The people gathered in the hallway had all dispersed, but before he rounded the corner, Ian heard the voice of his nursemaid.

‘Perhaps she was waiting for me,’ Ian thought, and a small spark of hope filled his heart. On a day like this, he felt that nobody would say anything if he acted like a child and sought comfort in her embrace. But as he approached, the coldness in her voice stopped him in his tracks.

“Stop that now, someone might overhear us.”

“Did I say something wrong? Mother, I suspect that woman wasted holy water on purpose while His Grace was at the front lines.”

“My lady isn’t in her right mind. She’s not one to consider those things and act on them.”

“But it’s so frustrating! How can the second-most powerful family after the royal family lack a single vial of holy water? Frankly, if someone must die, shouldn’t it be her? She keeps causing scenes like she wants to die. What other duke in this world festers with an injury that could have been healed with just one vial of holy water?”

“Hush!”

Spotting Ian standing there in a daze, the nursemaid hurriedly knelt.

“Young Master.”

But the young servant—her own son—remained rigid and defiant.

“It’s all my fault for teaching him poorly. If punishment is to be given, let it fall upon me.”

The nursemaid knelt to protect her own son. For a moment, Ian felt a pang of envy for the young boy standing behind his mother, breathing heavily in anger. Without acknowledging anyone, Ian walked down the hallway, as though he’d seen nothing.

He thought he’d been wandering aimlessly, yet somehow, he found himself in front of a familiar door. Ian pushed it open without knocking. A woman with long hair turned her gaze from the window to look at him with an indifferent expression. Ian stood quietly, waiting. Finally, the silence was broken by her cold voice.

“What sort of reaction did you expect?”

“…Mother.”

“Are you here to resent me?”

“…”

“…You’re exhausting. Just like him. Just like that man.”

Ian couldn’t say a word and took a step back. He was still standing by the door, his back pressed against it. He couldn’t even understand why he’d come here in the first place. His mind went blank, void of thought.

Just then, hurried footsteps approached, and the door opened. Because he was leaning on it, Ian stumbled back, taking a few steps away. A maid, after quickly taking stock of the situation, spoke urgently.

“My Lady, His Eminence the Cardinal is on his way here.”

A long sigh escaped his mother.

“Tell him I’m asleep.”

“My Lady.”

Despite the maid’s pleading tone, his mother responded irritably.

“He didn’t come to see me anyway!”

“My Lady, even so…”

“Tell him to go die! Tell them both to die!”

“…Understood.”

Closing the door quietly behind her, the maid turned and met Ian’s eyes. Her gaze was filled with pity, yet her voice remained firm.

“You should go see His Grace, young master. He came from afar to save the Duke.”

At least he had something to do. Ian regained his composure and went to meet his great-uncle, the Cardinal.

That day, Ian’s father did not die, and instead of enrolling in the academy, Ian became his father’s servant and followed him to the battlefield. His father never left another will. Not even before he took his own life.

I cried. Even after waking from the dream, the tears continued to flow. Ian, who I thought was still asleep, gently held me and began to pat my back in silence. Through sobs, I mumbled.

“I’m sorry…”

“For what?”

“I… I promised not to look…”

Ian continued patting my back and muttered, “This is so unfair. I’m curious about your past too, you know.”

It was clearly a ploy to make me stop crying, so I stifled my sobs with a few hiccups. When I finally managed to calm down and looked up at Ian, he smiled and asked, “Done crying?”

“…Yes.”

Ian didn’t ask what my dream had been. Nor did I attempt to explain. I was afraid that recalling it might dredge up painful memories for him. Instead, Ian asked about me.

“What was Liv like as a child?”

As a child? Well, that was easy…

“A good child.”

“Everyone knows that already.”

“But it’s true…”

I was confident that I’d been a good child. I’d even prayed a lifetime of gratitude to the goddess for blessing me with good parents and vowed to be good. Looking back, a lifetime of goodness seemed unlikely now, but…

“Then, isn’t there a childhood memory that only I would know about?”

After hesitating a little, I answered.

“Well… I was poor.”

And I recalled my oldest memory.

“Even though it wasn’t a particularly impoverished time, I often went hungry, wore clothes that didn’t suit the season.”

Instead of questioning why a count’s daughter would say such things, Ian simply listened, silently absorbing my story.

“My father spent most of his earnings on gambling and alcohol, and my mother scraped by washing dishes at a restaurant. Then one day, she left too. Father said she’d run off with another man and abandoned me.”

Thanks to Ian patting my back, I felt strangely at ease as I spoke. Calmly, I continued.

“There are some parents… you’d be better off without. I wished I could be an orphan. Orphans get government aid once they’re independent, but my father held on just long enough to pass away the moment I turned eighteen. If only he’d died a little sooner.”

Perhaps this is the sort of story I’ll never be able to tell anyone.

“I’m a terrible person, aren’t I?”

Could Ian, who has lived his whole life fearing for his mother’s death, ever understand the me of a past life who wished for my father’s death?

“My relatives have been out of touch for a long time, so when my father passed away, there was no one to help. No one was there to tell me, a newly-turned adult, that I didn’t have to inherit his debts. So, I was left alone in the world, burdened with my father’s debt. And until I died, I was alone.”

It was all so long ago now that it didn’t feel sad anymore. I smiled as I spoke.

“This is a story even my parents don’t know… and now, only you do.”

Ian held me tightly.

“Thank you for telling me, Liv.”

His embrace made it hard to breathe. When I began to cough, he loosened his grip, and I gave him a sheepish grin.

“Now it’s a little fairer, isn’t it?”

But Ian didn’t laugh. I reached up to stroke his sorrowful face and confessed.

“When my father passed… I had just turned nineteen.”

Not my father from a past life, but the father who had loved me in this one, and whom I had loved dearly.

“It felt like punishment for my past life’s sins. I’d always complained in my past life, you know.”

My voice trembled as I said it.

“Why couldn’t he have died at nineteen instead of twenty?”

Ian embraced me once more, and I buried my face in his arms and sobbed, for a long, long time.

***

The fever had finally broken. I felt refreshed as I opened the window. The chill of early winter flooded in, waking Ian, who had been sleeping nearby.

“Liv?”

“I think my fever’s gone, Ian.”

“Really?”

Ian approached with a relieved expression, his hand naturally brushing from my forehead down to my cheek and the back of my neck. Confirming I was fever-free, he smiled in relief.

“That’s a relief.”

“I’m hungry.”

Though dawn had yet to break, snacks were always kept in the room just in case I woke. As I ate, I decided I’d thank the kitchen staff first thing in the morning for all their hard work.

The head cook, an elderly man, seemed quite startled to see Ian and me together. When I thanked him, he made no reply. I figured he was just reserved, but Jane later clued me in.

“The head cook cried.”

“What? Why?”

Glancing at Ian, Jane leaned in and whispered in my ear.

“He’s worked in this household for fifty years, and it’s the first time he’s been thanked.”

Oh my. Only then did I realize the head cook was one of the few long-standing members who had not been replaced in this mansion.

“There’s trouble. Now that the mistress has been bedridden for so long, the head cook is planning a full month of nourishing meals for your recovery. He might be disappointed if you end up traveling instead.”

“Oh no! But I wasn’t even that sick, and I’m perfectly healthy now…”

“The kitchen is practically in a festive mood. The mistress has finally awakened and even had a successful awakening. Everyone’s expecting the master to host some kind of celebration.”

“Come to think of it, this estate hasn’t had any sort of celebration in a long time…”

Ian, pretending not to listen, turned and said, “…Don’t tell me you’re thinking of not traveling now?”

Uh-oh. I forced a vague smile. Ian had been eagerly awaiting my recovery. He’d been looking forward to our trip to Laran, but now I wasn’t so sure.

Next, I visited the laundry, where they’d labored over my sweat-drenched sheets. The staff jumped in surprise.

“My Lady, coming to a place like this…”

“Oh, I’ve always wanted to see the laundry. Only a big castle like this even has one, after all.”

The people looked so intimidated that I made a conscious effort to lighten the mood. Each thank-you seemed to be a great honor to them, which embarrassed me. Apparently, I was the first mistress in 150 years to visit the laundry since the castle was built.

“Wow, living in a 150-year-old castle. I feel like a queen.”

Ian said nothing. I hadn’t noticed his expression as I continued naming the parts of the castle I hadn’t seen while I was unwell. The place I wanted to visit most…

“Ian, Ian. I want to see the hunting grounds too.”

Ian had loved hunting as a child, so maybe I’d find traces of him there. There was no sign of any child having ever lived inside the castle itself, so I looked at him eagerly. But for some reason, he looked displeased.

“Liv. Are we really not going on that trip?”

“We’re on one right now—the Keppel mansion exploration trip.”

He sulked. Oh wow, even Ian Keppel can sulk! I found myself staring at his new expression with starry-eyed fascination.

“How can someone look this handsome even while sulking?”

Oops. That just slipped out. Ian pursed his lips, then turned away and muttered, “Fine, let’s go to the hunting grounds.”

Ecstatic, I linked my arm with his and whispered softly.

“As nice as traveling is, we couldn’t do this in the carriage.”

Ian hesitated briefly, then covered his face with his free hand. Oh! He’s blushing. His ears are bright red. I felt a surge of excitement each time I discovered a new expression from him. Though he was clearly flustered, he didn’t bring up traveling again. That winter, we decided to stay in the Keppel family’s old castle. But in truth, our journey had already begun.

~~End of the Side Story~~

TL NOTE: Thanks for reading this beautiful story. I hope you enjoyed your whole reading journey with these wonderful characters.