Chapter 7 (Part 3)
‘Don’t feel sorry for me. You keep saying you’re no help to me, but you’re someone worth every sacrifice and hardship I’ve faced to meet. Do you know that?’
Cardin had said those words. That she was worth every sacrifice. But did he really need to sacrifice so much for her? Did he really need to live such a busy and difficult life?
And she couldn’t even conceive. That was the most painful part. The future with Cardin had always seemed bleak. Tears streamed down her face without pause.
She had always known how this marriage would end, and she hadn’t been unprepared for this situation. Yet everything she had been holding back spilled out, soaking the sink.
Suddenly, the sound of hurried footsteps echoed, and the restroom door swung open. Startled, she turned her head to see Cardin standing there.
He hesitated when he saw her face, then quickly approached.
“Are you alright?”
Cardin gently placed his hand on her cheek, his voice filled with concern.
“What happened? If you’re feeling unwell, I’ll call a doctor immediately….”
She stepped back. Cardin froze and stared at her. His gaze hardened, a strange chill emanating from him. She barely managed to speak.
“If I can’t conceive, you won’t be able to continue the family line.”
Cardin closed his eyes, as if holding back his anger, then opened them again.
“Who told you that?”
His voice was low and rough, as if he’d lash out at whoever had said it.
“That’s not important right now. I…”
“The people around you aren’t all good. Don’t take their words seriously. They’re of no help to you.”
“Is it true?”
Her voice trembled. Cardin frowned and asked.
“What is?”
“That if you don’t have an heir, Roquek will take over the Messerode family.”
“Yes.”
It felt as if she’d been struck on the head. In the end, Cardin was suffering enormous losses because of her.
She stepped back further. Cardin furrowed his brows and let out a sigh.
“I’ll take care of everything. You just…”
“Do you really need to make yourself so busy and exhausted?”
“Brienne.”
“I can’t cure my infertility. No matter how much medicine Kelle gave me, it didn’t work. Most of the people who took Kelle’s medicine for infertility were cured, but I wasn’t.”
“There’s also the medicine prescribed by the family doctor. If you take that…”
“What if I say I don’t want to conceive?”
Cardin’s expression hardened.
“You said everything would be fine. That it didn’t matter if I couldn’t conceive.”
“I’m making everything fine. So…”
“Honestly, every time you say that, it’s hard for me.”
“What do you mean?”
His gaze was rough and piercing. She couldn’t meet his eyes as she spoke.
“I’m tired of taking infertility medicine. I’m tired of you feeling sorry for me because you’re so busy. And most of all, I feel like I’m not the person who should be by your side.”
She spoke honestly. Being in this position only made her feel the distance between her and Cardin.
Cardin looked at her, his expression filled with frustration.
“I told you everything would be alright.”
“…….”
“Can’t you endure just a little longer?”
“The more I endure, the more I feel sorry for you, and it feels like I’m becoming unhappy.”
Perhaps the memories with Cardin were better left buried in the past, in the cabin. That thought began to cross her mind now. Rather than remaining a burden to Cardin, she thought it might be better to live alone, gathering herbs.
Tears welled up. She had wanted to be someone who could help Cardin, someone who could stand by his side.
“I’m sorry, Cardin.”
Cardin stepped closer. There was nowhere to retreat. Her back was against the marble wall. Standing so close in front of her, Cardin spoke.
“I told you.”
He lowered his head so close that she could feel his breath. His warm breath brushed against her lips.
“Don’t apologize.”
For a moment, their breaths intertwined. As she tried to step aside, Cardin pressed his thigh between her legs. Startled, she looked up at him, and he spoke softly.
“Even though I’ve done everything you wanted.”
“…….”
“Was it still so difficult for you?”
There was a tremor of emotion in his voice. Cardin was struggling too, and this relationship seemed like it would only harm them both.
In any case, she needed to end this relationship. That would be better for Cardin.
“Yes.”
She wished Cardin would let go of his feelings for her. She wished he could live comfortably without making such sacrifices.
“Cardin, so let’s…”
She tried to say they should part ways, but she couldn’t finish her sentence.
Because he kissed her.
The sudden kiss spread hurriedly, his breath rough. He pressed her against the wall, their torsos meeting. His lips left no space to breathe. His hot breath and body enveloped her completely.
“Mm, mmph.”
She tried to turn her head, but Cardin held the back of her head firmly, deepening the kiss. It was as if he would swallow her whole, his lips moving fiercely, his breath thick with raw instinct.
In the end, she bit his tongue. She hadn’t wanted to, but there was no other way to stop him. Cardin froze for a moment before slowly pulling back.
Their heated breaths tangled in the air. His gaze was still dark with unspent passion.
“We will never separate, so don’t even bring up something like that.”
It seemed Cardin had already guessed what she was about to say. She lowered her head. She was too tired to speak further, and she didn’t want to meet his gaze.
At that moment, the sound of light, clicking heels echoed. The sound stopped just outside the restroom door before the door opened. A noblewoman standing at the entrance gasped softly in surprise.
“Oh my.”
Cardin smiled nonchalantly.
“My wife drank too much, and she’s struggling.”
He effortlessly lifted her into his arms. The noblewoman, looking startled, awkwardly bowed her head. Without hesitation, Cardin carried her out of the restroom.
Even after entering an empty hallway, he didn’t put her down and walked silently.
“Put me down.”
She sighed as she spoke, but he didn’t respond.
“Cardin.”
Only then did he set her down. But as if he feared she might run away, he gripped her hand tightly.
“Don’t meet with my mother again.”
Then he began to lead her away, but she stopped in her tracks. Cardin paused and turned to look at her. She stared at the floor and spoke.
“This makes us the same.”
“What does?”
Finally, she raised her head to meet his gaze.
“You and me, our relationship.”
“…….”
“It’ll only get harder since I can’t conceive.”
“I’ll take care of that, so don’t worry about it.”
His words made her emotions surge.
“It’s harder for me when you say not to worry. You’re making sacrifices you don’t need to make.”
Cardin stepped closer to her, his gaze sharp.
“I told you before. You…”
“Divorce me.”
Cardin’s gaze turned icy in an instant.
“Divorce?”
“We’re not going to work out anyway.”
“What do you mean we won’t work out? I’m trying.”
“Will it work just because you’re trying? What about my insignificant family? My body?”
“Brienne, I’ve already told you countless times…”
At that moment, the sound of heels echoed again. Cardin let out a deep sigh before stepping closer to her.
“Divorce is out of the question. If you’re having a hard time here, go stay with Kelle for a while.”
“Go like this? Without separating?”
“I’ll never sign the divorce papers.”
“Cardin.”
Her voice trembled. This way, she wouldn’t be able to keep her promise to Hernes. Instead, it seemed he was growing more obsessed.
She stepped back and spoke.
“To be honest, I never wanted to marry you.”
Cardin’s gaze hardened. Her heart ached, but she forced herself to continue.
“I only married you because your mother asked me to. She told me to stay by your side until your feelings faded.”
His eyes wavered. Unable to look at him any longer, she muttered.
“I stayed by your side to repay a debt.”
Her heart ached, but she barely held back her tears as she continued.
“You told me yourself. If I wanted to leave, I had to repay the debt.”
Cardin stared at her for a long time. A cool breeze drifted between them through the window. The surroundings were quiet, but the distant laughter from the banquet hall echoed in her ears.
The dark silence slowly pressed down on her heart.
“Was it so hard being by my side that you’d say something like that?”
Even though her words had been harsh, Cardin’s voice strangely felt tender, as if it were embracing her. When she looked at him with trembling eyes, Cardin cupped her cheek.
“Was it unbearable?”
“…Yes.”
His emerald eyes darkened.
“Why does my love only seem to hurt you?”
Cardin sighed as he spoke.
“I’m sorry.”
“…….”
“Even though I know I’m hurting you, I can’t let you go, Brienne.”
He looked at her intently.
“Even if you try to use me, even if you say you don’t love me, I won’t consider divorcing you.”
Her eyes widened in surprise, and Cardin let out a soft laugh as he spoke gently.
“I never thought I’d be so grateful to my mother. For personally arranging our marriage.”
“…….”
“You never intended to marry me in the first place.”
Though his gaze carried a faint smile, his expression seemed strangely wounded. The slight upward curve of his lips looked bitter.