Chapter 8 – Don’t Make Many People Miserable

His voice was serious. I stood still, holding the doorknob. At least I had enough patience left to let him say what he wanted to say.

Let’s hear it out.

“If I had known you loved me, I wouldn’t have thought of marrying you. And now, I don’t want to use you anymore. So…”

He seemed sincere. I let out a bitter laugh and, forgetting my resolve to endure for the sake of a comfortable life, retorted sharply.

“So, have you found someone else to use instead of me? Because you pity me? And when that beautiful woman becomes pitiful, will you look for another? Why not just end it with me? Don’t make many people miserable.”

I quietly opened the door and walked out, gently closing it behind me. I wanted to slam it, but I couldn’t risk someone seeing.

There were probably a lot of people eager to find out how the fight between the Keppel couple ended, given how Ian had dragged me out with a grim expression.

I went straight down to the lobby and called for the Keppel family’s carriage. As I was about to leave, I remembered Walter waiting in the hall and asked a hotel staff member to give him some fare.

Sitting in the carriage on the way back to the Keppel mansion, I suddenly felt angry and on the verge of tears. I buried my face in my hands and took deep breaths, but the tears wouldn’t stop.

I wanted to tell him that I don’t love him, but he wouldn’t believe me anyway, so I couldn’t say it. It was frustrating. I couldn’t stand how he was kind to everyone else but so harsh to me.

Ian Keppel! You’re no longer my favorite! You’re just my welfare card! I’ll treat you like a social security system on paper from now on! Got it? You old-age pensioner!

***

“Your Grace, another letter has arrived.”

Unfortunately, and really annoyingly, there was some truth to Ian’s words. Walter had feelings for me. His letters were very polite and cautious, but they revealed a hidden affection.

I was conflicted. Ophelia’s debut was a month away. The unofficial social season had already begun with the Canova Ball, and I planned to attend at least three more events, big and small, to understand the social scene.

As a royal chaperone, I couldn’t afford to be a recluse.

Even outside of balls, many social gatherings required a partner. But I had no desire to ask Ian to be my partner. Initially, I had planned to bring Walter, but now that it seemed he liked me, I hesitated. The content of his letters wasn’t a big issue, but the fact that he sent them almost daily was.

If I hadn’t smugly told Ian not to use anyone else and to end it with me, I could have pretended not to notice and invited Walter again.

“How am I supposed to find another partner…”

Times like these make you miss having relatives. I do have a cousin. The son of my uncle who exiled my mother and me to the countryside. I have maternal cousins too, but among my relatives, the only unmarried male is him.

As much as I despise my uncle, Benjamin, his son, has done nothing wrong. Moreover, he had recently returned from studying abroad, so introducing him to the social scene would be a good pretext. Despite my aversion to my uncle, I reluctantly wrote a letter to Benjamin.

Benjamin responded almost immediately. He planned to visit the mansion the day after his letter arrived. Why didn’t he just bring the letter himself? I met him in the drawing room.

“Ah, hello? It’s been a while.”

Benjamin smiled awkwardly with a kind face, true to his name.

“Oh, um. Have you been well?”

“Yes. And you?”

“I’ve been fine. I got my degree, and now…”

He must be busy with heir training now that he’s back. Before his father passed, Benjamin was pursuing an academic path.

Though there had been talks in our family about adopting him to inherit the title, neither my uncle nor Benjamin had ever been approached about it. He must be overwhelmed learning the duties of a nobleman from scratch. But instead of bringing that up, Benjamin hesitated.

Seeing him struggle to start a conversation, it was clear he was aware of how harshly his father had treated us. I didn’t want to hold Benjamin accountable for my uncle’s actions, so I forced a smile.

“You’re new to the social scene, right?”

“Ah, yes. I haven’t found a partner for this season yet.”

“Really? Well, I’m attending a charity auction in a few days. Would you like to join me?”

“Really?”

Benjamin looked surprised, as if he hadn’t expected me to ask. I was surprised too. I assumed he’d understand my intentions from the moment he came to the mansion. It was well-known that Ian ignored me in social settings and that Benjamin was the easiest option for me.

“We’re cousins, and as your senior in the social scene, I should help you.”

“Thank you. And for the letter, too… Thank you, Liv.”

Thank goodness. Benjamin seemed the same awkward boy he was before studying abroad. If he had grown up to be as unpleasant as his father or as spiteful as his mother, I wouldn’t have taken him along, no matter how desperate I was for a partner.

“Uh, Liv. I have a favor to ask…”

Benjamin stammered. His reluctance made me uneasy. Could it be that my uncle squandered the Hershey family fortune and now Benjamin was here to ask for money or investment?

“…Could you come with me to pay my respects to Aunt?”

Phew, thank goodness. It seems I had a lot of unresolved feelings towards my uncle. I blamed myself for worrying unnecessarily, and as I hesitated to respond, Benjamin started to sweat again.

“You really don’t want to, do you?”

“No, I’ll talk to her first.”

“Oh, thank you. Um.”

“Do you want to stay for dinner?”

Benjamin shook his head vigorously.

“No, no. Uh, sorry, I have plans to meet some friends at the club tonight.”

“Okay. I’ll talk to Mother and send a letter.”

“Could you send it to the Canova Hotel instead of the townhouse?”

I must have looked puzzled because Benjamin quickly explained.

“My parents are at the townhouse, and I want to visit Aunt alone. Uh, I’ve been staying at the Canova Hotel since I got back. I had some business there.”

“Alright.”

He looked like he was about to start listing all his reasons and excuses, which I had no interest in hearing. As I walked Benjamin out, I suddenly remembered something and asked.

“Were you at the New Year’s Ball at the Canova?”

“…Yes.”

Benjamin nodded hesitantly. I considered asking him what people said after Ian and I left the hall but decided against it. From his expression and the way he started sweating again, I figured it was nothing good. Instead, I changed the subject with a smile.

“You should have talked to me. My partner couldn’t dance, so I missed the first dance.”

“There were too many people. I didn’t think I could fit in…”

“You still get shy around people?”

“Yeah, I guess…”

Sometimes, knowing that some things never change is reassuring. I was glad Benjamin was still the awkward young man I remembered. It made me happy that I didn’t have to resent him.

***

Contrary to my worries, Mother was happy to meet Benjamin. So, I sent him a letter to arrange the earliest possible date. I also planned to tell Mother that I’d be taking Benjamin as my partner to the cathedral’s charity auction party. On the appointed day, Benjamin arrived to pick me up, looking incredibly nervous.

“Hello?”

I asked, looking at the flowers in his hand.

“What kind of flowers are those?”

“Oh, these…”

Benjamin fumbled and hesitated, then handed them to me.

“Would you like them?”

“Weren’t they for my mother?”

“Huh? Oh… How did you know?”

“Mom loves freesias.”

“Does she still?”

“Of course.”

Instead of gaining confidence from my words, Benjamin remained anxious, even fidgeting his leg in the carriage. Eventually, I had to say something.

“Benjamin, stop shaking your leg.”

“Oh, sorry. Sorry.”

The spring charity auction at the cathedral was a significant event, attended even by royalty. Attendance wasn’t mandatory, but the church would nag you endlessly if you didn’t show up.

Officially, it was to pray for a smooth start to the year and help the people endure the difficult spring, but really, it was one of the few opportunities to collect donations from the gathered nobles in the capital.

Anyway, I needed to take Benjamin as my partner, but I worried he might embarrass himself and not act like a proper noble. Walter was a commoner and an actor, so some mistakes were understandable, but Benjamin was the heir to the Hershey family.

It would be problematic if people thought poorly of the Hershey family.

As Benjamin and I worried about different things, the carriage arrived at Mother’s townhouse. Unlike usual, she was waiting at the gate. As soon as the carriage stopped, I opened the door myself and almost jumped out.

“Mother, why are you outside in this chilly weather?”

“Liv. Accepting a gentleman’s escort is also a lady’s duty. You should act like a noblewoman, not like a child…”

“Oh, you should have waited in the parlor.”

Mother gently took my hand and moved me aside. Benjamin, who had followed me out of the carriage, approached hesitantly.

“Aunt…”

He stood there, unable to hand over the bouquet he had carefully protected. Feeling exasperated, I noticed his eyes welling up with tears and quickly dismissed the waiting servants.

“Let’s go inside, dear.”

Benjamin was led away by my mother, tears streaming down his face. It seemed that his tears had already softened her heart. Honestly, even though Benjamin is a good guy, just thinking about my uncle makes me want to hit him.