Chapter 3 (Part 6)

Cecilia didn’t know where to look. She turned her head, her gaze dropping hastily.  

Although Ian had adjusted his pants, the bulge between his legs was still prominent, making it impossible for her to look in his direction. She wished he would cover himself with his long Priest’s robe, but he didn’t seem inclined to do so.  

“S-sorry. I’ll leave now.”  

Having figured out the situation, Cecilia quickly reached for the doorknob.  

“Ah, no. Wait a moment….”  

Ian stopped her. The hand he had extended toward her awkwardly recoiled in mid-air.  

“Yes? Is there something else you wanted to say to me?”  

Holding the doorknob, Cecilia turned her head slightly. Ian, who had called out to her, hesitated, as if unsure of what to say.  

What does he want to say now?  

Cecilia’s eyes narrowed. While it would have been better to just let her go, the fact that he had stopped her likely meant he wanted to ensure her silence.  

“I’ll pretend I didn’t see anything….”  

“W-why are you wet?”  

They spoke at the same time, but Cecilia stopped mid-sentence when Ian’s unexpected question caught her off guard.  

“Oh, well….”  

Since they weren’t close, she felt awkward explaining that she had been bullied. She didn’t know how to respond.  

“You were bullied, weren’t you?”  

But Ian seemed to have already figured it out.  

“Oh, you noticed?”  

“You wouldn’t have poured cold water over yourself at this hour. You’re not here to ask me to warm you up, are you?”  

Cecilia had already explained why she had come into his room by mistake, so she couldn’t understand why he was suddenly saying such strange things.  

His sudden nonsensical remarks made him seem odd.  

“Has someone said that to you before?”  

There was a hint of irritation in Cecilia’s voice.  

“Yes. I’ve heard the phrase ‘I’m too hot, please cool me down’ dozens of times.”  

It was obvious that women had made such suggestive remarks during confession. But Cecilia felt wronged.  

Wasn’t it Ian who had stopped her from leaving after she had accidentally come into his room? And now he was looking at her with disdain?  

Though she was dumbfounded, Cecilia maintained her composure and asked Ian calmly,  

“You were the one who stopped me. What is it that you want to say?”  

“…”  

Ian didn’t answer, and an awkward silence fell between them again. Eventually, he sighed, hesitated for a moment, and finally spoke.  

“Don’t misunderstand me. This is the first time.”  

“Pardon?”  

Cecilia was dumbfounded by Ian’s sudden, irrelevant clarification. 

Had he lost his mind after being caught m*sturbating?  

“This is the first time I’ve done something so ridiculous.”  

As if worried she hadn’t heard him, Ian repeated himself.  

There’s no way that’s true. He was handling himself so naturally—how could this be his first time?  

But it wasn’t something Cecilia needed to concern herself with, so she gave a response contrary to her thoughts.  

“I-I believe you.”  

“You don’t seem to believe me.”  

“I-I do! I believe you.”  

Caught in her lie, Cecilia stuttered, flustered. Ian’s eyes narrowed as if he didn’t trust her answer at all.  

“Don’t look at me that way. This is… your fault.”  

Then, he shifted all the blame for his actions onto Cecilia. His resentful gaze made her feel as though she had indeed done something wrong.  

But she quickly regained her composure and questioned Ian.  

“How is this my fault? What did I do to deserve such baseless accusations?”  

“That day.”  

“That day?”  

“Yes. If you hadn’t come to my room that day, none of this would have happened.”  

For the first time, Ian brought up the incident he had been so tight-lipped about. Cecilia’s face gradually turned pale.  

Is he saying I somehow awakened his s*xual desires? Could it be…?  

She couldn’t believe it, but it seemed plausible. After all, her hand skills, honed through practice, were good enough to awaken even a priest’s suppressed desires.  

I should’ve trained less!  

Cecilia silently cursed Rasilia in her mind. If she hadn’t practiced, she wouldn’t have triggered a priest’s desires.  

As she was silently venting her frustration, Ian suddenly said something unexpected.  

“Actually, I suffer from severe insomnia.”  

“I-insomnia?”  

“Yes.”  

Cecilia was surprised by this unexpected confession. She had thought his dark circles were slightly more pronounced than others, but now she understood why.  

She didn’t know why he was suddenly bringing up his insomnia, but it didn’t seem like he was mentioning it without reason, so she quietly listened to him.  

“I’ve tried everything to cure my insomnia. I’ve seen every renowned doctor and met with famous alchemists. Of course, I’ve also prayed to God daily, but nothing has worked.”

“…”

“But for just one day, my insomnia temporarily disappeared.”  

No way…  

Cecilia could already predict what Ian was about to say next. It had to be something that would explain his earlier actions and bizarre words.  

“That was the day I visited Viscount Bucklew’s estate, when you entered the room where I was staying.”  

“Oh my goodness.”  

Cecilia’s jaw dropped at the absurdity of his statement, and she couldn’t close her mouth.  

“T-the day your touch reached me, I was able to wake up to a clear and refreshing morning. It was the first time since I began suffering from insomnia.”  

Ian blushed as he spoke, looking both shy and alluring at the same time.  

The conflicting images of vulnerability and seduction blended together, leaving Cecilia dizzy. She felt as though she might lose control and pounce on him like a beast if she let herself go.  

No, stop it. What are you even thinking?  

Snapping herself out of it, Cecilia feigned calmness and asked,  

“S-so, is that why you were… doing that act by yourself? To cure your insomnia?”  

“…Yes.”  

Ian hung his head low, but Cecilia could see that his face had turned so red it looked like it might burst.  

“Now that I understand, I’ll take my leave. I’ve caused you enough trouble.”  

Cecilia gave a small bow and began to leave the room. She felt that staying any longer would be dangerous.  

“Please wait a moment.”  

But once again, Ian stopped her.  

“Yes?”  

Cecilia halted her steps and turned her head.  

“Are you just going to leave like this?”  

“Then… should I not leave?”  

Cecilia couldn’t figure out why Ian kept stopping her. She thought he would want her gone quickly.

But if he kept holding me back, could it mean…?  

Her mouth opened in disbelief, and Ian’s voice grew slightly agitated.  

“Are you really going to leave after what you’ve done to me?”  

“Pardon?”  

Cecilia was at a loss for words when she heard Ian’s accusation.  

“If you hadn’t come to my room that day, none of this would have happened.”  

As their eyes met, Ian’s gaze, filled with resentment, pierced through her. His reddened eyes trembled slightly, making him look so fragile that Cecilia instinctively reached out and held his hands.  

“If I’ve done something wrong, I’ll apologize. So please, don’t cry.”  

The words that came out of her mouth were entirely different from what she was thinking.  

Cecilia thought Ian Beaufort was a dangerously captivating man. Just the sight of him tearing up was enough to sway her heart.  

“Who said I was crying?”  

Even as his body trembled slightly, Ian’s appearance remained as delicate and beautiful as a single flower.  

“If you hadn’t come into the room where I was staying that day, none of this would have happened. It’s all your fault. That’s why I resent you.”  

“Resent me all you want. If there’s anything I can do to help, I’ll do it.”  

Since it was true that she had done something wrong, Cecilia felt like she had to agree to any request he might make.  

“Then, since you’re already here in my room… just this once….”  

Ian trailed off, lowering his head in embarrassment as he spoke.  

“Please help me.”  

“With what?”  

Instead of answering, his gaze shifted downward. Following his line of sight, Cecilia’s eyes landed on the bulge in his lower body again.  

“Don’t tell me… that?”  

Ian nodded silently in response, his eyes filled with a desperate plea for salvation. Seeing that look, Cecilia found herself unable to refuse.  

“Do you really think it’ll make a difference if I help? Do you truly believe it’ll help you sleep?”  

She asked again to confirm. No matter how she thought about it, curing insomnia and assisting him with such an act didn’t seem related.  

“…Yes.”  

After a brief hesitation, Ian answered.  

At that moment, Cecilia’s gaze shifted to the undeniable presence between his legs. When she had first opened the door, it hadn’t been this prominent, but during their conversation, it had grown considerably.  

What do I do?  

Seeing it continue to swell, Cecilia felt her desire to help vanish in an instant. She wanted to run away.  

But she had already promised to help, so she couldn’t back out now. Leaving him like this would only make her more conscious of the situation later.  

I’ll just help him this once and never again, right?  

After a moment of hesitation, Cecilia finally made up her mind and cautiously spoke.  

“J-just this once, right? If I help you, it’ll only be this one time?”  

Her gaze lingered on the bulge in his lower body. Its overwhelming size made her throat go dry.  

“…Yes. Once will be enough.”