I Died in the Arms of My Husband Who Hated Me

I stared at him, wide-eyed with disbelief at such an insulting remark.

He had seen everything with his own eyes, so how could he possibly say that?

But Claude didn’t give me a chance to respond before firing another shot:

“If you’re acting like this just because of your pretty face, I suggest you try it elsewhere. Lady Eleanor isn’t here to protect you anymore.”

“…”

Claude had always valued propriety.

He was cold and often detached, but never crass.

At the very least, he was not the kind of man to speak so rudely to a young lady who had just entered high society.

Our eyes locked at close range.

From this distance, I could see it clearly.

His face, once sharp and refined, was now worn and damaged.

‘What happened to you?’
‘What could have possibly happened in these past three years to change you this much?’

I wanted to ask, but I couldn’t find the words.

Instead, I lowered my gaze.

I caught sight of his polished shoes out of the corner of my eye.

I had come here today with something I wanted to say.

I had planned to act like a proper lady: to remain calm and composed and finally bring an end to this painful, one-sided love.

I was going to tell him that I no longer wanted to marry him.

I was also going to apologise for my rudeness that day.

But before I could say a word, Claude reached out and gently lifted my chin.

The slightest movement brought him close enough for me to smell the alcohol on his breath.

He leaned in, brushing my cheek with his face, and his voice rang low in my ear.

“There’s something I’ve been meaning to ask.”

“……”

“Do we… know each other?”

My eyes widened in shock. I blinked, unsure if I heard him right.

“N-no, not at all.”

“I didn’t expect you to say that.”

“…Excuse me?”

“Weren’t you looking for someone to marry?”

“……”

“Am I not the one you’re chasing after?”

The corner of his mouth curled into a smirk. I knew that expression well. He used to look at me like that sometimes… back when I was still called Diana.

“That’s not it—”

“If it’s not, then why do you keep hovering around me?”

His words dripped with contempt.

“The other day… it was truly just a coincidence—”

“Coincidence? Are you trying to make me laugh right now?”

“……”

“Most young ladies would give up after sending a few love letters. But you’re relentless! To come all the way here alone… Your persistence is quite impressive, I must say. I almost admire it.”

Even in a different body, he hated me this much. Perhaps I was always destined to be someone Claude despised.

The thought stung more than I expected and, before I could stop them, tears began to silently fall down my cheeks.

“And now the tears? What a performance.”

“……”

“Ah, so the rumors were true. You really are a beauty, my lady.”

I glared at him. Even though he was drunk, his words were unnecessarily cruel and far beyond what was acceptable. They stripped him of his dignity.

‘You weren’t like this before…’

Claude stared at my expression, seemingly amused by my discomfort. Then, suddenly, he leaned in so close that his breath brushed my ear.

“I wouldn’t mind spending a night with you. Is that what you were hoping for?”

As if to emphasise his words, he brought his face closer to mine, as though he were about to kiss me.

The sharp scent of alcohol mingled with his familiar fragrance, and I was hit all at once.

We had once shared a bed as husband and wife. We had kissed before.

But this… this was different.

Now, I felt nothing but deep, overwhelming humiliation.

Gathering all my strength, I pushed his shoulder away.

He didn’t resist; he just staggered back with a mocking laugh.

“What? Don’t like it?”

It wasn’t just his appearance that had crumbled; he was shattered on the inside, too.

‘Are you planning to throw away the duties of the dukedom and live like this forever?’

The question burned in my throat, but I couldn’t bring myself to say it.

“…Hhk…”

A quiet sob escaped before I could stop it.

I hated how fragile my heart was. I hated how the tears always came first. I felt pathetic.

Above me, his irritated voice still rang out, sharp and cutting:

“Did you practise crying or something?”

“….”

But by now, his cruel words no longer mattered.

“What? You think that if you cry well enough, I’ll start paying more attention to you?”

None of it hurt anymore, not even his mocking tone.

It wasn’t his words that truly broke me.

“Go ahead, then.”

“…What?”

“If you’re going to kiss me, just do it! If you want to take it further, then do that, too. I don’t care about our marriage anymore.”

And yet, despite everything, I still cared for him.

Even though I had seen how far he had fallen, my heart still ached for him.

“You don’t care about the marriage?”

Claude looked at me in disbelief, daring me to say it again.

I bit down on my trembling lips and forced myself to speak.

“But please, don’t tell me you’ve sunk this low.”

“What did you say?”

“You weren’t like this before.”

“…”

“Please don’t lose the dignity the Duke once had.”

Claude froze, an expression of stunned disbelief crossing his face.

“I won’t come looking for you again.”

I said, turning away from him.

Even though there was no logical reason to feel disappointed, something deep down in me was still broken.

***

I hurried down the stairs and left the mansion. I knew the layout of the Duke’s estate well, so finding my way wasn’t difficult.

If I followed the path from the back entrance, I would reach a small garden. No one in the household ever paid it much attention. Unlike the main garden, it lacked any grandeur — there were no elaborate fountains or manicured hedges — but I had always enjoyed walking there alone.

Thankfully, nothing had changed. Not even after three years.

I sat on the same bench that I had always chosen. This familiar place offered a strange sense of comfort, and before I knew it, tears were falling once more.

“Can’t you see that by debasing yourself like this, you’re no better than a common harlot?”

How could he say something like that?

Of course, it was foolish to hope, but…

If we could talk things through, even if only slightly, I wanted to ask him what he had been about to say on that final carriage ride. I wanted to know why he had held me so tightly as I lay dying.

But, thinking about it now, it was nothing more than a pathetic fantasy.

As tears continued to spill, I wiped them away with my sleeve and sank deeper into my thoughts.

It was a relief that Claude had survived — but that was all. Even if I hadn’t died, I wouldn’t have meant anything to him anymore.

Ever since I woke up in this body, I had been overwhelmed by a gnawing sense of loneliness that I had tried my best to ignore.

Why did this happen to me?

What am I supposed to do now?

Where did the real owner of this body go?

Perhaps it would have been better if I had just died.

Drip. Drip.
Tears soaked the fabric of the worn navy dress, darkening it further with each drop.

I used to cry whenever I got emotional, like a fool.

I’d always hated that about myself.

“You really do cry an awful lot.”

I remember him saying that to me once, his voice laced with clear disgust, as if he couldn’t stand the sight of me.

Of course, he probably doesn’t even remember it now.

No matter how much time passes, nothing ever changes.

Why do I keep expecting something different, only to end up disappointed again?

Just as self-loathing began to rise in my chest for being so foolish—

“Why are you here alone?”

“…Ah.”

A sudden voice broke the silence. I quickly wiped my cheeks and looked up in surprise.
It was a voice I recognized.

Zaan — or rather, Prince Louis Edmund Felix — stood before me, looking down at me with a gentle air of concern.

He was the second prince of the Empire.

He was the only person who had ever shown me warmth — my half-brother.

But that kindness had only lasted through our early childhood. After my tenth birthday, I was completely cast out of the imperial family. My mother kept me hidden away like a shameful secret and, from that point on, I never saw him again.

Yet he still looked as radiant as ever, like sunlight itself.

With the imperial family’s signature pale blonde locks, he smiled softly and gave me a polite, formal introduction.

“I am Louise Edmund Felix, Prince of the Empire.”

“D-Diana—I mean, Brianna Elwin… of House Elwin…”

Despite my stumbling over my words, he simply smiled and gestured to the chair beside him, inviting me to sit down.

I jumped to my feet in a fluster and he took the seat beside me. He spoke to me warmly.

“I didn’t mean to take your place. May I sit with you?”

“Yes, of course.”

I sat down awkwardly beside him.

We had spent a lot of time together as children. But after I turned ten and my mother all but locked me away, we never crossed paths again.

He probably doesn’t even remember those days.

And yet, the fact that he had spoken to me at all made my heart race.