Chapter 7

“Ha….”

Elina could barely open her eyes when the warm morning sunlight began to stream through the window.

It was much later than usual.

Determined to pull herself together, she sat up abruptly, her body trembling all over. Her breath came out in rough gasps. It was very difficult.

The fact that there was no one in this world to care for her was unbearably sad.

“My stomach hurts….”

Elina murmured a sound akin to a groan and wiped the sweat beading on her forehead.

Her stomach had been aching since last night and it was still the same now.

She gently stroked her belly, which she couldn’t feel anything from yet.

After what happened with Reynard last night, she had returned, cried, vomited, and eventually fell asleep from exhaustion.

She hadn’t eaten dinner again and had thrown up everything she ate the night before, so it was no wonder she felt sick.

Elina picked up the pocket watch within reach from her bed and checked the time, carefully rising from her seat.

“Ouch!”

As soon as she stood up holding the bed head, her head spun, and she collapsed beside the bed.

Her condition was worse than she thought.

If she had known, she wouldn’t have cried yesterday. She should have eaten dinner after vomiting. The increasingly demanding workload and her clearly pregnant body.

What should I do?

There was no clear answer. No, there couldn’t be.

“What should I do….”

The fever and weakness were secondary; her lower abdomen hurt too much.

It felt like someone was poking her with a blunt needle. She wished it were menstrual cramps, but what was inside her belly was undoubtedly a child.

A human life. A life that no one wanted.

“Maybe I should secretly see a doctor….”

Elina looked out the small window and then tightly closed her eyes and opened them again. It was impossible. She couldn’t leave the mansion without Madame Rasiche’s permission.

Originally, she planned to wait until she was sent on an errand in a few days to meet a doctor, but she didn’t have the luxury now.

Even if it wasn’t because of the child, anyone would call a doctor seeing her current condition. And during the diagnosis, the doctor would find out about the pregnancy.

Then… that can’t happen.

The child could be in danger. No, it can’t.

As Elina’s green eyes shook aimlessly, a knock sounded from outside the door. The person didn’t reveal who they were, only leaving a single message.

“Young lady, come down to the dining room.”

A thunderbolt of a statement.

Whether the maid outside knew it or not, she walked away with lively footsteps. Elina had thought this many times while staying in the mansion, but today it struck her more.

She envied that maid so much.

She envied the maid who hadn’t caused any trouble like she had….

She felt like crying out of frustration. But Elina tried hard not to cry.

She knew all too well that crying wouldn’t solve anything.

“Why today of all days!”

Madame Rasiche occasionally invited her to have breakfast together. Of course, it wasn’t meant in a good way.

She would notify them arbitrarily without asking the person’s opinion.

It was a place where, while sharing a lavish meal, Madame Rasiche would sharply criticize Elina, who managed the mansion’s chores.

“Annoying….”

Just a few weeks ago, she would have meekly gone down thinking, ‘Is that so?’

She would have heard some unpleasant remarks, but at least she could enjoy a delicious breakfast, so it wasn’t all bad.

But not today.

After what happened yesterday, even seeing Madame Rasiche’s son, Reynard, was very uncomfortable for her.

And her physical condition wasn’t good either.

“It’s creepy. Oh, mom and dad….”

Lately, she often sought her late mom and dad. She missed them so much.

Mom, dad. Even though I’m a bad daughter, could you help me just this once?

Please….

Elina carefully, very carefully, rose and stood in front of the dressing table next to the bed.

The dressing table had the largest mirror in this small attic.

She had expected it, but her face looked worse than she thought, and Elina held her pale cheeks with both hands.

“Now, what kind of person am I….”

Unfortunately, there was no time to lament her current state. Elina quickly washed up and dressed in a gown.

Then she moved her steps, gazing at herself in the mirror for a long time.

Even though she had just woken up, her face was not just white but pale. As she rummaged through the small drawers, a powder she was looking for popped out.

A powder she hadn’t used much, still full.

Madame Rasiche had specially procured apricot-colored powder for Elina, whose skin was naturally white.

She had received it as a gift two years ago and had forgotten it even existed, but now it was being used like this.

Elina went straight to the dressing table and rubbed the powder onto her face. Normally, a noble young lady would have a maid do this, but Elina didn’t have that luxury.

She had precious powder but couldn’t use a maid.

Her hands were clumsy at applying it, but her pale skin gradually changed to look lively and bright.

She managed to cover her skin tone, but there was nothing she could do about her colorless lips.

As she searched her memory, she didn’t recall ever receiving rouge as a gift, so Elina pressed her lips firmly with her teeth, hoping they would redden.

“I still don’t look like a person.”

Finally, she tried to hide her sickly appearance by twisting her long olive-colored hair here and there.

After spending a few minutes struggling, staring at the dressing table mirror, her legs went numb. Her belly, where a child might be, felt the same.

“You have to be calm in a little while.”

Elina slightly lowered her gaze and murmured, not knowing to whom.

How did I end up doing such a foolish thing?

She lamented her situation.

As she opened the drawer to put the used powder back, a crumpled piece of paper fell fluttering to the floor.

“Child….”

After a moment of hesitation, Elina picked up the note that had fallen to the floor and put it back in the drawer, closing it with a bang.

“Does your dad even imagine you exist?”

I hope your dad helps me too. So that I won’t be caught pregnant with you….

Then she found herself muttering alone, which felt strange, and she let out a hollow laugh. One hand was wrapped around her belly, where the child was.

Had I already formed an attachment?

Knowing she was pregnant had indeed provided a small comfort in her solitary life at the mansion.

I’m not alone. And that night, there really was something left after all.

Ah. Elina briefly corrected her scattered thoughts.

It was just a small comfort.

A small comfort that could be filled by eating delicious food and such.

The treatment of illegitimate children in the empire was really poor. And also for children without fathers.

No, no. There is another way. I can reclaim Valois and then marry him.

The Koseli Empire had a strict class system, but she could marry anyone even if the other person was a lower-class noble. Of course, he would have a hard time being called Cinderella….

“Then this child…”

Could I give birth?

Elina’s eyes, filled with green shades, rolled around.

I don’t know. 

She couldn’t deny she was growing attached to the child. But.

She didn’t have the luxury.

***

Her steps toward the dining room were heavy.

It wasn’t just her mood. Another life was nestled inside her belly.

Elina greeted Madame Rasiche and Reynard, who were already in the dining room, with composure.

Careful not to show any signs different from usual.

Gathered like this, they looked quite like a family.

Very much like a family.

Even though what happened just yesterday, Reynard’s face showed no discomfort as he sat at the dining table.

Yes. I’m the only one who feels awkward. It was just a joke to you.

Seeing them like this made her feel nauseous as a fellow human.

If she were alone, she could have endured last night’s events.

Maybe it was because she was pregnant; she couldn’t control her emotions. Her head, which had cried all night, still throbbed painfully.

“Good morning.”

Elina forced her lips into a smile. Although she had applied powder, she couldn’t hide the glow of her face.

And because she was pregnant, she couldn’t even take medicine.

She thought she had to take specific medicine, but all she had in her room were ignorantly effective ones.

“Yes. Good morning. But Elina, you don’t look well.”

“I don’t know about that. She’s always just pretty.”

Reynard, who had been idly fiddling with his utensils, spoke up.

Madame Rasiche raised her eyebrows slightly at her son’s indifferent reaction and added.

“Didn’t you even put powder on your face? How bad must you be?”

Elina was already breathless from Madame Rasiche’s sharp voice, casually thrown out.

She knew it would be hard to deceive Madame Rasiche’s keen eye.

“Elina, what are you doing? Aren’t you going to sit down? Mother and I are waiting.”

“Should I call a doctor before breakfast? Oh, you disappeared while cleaning yesterday….”

“No!”

Seeing Reynard watching the situation with a smile made her feel nauseous again.

Hold on. If I show any more strange behavior, Madame Rasiche will immediately call a doctor. Then she’ll find out I’m pregnant.

Elina took a deep breath inwardly and went to sit in her designated seat.

Once everyone gathered for breakfast, as if they had been waiting, glossy food flowed in endlessly from outside.

Breakfast with Elina was always particularly elaborate.

They piled delicious food on the table and criticized Elina without giving her a chance to eat.

“Let’s eat. Enjoy.”

With Madame Rasiche’s elegant voice, the luxurious breakfast began. Elina picked up the fork and knife in each hand a beat late.

She already felt like she would get indigestion.