Chapter 3 (Part 4)

He moved his hips a few more times and then embraced her. Their bodies were drenched in sweat, but it didn’t feel sticky or dirty. Perhaps it was because there was no smell of sweat.

Then Cardin pulled her hips toward him. In an instant, his swollen member plunged deeply into her opening. The unexpected pleasure made her moan.

She thought her body was exhausted, but strangely, in this moment of contact with him, all she could think about was pleasure. Cardin moved vigorously, yet she felt strangely empty and wished he would enter more deeply.

As she moved her hips slightly, Cardin lay back. She looked down at him in surprise, and his large hands grasped her waist, moving her gently as if to rub against him.

In that moment, the pleasure pressing below made her bow her head and moan.

“Haa, hm…”

“Brienne, try moving.”

She felt abandoned on her own. Yet, her mind craved pleasure. If she didn’t move, Cardin seemed like he would never take the initiative.

Eventually, she moved her hips slightly, almost losing her balance. Cardin laughed and took her hand. He placed her hand on his abdomen and looked at her.

Unable to meet his persistent gaze, she lowered her head. Trying to move, she lifted her hips and lowered them, and a piercing sensation shot through her.

“Ugh.”

Cardin seemed to feel it too, as his chest heaved. Slowly looking up, she saw Cardin’s face. His sweat-soaked hair, slightly closed eyelids, and parted lips made her heart race. It wasn’t the first time she’d seen him aroused, but strangely, she couldn’t look away. It felt like her movements had caused him to be like this.

That sight inexplicably gave her confidence. Moving her hips more than before, Cardin’s chest heaved intensely.

She became more excited. Engulfed in pleasure, she moved her legs and swayed her hips.

“Ah, hm, uh, hm.”

Each time her skin touched Cardin’s, her chest shook, and the sound of their flesh meeting was loud. His hands moved from her waist to her chest, and each time he grasped firmly, the pleasure seemed to rise.

Especially when his member thrust upward from below, she couldn’t hold back any longer. As she sobbed and moaned, her waist arched as if hitting a dizzying peak. Unconsciously, she collapsed onto him, and Cardin embraced her and laid her down.

He entered more deeply than when she had moved. His firm thighs touched her, and his breathing grew increasingly rough. As he cl*maxed and moaned, even when she was exhausted and tried to escape, Cardin pulled her by the ankle and pressed their hips together. The sticky and heated night showed no signs of cooling.

When she opened her eyes, it was dawn. The warm and heated air had long since cooled. Yet, his body touching her back was still hot.

She lightly touched the veins protruding on his wrist, and the ring on her fourth finger sparkled. The deep blue light was exceptionally bright.

Marriage. Now it seemed like a word from a dream. Having cried so much before, no tears came, but a sense of regret welled up, followed by a surge of injustice, and then a sigh of resignation.

She slowly pushed Cardin’s arm and slipped out of his embrace. Turning back slowly, Cardin seemed peaceful, as if in a deep sleep.

She stared at his face, faintly touched by the moonlight, for a long time.

‘I won’t be able to see him again.’

His hands that embraced her, the soft lips that touched her, and his smile.

Tears trickled down. She turned her body with resignation. She opened the lower cabinet in the kitchen and took out the letter she had prepared and the small knife Cardin had given her.

She went to the table slowly. On it, she placed the letter she had written before, the letter from the Messerode family, the knife, and the ring she took off her finger. Seeing them gathered in one place, they all shone.

Perhaps because they couldn’t be hers, she couldn’t take her eyes off them. Holding back her tears, she left the house. She went to the stable, released Viche, and packed her luggage.

She looked at the house one last time. Though shrouded in darkness, many happy memories came to mind. She stared at the closed door for a long time before turning away.

Viche followed silently beside her. It seemed like it would be a long and difficult time. More so than before.

*   *   *

Cardin woke up with a keen sense that something was amiss. The surroundings were bright. Looking to the side, Brienne was not there. He furrowed his eyebrows and looked around.

The bag that always held herbs was gone. Leaving early in the morning without telling him bothered him.

Cardin got up from the bed with a feeling of unease. As he looked ahead absentmindedly, the bright light on the table caught his eye. He walked straight to the table.

He hadn’t taken more than a few steps when his gaze sharpened. On the table were a knife, a ring, and two overlapping sheets of paper. He ignored the envelope with the family seal and unfolded the familiar handwriting.

To Cardin,

I’m sorry for everything.

I said I’d help you find your memories, but in truth, I didn’t want you to remember.

There was something my father did.

I lied because it would be hard to see your contemptuous face from the academy again.

When you said you didn’t need to find your memory, I wasn’t happy but anxious.

Because if you remembered, you would surely hate me.

I’ve lied to you all this time.

The truth is, the knife you gave me is from your family.

I knew where your mansion was.

But I couldn’t tell you.

I wanted to stay with you while you couldn’t remember.

But I can’t deceive you any longer.

Yesterday, a letter came from your family.

Their people will come soon.

Cardin, I’m truly sorry. For everything my father did too.

– Brienne

The letter crumpled carelessly in his hand. Cardin ran out of the house and looked around. He checked the stable, the storage, and around the house, but she was gone.

She had disappeared. He let out a hollow laugh.

The sun shone hotly down, but he didn’t even wipe away the sweat. Something boiled inside him, but only a bitter laugh came out.

Then sweat trickled from his forehead into his eyes. Cardin furrowed his eyebrows and irritably brushed his hair back.

His breath came out hot, and his gaze sharpened.

‘Leave?’

He had just proposed yesterday. He couldn’t have been happier… and she left?

A hollow laugh escaped. Unable to believe it, he looked at the house. The door from which Brienne seemed like she would emerge any moment.

He hurried back inside the house. She wasn’t there. It was eerily quiet, as if no one had ever been there.

Cardin let out a hollow breath and went outside. He couldn’t stay inside. The emotions boiling from his core were unbearable.

Under the scorching sun, only the places marked by Brienne’s touch caught his eye. The flat stone where she always dried herbs, the post where she sometimes tied the gray donkey, the bag hanger next to the door.

‘Damn.’

Cardin wrapped his head in frustration with a rough breath.

‘Why? Damn.’

Suddenly, tears fell. This feeling was new. Unexpected and unthinkable, it left him more knotted and unable to believe it.

‘I didn’t even know I’d regained my memory. I definitely didn’t know.’

Damn, damn, damn, damn, damn. 

His hands clenched his hair. Blue veins stood out on his hands as his breath grew rough.

Cardin bit his lip and furrowed his brow. Tears streamed down his cheeks without stopping. Without thinking of wiping them, he pondered why Brienne left.

Was it because I proposed out of the blue? No, Brienne hadn’t said she didn’t want it. Then why… 

His eyes suddenly sharpened.

‘Was it because I didn’t tell her my memory returned?’

He hadn’t told her on purpose, fearing she would leave. From the start, she seemed afraid of him regaining his memory.

Come to think of it, her guilt was evident in her last letter.

Cardin’s fingers tightened. He took a deep breath and looked at the ground. He should have told her from the start.

That even if his memory returned, he still liked her, loved her.

Not being able to say that one thing, damn it. 

Cardin was overwhelmed with despair and ruffled his hair.

‘Why did you leave me?’

Cardin bit his lip as if he couldn’t bear it. The taste of blood filled his mouth. Tears darkened the dirt beneath him. The tears that flowed incessantly blurred his vision.

He furrowed his brow and took a deep breath. If he found Brienne, he would surely tell her his true feelings.

That even if his memory returned, even if Brienne’s father did those things, he loved her. That the past no longer mattered.