I Thought It Was An Arranged Marriage - Chapter 32

“Can you tell me what you meant earlier?”

“By what…?”

“The words you said earlier… about morning sickness.”

“Ah…”

Seeing Lucas’s face turn pale as soon as he heard Rosaline’s words, she felt a part of her heart crumble.

She was sure. He was convinced that there wouldn’t be a child between them. What was he hiding from her? But before she could continue her thoughts, she was shocked and had to stand up abruptly.

“Luke!!”

It was because Lucas had gotten up from the sofa and knelt on the floor. He couldn’t even look her in the face, bowing his head and trembling.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Rosie.”

“I want an explanation more than an apology.”

Despite being flustered, Rosaline’s firm words made Lucas hesitate for a long time before he finally spoke in a barely audible voice. It was shocking.

“The truth is… I’ve been using contraception.”

Rosaline was so stunned that she felt as if she had forgotten how to breathe, and Lucas felt like the world had stopped.

Cold sweat poured down, and everything went dark. He wanted to beat his past self, who had acted so selfishly. If he could, he’d stab a knife right into his own gut.

“Why… why… why…”

“I was short-sighted.”

He hadn’t intended to use contraception from the start. In fact, he hadn’t used any on their wedding night. It was from the second night onwards that he used contraception magic. When Rosaline first mentioned an heir, he was so happy imagining a child resembling her that he wanted to get her pregnant right away.

But something nagged at him. The thought that she might remember her past life, though he believed it impossible, clung to him like a stain on his shirt that wouldn’t come off.

So, he was a bit worried. If she really remembered her past life, would it be okay for her to get pregnant?

She had been stabbed in the belly while pregnant. Even if she seemed fine, if she remembered, it would leave a deep scar. No one knew what might happen if she got pregnant.

He didn’t want anything to happen to her, no matter how slim the chance. If it was a physical issue, as an archmage, he could handle it, or he could call the high priest. But psychological issues were uncertain.

So, he decided to love her abundantly first. He thought they should only have a child after she felt secure enough that even memories of the past wouldn’t matter. He wanted them to welcome a child in peace, feeling only happiness.

But that was his own thought. Even though she mentioned having an heir herself, he ignored her wishes. And now she was hurt and crying. He realized too late that he had been selfish again.

But he was afraid to be honest. If he told her the truth, he’d have to start by explaining that time had turned back. Lucas, who had lived without fear, was always cautious and scared when it came to her. As he hesitated, she was piling up bigger misunderstandings.

“Do you… not want me to have your child?”

“No. If I have an heir, I want you to be the mother, Rosie!”

“Then… why…”

When Lucas hurriedly lifted his head, he saw Rosaline crying, wounded. His heart sank.

She was already hurt enough. If he kept silent, it would only lead to more misunderstandings. No matter how scared he was, he instinctively knew he had to tell the truth right now. It felt like it was already too late, but he had a strong premonition that he must not miss this moment.

“Rosie. Will you listen to me?”

“Yes.”

Barely resisting the urge to wipe away the tears streaming down Rosaline’s cheeks, Lucas took a deep breath.

He didn’t know where to start or how to explain, but today, he had to confess everything to Rosaline. Even if she got angry and demanded a divorce.

“I need to ask for your forgiveness.”

“For what…”

“I have a secret I haven’t told you, Rosie.”

“Luke…?”

“I know that you know about a past that hasn’t happened in the present.”

It was a shocking statement. The impact was like dropping hellfire on a golden field ready for harvest. Rosaline froze in place, unable to react at all.

“I won’t cowardly ask what or how much you remember. I will simply confess my wrongdoings. You don’t have to forgive me. I don’t deserve it… not from you.”

“Lu…cas… I…”

Standing awkwardly and frozen, Rosaline was gently seated on the bed by him. Then he took a few steps back, knelt down, and looked at her. The emotions in his eyes were regret, despair, sadness, and resignation.

“It might be a long story, so please sit comfortably. I must start from when I was a child. When I was six, I first felt mana. It was the youngest age ever recorded, and I had a large amount of it, which made my father very happy. He even opened the imperial treasury for me. From there, I obtained the most precious item, the Necklace of Fate.”

“The Necklace of…”

“It’s a necklace with powers as grand as its name. It can even turn back time.”

Rosaline tried hard to hide her shock, but her wide eyes and gaping mouth betrayed her. Watching her with a bitter expression, Lucas dropped another bombshell.

“That’s right. It was I who granted you new time. I turned back time.”

Rosaline forced herself to exhale the breath she had been holding. She took a deep breath and exhaled again, but it didn’t come easily. How did this conversation come about? This wasn’t the discussion she had expected. But.

“Why are you asking for forgiveness if you turned back time?”

Rosaline steadied her trembling hands and expressed her curiosity. She was happy now. Her husband wasn’t the detestable Kallen Addis. Amelia Cherda couldn’t harm her, nor could she even see her face.

I am being loved abundantly by Lucas Bryant. Because we went back to the past. If it was my husband who turned back time, he didn’t need to ask for my forgiveness. No, he was more like a benefactor to her.

“I have always been ashamed and embarrassed. Seeing you smile at me when you didn’t know the truth made me agonize countless times, but I, who knew no shame, couldn’t confess to you. I knew I was deceiving you, but I selfishly didn’t want to let go of this hard-earned happiness.”

“……”

“Perhaps, the person who made you suffer the most is me. The one you probably hate and despise the most is likely me.”

“That can’t be…”

“I turned back time, twice. You are living your third life now.”

First Life.

Lucas, age six. The first time he felt mana.

The Emperor was greatly pleased. Mages were chosen beings. And the stronger their power, the more formidable an asset they became, so it was natural for him to be happy.

The Emperor was forty-one, the Empress was forty, and their firstborn Crown Prince was twenty-one when their lovely youngest child was born. A child who was lovable just by breathing turned out to be a mage.

Moreover, Lucas was strong. Even with just his awakened power, he had the potential to become an archmage. He would become a reliable spear and shield for the Empire. Even though the Empire was stable internally and externally, and the succession line was clear, Crown Prince Raymond naturally felt a slight sense of crisis.

So he spoke to his indifferent and quiet but still affectionate younger brother.