‘I should be happy.’

Yeon swallowed dryly. Her throat hurt, as if it were swollen. It was strange. Her legs were sore and swollen, as you would expect after standing all day, but there was no reason for her throat to ache.

Even so, she felt as if she had a fever — chills repeatedly washed over her, then subsided.

As her vision blurred, Yeon lowered her gaze to the floor, then lifted it again. Ryu was looking at her, the man who hadn’t once glanced her way throughout the entire wedding ceremony.

She quickly turned her head away and swallowed. Her heart pounded.

She didn’t bother wiping the sweat running down her face; instead, she tried to steady her wavering vision.

The wedding dragged on until very late.

Yeon returned to Hwain Palace. She was exhausted, but told herself that it would soon be over if she just endured a little longer.

She thought of the bridal chamber she had prepared and imagined the Emperor and Empress together in it. The Grand Empress Dowager had personally instructed her to prepare the room for the Empress.

Yeon replied quietly, “Yes,” without even nodding.

If there had been other consorts, she might have prepared everything with their help, but as Ryu’s only concubine, she had no choice but to take care of everything herself, despite being pregnant.

Ignoring her exhaustion, Yeon began setting up the wedding night table alone.

Yeon had ordered a table to be set up in the bridal chamber with liquor, chestnut rice cakes, and a few simple, seasonal side dishes. Having made sure that the table was set with only ingredients that Ryu liked, she instructed the court ladies to deliver it in her place.

Suddenly, she was reminded of that morning.

Although she hadn’t visited Yanmyeong for a while, she had once gone there to prepare the bed for the emperor and empress.

She dusted the pillow on which she had once rested her head on Ryu’s arm, replacing the old blanket they had shared with a new one. Then she carefully placed a handkerchief embroidered with pomegranates and butterflies on the pillow.

Pomegranates symbolise many offspring, and butterflies represent marital harmony. Together, they conveyed the hope that the couple would be blessed with many children and enjoy a happy marriage.

Yeon had poured her heart into preparing for Ryu’s wedding. Every detail was flawless.

It was for herself.

She felt that only by giving her utmost effort would she be free from regret.

This was truly something she had long wished for. Raising Ryu into a fine adult hadn’t taken just a year or two. When she first held baby Ryu in her arms, she promised herself that she would love him with all her heart until he grew into a handsome young man and married a beautiful bride.

Today was that day. She had to give it her all until the very end.

“Take it as it is.”

Yeon carefully placed the medicinal wine she had brewed three years ago, ensuring it sat perfectly upright. Then, she issued her orders to the court ladies.

Having prepared everything without even removing her ceremonial attire, exhaustion weighed more heavily upon her. She wished only to lie down. With a subtle glance, she signaled to the attendants.

“Your Highness, shall I summon the royal physician?”

“At this hour?”

“I thought I saw a bloodstain showing through your underskirt.”

Yeongji, the lady-in-waiting helping Yeon out of her ceremonial robe.

Yeon lowered her gaze. She inspected the slip peeking out beneath her robes. The day had been so hectic that she couldn’t remember how it had ended up like this.

She quietly bit her lip. She had experienced occasional spotting even before her first pregnancy, but everything changed after she took abortion pills during that time.

Yeon felt her heavy eyelids quiver faintly as she hurried to remove the ceremonial robe, overwhelmed by a wave of confusion. Yeongji said nothing, simply helping her to undress.

“Your Highness.”

“It’s nothing.”

“But still…”

“I’ve always had occasional spotting.”

To her, it wasn’t entirely unusual. Even before she became pregnant, her body often reacted this way, especially when she was unwell or when Ryu was too rough during s*x in a moment of excessive passion.

Ever since she had taken the abortion medication, her menstrual cycle had become irregular. She assumed that her womb had been damaged, which was the cause.

“But Your Highness, you are currently carrying a child in your womb…”

Yeongji parted her trembling lips to speak. With a furrowed brow and the ceremonial robe draped over her arm, she appeared genuinely concerned.

Yeon couldn’t bring herself to respond. She knew exactly what Yeongji was worried about.

She wasn’t alone — she was pregnant, and now that she had entered her second trimester, she really should see the royal physician.

“Your Highness.”

“Tonight is His Majesty’s bridal night, isn’t it?”

“Even so…”

“I’m afraid news of anything happening in Hwain Palace might reach him.”

“But His Majesty is the baby’s father — he has every right to know.”

Yeongji murmured softly, seemingly unable to comprehend Yeon’s reaction.

Yeon clutched her lower abdomen and gently bit her lip.

When Yeongji called out, ‘Your Highness,’ urging her again, Yeon shook her head.

Ryu cherished the child.

He valued this baby just as much as he valued her. Even when he seemed furious and acted as though he couldn’t stand to look at her, he never forgot to check on the baby every day.

Although her belly had not grown enough for the baby’s presence to be obvious, he looked at it as if the baby were already there, breathing softly.

The fact that he always asked, “Is the baby doing well today?” spoke volumes about how much he loved their child.

She thought it was unexpected of him.

Having lost both his parents, Ryu couldn’t remember his father’s face. Many people had tried to be a mother to him, but no one in the palace could replace a father.

And yet Ryu had become a father, overflowing with paternal love.

This was precisely why Yeon didn’t want him to find out that the royal physician had been summoned because she had spotted blood at such a crucial time.

Even if she tried to hide it, he would find out eventually. If he found out that she had hidden a problem with the baby, he would be even angrier.

Yeon no longer wanted to be at odds with him.

His coldness was hard enough to endure as it was.

“That’s enough, It’s the Empress’s first night in the palace. I don’t want His Majesty to pay attention to the child right now.”

With those final words, Yeon ended the conversation with Yeongji. She told herself that a bit of rest would make her feel better.

After all, it had been such an exhausting day. With that thought, Yeon gently caressed her lower belly.

***

The bridal chamber that Yeon had prepared was exquisitely beautiful.

Ryu, stiff with nerves, slowly walked towards the bed, Suin standing beside him, frozen to the spot.

The bedding, said to have been dusted and changed by Yeon herself, looked brand new.

He picked up the silk handkerchief embroidered with pomegranates and butterflies.

He couldn’t fathom how Yeon could expend so much effort preparing the wedding chamber for another woman when she was pregnant with his child.

Was she truly unaffected by all this, even now? Did she feel no sense of threat? Was it because Suin was a child Yeon had once cared for?

“Her nature is as clear as a jade bead, and her bearing is pure—what do you think of the character ‘Suk’?”

Suddenly, he heard his grandmother’s calm voice echoing in his mind.

This was from the time they had visited Gyeongin Palace to decide on Yeon’s honorific title. Three character options had been proposed:

‘Wan’, meaning graceful and lovable in appearance;

‘Suk’, meaning a nature as clear and pure as polished jade;

And ‘Hee’, evoking a sense of delicate, luminous beauty.

His grandmother had recommended ‘Suk’.

It truly suited Yeon. She was clear in both name and nature.

Her skin was as transparent as her gaze; her dark ebony hair was swept up to reveal the soft line of her neck; and her slender shoulders and radiant beauty were clear and luminous.

But were the emotions that crossed her face just as genuine?

Ryu simply nodded in agreement in front of his grandmother.

Already picturing Suin’s entrance into the palace, the Grand Empress Dowager had declared that Yeon must continue to serve the Empress and carry out her duties as before.

Ryu thought of Suin. She was Yeon’s younger sister. They had come from the same womb, shared the same mother and the same father.

Suin, Yongwoo and Yonghwan — the two sons of the Duke of Seoguk — were Yeon’s siblings too.

Very few people, even those familiar with the inner workings of the duke’s household, knew the truth — but Ryu did.

Yeon and Suin shared the same mother and father. Yet Yeon remained the daughter of a lowly palace maid, while Suin was raised as the noble daughter of the Duke of Seoguk.

This disparity and deceit sometimes twisted his insides.

“Your Majesty.”

“Did you see your sister’s face today?”

“Pardon?”

“I mean Lady Sukbi.”

“Sukbi, she…”

“She looked perfectly fine. Just as pale and delicate as always.”

“Your Majesty…”

“I have always wondered—if I brought you here, what kind of face would your sister make?”

Yeon was carrying his child.

He had thought that might change things — that, once she was pregnant, she would see him differently.

Perhaps she would finally see him as a man.

But no matter what, she always acted like the adult. Despite being only eight years older, she took on the role with such conviction.

Nevertheless, he was the man who had impregnated Yeon.

As shameful and crude as the act was, repeated endlessly day and night, it resulted in her becoming pregnant with his child.

That made him her man.

Yet Yeon never changed her demeanour.

She had wept more than once, calling the pregnancy ‘a mistake’, as though becoming parents were an unnatural and forbidden act; as though they had committed a sin against heaven.

So he decided to bring Suin into the palace.

He wanted to see how Yeon would react.

Now that she was carrying his child, he thought she would at least feel threatened by Suin’s presence.