Chapter 3 (Part 4)

About a week had passed.  

Ian found himself unconsciously staring at Cecilia before quickly averting his gaze. Despite his efforts to avoid thinking about her, it was harder than he expected.  

Even though many young ladies wandered around the temple, his eyes kept drifting to her for some reason.  

He thought he knew the reason but wanted to deny it. He had to stay vigilant to forget the memories of that day, which kept resurfacing.  

Please, let nothing happen today….  

Recently, Ian’s body had become increasingly sensitive. At night, he occasionally found himself aroused, and now it was starting to happen even in the chapel.  

It felt as though the desires he had suppressed were gradually bubbling to the surface.  

Fortunately, it only happened after all the prayers were over and the worshippers had left the chapel, so he could hide it. But he wasn’t sure how much longer he could keep it hidden.

The method to suppress it remained the same. Pinching his thigh or inflicting pain on other parts of his body through masochistic actions was the only way to barely subdue it. However, it was troublesome because it took some time to calm down.  

Because of this, he should have felt resentment toward the woman who had corrupted him, but strangely, he didn’t.  

It was because he thought that the solution to his insomnia might lie in her hands. That was probably why she kept lingering in his mind.  

Before Cecilia’s touch, he had believed himself to be a man devoid of s*xual desire. But after experiencing that new sensation, his body had begun to change.  

It was as though desires he couldn’t suppress by himself were now flowing out of him.  

And every time it happened, he was able to sleep. Even if it was only for five minutes, those moments of shallow sleep were precious to Ian, who had only ever taken short naps.  

As this cycle repeated, Ian realized something. His insomnia wasn’t temporarily alleviated by his environment; it had been momentarily cured by the dazzling touch of that woman, which had awakened something dormant within him.  

Perhaps suppressing his instincts had led to his insomnia.  

To confirm his theory, he needed the help of Viscount Bucklew’s young lady, but for some reason, he felt he shouldn’t get involved with her again.  

Perhaps his insomnia was a punishment from God. And enduring a divine punishment was the duty of God’s representative.  

However, since he could enjoy sweet sleep, even if only briefly, after an *rection, Ian was plunged into turmoil.  

On nights when his lower body didn’t respond, he was forced to endure the agony of sleeplessness, and his patience was beginning to reach its limit.  

Why would God give me such a trial?  

At times, he even resented God. If it were a trial he could endure, he would overcome it, but the unending suffering was gradually eroding his will to persevere. Or perhaps he had become addicted to the sweetness of sleep.  

Ian could no longer endure it. He had thought himself to be a man of strong will, but that was no longer the case. He desperately wanted to be freed from this pain.  

But since he couldn’t ask Cecilia for help, there was only one option left: m*sturbation.  

Should I just close my eyes and try it?  

After finishing his daily schedule and returning to the Priest’s quarters, Ian opened his hands and stared at them.  

A priest indulging in self-pleasure….  

It was unthinkable. Madness. An utterly blasphemous act. He scolded himself over and over, but it was no use.  

In truth, he wanted to experience once more the thrill that sent shivers through his entire body, and that was why he was considering this absurd act.  

No matter how much he tried to forget, the intense sensation lingered in his mind, leaving his thoughts in disarray. He thought it might be worth trying at least once, even if it was far from a sacred act.  

“All right, this will be the first and last time.”  

Having made up his mind, Ian sat on the sofa with a determined expression. Then, he loosened his trousers and carefully pulled out the object hidden within.  

“Hah…”  

He let out a deep sigh as he looked at the object that had already been corrupted by a woman’s hand.  

He had thought he would never use it until the day he died, so how had he ended up on this path of corruption?  

Looking at his p*nis, he suddenly felt resentful toward Cecilia. If she hadn’t touched him that day, none of this would have happened.  

He also hated how the sinful woman kept circling in his mind.  

Why should he think about a shameless woman who tried to steal a man engaged to her sister? Or rather, a woman who now seemed to be approaching him with impure intentions?  

Even from their brief interaction, he could tell what kind of person she was. Especially when he recalled her extraordinary hand movements, he knew she was someone he should avoid.  

But no matter how hard he tried to erase her from his mind, he couldn’t. He didn’t have the confidence to touch himself without thinking of her.  

Well, there’s no choice.  

“I’m sorry.”  

Ian offered a short prayer to God before carefully wrapping his hand around himself. It felt slightly different from when the young lady had touched him, but he had to make it stand on his own somehow.  

He began stroking himself slowly. Since it was his first time doing such a thing, he was clumsy, but he diligently explored himself.  

Damn it.  

When he tried to mimic her actions, the reaction was completely different. It felt slick just a moment ago, but now, no matter how much he rubbed, it was only smooth.  

Usually, it would rise on its own just from encountering Viscount Bucklew’s young lady.  

“Why won’t it…?”  

Was it because her touch was different?  

Thinking back, it seemed that her hand movements had been exceptional. So soft and firm that it didn’t feel like a human touch….  

It was as though he had briefly dipped his foot into heaven.  

“How did she do it back then?”  

To make himself stand, he needed to recall the sensation from that time. It seemed that his clumsy movements weren’t enough to stimulate himself.  

Ian began moving his hand again. As he roughly imitated the young lady’s hand movements, he felt his body heat up slightly.  

Just a little more. Just a little more….  

It might take some time, but if he kept rubbing like this, he thought he might eventually recapture that sensation.  

Ian’s strokes grew more daring. Before he knew it, he was gripping his hardened member, moving his hand up and down, feeling the faint pleasure rising.  

He still had a long way to go, but if he continued like this, he thought he might discover something indescribable. Just as he was about to surrender himself to the rising sensation, his door suddenly burst open.  

What the—!  

Startled, Ian froze and turned his gaze toward the door. There, standing outside with wide eyes, was Cecilia.  

“Why are you here, Young Lady Bucklew?”  

Why now, of all times!  

Overwhelmed by the fact that the person he least wanted to see had caught him in the act, Ian forgot to even cover himself.  

***

A few minutes before Ian began m*sturbating.  

Just as Cecilia was about to go to bed, she heard a knock at her door.  

Knock, knock. The loud sound of knocking echoed from outside.  

“Come out quickly.”  

The knocking didn’t seem like it would stop until she opened the door, so Cecilia got up and walked toward it.  

“What’s going on?”  

Cautiously opening the door, she saw the face of the young lady standing outside. It was Lady Pirus, whose laundry Cecilia had been doing. Since taking care of her laundry, there had been no further bullying, so this was the first time Lady Pirus had come to her so late at night.  

“You’re the one who washed my temple garments today, right?”  

“Yes.”  

“What’s this about? When I looked at them to put them away, I found they were damaged.”  

“That can’t be.”  

Cecilia had washed Lady Pirus’s garments thoroughly, dried them, and neatly folded them in front of her room. There was no way they could have been damaged.  

“See for yourself before you deny it!”  

Lady Pirus suddenly threw the garments, and as they fell over Cecilia’s head, she picked them up and examined their condition.  

“What? Why is it like this?”  

Seeing the tattered garments, Cecilia’s eyes widened. They had been perfectly fine when she washed and dried them—there was no way they could have torn like this.  

“Were you that unhappy about doing my laundry? My goodness. You should have said so earlier. Then I wouldn’t have asked you.”

She had forced someone to do something they didn’t want to do and then suddenly acted kind, which seemed suspicious.  

“Would you really not have made me do it?”  

“I did not know you would’ve done this!”  

Before Cecilia could say anything, Lady Pirus suddenly picked up a bucket from the floor and poured it over Cecilia’s head.