Chapter 44 – Independence

Adriana remained in her seat even after Ian had left. After he suddenly disappeared backstage, a brief commotion erupted in the audience.

People began to speculate about what might have caused the Duke of Keppel to rush away so abruptly, wondering if an accident or some other incident had occurred.

The event host tried to continue as if nothing had happened, announcing the end of the second act and encouraging everyone to enjoy the reception, but no one could fully relax. When people realized that even Count Hershey had left, they approached Adriana.

“Dowager Duchess Keppel, what happened?”

“Could it be that some unsavory group has appeared again?”

Adriana was just as frustrated as everyone else, not knowing what had happened, but she kept a calm smile on her face. If she appeared flustered here, it could cause trouble for Ian.

“If that were the case, it wouldn’t be so quiet right now.”

“But even Count Hershey has left his seat, hasn’t he?”

“Count Hershey had some responsibilities related to the performance, so it’s probably because of that.”

As soon as Adriana finished speaking, flower petals began to flutter in the air. The audience, initially puzzled about where the petals were coming from when there were no flowering trees around, soon realized it was magic.

“Look at the sky!”

Someone shouted. The petals gathered in the air and formed the flag of the Empire. The petals then dispersed and reformed into the Emperor’s face. Taking advantage of everyone’s attention being fixed on the sky, Adriana quietly slipped away from the square. As soon as she returned to the estate, Vanon, the butler, greeted her as if he had been waiting.

“Has Liv returned?”

Adriana froze in place, her heart skipping a beat upon hearing Vanon’s words. She wanted to rush to confirm it herself, but she hesitated, knowing Ian was likely by her side. Though he was her own son, she had never fully understood him, perhaps because she hadn’t raised him herself. With a trembling voice, she asked:

“How does she seem?”

“She’s unconscious but appears uninjured. The Duke is calmly waiting for the Duchess to awaken. However… it might be best not to disturb them for the time being.”

“…Alright.”

She climbed the stairs slowly, feeling as if she were weighed down by heavy chains. Ian was different from her late husband; half of her blood flowed in his veins. But sometimes, when she saw his impassive expression and aloof demeanor, she was reminded of her husband, and it sent chills down her spine.

It was inevitable that he would take after his father, having been raised under his influence. She hadn’t expected the consequences of neglecting her child to return to her like this.

“My head aches. If Ian looks for me, tell him I’m sleeping.”

Adriana was about to retreat to her room, as she usually did. But this time, Vanon didn’t leave and instead remained standing by her door.

“Do you have something to say?”

“…Shall I send word to Lady Hershey?”

“Oh.”

Adriana frowned, finally remembering something she had overlooked. Now that Liv had returned, she should inform Maria first. However, her chronic headache seemed to be worsening.

Maria had left the estate a month after Liv had disappeared, refusing even the house provided by the Keppel family and moving to the Hershey family’s townhouse. Adriana hadn’t been able to stop her, as Maria had been resolute in her decision.

Maria would surely be overjoyed to hear that Liv had returned, but… there was a chance she might try to take Liv away this time. The thought filled Adriana with fear.

“I—I should go myself.”

It seemed wiser to gauge Maria’s reaction in person. Maria had a fiery temper, and the last thing Adriana wanted was for Maria to insist on taking Liv away, provoking Ian and creating a worst-case scenario. Though she knew that someday she would have to let Liv go, now was not the time. Ian wasn’t ready. Ultimately, Adriana couldn’t hide away like she had before and had to step out on her own.

“You’ve come.”

Unexpectedly, Maria greeted Adriana with a calm face, as if she had been expecting her.

“You’ve come because of Liv, haven’t you? I heard about it. Benjamin brought Liv and Ian back to the estate and then came straight here to tell me. He’s gone back to the square to manage the situation now.”

Adriana quietly accepted the teacup Maria offered her, the cup feeling unusually hot in her hands, likely due to her nervousness.

“…Adriana, even though Liv has returned, I have no intention of living with her again. If you came to ask me that, you can leave. It’s enough for me to know that Liv is safe. I’ll wait here for my daughter to wake up.”

“Don’t you want to see Liv? You were so worried about her.”

Maria remained silent for a moment before speaking softly.

“I’ve missed her terribly and still worry about her. But after Liv left, I finally realized something.”

Maria swallowed her rising emotions along with the tea. She desperately wanted to see her daughter’s face and confirm that she was safe and unharmed. But if she did, she knew she would want to stay by Liv’s side once again. Maria shared the thoughts she had been dwelling on ever since Liv disappeared.

“Independence means I need to become independent from my child as well.”

Even after marrying her off, she relied on Liv so much. When her husband, whom she had expected to spend her life with, suddenly died, and she couldn’t turn to her estranged family for help, she had fallen to rock bottom overnight. Without her daughter, she wouldn’t have been able to go on. Ironically, the worst time of her life, living in the countryside, had helped Maria endure Liv’s absence. The memories were still vivid.

“You won’t be able to find a maid here… Try going to the city. Or you could write a letter to the employment agency.”

“A letter? But I noticed there’s no post office here…”

“When the food supplier comes to the inn next week, you can send it through them. It will take two weeks to get a reply, though.”

Maria felt overwhelmed and lost after hearing the villager’s words. How could she manage two weeks without a maid? Maria had never cooked or done laundry herself. While she was consumed by despair, Liv took charge.

“What do you do, ma’am? Are you an employee here?”

“Me? No, I’m not an employee. I’m just filling in. I don’t have much to do during the day… but I’m busy in the evening because I have to cook for my husband and kids. Why, are you thinking of hiring me as a maid? I can’t do that—I have a family to take care of.”

“Then how about working at our house for about four hours during the day? I’ll pay you 20 nips per hour.”

Liv found a way to hire the woman as a part-time maid, something Maria hadn’t even considered. She also hired the woman’s children to help repair the cottage. While Maria lay in bed, consumed by grief over losing her husband, Liv learned to cook and manage the household through the maid.

When Maria finally regained her senses, the cottage had transformed into a livable place. When she finally managed to push through her grief and come downstairs, Liv ran out from the kitchen, beaming with a bright smile.

But back then, Maria had been too consumed by guilt over making her daughter handle everything alone to notice Liv’s radiant smile. She should have praised her.

She should have told her how proud she was, how it was thanks to her that she had managed to overcome her grief. Olivia had always been the one to bring small joys even in the midst of despair, never complaining about any hardship. When such a daughter suddenly left without a word, deceiving everyone, Maria was devastated.

“I relied on her too much. That’s why she forgot how to rely on her parents and eventually came to trust no one.”

The truth was, Liv had always been special. In trying so hard to raise her to appear ordinary, Maria had convinced herself that her daughter was indeed ordinary. Perhaps Liv had never relied on her parents, not even once.

“I don’t want to go back to that house and be a burden to Liv again. Liv never caused me any trouble. No matter how desperate the situation, she always put her family first. For a child like that to leave without saying anything to me… it means I was the problem.”

“Maria, that’s too much of a leap.”

“No, we were wrong, Adriana. You and I were both wrong. And you’re making a big mistake, too.”

Adriana wanted to say something to comfort Maria, but she was at a loss for words in the face of Maria’s assertions.

“Liv is not like you.”

Maria looked at Adriana with a cold expression.

“Adriana, you once said that Liv reminded you of yourself. Does she really seem to live a similar life to yours? No. Don’t equate our daughter with you. Liv is Liv, and you are you. You tried to protect Liv in the way you wished to be protected, but to Liv, it was just another form of confinement.”

Adriana had a feeling that something was wrong, but she couldn’t pinpoint exactly what it was, leaving her confused. Sensing her confusion, Maria explained more simply.

“Liv never asked you to protect her from your son, did she?”

It must have felt like a punch in the gut. Maria could see the shock in Adriana’s eyes, and though it might be cruel, she knew it was something she had to say for her daughter’s sake.

“At the time, I was too shaken to see things clearly and was frightened by what you told me, but looking back now, you were wrong. My daughter is someone who can protect herself. And Ian, too—he’s not as bad as you think.”

Adriana’s face turned as pale as a sheet. She looked like she might faint at any moment. But Maria had no intention of stopping. Let her faint if she must—her daughter was still unconscious.

“While we were busy locking Liv up inside the mansion, trying to shield her from all the harshness of the world, our daughter boldly stepped out into the world. Though I momentarily forgot, I knew she could thrive anywhere. Liv has that strength and specialness… and that’s why I was able to endure while you fell apart.”

Adriana was nearly in a daze.

“I decided to trust my daughter and wait. So… why don’t you try trusting your son a little?”

Adriana fled from the Hushi townhouse as if she were running away. Maria seemed so firm in her beliefs. How could she have such faith in her child? Was that what motherhood was? Adriana pondered all the way back to the mansion in the carriage, trying to recall what kind of child Ian had been. She struggled to remember, but all that came to mind was his expressionless face.

By the time she arrived back at the mansion, the sun had already set. Amid the long shadows, Adriana noticed a familiar figure and flinched. Her steps instinctively halted. But it didn’t take long for her to realize that the tall shadow wasn’t her husband’s. The figure was moving further away.

“Ian…”

It was a whisper, but it was enough to make the shadow stop. For some reason, she felt like crying. She lifted her gaze from the shadow. Ian was looking at her with the same expressionless face. Every time she saw that emotionless face, it reminded her of her husband.

Her husband had been a man devoid of emotions, or so it seemed. He would interact with others with a blank face, as if he didn’t know what kindness was. Being the master of the Keppel household, with a stature that rivaled that of an emperor, perhaps it was natural for him to be so arrogant.

She had hated it, so she forced Ian to smile. And though Ian smiled at everyone else, he never once smiled at her. She had always thought it was out of defiance or resentment, or perhaps he truly found his mother unbearable. That’s all she had thought.

But in hindsight, Ian had never really defied her. The only time he resisted was when she tried to control even his emotions. Perhaps her son had been silently screaming all along, behind that blank face, trying to say, “I’m a person too. I have feelings…”

“Is Liv okay?”

Without knowing it, she had always brought up Liv because it was the only time Ian ever showed emotion in front of her. So, she kept pressuring him to be good to Liv and to fulfill his role as an heir, even though she knew he disliked it. If she had left him alone, perhaps things wouldn’t have come this far. Finally, Adriana couldn’t hold back the sobs that broke free from her throat.

“…How about you? How are you?”

She should have asked that sooner. ‘How are you?’

“……”

‘Do you love her? Do you resent your mother?’

Ian looked at her as if seeing something unfamiliar. He hesitated for a moment, then cautiously parted his lips.

“…I’m alive, so…”

He didn’t say he was glad or that he was okay. But for the first time, Adriana felt like she understood her son’s heart, and she simply nodded.

“I see. I understand.”

Swallowing her tears, she took a step forward. Ian didn’t look away. She walked toward him, each step deliberate, reaching out her arms. Ian didn’t flee. Finally, she embraced her son.

“I used to think Liv could make you happy. But now, I’m not so sure. I just…”

‘I’ve decided to trust you.’

“…know that you can make her happy.”