Chapter 1 (Part 4)

After a moment of contemplation, Amelia thought about whether there was a discreet young man around her whom she could ask.

‘I don’t think there is…’

Most of the discreet young men among her acquaintances were already engaged. Those who weren’t engaged often had ladies they were discussing marriage with, so there was really no suitable man she could ask.

“No matter how much I think about it, there doesn’t seem to be anyone around me I can ask.”

As Amelia shook her head with a confident expression, Mary pinpointed someone with a look that asked why there wasn’t anyone.

“What do you mean, there’s no one? Sir Birken is there. I heard he doesn’t have a lady he’s discussing marriage with yet, so isn’t he perfect?”

“What? Ask Edwin?”

Hearing his name for the second time today, Amelia’s eyes widened like a rabbit’s.

“That’s ridiculous! Why do you keep linking me with him? I haven’t spoken to Edwin in 3 years!”

“Shh! Young Lady, you need to lower your voice.”

Mary put her index finger to her lips and looked anxiously at the door, indicating that Amelia’s voice had gotten too loud.

“Oh, right.”

Realizing her mistake, the intense emotion that had surged up subsided. Worried that someone might have heard, Amelia listened intently for any sounds outside the door, but fortunately, there wasn’t even the sound of footsteps in the corridor.

Once she confirmed that it was quiet outside, Mary spoke again.

“Why do you think it’s not possible? He might actually agree to help. Though you haven’t met recently, you were close in the past.”

“Edwin hates me. That’s why things are awkward between us now.”

Although Amelia had been the one to avoid him initially, Edwin hadn’t contacted her afterward either, leading her to believe he disliked her.

“That can’t be true. Isn’t it just that you haven’t met because he’s been busy?  If he hated you, would he keep sending flowers?”

“He only sends them to maintain a good relationship with my father.”

The Birken estate grew a rare purple flower known as the Witch’s Tear. Since Edwin was in charge of them, he managed to send flowers every year despite being busy as the captain of the Royal Knights.

Because they only grew there, they were highly prized, but Amelia thought Edwin sent them out of courtesy.

“He sends them to you, not to the Duke of Hamilton.”

“If he suddenly sent them to my father or mother instead of me, they would realize we’ve grown distant. He probably doesn’t want to worry them.”

The Duke and Duchess of Hamilton had no idea that Amelia and Edwin had grown apart. They simply thought they weren’t meeting because Edwin had become busy after becoming the captain of the Royal Knights three years ago.

They thought this because Amelia and Edwin had once been so close that people called them inseparable friends.

‘When had I started growing apart from him?’

Amelia recalled her first meeting with Edwin. With his soft silver hair and reddish-brown eyes, Edwin had been such a beautiful boy that she thought he was an angel descended from heaven. Wanting to be friends, Amelia had approached him first.

After that, they had grown so close that Edwin even knew her menstrual cycle, and they shared their innermost thoughts. They understood each other so well that they could say anything and be understood.

Their relationship began to grow distant when Edwin, who had become a knight, started to change.

He was skilled in swordsmanship and had joined the Royal Knights at a young age. He steadily rose through the ranks, eventually becoming the youngest captain of the Royal Knights after reaching adulthood.

During that time, his appearance changed significantly. While his delicate face remained, his boyish body transformed into a solid, muscular physique. His bright eyes became sharp and piercing.

Because his demeanor had changed so much from his childhood, Amelia felt estranged from Edwin. However, she had never thought of cutting off contact for this reason.

Though they had grown somewhat distant, Amelia still considered Edwin a friend she got along well with. She was content with maintaining a relationship where they occasionally enjoyed tea together.

Her feelings completely changed after that day.

On the last day she visited the Birken estate, Amelia had gone there at the invitation of the Duchess of Birken. The Duchess, who was clumsy with embroidery, had asked Amelia for help in embroidering a lion emblem for the Duke of Birken, who was going on a hunting trip. Despite years of embroidering, the Duchess’s skills had not improved, so the assistance often lasted late into the night, and Amelia often stayed over at the Birken estate.

‘How about staying over tonight? Anticipating it would get late, we have already prepared a room for you.’

‘I’m sorry, but I’ll take you up on that offer for the night.’

As always, Amelia did not refuse the Duchess’s suggestion.

‘There’s no need to apologize between us. On the contrary, I’m grateful to receive your help. You must be tired, so wash up and go to bed. We have prepared warm water in the bath.’

‘Thank you.’

Amelia lightly washed herself and lay down on the bed. Having had many things to worry about all day, she fell asleep as soon as she lay down.

Though Amelia usually never woke up once she fell asleep, for some reason, she woke up in the early hours of that night. A strange moaning sound reached her ears.

‘Ah, Amelia….’

Since she had no lover, it was impossible for someone to call her name in such a seductive voice.

She tried to open her heavy eyelids, but they only trembled without opening. 

When she finally managed to open her eyes slightly, she was so shocked that she couldn’t breathe. No voice came out either. She was so stunned by the unbelievable sight before her that she could do nothing but stare.

‘Why, why do I see Edwin Birken in front of me?’

It was surprising enough that Edwin was there, but even more shocking was that he had his pants down and was rubbing his erect p*nis with his hand.

Although she had received s*x education, it was the first time she had seen a man’s g*nitals directly. The sight of the large, intimidating organ, proportionate to his tall stature, moving up and down gave her a strange feeling.

‘Is this a dream? Or reality?’

She couldn’t tell if it was a dream or not. Amelia instinctively closed her eyes tightly, but the lewd sound of w*t friction against skin was too distracting, forcing her to open her eyes again.

This time, what she saw first was his solid body, drenched in sweat, with his shirt clinging to him. Although she had seen him half-n*ked when they were younger, somehow, it felt different now.

‘When did he lose his boyishness?’

Even though she had seen him grow taller, with broader shoulders and a more muscular body from sword training, Edwin had always been just a friend in Amelia’s eyes.

So she wondered why he looked so mature and sensual, m*sturbating under the moonlight streaming through the window, breathing heavily.

At that moment, she felt a tingling sensation in her lower abdomen. It seemed as if a deeply hidden part of her was getting w*t.

Amelia couldn’t tell whether the situation was a dream or not. She could only silently watch Edwin as he moaned and pleasured himself.

Then, she fell back asleep and when she woke up again, nothing was there.

‘What on earth happened?’

She was so confused that she couldn’t make sense of the situation. The room was filled with an unfamiliar scent, but since this wasn’t her room, she thought that was the reason and covered her flushed face with her hands.

‘Oh my goodness! What kind of dream did I have?’

She tried to calm her embarrassment, but the bizarre scene she had witnessed the night before wouldn’t leave her mind.

‘Good heavens!’

Moreover, when she lifted her skirt and found a w*t spot in her private area, an indescribable shame washed over her. Worried that the bed might be w*t, she checked, but only her underwear was soaked.

Although it was fortunate she had packed two extra pairs of underwear, that wasn’t the issue for Amelia. The problem was that she had physically reacted to a man’s body for the first time.

‘I’ve never thought of Edwin as a man, so how could this make any sense?’

She wondered if Edwin would ever come into the room where she was sleeping and m*sturbate alone. There was no way he would do something so absurd.

No matter how much she thought about it, it was all nonsensical, so she could only conclude that what happened last night was just a dream. At the same time, a question arose.

‘Why did I have such a dream?’

She had never once been conscious of Edwin as a man. She had always considered him just a good friend. He also didn’t have any special feelings for her, and they had maintained a friendly distance.

So, to have such a bizarre dream, she would have had to see him as a romantic interest at the very least. But since she hadn’t, she didn’t know how to explain this situation.

‘Could I have harbored lust for him all this time?’