Chapter 41. Love and Hatred Finally Completed

‘…What?’

Iella couldn’t understand his words at first. ‘Suddenly asking if I enjoyed it. What would I enjoy……?’

Then she noticed Allen’s ears turning subtly red and suddenly grasped his meaning. He was asking if she had enjoyed her night with another man.

‘He’s, he’s crazy!’

Iella, whose neck flushed hot in response, inwardly gasped. At the same time, she was so dumbfounded that words failed her. Setting aside whether it was enjoyable or not, the very fact that he would ask such a thing was absurd.

When had he stopped looking at Ailexia with hateful, disgusted eyes? Now he was acting like someone consumed by jealousy.

‘Is it like “I don’t want you, but I don’t want anyone else to have you either”?’

That was quite contradictory. If he hated her, why would he care who she was with? Iella barely swallowed the incredulous laugh that threatened to escape.

At the same time, she wondered how to answer him. His violet eyes stared at her intently, as if determined to hear an answer, even while his ears reddened with what seemed to be his own embarrassment.

But no matter how much she thought, no answer came to mind. Rather, she felt that Ailexia, who had even established a harem, must have invited other men to her bedroom many times before, so why was he acting this way now?

Given that context, it seemed almost ridiculous to make excuses to Allen, saying nothing happened. Ailexia probably wouldn’t have bothered responding to such things anyway.

But leaving him to misunderstand felt terribly unfair to herself.

‘I can’t tell him the truth…. And from his expression, he wouldn’t believe me if I said we just talked……’

After racking her brain, Iella finally chose silence. Taking her silence as confirmation, Allen’s expression darkened further. The slight furrow in his brow made it clear this wasn’t the answer he wanted.

“Then I’m no longer needed.”

“……”

“I’ll be abandoned by you too.”

He muttered with self-deprecation. His voice sounded precarious, as if it might disappear at any moment.

Just as his hand loosened its grip on her wrist, which Iella had considered fortunate, she suddenly, unconsciously reached out her hand.

“Ah.”

Her body had moved before her mind could catch up. When she thought she saw the light fading from his sorrowfully wavering violet eyes, she found herself holding onto him before she could think.

Was it because she saw her past self from another life in his resigned appearance, that looked like he had given up everything? The sole thought that she couldn’t leave him alone dominated her.

“Lady Ailexia?”

Belatedly realizing what she had done, Iella hastily withdrew her hand. However, Allen caught her retreating hand again. Trapping it in his large hand to prevent her escape, he took one step closer, then another, narrowing the distance between them.

“What does this mean?”

“Allen.”

“Is it mockery, or is it pity? Ah, it can’t be pity.”

As Iella backed away from him, her heel hit a stone pillar. She felt the hard surface against her back. With nowhere left to retreat, his large body pressed close to her.

Iella looked up vaguely at him, now just a breath away. His eyes, rippling like waves, looked down at her, trapped between him and the pillar, unable to move.

Then slowly, he lowered his head.

“……!”

Realizing what was about to happen, Iella reflexively closed her eyes.

However, for a while, there was no change, no sensation. Feeling something strange, she cautiously opened her eyes to see him staring at her, having stopped just in front of her face.

“All….”

“You’re so cruel.”

Iella called his name in a fragile voice, suffocated by their proximity. But Allen cut off her voice.

“You always leave me room for hope.”

“……”

“You turn away coldly as if you’re going to break me completely and throw me away, but you always leave behind a gesture, a glance. As if you know that with just that, I can’t escape your chains.”

A self-deprecating laugh escaped him. In contrast, his eyes looked as if they might cry at any moment.

“Even knowing that. Despite knowing it well, I always return. Like a fool.”

“Allen.”

Iella quietly called his name, trying to stop him from consuming himself. His downcast gaze turned back to her.

For some reason, Iella felt he wanted to cry.

“You must have enjoyed it every time. Because the dog you trampled on always came back, no matter how many times you abandoned him.”

“…What are you trying to say?”

She asked him, as he continuously attacked Ailexia while tormenting himself at the same time. What he truly wanted.

Allen pressed his lips tightly at that question. A violent ripple passed through his violet eyes, feeling confused.

After a long while, a choked voice quietly flowed out.

“……Why did you reach out to me?”

“……”

“Why, was it……”

Finally, a tear streamed from his eye and fell onto Iella.

“Why did it have to be you?”

Iella’s heart stirred greatly, resonating with his emotions.

The sympathy and compassion she had felt for him, though she knew it was presumptuous, swelled like an inflating balloon, making her chest feel tight.

But she couldn’t say anything. This wasn’t something she could hastily answer. Not being the real person, she couldn’t give him the answer he wanted.

And it was clear that answering based on her current emotions would only cause him more pain.

‘I’m sorry.’

In the end, Iella had no choice but to choose silence again. She felt powerless and guilty toward him, but there was nothing she could do.

“……You won’t answer me, as expected.”

As if he had anticipated her response, his voice, tinged with moisture, carried an undertone of “I knew it would be like this.” Iella, her heart heavy, lowered her gaze obliquely, avoiding him.

Then, as if telling her not to look away, he lifted her chin. When Iella’s gaze was pulled back up to meet his eyes again, she froze.

The violet eyes, which had been rippling as if about to cry, now glinted sharply.

“So from now on, whatever I do, it’s all your fault.”

“What does that……”

“I mean you should take proper responsibility.”

Suddenly, his head tilted. His nose bridge slid against hers, and his breath tickled her lips.

Allen took her small lips into his.

“Hup!”

Startled, Iella struggled to push him away. But his large, firm build, big enough to cover her small, delicate body entirely, showed no sign of budging. Instead, his strong arms wrapped around her waist, pressing her against him without any gap.

“Haah……”

He delved deeply, tilting her head back as far as it would go. With each languid breath he exhaled, a hot, dense sensation spread from where they touched.

Gradually, her struggling movements, beating against his chest, subsided. It wasn’t Iella’s will. Her body, remembering numerous contacts with Allen, gradually relaxed, and the dizzying sensation he gave her scrambled her thoughts.

Finally, the strength left her clenched fists.

Then, his movements, which had been invading deeply enough to steal her consciousness, changed. As if asking for permission now, light kisses tickled her lips, then entered gently and carefully, touching her small, plump tongue with tender movements.

It was so different from before, when he had roughly grabbed her tongue, intertwining as if they were one body, and sucking deeply.

‘This can’t be happening….’

Because of this, contrary to her thoughts, Iella couldn’t even maintain her composure. If before she had been wrapped in a chilling sensation, now she was soaked in languor, feeling as if her entire being from head to toe was melting into a puddle.

‘If the same thing happens again……’

Troubling scenarios flashed through her mind, but that was all. With his other hand, he cupped her cheek, then slowly moved to massage her earlobe with his thumb. When the small hand touching her chest flinched, he traced up her ear and caressed the inside suggestively.

When his hand completely enveloped her ear, only the wet, entangling, sticky sounds seemed to exist in the world, filling her mind.

“Ah……”

At last, after a long time, his lips parted from hers. It was just as Iella’s legs were about to give way, feeling as if her entire body had melted. With blurry vision and a dazed mind, she couldn’t immediately break away from him and just gasped for breath.

Had her body heated up from the recent contact? Her hot, feverish body wouldn’t regain strength. It felt exactly like being in a dream.

At that moment, Allen’s voice whispered in her ear.

“If you’re going to abandon me again despite this……”

Iella, who had been blinking her eyes slowly at his gentle voice, raised her head from where it was buried in his embrace. Unlike Iella, his eyes flashed fiercely as they looked at her.

“Then, just kill me instead.”

Her mind cleared as if cold water had been poured over her. Before Iella could somehow gather strength in her body, he pressed against her and brought his hand to her slender neck.

Under his hand, her rapidly beating pulse spread its thumping sound.

“Before I kill you first someday.”

The terrified woman’s image was clearly reflected in his violet eyes, which were filled with a sharp murderous intent.