Chapter 4.4

Loving someone was a feeling Andrea was all too familiar with. Her entire life had been marked by unrequited love.

Andrea loved her mother, who often forgot her name. She loved the nameless wildflowers that bloomed in barren alleyways. She loved the neighbor lady who sometimes braided her hair, the carpenter’s dog, and the boy who once handed her a clean handkerchief.

But receiving someone’s affection was an entirely foreign experience for Andrea. None of the people she had loved ever gave her anything in return. Though Michael’s words left her heart bruised, she couldn’t understand why she felt so endlessly disappointed.

Sensing Andrea’s turmoil, Maria suddenly stood and approached her. She gently placed a hand on Andrea’s shoulder and said,

“No, no, My Lady. That’s not strange at all.”

“…”

“It just means you love him very much.”

Andrea leaned against Maria’s shoulder, nodding slightly. She bit her lip, swallowing the unfamiliar emotions that kept welling up inside her.

“Still, I don’t expect anything. Of course not. After all, he’s…”

After a brief hesitation, Andrea murmured softly,

“He’s him, and I’m me.”

At Andrea’s words, Maria spoke up indignantly.

“What’s wrong with you, My Lady? You’re beautiful, kind-hearted, and the only daughter of the Marquis of Heathridge.”

“But…”

“Don’t listen to what people say. What crime have you committed, Young Lady? You’ve done nothing wrong, and there’s no need for you to feel ashamed.”

Maria spoke firmly as she brushed Andrea’s hair over her shoulder.

“No matter what anyone says, you are the sole bloodline of Heathridge. No one in the Empire can treat you carelessly. Not even him…”

Andrea let out a small laugh.

“Young Lady, I just want you to be happy.”

Maria clasped Andrea’s hands tightly and looked her in the eye.

“Whether it’s him, Earl Byron, or someone else entirely… I hope you meet a man who cherishes you. Someone who sees you for who you truly are.”

“…”

“I know it’s not something that always works out as we wish, but…”

“Thank you, Maria.”

“And if it really comes to it, you could just say to hell with it and run away!”

“Run away?”

Andrea burst into an innocent laugh at Maria’s words. But Maria, not entirely joking, began to chatter about a nameless young lady who had fallen in love with a stable keeper and eloped to a faraway place. Listening to Maria’s excited chatter, Andrea felt the heavy weight in her heart lift slightly.

‘Someone who cherishes me. Someone who sees me for who I am.’

Did such a person truly exist?

Andrea leaned on Maria’s shoulder, lost in thought. Her conclusion? Perhaps not. But at the very least, she knew Michael was not that kind of person.

“Do we really need to set an end to this? I don’t think this kind of relationship is bad.”

Michael’s awkwardly smiling face as he spoke those words flickered before her eyes. Though he had euphemistically described it as “this kind of relationship,” in the end, it was merely a relationship where they met in secret and shared physical intimacy. They kissed like lovers in love, exchanged lighthearted jokes, and laughed together, but they were never truly lovers. The line he had drawn for her stopped there.

When he said that the decision to end the relationship was hers, it meant that Andrea was the only one clinging to it. It was a bond that would end as soon as she let go, a connection that would only continue if she made the effort. Andrea always felt a deep loneliness in Michael’s arms.

The end. The final moment.

Andrea slowly chewed over the short word and clenched her fists tightly, as if she were holding the thread of their connection in her hands.

The answer was clear. She had to let go of that thread before it was too late. Before her love turned ugly, before even the good memories faded.

‘I’ll end it. But…’

Just for a little while longer. Until the Marquis returned from his estate. For the short time that life’s choices remained in my hands, I would love him just a little longer.

Andrea slowly relaxed her grip. A cool breeze swept over her empty palm.

‘I mustn’t leave even a trace of regret.’

* * *

Why was His Highness the Crown Prince acting like this?

For the past few days, Michael’s condition had noticeably worsened. The ever-present relaxed smile on his lips had hardened like stone, and the jokes that used to melt the icy atmosphere like spring had vanished. The aura emanating from him was so ominous that it seemed as though a dark cloud hung solely over his head.

Michael himself wanted to know the answer. Of course, he was aware that Andrea was at the center of his turmoil.

“So, it ends when I want it to.”

“…”

“You’ll stay by my side if I wish.”

Her voice, calm yet unable to hide its trembling, had lingered in his ears for days. Even though it was a situation entirely of his own making.

That day, Andrea had not declared an end to their relationship. She had chosen to stay by his side, and their meetings would continue as they always had. There was no reason for him to feel uneasy, and yet, for some reason, his chest felt unbearably heavy.

“I’ll call it a day here. I just can’t seem to focus.”

“Ha, that’s not like you, Your Highness.”

“Enjoy yourselves.”

Even the social gathering he had attended in hopes of clearing his mind brought him no joy. After losing track of the game several times while lost in thought, he eventually left the table and slumped onto a couch in a secluded corner.

Sigh.

Michael glanced at the young nobles laughing and chatting loudly, then let out a deep sigh. Though he hadn’t done much, fatigue weighed heavily on him. Even the rare and expensive liquor and the faint scent of cigars failed to lift his spirits today.

‘Is it too early to leave?’

Michael squinted at the clock. Though it felt like half a day had passed, the hour hand had barely moved. Deciding it would be rude to leave so soon, he sank further into the sofa.

As he searched for something to distract himself, his eyes landed on the membership register for the gathering. As a highly exclusive salon requiring strict vetting, every attendee’s name was meticulously recorded at each meeting.

Page by page, he flipped through the familiar names. It seemed every prominent family in the Empire was represented.

Then.

‘Frederick Byron.’

A name scribbled in the corner caught Michael’s attention. He wasn’t personally acquainted with the man, but he was certain he had heard the name somewhere before. Frowning slightly, he muttered under his breath.

“…Byron?”

At that moment, a deep voice spoke above him.

“Why are you asking about Earl Byron, Your Highness?”

“Oh, Lord Charles.”

“It’s been a while, Your Highness.”

A group approached Michael to greet him. Assuming he was curious about Earl Byron, they began exchanging comments among themselves.

“Didn’t he visit quite often until a few years ago? Come to think of it, I haven’t seen him around lately.”

“I heard he’s been spending time with the Marquis of Heathridge these days.”

“Is it for business?”

“More likely for marriage. For Marquis’s Young Lady, I mean.”

At the mention of Andrea, Michael’s eyes gleamed sharply. Now he remembered where he had heard the name—it was the man the Marquis of Heathridge had considered as a potential son-in-law.

‘I knew I didn’t like the sound of that name.’

Michael bit the inside of his cheek and frowned. Although he knew Andrea and Byron weren’t directly connected, it still bothered him.

The men’s conversation didn’t stop there.

“Oh, right. Didn’t that young lady have a marriage proposal with Baron Mayfield before? I remember hearing about it.”

“They say he frequented the Marquis’s Estate for a while. But it looks like he didn’t fully win the Marquis’s favor.”

“Well, Heathridge is one of the wealthiest families in the Empire. Mayfield can’t really compare.”

The men chuckled as they gossiped about past rumors, their expressions devoid of seriousness. Michael’s grip on the corner of the register tightened. His insides churned.

“Still, the Byron family is a decent match. I hear they own eight large merchant ships.”

“They made quite a profit last year, didn’t they? Something about opening a new trade route.”

Their conversation shifted to the Byron family’s finances. How much they had earned last year. How this year might not be as lucrative. How the wine from the Byron Estate was excellent. How it was fortunate, given the Marquis’s well-known love of wine.

Listening to their idle chatter, Michael slammed the register shut. His stomach twisted.

‘I can’t listen to this any longer.’

Just as he was about to rise without hesitation, he froze.

“A union between Byron and Heathridge… If it happens, it’ll be remarkable.”

“Indeed. Though it’s a shame the Earl isn’t marrying for the first time, the Marquis’s Young Lady isn’t without her flaws either.”

…What?

Michael’s body stiffened. Halfway up, he sank back into his seat, straining to catch the rest of their conversation.

“Oh, he’s not marrying for the first time? Why don’t I remember that?”

“He’s been widowed for a few years now. My brother, who’s close to the Earl, mentioned it. Apparently, his wife was the second daughter of some noble family… They didn’t make much of a fuss about the wedding.”

“What happened to her?”

“I’m not sure. Illness? An accident?”

The man scratched his head, trying to recall.

“Still, they say he was quite the devoted husband. He cherished his wife deeply.”

Michael, who had been measuring up the man named Frederick Byron with a sharp gaze, suddenly froze. 

On what grounds was I even contemplating this? If I deemed the man an unsuitable match, was I planning to personally step in and separate them? Was I going to cling to Andrea and plead with her that the man was no good? And if, by chance, the man truly turned out to be a good match…

‘Would that bring me some peace of mind?’

Andrea’s radiant smile flickered before Michael’s eyes like an illusion.