CHAPTER FOUR.
The Crisis

A few days later.

I was facing the biggest crisis of my life.

‘Mishael’s thing was truly amazing…’

Just seeing it was impressive, but it was even more impressive when I experienced it myself.

Will I be able to find something like that again? Maybe in this fantasy world, are most men at that level? But what if my future husband is smaller than that? What should I do then? If the average size in this world is bigger, so what? Should I include that in the requirements for my future husband? But I couldn’t just ask them out of the blue, right? Anyway, if I’m going to go to social events and try to meet people naturally, it’s impossible to scrutinize and compare everyone. Though society claims to value chastity for both genders… Then, should I just get married as things are and if there’s no fulfillment in bed, make a toy? Since I’m going to do it, wouldn’t my husband go along with it to some extent? Or would he consider it as a blow to his pride…?

With all these various thoughts, I was sprawled on the bed. Lying horizontally, with my head hanging off the bed. I did this because I thought that if I put my head upside down, I wouldn’t think of him……but it seemed like my blood circulation improved even more. Maybe because I was looking at the world upside down, it felt even more at east.

‘Ha… I wish I didn’t know.’

That thick and slightly curved ugly thing that penetrated through my entrance…

I wanted to feel it more.

If this wasn’t this body’s first time, it would have been easier to insert inside me, And if it wasn’t Mishael’s first time, we could have done it for longer…

‘Ah, no, no…!’

What more can I do?

I fiercely kicked the blankets in a futile attempt to shake off my thoughts.

So, the crisis of my life… was that I couldn’t stop thinking about the d*ck of this world’s sub-male lead, the one I had raised so carefully so he won’t get beaten. It keeps coming to my mind every day, at every single moment.

To escape from that distressing delusion, I have been moving busily all this time. I attended banquets, salons, and responded to invitations when they came. I searched with burning eyes, hoping to find an ideal son-in-law this year as originally planned, but a problem arose there as well.

‘No matter how you look at it, it seems small…’

Perhaps it’s because I’ve tasted it once, or maybe it’s because of Mishael’s influence, that I now automatically imagine their fortune cookies altogether. To the extent that I had to make an effort to keep my gaze from slipping downwards whenever I was introduced to a new man.

I couldn’t help it. The thing I had experienced was impressive in every aspect. Whether it was the size, shape, texture, hardness, temperature, and especially if it was responsible for one aspect of a couple’s relationship…

Yes, that’s right. That’s just natural…

Knock, knock.

“Miss… oh my god!”

At that moment, my maid Jen shouted in surprise as soon as she opened the door. It was because she saw my face upside down.

“Miss, why… are you acting like this?”

“Hmm, I’m just trying to get you to be more alert…….”

“What?”

Jen was understandably confused. Having learned my manners from Mrs Entera, I’ve always maintained a perfect posture even when I was alone.

It was all so that our sub-male lead didn’t have to get beaten…

I raised him carefully to prevent him from getting any physical or emotional harm….

How on earth did he catch this strange disease….

‘Thanks to that, I had a good experience…’

But…?

Hmm?

Ah, really…. The situation was getting worse and worse.

I quickly straightened up and returned to my usual upright posture. Maybe this delusion go away if I just talked to people about something unrelated to s*x?

“Anyway, what’s wrong?”

“Oh, the patriarch is calling for you. He says he has something important to tell you.”

“My father?”

“Yes. He is in the study right now.”

“In the… study?”

“Yes…?”

Did the sun rise in the west while I was fantasizing about Mishael’s thing?

After all, the study was the farthest place Father would go in our house. It was strange to think that he was in such a study.

From childhood, I was the one to express my opinion on various decisions made by the family. Six years ago, after Mishael left for the Holy Kingdom, I gradually started taking over my father’s work and two years ago, after my coming-of-age ceremony, I officially became the acting head of the family. Thanks to that, my father was freed from the family duties that didn’t suit him and enjoyed a carefree life. Our family was slowly distancing itself from the tragic ending it seemed destined for…

“By any chance.”

“I don’t think there was any accident.”

“Hmm.”

The servants of Parma have been following me more than my father. Before I even ask, Jen, who faithfully gives necessary information, nodded, so I put on a shawl and headed to my father’s office.

“Father, you called for me?”

“Ah, have you arrived, Lily?”

When I entered my father’s office, he was sitting at his usual desk that hardly ever gets used. Somehow, he had a serious expression on his face, and his attitude was rigid…

Could it be? I squinted at my father, studying him carefully.

“I didn’t gamble, I didn’t go to any illegal auctions, and I didn’t invest in any risky schemes!”

My father instinctively claimed his innocence.

“Are you sure…?”

“So, Lily doesn’t trust her own father, huh, really.”

My father grumbled resentfully, but my suspicions were reasonable and Father would reluctantly accept it. Despite my constant brainwashing him into believing that human trafficking was wrong, he still brought Mishael in, and since that incident, my father kept getting caught for participating in illegal gambling or visiting underground investment markets.

I narrowed my eyes and stared at my father. I took a good look in my mind’s eye¹literal translation: eyes of the heart, but fortunately, there was no sign of my father favoring his bad friends in his transparent face. He was on his way to becoming a g, go… good man.

Hmm, fortunately or not. I sat down on the sofa in front of the table with relief.

“But you really have to be careful. If you want to find a respectable and excellent son-in-law, our family should not have any flaws for a while.”

“Well, that’s true…”

There was a faint blush in my father’s slightly cloudy face as he stealthily glanced at me.

That’s right. My father didn’t want me to quickly inherit the title and continue to live the extravagant life like a vagabond. So the Parma father and daughter were acting under a recent common goal. I was actively seeking a respectable son-in-law, while my fathe,ron the other hand, spoke in a way that would make the Marquis of Parma present an pleasant image so that the prospective son-in-law’s family would not disappointed to send their son off to marriage.

‘If nothing happened…then why did she have such a look on his face?’

Meanwhile, the butler brought tea to the table, and I sipped it, concentrating on its flavor so as not to put any pressure on my father.

A little later, my father came quietly to sit across from me, with a determined look on his face.

“That, Lily.”

“Yes.”

“Well, you know that Dad…loves you very much, right?”

“…Yes?”

“So that’s why,”

Even after that, for a while, my father cleared his throat as he hesitated. Why is he acting like this if it’s not something he did…?

The question marks on my face grew larger. Then, my father suddenly shouted as if his throat was burning from the screams.

“I-I found a suitable match.”

“What?”

“And arranged a marriage meeting.”

“Father!”

I shouted in surprise.

Finding a suitable groom was entirely my responsibility. We all liked different types of men, whether it was someone to live together with, the type of man adults like, or the type of man women prefer. And above all, my father had no eye for judging people.

“Well, it may seem sudden. But I, your father, was also pursuing a natural meeting with my son-in-law!”

“What?”

How did it come to this….?

I couldn’t understand how this absurd logic came about, so I stared at my father with my mouth agape. Perhaps my father, who had also said something unplanned, awkwardly added something else.

“Well, it’s just that I’ve casually met a young man I’d like to have as my son-in-law.”

“Aha, is that so…?”

“Well, you see, he is a young man whom I recently received a favor from, and he is so polite and well-mannered.”

Somehow the sound of my father’s teeth grinding between his words made me wonder that it didn’t seem like a favor, but rather an act of revenge. But I didn’t pay much attention to it. I was absorbed in my own reasoning.

“Father, did you receive any request from Count Rauden and Baron Eldon…?”

“No, it has nothing to do with Count Rauden and Baron Eldon! I haven’t even met them lately!”

“Is that so?”

By the way, if you say ‘lately,’ does that mean they met some time ago? As I opened my mind’s eye again, my father’s face twitched and he broke out in a cold sweat.

“I know, Lily, that if you happen to see me together with them again, my allowance will be halved. Since then, I’ve been acting as if I haven’t seen them at a social club!”

“Really?”

“Really!”

“Hmm…”

My father passed the ‘mind’s eye’ test once again, and I decided to let go of my suspicions for now.

“Well, anyway! He is really sincere and decent, and I immediately thought of my dear Lily.”

“Father, I also have my own standards.”

“Yes. He’s one head taller than our Lily, has shoulders 1.5 times wider than yours, and whatnot. Wherever you go, you won’t find someone as handsome as that young man.”

“…Is that so?”

As expected of a daughter fool, my father knew my ideal type well.

‘There is no one as handsome as him, huh…’

Let me see. I also know such a peerless beauty…