Let’s Live Together - ✿ dusk blossoms ✿

-60-

The night had given way to the long-awaited dawn. I woke up at a time when I would usually be deep in sleep. Even last night, I struggled to fall asleep despite knowing I needed rest for today’s plans. My body didn’t respond to my earnest desire for sleep, perhaps a sign of how anxious I was, even though I hadn’t realized it.

My current state of mind was quite complicated. Why hadn’t the original story mentioned anything about Roan having a half-sibling?

“…Well, it’s not like the book told everything.”

The novel only reflected a fraction of the world I experienced. And that too was because I had awakened as Delis. If I had been reincarnated as a commoner or in a different country altogether, I would have seen and heard a completely different world.

Of course, even in that situation, I would have felt sorry for Roan and tried to come here somehow. Thinking this made me realize how fortunate I was to have reincarnated as Delis.

Eventually, I spent the early morning wide awake. I didn’t feel particularly tired, my mind was already alert with thoughts. I rang the bell beside my bed, guessing that the servants would be up by now. It wasn’t long before Mary entered the room.

“My Lady, you’re up early today.”

“I woke up early today. Probably because we’re leaving.”

“Me too! I’m so excited to be leaving the estate for the first time in a while.”

Mary also didn’t look like she had just woken up. She seemed excited for different reasons. Mary had decided to come with me.

Originally, I said I could go alone since we’d be back soon, but Victor, the butler, and Ellen, the head maid, insisted that someone should accompany me. They were so adamant that I couldn’t refuse.

Jafflin, after all, was still a man, and they must have been worried. Given the tragic history of the previous Duke and Duchess, their reaction was understandable. They were probably the ones who wanted Roan and me to have a good relationship the most. So, I decided to bring a few trustworthy maids with me.

I hadn’t told anyone yet about Roan’s potential half-sibling. Should I tell Alexandra? I was still debating that. If the child was indeed Roan’s brother, Alexandra wouldn’t be an outsider. The child would be the illegitimate offspring of her deceased husband.

Considering her strained relationship with Roan, I was both afraid and curious about her reaction.

“Haaa.”

It all came back to that insufferable infidelity. If the former Duke were alive, I would want to slap him for his recklessness. From Alexandra’s perspective, the one to blame was already gone, vanished.

What would her reaction be if I told her about the child?

Would she get angry? Or would she show resignation, having already gone through such betrayal? Would she refuse to see the child? That seemed a likely scenario.

Why was I the one dealing with this dilemma? Frustration towards Roan’s father, whom I only knew through the book, surged within me, alternating with worry.

‘…But Alexandra will find out anyway.’

Whether I tell her now or later, she will eventually learn about the child. We can’t leave the child in such a harsh place if he is indeed Roan’s brother.

It’s better to face it sooner. Given that we’re dealing with a ticking time bomb, it’s better to give her a chance to understand sooner. Resolving to do so, I walked towards Alexandra’s bedroom with heavy steps.

‘This is my first time here.’

I stood before a door exuding an antique charm. Though I had come with firm resolve, standing before the door, I hesitated to knock.

Why am I hesitating now? Just as I was about to force myself to knock, a voice called out from behind me.

“What brings you here?”

“Gah!”

The expected voice came from behind, not the room. Turning around, I saw Alexandra looking at me curiously.

“Oh, hello?”

My greeting sounded awkward even to my ears.

“We always seem to meet like this.”

Alexandra replied with a slightly puzzled expression.

“…It seems so. Though it’s never been intentional. But why are you here? Aren’t you busy getting ready?”

“I have something to tell you.”

“Something to tell me?”

Her glass-like eyes sparkled with interest.

“What is it?”

I felt a cold sweat trickle down as her gaze focused on me. There was no turning back now.

Seeing me hesitate, she let out a hum and suggested,

“Let’s go inside first. It doesn’t seem like a conversation to have at the door.”

Where should I begin? Even up to the moment I sat down on the jewel-adorned chair, I was fiercely contemplating.

But no matter how I said it, or how I tried to phrase it indirectly, it was an utter disaster. Why did it fall to me to tell Alexandra about this? My mind was now trying to avoid responsibility.

The complex thoughts trailing one another were interrupted by the sound of Alexandra placing her teacup on its saucer. Removing her hands from the teacup, she spoke in a joking manner, as if she found the situation quite amusing.

“Come on now, tell me. What is it that’s making you look like a dog desperate to relieve itself?”

“…”

Unable to find a starting point for my words, I eventually blurted out a question.

“What kind of person was the late Duke?”

Alexandra’s elegantly sculpted face hardened like a marble statue upon hearing my question.

“Why are you asking that? Haven’t I told you before?”

Her eyes, which were now questioning me in return, exuded the same coldness I had seen in the past.

“He was a man to whom the words arrogant and self-centered suited best. Like many nobles of his time, debauchery was a given, and he was a selfish person who cared only for himself.”

It was like looking at a withered branch in the dead of winter. Alexandra’s words were filled with a coldness that seemed like not a drop of blood would emerge. With a chilling expression, she suddenly let out a sneer.

“…Heh. Indeed, it was because he was like that that he ended up with me.”

Her green eyes bore a kind of bitterness that could be called profound. Eventually, her gaze, which had been staring into space, turned back to me.

“So, what’s the reason for bringing this up?”

Even in the past, I felt that whenever Alexandra mentioned the late Duke, she showed such contradictory emotions. If she hadn’t cared much about her husband, there wouldn’t have been any reason to reveal such old feelings. She could have just ignored it.

The depth of her feelings certainly meant that the Duke held some kind of significance to her, whether good or bad. This made me even more reluctant to say what I wanted to say.

So, I decided to ask. It was a question I had always wanted to ask but had avoided, feeling like it was stepping into forbidden territory. It was an answer I needed to hear someday.

“In that case… what do you think of Roan?”

“…I have no idea what you’re trying to say.”

For once, Alexandra’s expression showed confusion.

Unlike with the late Duke, whom I had never seen, I couldn’t fathom what kind of emotions Roan and Alexandra held for each other. It seemed insignificant yet heavy.

“…”

Alexandra remained silent. I was suddenly struck by how her cold, expressionless face resembled Roan’s. Despite their different appearances, it was fascinating how they could project the same aura.

“That child is…”

Alexandra closed her eyes deeply and then slowly reopened them. My eyes widened as I stared at her. Surprisingly, she exuded a sense of pain that hadn’t been there when she mentioned the late Duke.

However, the words that came out of her mouth were quite detached from that feeling.

“He is the head of the Bannister family. Thanks to him, the family has flourished even more, and that is an undeniable fact.”

“That’s not…”

That’s not what I meant to say. The words welled up in my mouth.

The curiosity about why she reacted so differently to her son, Roan, compared to her husband, whom she had not hidden her emotions about, was hard to bear.

But if I asked again now, I felt I would see that same look in her eyes. I decided to stop asking for now.

“Just get to the point. Why are you asking me these things?”

Her tone was firm, as if she would no longer tolerate any beating around the bush. I licked my dry lips once.

“If…”

Phew. The words didn’t come easily. I tried to hypnotize myself into believing everything would be okay and finally forced myself to say what I really didn’t want to.

“If there were another child like Roan, what would you do?”

“…What?”

Alexandra furrowed her brow slightly, seeming not to understand my words.

“What do you mean?”

I gripped the hem of my dress tightly under the table and spoke.

“Literally, if there were another child like Roan… another illegitimate child of the late Duke.”

“…….”

A silence like the calm before a storm ensued. Alexandra sat upright, seemingly frozen by my words. Neither of us spoke, trapped in a profound and oppressive silence.

Soon, Alexandra’s voice broke the stillness, devoid of emotion, like a piece of ice breaking away.

“…Another child like him?”

“Possibly.”

Alexandra narrowed her eyes and asked me.

“How do you know that?”

I explained in detail what Jafflin had told me. As I finished, she remained silent, lifting one corner of her mouth.

“…Ha.”

She let out a breathy laugh.

“Hahaha.”

But I couldn’t laugh. Her laughter felt hollow, as if empty inside.

“Indeed… it’s not entirely impossible.”

Her hollow laughter echoed through the room. Though she chuckled for a while, her eyes were not smiling.