.

After handing the baby over to the maid Alex had summoned, the young Duchess Zeroden stood there, frozen in place, like a stone monument. It was heartbreaking to see.

Unable to endure it any longer, the present-day Elicity collapsed onto the floor as if her body had given out.

At the same time, her vision brightened.

“…”

When she opened her eyes again, what she saw was—whether fortunate or unfortunate—the bedroom of the Duchess in her second life after regressing.

She had woken from the dream.

Elicity blankly blinked her eyes before unconsciously turning her head toward the window. The sky outside had already darkened.

The hostess of the banquet had abandoned her guests to sleep in her room—unbefitting of her position. That thought came to her belatedly.

But even now, she had no desire to rise and entertain her guests.

She had wished never to revisit that hellish time, not even in her dreams. How could she summon the energy to do anything now?

On top of that, the events of this morning—the empty bed, the incident with the Marchioness—kept bringing back memories of her past self, the one who had been unloved.

Elicity leaned back against the headboard and muttered quietly.

“…Elicity Lawrence, haven’t you realized after more than fifty years? A husband’s love was never important. As long as there was stability, that should have been enough.”

But at the end of her words, all that returned was an overwhelming emptiness. Elicity bit her lip until it bled.

She was not a child.

She knew all too well that what she felt now was similar to the affection she had once wished for from her husband in the early days of their marriage.

That was why she was afraid.

How pitiful and wretched were the days of waiting endlessly for a love that never came?

—Surely, my lord loves both you and the young lady.

Olivia’s words suddenly came to mind, but Elicity found herself shaking her head furiously.

Perhaps he only granted her requests because he respected her as the Duchess.

Perhaps the kindness Alex showed her now was not born of pure affection.

If he had truly loved her, he would not have treated her and Bella so cruelly before her regression.

Even though she had never experienced love firsthand, Elicity knew how lovers cherished one another.

Their gaze upon each other should be warmer than a hearth’s fire. Their touch should be as careful as one would handle a newborn chick. And every moment, they should be restless with the desire to express their love.

Suddenly, Elicity recalled a conversation she had once overheard at a gathering of noblewomen.

―Madam, remember this. A man will do anything to obtain a woman’s body. And once his desires are fulfilled, he may discard her.

Elicity believed that her upright husband could never be so heartless. Yet, at the same time, she had no guarantee that the affection he now showed was not merely driven by carnal desire.

After all, just last night, Alex had pursued her relentlessly. Even as unbearable pleasure engulfed her entire body, the fleeting glimpse she caught of her husband was that of a hunter. He was no different from a carnivorous beast devouring its prey to its heart’s content.

And afterward, he was gone.

‘No, a husband seeking his wife for such desires… Unlike a concubine, he chose to come to me, the lawful wife, so I should be pleased. I should be…’

Sitting in the cold bedroom, Elicity repeated the words to herself over and over again.

But instead of joy, all she felt was a sharp pain, as if her chest had been sliced open by a blade.

“……”

After sitting in silence on the bed for a long time, Elicity finally rose from her seat.

“Retia, where is my husband right now?”

***

The cool night breeze of early summer drifted into the study through the window frame.

Alex had been swiftly moving his pen over documents, but when the cold air brushed against his fingers, he briefly lifted his head.

“……It’s already night.”

It was time for bed.

However, Alex could not bring himself to return to the bedroom where Elicity would be waiting. It was not because of the mountain of documents piled on his desk.

It was because he kept recalling how, just a few hours ago, his wife had coldly pushed him away. And how, even then, he could not bring himself to reach out and touch his daughter.

Alex slowly held his right hand up to the candlelight. Thick calluses covered not only his fingertips but every part of his palm.

The knights of Zeroden spoke of these scars with reverence, but whenever Alex looked at them, all he could hear were curses.

—You’re nothing but a beastly murderer…! Killing innocent people like that?

—Do you think you can ever be happy after taking so many lives?

—I curse you. I curse you and your entire family!

Whenever he looked at his hands, those words echoed in his ears.

—Your daughter too… Your wife…

At the final, blood-soaked scream in his memory, Alex could no longer bear it.

With a loud ‘bang!’ he slammed his fist against the table.

The impact was so great that the knights outside murmured in concern. A slight dent formed where his fist had struck.

But Alex did not flinch. Instead, he roughly pulled the head of the house’s ring off his middle finger.

Under normal circumstances, it was a symbol that should never be removed. But tonight, it felt heavier than even his sword.

The ring tumbled across the desk, rolling noisily.

Yet, just as it reached the edge and was about to fall, Alex snatched it back.

Like lightning. Not desperately, but neither did he want to let it go.

It was proof that, regardless of everything, he still held the will to retain power over Zeroden.

‘……Damn it.’

He felt disgusted with himself.

If he could be wholly wicked, that would be easier. But he couldn’t.

Because deep down, he wanted to be a good husband and father.

—Your daughter…

His daughter, his beloved Isabella.

Yet at the same time, a young boy with a slanted smirk flashed through his mind.

“Damn it!”

Cursing, Alex raked his hand over his face.

He did not usually drink. But if he was to escape this nightmare, he would need something strong.

He rose from his seat, about to summon a servant.

And then—

There was a disturbance outside the study, followed by the knights announcing a visitor.

“My lord, the madam has arrived.”

For a moment, his heart plummeted.

His mind went blank, but soon, Elicity’s voice floated to him like a dream.

“Dear, may I come in?”

Her voice, light and sweet like cotton candy, felt unreal.

Yet the thundering of his heartbeat in his chest was deafeningly real.

A clear sign that this was not a dream.

Alex licked his dry lips.

Slowly but willingly, he moved toward the door where his wife waited.

However, his reaction was vastly different from recent days.

His hands trembled slightly. His steps were slow, hesitant—like a timid herbivore.

From outside, a puzzled voice called out.

“Dear? Is something wrong?”

“No, I’m coming out… now.”

When he turned the cold doorknob and pulled it open, Elicity stood before him.

Holding a slender candle, his wife was dressed in a deep purple nightgown, her long hair cascading over her shoulders.

Her rich, dark brown hair was secured at her waist with a crimson ribbon adorned with tiny rubies, and a few loose strands danced along her cheeks.

Just moments ago, he had been drowning in turmoil. But now, Alex realized he wanted to kiss her.

Yet he still hesitated.

Approaching her required countless moments of contemplation.

Because Elicity was the one person in the world who made him feel the most wretched.

With a bitter smile, Alex asked,

“What do you need to say?”