Chapter 4

The place she was taken to, as if being dragged by Madame Rasiche, was the dining room inside the mansion.

There, from early in the morning, dozens of dishes were laid out in abundance.

The lace tablecloth on the long table was almost invisible. But that wasn’t the important part.

There was only one chair at the table, placed in the center. It meant this was a dining area enjoyed solely by Madame Rasiche.

Why call me if I wasn’t even going to be given a meal?

Madame Rasiche sat in the chair quickly pulled out by a waiting maid, with a smile more refreshing than the morning sunlight.

While she leisurely prepared to have breakfast, Elina stood a few steps back.

Perhaps because she hadn’t eaten breakfast, her mouth watered for no reason.

The head chef of Valois brought a large tray, carefully placing the hot dish in front of Madame Rasiche.

Today’s main dish was lobster topped with bright yellow cheese.

It was probably thoroughly basted with butter and grilled.

Coincidentally, today’s breakfast for Madame Rasiche was a menu Elina had enjoyed until two years ago.

Whether she knew this or not was uncertain.

A constant smile appeared on Madame Rasiche’s face as she savored the tender lobster meat.

So what was I supposed to do about it?

Whether or not Madame Rasiche intended today’s breakfast, Elina tried not to think about it.

Was I supposed to envy her for eating dry bread and lukewarm soup?

Having watched her closely from the age of seven to her current age of nineteen, Elina still couldn’t understand her.

All she knew was that Madame Rasiche was not someone to be underestimated.

Elina slowly took steps away from the table full of food.

To be honest, she really wanted to eat the lobster with cheese that Madame Rasiche was having.

But the greasy smell of cheese made her stomach churn, forcing her to keep a distance from the food.

Until a few months ago, standing like this would have earned her an extra dish.

Elina tightly closed her eyes and opened them wide. She couldn’t give in to the cheese lobster.

“Where are you going, Elina?”

Madame Rasiche swiftly pulled Elina, who was a few steps away.

At the entrance of the dining room, a lobster with cheese, similar to what Madame Rasiche was eating, was being brought in.

“I thought you liked this dish. Shall we eat together?”

Elina looked back and forth between the approaching lobster and Madame Rasiche.

Eating the lobster here would mean taking a step back in their increasingly subtle relationship since that incident.

“Me? I usually don’t have breakfast.”

“Food is just food.”

Madame Rasiche wiggled her eyebrows.

Since her intentions were discovered by Elina two years ago, she had been subtly undermining Elina in front of many maids and servants.

The maids gathered in the dining room glanced at Elina with side eyes, wondering if they had to fetch another chair because of her.

“Well, the meal is… hmm.”

Elina reluctantly picked up a piece of lobster from the tray that had come right in front of her and slowly brought it to her lips.

And then, overwhelmed by a sudden wave of nausea, she covered her mouth as if she was about to spit something out.

Why was I suddenly being given decent food, only for it to turn out not to be proper food?

Elina stopped twirling the cheese on the lobster with her fork and left the dining room.

The cheese, sizzling and melted, looked delicious, but she regretted not being able to eat it.

Even away from the food, her stomach still churned, and only after retching several times was she able to re-enter the dining room.

As soon as she opened the dining room door, many eyes were fixed on Elina.

Elina lifted the corners of her mouth as if nothing had happened and walked to where she should be beside Madame Rasiche.

“I suddenly have a headache. When I have a headache, I feel like vomiting….”

Elina quickly answered before Madame Rasiche could delve deeper. She didn’t know what was happening herself but felt she shouldn’t speak of it.

“Really? I thought you might be pregnant.”

Madame Rasiche, who had finished her meal and was drinking tea, spoke sharp words that didn’t match her playful tone.

The lobster with cheese she encountered again upon entering didn’t look much different from what she often saw. Madame Rasiche wasn’t the type to play pranks with food.

Though she had once poured milk tea over someone’s head….

“I haven’t been sleeping well lately. I feel like that when I’m tired.”

Elina fabricated a calm story, raising the corners of her mouth, contrary to what she felt earlier.

Whatever today’s incident meant, she couldn’t let her know.

After exchanging a few meaningless pleasantries, Madame Rasiche called a maid to brew new tea, as her cup was empty.

And she looked at Elina, who stood in one place.

“Oh, and Magnolia Hall in the mansion is dirty. There are precious things there, so I can’t have the maids clean it….”

“So?”

Clink.

The sound of the empty teacup and small plate clinking was unusually loud. The person who had been telling her to rest well just moments ago….

Knowing what would come next, Elina suppressed a smile.

“I’m asking you.”

Madame Rasiche spoke in an elegant tone, her eyes prettily curved.

Ah. Today it’s Magnolia.

It had been three months since Magnolia Hall, located in the north of the mansion, was last cleaned.

“You are indeed kind, Madame.”

She could only assign tasks that wouldn’t result in losing her guardian status. Elina, as the ward, had no grounds to refuse such tasks.

Even after becoming an adult, she had to remain under the guardian’s protection for a year, according to imperial law.

Should I be grateful that, unlike other households, violence wasn’t used?

Elina openly stared at the maids gathered behind Madame Rasiche. 

How many people in this mansion treated me as a lady?

Her green eyes, like the deep summer foliage, shifted around.

***

Elina stopped by the attic to fetch an apron to protect her dress from getting dirty.

And as soon as she opened the door, she lightly opened the plain wooden wardrobe visible inside.

The wardrobe, which looked small from the outside, was indeed small. As a result, there weren’t many clothes hanging inside.

A few light indoor dresses she wore often, several aprons, a few pajamas, and a hooded robe.

An incongruously placed silk dress.

It was the dress she wore when she met Floi.

Though she had closed the door when she entered, she checked again just in case and then sat on the small bed where she had slept until morning.

It would take a long time to tie the apron over her dress.

The maids Madame Rasiche had stationed outside were there, but she didn’t feel sorry.

Standing for a bit longer wouldn’t harm them.

They weren’t there to help Elina but to monitor if she was doing as Madame Rasiche instructed.

Now, left alone in her space, Elina exhaled deeply and picked up the desk calendar she had left next to the bed.

It was mid-August today… when was the last time?

Elina’s expression darkened as she flipped through the calendar.

Then she carelessly placed the calendar on the bed and began counting numbers on her fingers.

She repeated opening and closing her ten fingers several times, then let out a short sigh.

She hadn’t exactly ignored the possibility until now….

“Am I pregnant…?”

It had been well over a month since her last period.

Her cycle was irregular, and Madame Rasiche had kept her busy with various tasks, depriving her of sleep, so she thought it was just that.

She had been rationalizing it as a needless worry, but something felt off.

Elina mercilessly raked her neatly tied brown hair.

With no period, sleeping whenever she had free time, and feeling nauseous at the sight of food, how could she explain this?

“About that day, contraception….”

She hadn’t done it properly.

In the heat of the moment, she hadn’t thought of such things.

That day, without the mental capacity to prepare, she met a stranger who seemed in a situation similar to hers, and in her drunken state, she desperately pleaded for love.

Feeling too sad that no one loved her, all she could see was someone to love her.

Returning to the mansion, she had taken a contraceptive pill, albeit less effective, and had been reassured for a while, but if that pill hadn’t worked properly….

“Though the pill isn’t foolproof. Ah….”

Should I visit a doctor immediately to confirm? 

As she pondered this and that, her head throbbed.

If she was indeed pregnant, there was no other father for the child.

Elina nervously fiddled with the waist ribbon of the apron she had taken from the wardrobe and stood up.

Then she walked to a small dresser on one side of the attic.

When she opened the first drawer, a crumpled piece of paper, handled countless times a day, popped out.

An unknown address composed of long numbers. The only link to the man named Floi.

Elina pressed her forehead deeply with one hand.

No. There was no need to despair yet.

A child couldn’t be conceived so easily. It was just one night.

She picked up the apron sprawled across the bed, tied it around her waist, and put the piece of paper she had seen countless times back in the drawer.

It had been just one, just one moment of deviation while enduring in this mansion, and it couldn’t be this way for her.

If she was truly pregnant, the world had abandoned her. Wasn’t that too harsh a consequence for that one time?

Perhaps if she visited a doctor, they would say it was overwork. It had to be. It must be.

Elina silently tied the apron’s ribbon. Then her grip on the ribbon loosened.

If she were pregnant, who would take responsibility for this child?