Chapter 24

The fingers rhythmically tapping on the desk came to a halt, coinciding with the sound of a knock.

“Young Lord Phyllis. It’s Derrick.”

Derrick entered the room and bowed politely. There was only one situation where he would come looking for Phyllis first.

“Mother isn’t taking her medicine again?”

“I’m sorry. She was very adamant about it…”

The butler trailed off with an awkward expression. Phyllis thought for a moment before asking.

“What about Father?”

“He hasn’t returned yet. He mentioned that the meeting would run late, so he’ll likely be back tomorrow afternoon.”

It was a small relief amidst the misfortune. After replying that he understood, Phyllis dismissed him.

It seemed that his mother was once again refusing to take her medicine. Although it was something that happened often, today it gave him a headache.

‘Mother, you must take your medicine. What will happen if your health worsens?’

‘You know why I’m doing this, Phyllis.’

‘I do, but… you still have to take it. For me and Juliana’s sake.’

The conversation they’d had just a few days ago vividly replayed in his mind. Phyllis clutched his throbbing head. Since the beginning of the year, his mother’s stomach condition had worsened, and she had been especially reluctant to take her medication.

This was due to the side effects, which left her feeling drowsy or behaving as if she were intoxicated.

‘Medication can only maintain her current state at best. It seems we need to treat the illness of the heart first.’

It was only recently that he had learned her condition wasn’t purely physical. Phyllis let out a heavy sigh.

‘I was planning to bring it up once her condition improved.’

The line between an explanation and an excuse was razor-thin. He knew full well that, given the current situation, it was all meaningless.

His concern for his mother was brief; soon, his thoughts were once again filled with Karina.

“Should I go to the Ducal residence?”

Even in his despair, a selfish hope began to sprout.

He wanted to meet Karina again and apologize. No, he had to.

‘Alright. First, I’ll visit Mother tomorrow, and then…’

Phyllis forced a conclusion into his chaotic mind and gathered strength in his legs to stand.

“And then…”

But a sudden thought drained the strength from his body.

If I went to the Ducal residence tomorrow and managed to meet Karina, what could I do after that?

The solution that had seemed so obvious just moments ago suddenly became vague and uncertain. The noise in his head quieted. Phyllis found himself returning to the very beginning.

‘Let’s make it happen. This winter, on the day of the first snowfall.’

He had promised to get engaged to Cornell. There was no particular plan. For them, the engagement itself was the plan and the future.

A biting wind struck the window. He noticed that the sky outside had darkened. 

When had the days grown so short? 

The reality he had been avoiding was now right before him.

‘How long were you planning to make me wait?’

The hollow voice echoed in his mind. Phyllis couldn’t answer that question.

The reason was simple. He had never thought about it—not even as autumn passed and winter approached.

It was then that Phyllis finally realized the source of the unease he couldn’t put into words.

He had promised to get engaged to Cornell. But he had never once imagined breaking off his engagement with Karina. His chaotic thoughts were swept away like debris in a wave, leaving his mind blank. Unconsciously, Phyllis muttered to himself.

“What… have I been doing?”

The relentless wind outside had stopped. Phyllis turned his head.

The still darkness pulled him into a long night.

***

Karina was heading toward her father’s study. She could feel the gazes around her, different from before.

‘So the rumors have already spread.’

It wasn’t particularly surprising. And right now, it wasn’t important. Karina stopped in front of a man. It was Shumian, the Duke’s secretary and butler.

“Please let me in. I’m asking you.”

At her polite request, the hesitant Shumian knocked on the study door.

“Your Grace. Lady Karina requests an audience.”

His voice, filled with unease, echoed down the hallway. The response came immediately.

“Tell her to leave.”

Shumian, flustered, opened and closed his mouth. Karina gestured for him to step aside and pushed the door open.

As soon as she entered, her father, seated at his desk, came into view.

Asillis glanced briefly at Karina before resuming his work without a hint of concern.

“I apologize for my rudeness. I came because there’s something I need to say.”

“I don’t have anything to say.”

Asillis spoke in a cold tone as he flipped through a document. Karina hesitated before speaking.

“I heard that Phyllis came to the Ducal residence yesterday.”

Only then did Asillis’s gaze shift to Karina. She cautiously asked.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

Yesterday afternoon, Phyllis had come to the Ducal residence to see Karina.

It wasn’t until the next day, today, that Karina learned of it.

Asillis lowered his gaze again. His hand, flipping through another document, was as composed as ever.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I heard it from the maids. They said you sent Phyllis away…”

“I simply sent away someone who came to my house, based on my judgment.”

It was a sharp response. Karina couldn’t argue and closed her mouth.

His gaze showed none of the usual affection he had for his daughter. Karina bit her lip lightly.

“I… I’m sorry for what happened a few days ago.”

As Karina spoke in a barely audible voice, Asillis’s hand movements slowed.

“I know you must be very angry. I should have told you and Mother, but I hid it. I’m truly sorry.”

Since that day, Asillis’s attitude toward Karina had slightly changed. It was clear that he was upset about the broken engagement. But the matter with Phyllis was a different issue.

Following her mother’s advice, Karina wanted to resolve it on her own.

“You must have forgotten already. Or maybe you don’t know yet.”

“Pardon?”

Asillis closed the document he had been reading. His firm fingers tapped the desk rhythmically.

“Who is it that should be apologizing?”

It was a habit of his that surfaced when he was angry. Karina stopped fidgeting with her hands.

‘Don’t say you’re sorry. Apologies are only for those who’ve done something wrong.’

As Karina struggled to find her words, Asillis leaned closer to the desk. Tilting his head slightly, as if deep in thought, he continued.

“Now that I think about it, you’re not entirely blameless.”

“…”

“You made your mother and me look like indifferent parents who don’t care about their child, didn’t you?”

“Father.”

Startled, Karina called out to him, but Asillis gave a faint smile.

The corners of his lips lifted, but it looked more bitter than anything else. Karina, at a loss for words, lowered her gaze.

“I apologize for hiding what happened yesterday. If you’re asking whether I feel sorry, I don’t.”

He sighed as he spoke. Karina shook her head. She hadn’t come here to hear that.

“No, it’s not that. I just…”

“There’s no need to explain. Do you think a father doesn’t understand his daughter’s heart?”

Asillis shook his head as if it was unnecessary. Then, with a slightly softened expression, he leaned back.

“You wanted to handle it on your own. You thought that, having endured this much, you should finish it yourself.”

Karina averted her gaze, feeling guilty. His words perfectly described her thoughts.

It had been nothing but useless stubbornness and a determination to chastise herself for her pathetic behavior. Nodding as if he understood, Asillis suddenly locked eyes with her.

“There’s no need for that.”

His tone was firmer and more certain than ever before.

“I was afraid you’d cry like that again. Afraid you’d come back hurt again. That’s why I thought you didn’t need to handle it alone.”

Feeling the concern in his words, Karina barely held back the emotions welling up inside her. Looking at him again, she realized her father had the same eyes as her mother.

“There’s no need to understand. It’s just my selfishness and foolishness.”

At some point, Asillis had fully returned to his usual demeanor. Karina lowered her head deeply. She felt foolish for failing to realize the most important thing—that her parents were the ones who had been most hurt by everything that had happened.

A small laugh reached Karina’s ears. Though he was sitting at a distance, it felt as if he were right beside her.

“You can resent me for being a bad parent. I wouldn’t deny it.”

A document slipped from the pile on his desk. Asillis caught it and placed it in front of himself.

“But there’s one thing I’d like you to know.”

“…”

“Being a bad parent is far less frightening to me than being an indifferent one.”

His voice was slightly hoarse as he finished speaking. His hand, trembling slightly, pressed a seal onto the document with steady determination. Karina bit her lip. Her head, weighed down by guilt, couldn’t rise.

***

The sound of a door closing echoed down the hallway. Phyllis walked away with a hardened expression. In his hand was the letter of annulment from Duke Edelin’s household. It was news he had heard from his father, who had returned a few days ago.

‘The Edelin Duchy has requested to annul the engagement.’

After parting ways with Karina, he had gone to the Ducal residence but hadn’t been able to meet her. Even though he had expected it, his heart felt as if it had sunk to the ground.

Ian Herwin, speaking to Phyllis, who stared at the ground with a heavy heart, had said in a dry tone:

‘There’s no need to explain. It’s not a big deal.’

‘…’

‘You may leave.’

That indifference had been infuriating. The dismissal of his broken engagement with Karina as if it were a trivial matter.

Phyllis bit his inner lip hard as he climbed the stairs. His footsteps led him to the room at the very end of the third-floor hallway. Knocking cautiously, he waited until the door opened, revealing a familiar face.

“Who is it…? Phyllis?”

“Cornell.”

Cornell, rubbing her eyes, spoke in a sleepy tone. Phyllis hesitated briefly before speaking.

“I… I’ve decided to break off my engagement with Karina.”