Chapter 1: The Berkshire Family Became Her Lifeline Part 16

Her heart pounded so rapidly she worried he might hear it.

Every nerve seemed to converge on her back where his strong arm embraced her.

Somehow, being held by Tamilan made Marien bite her lip.

Despite it being early summer, it felt oppressively hot.

“……”

Seeing Marien grow even more rigid instead of relaxing, Tamilan drew her even closer to his side.

Her soft, slender figure fit perfectly in his embrace, light enough to be easily supported with just one arm.

When she lowered her head, the nape of her neck, delicate and translucent between her neatly braided hair, was revealed.

As he quietly gazed at her nape and earlobe, which were blushing a soft pink, a faint, sweet fragrance wafted up, gently stimulating his sense of smell.

Tamilan was seized by a sudden urge to bury his face into her nape and deeply inhale her scent.

He must be crazy.

He ran a hand over his face, trying to steady his disheveled breathing.

Closing his eyes briefly in an attempt to curb the reckless thoughts surging forth, he reopened them to find his blue eyes still smoldering with a faint yet persistent thirst.

“We’re about to set off, so lean your body completely against me. Otherwise, it’ll only be harder for you.”

“……”

When he whispered in a tone that was uncharacteristically husky and subdued, Marien trembled. If one could be ensnared merely by a voice, this was precisely the moment.

Marien was so overwhelmed that she didn’t even realize how she arrived at her destination. Although the collection hadn’t even begun, the moment she dismounted from the horse, she felt an intense wave of exhaustion.

Perhaps interpreting her tension as fear of horseback riding, Tamilan guided the horse slowly.

Even so, the pace was faster than walking, so it was a relief that the journey didn’t take long.

“Are you alright?”

“Yes. I’m fine. It’s just that this was my first time riding a horse…”

While he tied the reins to a nearby tree, Marien surveyed her surroundings.

She had seen a patch of mullein not long ago, along a path she took while foraging for raspberries.

“Here it is, sir.”

Tamilan furrowed his brows as he gazed at the area surrounding a large tree stump, where mullein spread out in abundance.

“Is this really effective?”

“Yes. I’ve heard it’s rare and was surprised to find it here.”

Mullein was a rare herb. It was not only hard to come by, but also most effective when freshly picked.

Until now, Marien had only been able to obtain it in a dried form.

She had been able to obtain it only with the help of the healer, and even then, it had been costly. While it had been difficult to find in Middleheim, it grew abundantly here, making her heart ache.

If only she had managed to get mullein in time, perhaps her mother might still be by her side….

But why was the method healer Helen had taught her unknown in Berkshire?

Both the attending physician and Lord Tamilan had said it was their first time hearing of it. It seemed Helen’s method wasn’t widely known.

The lady of the house was doing everything possible aside from drinking mullein tea. That was the only way to ease her symptoms.

Marien had been unable to provide much for her mother due to her circumstances, but that wasn’t the case with the lady. In a way, she felt envious.

If she could serve freshly picked mullein tea, perhaps the lady would feel much better.

If only she could care for the lady and alleviate her symptoms….

Marien rolled up her sleeves and opened the leather pouch she had received from the housekeeper.

Starting at the edge of the mullein cluster, she plucked the large leaves one by one and neatly packed them into the pouch.

So focused was she on her task that she didn’t even notice when Tamilan, standing a bit away, flung his dagger into the mouth of a snake.

Thunk—!

Pulling the dagger from the snake’s mouth, he scanned the area with a frown.

This wasn’t so much a mullein patch as it was a snake patch.

Tamilan had accompanied Marien today not only for protection but also to discuss her mother’s condition.

Since the wolves had been eradicated after that day, he didn’t expect there would be much to guard against other than checking the surroundings.

He circled near Marien and killed another snake, but she remained unaware, busily gathering mullein leaves.

Amused by her obliviousness, Tamilan let out a small chuckle.

Rubbing his chin with his left hand, he pondered how to deal with the snakes. He then threw his dagger again, taking down another one.

Ssshaa—!

The snake was non-venomous, but Marien realized she would need to search the snake’s den to comfortably gather mullein leaves here.

Come to think of it, hadn’t she been considering how to discipline the increasingly lax knights lately?

“I think I’ll just take this much for today. If I take too much, its efficacy will decrease over time.”

Since there was plenty of fresh mullein nearby, there was no need to use dried leaves.

Marien wiped the sweat from her brow and stood up. The leather pouch was filled with a good amount of mullein leaves, which made her smile brightly at Tamilan with pure innocence.

“Well done.”

“It didn’t take long at all.”

“Right.”

Tamilan tucked the sweat-soaked hair behind her ear, making Marien’s cheeks flush.

“Weren’t you bored, my lord? I’ll need to collect a steady supply, so perhaps another knight next time….”

“No. I’ll keep coming.”

Tamilan cut her off, his expression hardening.

Why was he suddenly thinking of Max Müller at the mention of another knight?

Of course, Marien would prefer him. It would be uncomfortable to have a stranger accompany her.

“Let’s head back quickly. I want to make mullein tea for my lady as soon as possible.”

***

Cough, cough—

Ah, it was this place again.

Though she vaguely realized she was in the midst of a nightmare, the sound of dry coughing filling the small hut tightened Marien’s chest, making it hard to breathe.

Hurriedly, she rushed to the kitchen and opened the wooden container where she had stored dried mullein.

Feeling reassured by the tightly packed leaves, she reached in to take some out, but strangely, she couldn’t grasp anything.

She withdrew her hand and checked, only to find the container completely empty.

“There was definitely a lot… It was full….”

Shaking the container upside down yielded nothing. As the coughing grew harsher, a despondent Marien rushed to her mother’s bedroom.

She realized that her mother, doubled over and gasping for air, was in great distress.

“No, please… don’t leave me….”

Please, please….

With a broken, hoarse voice, Marien whispered desperately.

“It’s all my fault. I should have followed Helen and gotten the mullein….”

Tears fell in a steady stream from Marien’s face.

“Cough… what are you… saying, Marien… you can’t… cough… go to the village… if you’re not here, I… cough….”

I know. Perhaps it was in that moment when I stepped away that she might have passed.

But I couldn’t accept it.

The creeping, inescapable approach of her mother’s death.

It felt as though everything was her fault, and she wanted to look away from the situation. She should have bought more mullein leaves, even if it meant starving for a few more days.

Her mother’s harsh, dry coughing filled the room, and the handkerchief Marien held was suddenly dyed a bright red. Her mother collapsed, unmoving.

Ah… no. It can’t be.

A massive hole seemed to open in her chest, and a wave of excruciating pain surged up from deep within her heart.

With trembling hands, she picked up the handkerchief. Her mother wasn’t breathing.

The mother, the person who had been the biggest part of her world, was now leaving her forever.

The bed where her mother lay was turning a vivid crimson, and the keepsake in her hands soaked her palms in deep red blood.

A keepsake from her parents.

This was something she had organized and kept as the last reminder….

Sensing something was off, Marien’s eyes shot open and she bolted upright.

***

“Hah, hah… that dream again… it’s okay, it’s okay….”

She was in her bed. Other than her ragged breaths, the surroundings were quiet.

With trembling hands, Marien pulled out the handkerchief she always kept close. In the faint early dawn light, her parents’ keepsake was spotless, without a single stain.

Why do I keep dreaming of Mother?

The nightmare, gradually changing its scenes, tormented her.

It had already been half a month since Marien started preparing mullein tea daily for the Lady. The freshly picked mullein had an efficacy far superior to the dried ones.

The Lady, who had previously suffered from severe breathing difficulties every evening, was now visibly improving, which greatly relieved Marien.

Yet, the nightmares were becoming more and more intense.

Clack—!

Suddenly, the door to the room swung open, making Marien jump in surprise.

“Oh, you’re awake?”

It was Emma who entered.

“You startled me… Where were you so early in the morning…?”

“Oh, it’s just about time to get up anyway. Here, I brought you some warm milk from the kitchen.”

Emma handed her a cup of milk, fresh and warm. Marien stared at her.

“Emma, did I wake you up?”

“I’m a light sleeper. It’s not your fault. The others are still sleeping just fine. I would’ve woken up anyway.”

“Sorry…”

Marien accepted the cup and apologized. She hadn’t had these nightmares when Lisa was around, but ever since, she’d been plagued by them every night.

“There’s nothing to apologize for. I have nightmares too. You just don’t notice because you’re caught in your own.”

Emma said as she began to change clothes.

“Drink up and come out. You know there’s a meeting with the head maid today, right? Wake the others, too.”

“……”

Emma finished changing quickly and left the room. Awakened by the noise, Isabel rubbed her sleepy eyes and sat up.

“What’s this? The smell of milk!”

Marien, holding the milk cup, offered it to Isabel, who sniffed the air and grinned.

As Isabel drank eagerly, Marien watched her fondly. Then, a gruff voice from the top bunk broke the moment. It was Carol.

“I’m awake too. How could anyone sleep with all that noise?”

Isabel, her lips marked with a white milk mustache, widened her eyes and looked up.

“Carol, did you wake up because of me? But it’s already time to get up….”

“Who said it was you, Isabel?”

Marien looked at Carol apologetically, but Carol turned away with a huff when their eyes met.

What should she do? She couldn’t keep disturbing the maids’ sleep with her nightmares.

She knew herbs that helped with insomnia but not ones that stopped nightmares, so Marien sighed.

***

With Maya’s help, Sophia Berkshire, now dressed in her gown, leaned comfortably against the bed and her gaze fell on Marien.

This lovely, kind maid was devoted in her care, to the point that even Madam Maya was amazed.

“Marien.”

“……”

“Marien?”

“Oh, yes, madam.”

Marien was so engrossed in peeling the thin outer skin of the mullein leaves that she only responded after being called twice.

The fuzzy covering needed to be removed before brewing the tea, a task that was meticulous and demanding.

“Take it easy.”

“Yes, but I feel better knowing it’s done in advance.”

Marien smiled gently, and Sophia’s face softened with a smile in return. The young maid had a talent for brightening the surroundings.