Chapter 4.5

The man disappeared without a trace, as if nothing had happened. Almost as if the previous night had been a dream. 

Erta had tried several times to stay conscious this time, but… 

‘I failed again.’ 

He had pushed her to the point of losing consciousness, making it impossible for her to stay awake. 

She had been continuously violated in the bathtub until she passed out. 

When she opened her eyes, she was in bed. 

If there was anything disappointing about yesterday, it was that she had only been tormented with magical artifacts. 

‘I guess it’s because I didn’t talk about anything besides magical artifacts.’ 

Erta somewhat regretted her third confession at the cathedral. 

I should have studied more extensively before going! 

Next time, she would need to do more in-depth research. 

‘So what kind of studying should I do?’ 

Erta’s mind was filled only with thoughts about what to discuss at Bondridge Cathedral. 

As much as she wanted to visit every day, if the man tormented her to unconsciousness each time, she might actually die from it. 

She also felt it might be too cruel to the man. 

‘A weekly interval seems appropriate after all.’ 

Erta came to this conclusion on her own and diligently sought reference materials to study for a week later. 

‘What? There are multiple ways of binding?’ 

‘Oh, there’s also the act of being stepped on, not just being hit.’ 

A week later. As usual, Erta arrived at Bondridge Cathedral with her appearance concealed.

Strangely, she felt more at ease each time she came here. 

‘Yes, I just need to get married!’ 

She found it problematic how her mental hurdles toward marriage lowered each time her s*xual desires were satisfied, but what could she do? 

S*xual desire was one of the three basic human needs, after all. 

Besides, with only three weeks left until the wedding, it meant she wouldn’t be able to go out freely like this for much longer. 

‘Perhaps I should come once every three days rather than weekly.’ 

With these happy thoughts, Erta turned the doorknob with an excited heart. Her chest swelled with anticipation. 

Click- 

The now-familiar small room welcomed Erta warmly.

As Erta quickly took her seat and drew breath to share what she had learned with the person on the other side of the hole… 

“Are you ready to confess anything to God? Remember that the Lord watches over both you and me.” 

‘Huh?’ 

But the response from the other side was slightly different. It was as if they were addressing a stranger. 

The tone was still reverent, like reading scripture, but somehow it felt like a different person. 

‘No, I might be wrong.’

Erta tried to ignore her uneasiness and opened the conversation.

Perhaps they might be confused if many people were coming for confession these days. 

“Excuse me? It’s, it’s me. I… want to talk about the usual things.” 

She thought he would recognize her immediately and start the conversation, but the other side remained silent. 

“I see. Then please speak. What sins have you come to atone for before the Lord?” 

It was certain. This wasn’t the same priest. 

Erta hesitated. But eventually, she began to speak.

Even if the priest had changed, she needed to share her story at Bondridge so that man would visit her.

If he was monitoring her every move. 

“I… I would like to be treated roughly. I imagine how wonderful it would be to have my entire body tightly bound with ropes, to be stepped on while hearing degrading words.” 

“…Have you come to atone for contemplating such abnormally sadistic acts?”

‘Ab-abnormal?’ 

Erta was taken aback. 

“No, rather than abnormal, I wanted to talk about my personal preferences…” 

“Sister, it seems you are troubled by your abnormal s*xual preferences.” 

No matter what Erta tried to say, he treated her like someone engaging in deviant s*xual acts. 

The priest’s reaction dampened Erta’s mood.

The previous priest had listened to her stories as if they were his own. 

Erta no longer wanted to continue her confession in front of this priest. 

“I’d like to stop here for today. I’ll be leaving now.” 

As Erta quickly concluded and left the cathedral, her eyes were downcast. 

In the carriage returning to the Marquis’s residence, Erta’s mind was filled with thoughts about the priest. 

‘Why did he change?’ 

She was puzzled. He had always been there to greet her, but had he gone somewhere else?

She had studied so hard, yet couldn’t even have a proper conversation. 

Talking freely with that priest had given her a sense of relief, but now she felt stifled again after failing to have a proper conversation just once. 

‘But the man will still… come, won’t he?’ 

After all, she had shared her story, so wouldn’t the man visit? 

That night, Erta fell asleep without abandoning her last hope.

And until she opened her eyes again in the morning, nothing happened.

***

‘Why, why isn’t he coming!’ 

Another week had passed since that day. Only two weeks remained until the wedding. 

In fact, Erta had visited Bondridge Cathedral about two more times in between. 

But the chair in the once-comfortable room now felt tilted and uncomfortable.

That was because of the priest’s reaction on the other side. 

Whenever Erta brought something up, the priest would initially be flustered, then treat Erta as if she were some kind of s*xual deviant. 

“I hope you will train and discipline your mind and body to escape from such wrong pleasures.”

Afterward, she was even lectured about having to hide her desires. 

Despite her efforts to share new fantasies, the man never visited her again after that day.

Like a sandcastle, everything had disappeared without a trace. 

Erta couldn’t contain her frustration.

If she had never known, perhaps it wouldn’t matter. But she had already experienced that pleasure. And now she could no longer meet either the priest or the man. 

It felt like something invisible was tightly squeezing her chest.

Finding either the priest or the man seemed impossible. 

Yet when she tried to recall, she knew nothing about the priest. Not his name, face, or age.

Of course, the same was true for the man. 

‘Ah, blond hair.’ 

There was just one thing she knew about that man. That he had blond hair.

When she had struggled to lift her eyelids to see him briefly, she had glimpsed bright blond hair. 

But finding a specific person based on blond hair alone was nearly impossible.

Especially considering how many blond people Erta knew. 

‘…Come to think of it, the Duke of Ephelmar’s son was blond too.’ 

Even her fiancé was blond, for that matter.

***

Still, shouldn’t I try going the third time? Twice wasn’t enough, but just once more.

Erta wanted to visit Bondridge Cathedral one last time before her marriage. 

Besides, by now she had some suspicions.

That there was a connection between that man and the priest. 

Since the man had stopped coming after the priest disappeared.

The man who always spoke to Erta in a firm, commanding tone, and the priest who conversed with Erta in a holy manner as if reading scripture. 

It was hard to be certain they were the same person because their speech patterns were so different, but the timing was curious.

She had a feeling that if she found that priest, she would find that man as well. 

‘This is truly the last time.’

Erta decided that if the priest wasn’t there this time, she would give up. 

“Miss. We’ve arrived. However….” 

The carriage stopped in front of the cathedral. But there was trouble in the coachman’s voice as he announced their arrival. 

“What’s wrong?”

 She had a bad feeling. 

“The cathedral seems to be… closed, miss…” 

“What…?”