It was near the estate when I first noticed something odd about Ian.

“Ian?”

Thinking he might be asleep, I called his name, but there was no response. Then I realized that despite the rain outside, the air inside the carriage felt unusually warm, even though it was still early summer. I quickly reached out.

“Ian, are you alright?”

His body was burning. I shook his shoulder and called his name again, but he was unresponsive, and a wave of fear surged through me. I immediately opened the window and shouted to Phillip, who was driving the carriage through the rain.

“Phillip! Ian is sick! Hurry ahead and fetch the doctor!”

Phillip spurred the horses and rushed off. I also urged the coachman to hurry and held Ian close. I started reciting prayers just in case, but his body remained hot. Even after we reached the estate, I continued to pray while waiting for the doctor to arrive.

“It appears to be a fever,” the doctor said dismissively. “He’s likely exhausted from skipping meals and not getting proper sleep.”

“But… Ian has never been this sick before…”

“Ah, this will be a good chance to test the fever medicine we recently developed together. I’ll prepare it immediately, so please wait a moment.”

“…That’s all?”

I was just upset. Ian had never been this sick—not even when he was stabbed, he had stayed perfectly lucid. To me, this was a huge deal, so I felt hurt and frustrated by the doctor’s nonchalant attitude. After a brief pause, the doctor smiled and said,

“If you’re having trouble waiting, My Lady, you can wipe him down with a cool cloth. It’ll help bring down the fever.”

I nodded, eager to do something—anything—to help. Soon, a maid brought a bowl of water and a cloth. Only after squeezing out the cloth did I realize what this situation entailed.

“My Lady?”

“Yes?”

Startled by her voice, I turned to find Jane looking at me with a curious expression.

“Would you like help undressing him?”

“Uh?”

I was completely flustered, unsure what to do.

“You need to undress him to wipe him down…”

“Me? I…?”

It’s not that I didn’t know how to nurse someone in this situation. I’d volunteered with my mother at the estate’s clinic when I was young, so I knew exactly what to do, but…

“What’s wrong?” Jane asked.

“No, it’s nothing.”

With trembling hands, I carefully lifted Ian’s shirt. Seeing the toned muscles beneath, I quickly pulled my hands back.

“This doesn’t feel right.”

“Pardon?”

“If Ian wakes up and realizes I did this, he might feel embarrassed.”

Jane looked at me, speechless, and sighed.

“The Duke? Embarrassed?”

Of course, I’d never actually seen Ian look embarrassed, but it was possible, wasn’t it?

“He’ll be grateful. I’ll hold him up; you just undress him.”

Having experience from caring for me before, Jane deftly lifted Ian’s upper body, and I quickly slipped his shirt off, helping her. Was this really okay? Once I’d taken off his shirt, Jane also stepped back, leaving me alone to look at him. She gently reminded me, “He’s a patient—a patient.”

“Yes… that’s right…”

Yes. Ian is a patient right now. Cooling him down is what’s important. I swallowed hard and began wiping his flushed face with the damp cloth. He was still unconscious, and as I looked at his face, an overwhelming compassion surged within me. It felt like this had happened because of me.

His body bore numerous scars, marks that testified to his close encounters with death, likely earned on battlefields where holy water was scarce. Knowing it wouldn’t do any good, I still silently prayed as I cleaned his wounds. But as expected, no miracle occurred. Ian remained feverish, and guilt consumed me.

There was a time when healing would’ve been effortless for me, but I had never felt such urgency back then. Now, my wish for him to be free of pain was genuine, so why wasn’t it working? Tears threatened to spill. Was it because my resolve wasn’t strong enough? Because I didn’t love him enough?

Finally, a tear slipped onto Ian’s cheek, and just then, he opened his eyes.

“…Liv?”

I froze, unable to say anything.

“Why are you crying?”

“…”

“What…”

Because you’re in pain because of me. But caught off guard, I stumbled over my words and gave a hasty excuse.

“I tried using magic, but… it didn’t work.”

“…”

“I prayed for you to get better, but nothing happened…”

It was just an excuse, yet somehow, it stirred my emotions. Another wave of tears welled up, and I looked down to avoid his gaze, but I couldn’t stop the tears from falling. The more I tried, the more my shoulders shook with suppressed sobs. Gently, Ian pulled my arm and drew me close until I found myself resting against his chest.

“I must have done so much wrong.”

Ian held me tightly.

“When you’re even crying for me in your dreams…”

I should have said it wasn’t a dream and pulled away, but my tears wouldn’t stop. After finally ceasing to cry and lifting my head, I saw that Ian had fallen unconscious again. Feeling a wave of emptiness, I slowly stood up and began wiping his body down with the damp cloth once more.

The fever medicine the doctor brought was indeed effective, and before long, Ian’s fever had subsided. After checking that he was resting comfortably, I returned to my own room.

I lay alone in bed all night, unable to sleep. In this world, medicine isn’t well-developed, so pneumonia can take a life in an instant. I was terrified he might fall sick again in the night. When Jane came to see me in the morning, she noticed my state and asked with concern.

“Didn’t you sleep?”

“…How’s Ian?”

“He’s awake now, so there’s no need to worry.”

I breathed a sigh of relief. Last night, I wanted to stay by his side, but I wasn’t sure if I had the right. I remembered the day I’d awoken from a long sleep to find Ian lying beside me. He’d said he couldn’t sleep anywhere else, terrified I might die. I hadn’t understood the depth of his feelings then and had gotten angry instead.

“You wanted a divorce, but you seem awfully worried about him, don’t you?”

I must have looked ridiculous to Jane as well. Trying to smile, I replied, “I suppose it’s because this is my first time worrying over someone who’s sick.”

“Your first time?”

“I used to have divine power.”

No matter how sick someone was, I could always heal them if I chose to. I’d never felt anxious or deeply concerned. If I felt pity, I would secretly heal them; even then, it was merely a shallow feeling. After all, they would be fine soon enough.

Hearing that Ian was in the family dining room, I went down without bothering to tidy up. I found him there, eating breakfast, looking completely fine—as if his illness yesterday had been a lie.

“Liv? Why are you here?”

He looked so healthy, it annoyed me. Typically, noblewomen have breakfast in their bedrooms, so I planned to say I came down to read the morning paper. But I changed my mind.

“You were sick yesterday. I came to check on you.”

Ian seemed visibly flustered.

“Are you feeling better now?”

“…Yes.”

Since he was fine, there was nothing else to say. I stood there awkwardly until Ian quickly rose and pulled out a chair for me, so I reluctantly sat down.

“Have you had breakfast? Should I bring you some?”

“No, I’m not hungry.”

Was the medicine crafted by the doctor and Professor Loren really that effective? Ian even seemed dressed to go to work, as if he hadn’t been ill at all. Not wanting to make him uncomfortable, I smiled.

“I…”

“Liv,”

We spoke nearly at the same time. I quickly motioned for him to go first.

“You first.”

“No, please, you go ahead.”

“Honestly, I didn’t have anything to say. I was just trying to fill the silence, so go ahead.”

Surprised by my bluntness, Ian awkwardly chuckled and said, “Well, I just wanted to apologize—I think I made a mistake yesterday.”

“A mistake?”

“I heard you looked after me yesterday…”

He blushed as I looked at him in surprise.

“Yesterday… uh, I thought it was a dream. So, well, sorry.”

Oh, for hugging me. I was actually grateful he hadn’t mentioned that I had wiped him down. In hindsight, I could have just waited a bit longer for the medicine to work, and I felt foolish for doing something so unnecessary. The doctor had probably intended to just give him the medicine but changed course after my insistence.

“It’s alright. You weren’t fully conscious…”

Relieved, Ian smiled. Silence fell again. Why did I come all this way in the morning just to make him uncomfortable? As I searched for something to say, Ian spoke up again.

“By the way, about last night, when you seemed upset.”

“Yes?”

“You cried because you couldn’t use magic, right?”

The way he said it, it sounded like I’d thrown a tantrum. But I couldn’t very well say that I’d been upset simply because he was in pain, so I let out a sigh.

“…Yes.”

Ian spoke carefully. “I looked into it, and I found that there’s a common trait among wizards when they first awaken.”

“What is it?”

“They all made a wish for themselves.”

This was news to me.

“So even if you had tried to use magic for me last night, it wouldn’t have worked.”

He was trying to console me. Did he know how I’d felt last night, the despair of doubting even my own love for him? Embarrassed, I touched my cheek to hide my unease.

“I heard you’ve never been seriously ill because of your divine power. Is that right?”

“Yes.”

“Perhaps that’s why you’ve been unable to awaken through magic all this time—because you’ve never made a wish for yourself.”

I paused, realizing he was right. Thanks to the blessing of divine power, I’d never been seriously ill. Even if I had been, a simple prayer had always healed me, so I’d never felt a wish that was urgent enough to spark an awakening.