CHAPTER 8 – Dependence, Salvation (Part 1)

Wrapped in Cedric’s outer garment, Lillian entered his bedroom in his arms, and they made love until daylight.

“Let’s do it one more time.”

“Again?”

“Why are you so surprised?”

They didn’t do it enough times to make her eyes roll back in her head. It was only the sixth time. Cedric was frustrated, but when he saw Lillian’s eyes widen like a stallion in heat, he was speechless.

“You’re not like this…….”

“You just don’t know me well.”

“I doubt anyone else has observed you as long as I have…….”

“There’s more to everyone than meets the eye.”

Covering her chest with the sheet, she hesitantly sat up.

“You weren’t like this. You were a person of abstinence.”

She gave him a wary look.

“You weren’t like this when you were in the Knighthood.”

“That was the rule there. But here, I am the rule.”

“…But still.”

Cedric decided to back off. He had no intention of pestering Lillian further.

“We have tomorrow, Cedric. Tonight is not the end…….”

Had he pushed for more, she would have insisted on seeing Father Johann to check if this sudden change wasn’t some kind of possession.

“Come here. I won’t push you further.”

Cedric soothed the frightened woman.

Lillian approached him with hesitant steps like a wild cat on a reconnaissance mission. His large hands gently stroked her head and back, soothing her.

“You’ve changed too much, Cedric.”

Her voice, softly murmuring as if wandering between sleep and reality, reached him.

“But I still… love you.”

He loved the sound of her voice in the stillness of his bedroom.

Gradually, the rhythmic breathing of her deep sleep filled the room.

Finally, Cedric’s mouth opened.

“I don’t like someone being above me. That trait got me stuck in the knighthood, thanks to my observant mother.”

So he was leashed and chained to the Knighthood.

He thought he could endure it under the glorious feet of the Heavenly Father of heaven and earth.

“But someone whispered to me, telling me to break free from the collar and be free. Lillian… it was you.”

If she were to know what sin he had committed to get to this point.

‘Could you still say you love me then?’

But Cedric didn’t regret it at all.

When he returned, it was with the determination to rightfully become the master of his family. It was the house he left with such resolve. He only reclaimed his promised place.

‘So, isn’t everything peaceful now?’

Still stroking her flat belly, he kissed the cheek of the woman who had fallen asleep.

“Hurry and conceive my child. Then we can escape this abyss.”

Sure, it would be a while, but…….

* * *

That night.

Cedric and the b*by angels appeared in Lillian’s dream.

[Marianne! Marianne! It’s Mommy and Daddy!]

At first, she was delighted, but the b*by angels were very hostile to the two.

As Lillian approached excitedly, they sprinkled holy water on them with disdainful eyes.

[What mommy and daddy! You’re devils!]

[Yeah, demons! Get out of here!]

[Go away!]

Seeing that they misunderstood the two as vile demons, it didn’t seem like a dream brought by Marianne.

‘It’s a complete nightmare….’

Waking up from her sleep, Lillian had a premonition that hardship was coming. It felt like a prophecy.

And true to her intuition, it wasn’t long before she heard the bad news.

“The Emperor’s disapproval has been issued.”

It was an imperial decree that their marriage could never be permitted. At the same time, a notice arrived from the clergy stating that they couldn’t collect the marriage permit fee from Lilian Primrose. 

“What?”

She had been having a late breakfast or early lunch after a sleepless night. But what…

She was bewildered by the sudden imperial decree and the official letter from the clergy. How could they refuse to accept taxes she hadn’t even paid? Lillian was puzzled.

“Have you been organizing the wedding behind my back?” 

“Because you are too leisurely.”

So even the country had to hurry.

Cedric’s explanation was very concise. He whispered stories to her, but there was no hint of hesitation in the face of the man who calmly savored tea alone.

‘So this is how the duke’s affairs are handled…….’

It had only been two days ago that he had become the heir to the dukedom, held his father’s funeral, and received the consent of all the vassals to take the throne.

It was the moment she personally witnessed his drive to handle the affairs of this vast family like child’s play. 

“Although we didn’t receive permission from His Majesty, the Emperor…”

He smiled, lifting his cup.

“Aren’t we united in the eyes of the Holy Lord? That’s enough for me. What about you?”

“Well, yes… of course…”

She didn’t dare say otherwise, lest she provoke something.

Despite her deep love for Cedric, Lillian was terrified of those subtly crazed eyes. She had long passed the point where she could handle what he could unleash.

“If your intentions align with mine.”

Cedric had already anticipated the situation of not getting permission for the marriage. If the permission had come too easily, it would have raised suspicions about the Emperor’s sincerity.

The alternative was the real plan he had prepared.

“Let’s go to my estate.”

“To your estate?”

It was a place likened to a paradise in the songs of bards.

But because it was too far from the capital, it was almost like an isolated island within the empire.

“Yes, let’s live there, just the two of us.”

Cedric’s true feelings were as such. Despite becoming the mistress of the duchy, Lillian wanted to continue working as a priestess, separate from the duties of the estate.

The moment she stepped out of the jurisdiction of the priesthood, she would be stripped of the title “Viscountess Primrose.” While this was merely an honorary title that could not be inherited, it was still precious to Lillian, second only to Cedric.

In her current situation, where she could be called a lady but not a duchess, Cedric understood.

But he hated that Lillian had to travel back and forth to the Order of the Silver Cross for her priestly duties. It was sickeningly tiresome.

The gazes that looked at her as if licking her under the guise of friendship. The hands that reached out without hesitation under the pretext of friendship.

It was all mockery.

“I wish I were the only close man by your side.”

“We’re just friends…….”

If that’s what friendship was, Cedric had never had a friend. Not that he actually had one…

“The men around you are never just friends, Lillian.”

Cedric asserted.

“If anyone has seen you for a long time, they would have fallen in love with you, no matter what kind of man they are.”

Falling in love with Lillian was an irresistible pull, like the ebb and flow of the tide.

“On my land, I want you to belong only to me.”

“…….”

Lillian couldn’t bring herself to say anything in response and simply gazed at him absentmindedly.

She wouldn’t have liked this proposal. Cedric had already anticipated as much. Unlike him, she was a sociable person.

It was frankly unfair.

Around Lillian, there were hundreds of men swarming like dirty mice. But Cedric was one of the few men she’d even engaged in conversation with.

Cedric let out a shallow sigh.

“You probably hate me for this. I know it’s selfish. But…”

“Say it again.”

“I’m selfish…….”

“No, not that.”

Her sparkling eyes held a blind determination, like a puppy waiting for its owner.

“It’s what you said about wanting to belong only to you, and I want to hear it again.”

“On my land…… I want you to belong only to me.”

Lillian bit her lip, her hands clasped tightly together, abandoning even the butter knife as she cried out in what seemed like overwhelming emotion.

“This can’t all be a dream, can it…? If it is, I hope I never wake up from it, please!”

The thought of Cedric desperately wanting her, even selfishly wanting to possess her, sent Lillian into a deep state of happiness.

“Cedric loves me…… this man loves me, loves me……!”

It seemed like a puppy’s tail wagging in his eyes. She found herself pitiful yet amusing for finding herself even fantasizing because she found him too cute… even if it was through her glasses.

Covering the corners of his mouth that threatened to burst into laughter, he coughed hard.

“It’s not a dream.”

“Well, obviously not. I’ve never dreamt anything like this before! Only dreams relevant to the subject.”

Lillian felt like dancing, but she couldn’t help but worry about the rest of the Edelgard family.

“Will you be allowed to live on your estate……?

To be honest, it was a huge problem for the ducal family.

The noble Edelgard family, as court nobles, had served in the capital for generations.

But for the owner of the powerful Duchy, who wielded great influence in the capital, gave up everything and went to a distant estate…

“Then let’s consider it as relocating. We just need to prepare.”

“…….”

The gossip might say that Cedric, a lifelong knight, has been cast out of courtly society for marrying a commoner…….

‘No, let’s not think too negatively.’

After a moment’s deliberation, Lillian finally nodded.

“Yes, that would be fine with me. It’s the duty of a subject to act as His Majesty wishes.”

“…….”

Cedric’s hand on his teacup paused.

“Even heroes must be expelled from the capital to enthrone the crown prince. I would do the same.”

Spreading butter on a piece of bread, Lillian casually added.

“We’re simply leaving in our best interests, Cedric.”

While he might have been just a knight under the Holy Court, Cedric was now the head of one of the three most powerful noble houses in the Empire.

The man is known as the Sword of the Church, the executor of the Holy Court. Now, he found it hard to enjoy living in the imperial palace, burdened not only with honor but also with power. It was clear that he would be a thorn in the side of the Emperor and the Crown Prince.

Moreover, if Lillian continued to use her duties as an excuse to frequent the palace. Everyone would easily misunderstand and assume she was engaging in illicit activities.

‘Then I might end up drinking poisoned tea one day.’

And silently perish…

“Ugh, leave the capital quickly.”

She shuddered involuntarily.

Lillian, who had risked her life on the battlefield, now only wished for a peaceful and long life.

Since she had acquired Cedric, a beautiful gem.

The man she’d never dared to hope for, the man she’d once harbored an unrequited love for her, had become her man…

‘How can I die, I absolutely can’t die like this.’

If she had to die, she wanted to be buried beside him. Of course, that couldn’t happen.

“Hey, Cedric.”

As they were leaving the capital against their will, Lillian brought up the issue that had been weighing on her mind. 

“Please don’t take this the wrong way, but listen.”

“Go ahead, tell me.”

The warm morning sunlight settled on his soft golden hair. Leaning back lightly in his chair, while gazing at her intently, he seemed like an angel descended upon this earth, a truth not fabricated.

But… his inner darkness was boundless.

The image of the night he had driven her so brutally, uttering filthy words not even men on the street would use, flashed before her eyes. Lillian struggled to turn her head and avoid Cedric’s gaze.

“Before we leave the capital, I was wondering if you’d like to stop by…… and see Father Johann.”

She genuinely worried about Cedric’s condition. The demon of lust was said to appear only at night, unlike other demons…

“Maybe have a check-up to see if there are any signs… I’ll be there with you. Okay? I’ll even hold your hand.”

Whether he took it as a joke or not, he chuckled and tapped the table with his fingertip.

“I’ve already had it checked.”

“And the…… result?”

Nervously, Lillian crushed the bread she was holding in her hand.

Cedric, who had been staring at her, slowly opened his lips.

“Perfectly normal.”

“Is that…… really true?”

It didn’t seem quite like that… Lillian’s face was filled with disbelief.

He cast a stern gaze upon her. Pouring tea into her empty cup, Cedric recited a passage from the scriptures.

“Those who believe need no evidence…”

“Moreover, to those who do not believe, no evidence will suffice. Right. That’s true but…”

‘Could it be that Priest Johann didn’t dare to speak the truth because of Cedric’s honor and reputation? After all, the two of them had a certain friendship.’

“Let’s go. Let’s create our own paradise.”

Lillian took his hand again, though she was nervous about adjusting to life on what was already a self-governing island.

Although adapting to what was practically an autonomous territory was somewhat worrisome, Lillian still took his hand.

She was already prepared.

She had decided long ago, more than ten years ago, that she would follow this man wherever he went, even if it meant going to hell.