Male Lead, Please Dump Me Three Times - Chapter 44

I thought it was enough just to watch her from afar.

I planned to keep this distance.

So that Daisy wouldn’t run away from me again.

But they say the first step is the hardest.

Once I was physically close to her, my dark desires knew no bounds.

I wanted to bite Daisy, lick her.

I wanted to hug her tightly, as if she would explode in my embrace.

* * *

As if it never happened,

Daisy fell into a deep sleep, oblivious to the world.

I spent the night wide awake, holding her in my arms.

Despite my usual insomnia, time flew mercilessly fast while I was holding her.

This night was different from the ones without Daisy.

I kept wanting to touch Daisy, who was sleeping soundly in my embrace.

Wearing a shirt too big for her, revealing her skin, she slept so vulnerably in a man’s embrace.

I thought I knew quite a lot about her by now.

But that was my arrogance.

“…….”

Eventually, my trembling fingertips touched her forehead.

I gently stroked Daisy’s forehead with my finger. It was round and soft.

Sliding my finger down, I gently traced her delicate facial features one by one.

“Mmm…….”

Despite my caution,

perhaps tickled by my touch, she squirmed and moved her body.

Then she burrowed deeper into my embrace. Her sweet scent wafted to my nose.

What could be the reason for such defenselessness?

I wondered what Daisy thought, sleeping like a child in the embrace of a stranger.

Does she trust me?

Or… do I not feel like a man to her at all?

It would be troublesome if Daisy woke up.

If she suddenly opened her emerald eyes and saw me with desire-filled eyes……

I moved my hand to stroke and pat her back,

hoping she would not wake up and fall into a deeper sleep.

Her soft and tender skin under the thin shirt was palpable.

Her scent, her presence. Her skin stimulated all my senses.

I closed my eyes as my rationality blurred.

I didn’t want to cross the clear line Daisy had drawn because of my petty desires.

Like at the academy……

I didn’t want to face the expression of fear she had when she avoided me approaching her back then.

It would be troublesome if she ran away again.

“…….”

Even though I thought so,

I wanted to bury my nose in her exposed, snow-white nape immediately.

Daisy’s sweet scent lingered at the tip of my nose.

Watching her breathe softly in sleep reminded me of Daisy gasping beneath me last night.

Of course, I thought she would push me away.

Wasn’t it me who made such a pathetic excuse to just hold her?

I already knew that her feelings towards me were of pity.

As expected, Daisy did not push me away.

-Why don’t you push me away?
-Mmm… I don’t know……

I didn’t want to stop.

Instead of me, I hoped she would push me away as I tormented her.

But Daisy did not reject me and accepted me wholeheartedly.

I don’t need pity from others. But it was different with her.

She could pity me as much as she wanted.

For now, I was glad to be seen as a pitiable human being.

But that feeling was fleeting.

On one hand, I resented her for not pushing me away out of pity.

A moment of unpleasant thought twisted my mood.

I knew Daisy’s heart was too tender and pure for its own good.

But what if that pity wasn’t just for me?

What if she’s this weak towards other men too?

I wanted to keep Daisy to myself.

Even if I had to pretend to be more pitiable, I wanted to bind her strongly so she couldn’t leave me.

Even if it’s out of pity, just like now,

I hoped she wouldn’t push me away.

* * *

As soon as she woke up, she rubbed her eyes like a child.

Daisy’s eyes were unfocused. Just like after we had intertwined our tongues last night.

-Mmm…… When did you wake up, Ray……?

Her melting voice made all my senses sharpen again.

The shirt I gave her to wear had slipped down to her shoulders on its own accord.

The sight of her lying on my bed, exposing her white skin, stirred my desires again.

The bedroom felt dangerous.

I felt like I shouldn’t stay with her any longer.

I hurried out of the bedroom under the pretext of preparing breakfast for her.

Daisy’s hair was wet as she sat at the table.

She tilted her head with wet hair and started fiddling with a spoon with her small hands.

I wanted to bite each of her small, slender fingers as she ate.

It seemed better not to look.

This time, I left Daisy alone in the dining room under the pretext of preparing dessert.

Focusing on cooking did nothing to quell my thoughts.

Daisy seemed so happy about something.

She grinned like a child at the dessert placed before her.

She stuffed the pancakes I made into her mouth and chewed with her cherry-like lips moving around.

Her cheeks bulged adorably, making me want to take them in my mouth immediately.

Mischievously,

syrup dripped onto her red and plump lips.

I wanted to lick off the sweet syrup clinging to those lips right away.

No,

to tell the truth, I wanted to lick her lips.

Daisy followed me with quick steps, looking around the garden with a face full of wonder and curiosity.

Watching her like that overlapped with the image of the young Daisy I had observed at the academy.

Daisy hadn’t changed since then.

She still smiled brightly, and her golden hair fluttered in the wind.

No matter how far apart we were, just looking at her made me feel good.

But every time I touched her, I grew more greedy.

Dangerous thoughts consumed my mind.

I kept a distance from her as we walked. Perhaps the garden was better than confined spaces after all?

Daisy tiptoed and curiously examined the books in the bookcase. 

The books didn’t catch my eye at all. My desire-filled gaze couldn’t leave her. 

Eventually, perhaps realizing my intense gaze,

our eyes met.

Because I was so captivated by her, I couldn’t avoid her eyes.

To feel desire upon seeing such clear eyes.

I must be mad.

Our fingertips, hanging in the air, touched as if by chance.

The tip of my pinky finger that touched her became hot.

I was worried that Daisy might hear my loud heartbeat.

I hastily pulled away from her.

Somehow, Daisy’s emerald eyes were trembling slightly.

Seeing her flustered face made me want to tease her even more.

I wanted to see her face, trapped in my embrace, accepting me, just one more time.

Gasping for breath under my persistent kisses.

I couldn’t get the image of Daisy from last night out of my head.

The sound of my heart, still loudly beating without knowing its place, annoyed me.

I positioned myself far away so that she wouldn’t hear this bothersome noise.

I knew Daisy had a small head, but to be completely hidden behind a single book.

Suddenly, the afterimage of last night came to mind again.

The way she accepted my urgent touch, tilting her head back as she tried to move her hair.

That’s when I realized.

She was holding the book upside down.

For a moment, I felt pathetic.

I felt self-loathing for not being able to control myself around her.

-Do you want to do anything else? You have to go tomorrow.
-No. Reading is nice. This book is interesting.
-Is that so? That’s good to hear.

My attention was entirely on you; I couldn’t care less about the book.

Daisy, whether she knew what was on my mind or not, seemed deeply engrossed in the book as if she would enter it soon.

-Do you like me?
-Yes. I like you.

In truth, I wanted to ask her too.

Do you like me as well?

I wanted to bury my nose in her neck, bite her shoulder, and pester her.

But on the day Daisy and I reunited,

She told me firmly.

Not to ask her difficult questions.

Since I wasn’t in a position to be proud either, I accepted her proposal right away.

Even though I remembered that clearly.

Maybe…

Just a little bit.

Wouldn’t Daisy’s heart be the same as mine?

I tortured myself with hope like that.

But Daisy always drew an invisible line between us.

As if to tell me not to come any closer than this.

She confessed to me twice with a lovely girlish smile.

Even after being rejected by me, she turned around with a smile. What made her so happy?

Like on a fresh summer day, the still harmless Daisy willingly accepted my desires.

What if my sordidness further taints her?

What if fear fills her face again because of me?

I was afraid.

Seeing how nonchalantly she acted between breaths and shared kisses. Maybe her heart had already left me?

Was she just intoxicated by the atmosphere at dawn?

If not…

Was it just because she couldn’t reject my pitiful self?

Maybe she wants to forget about last night, just like what happened at the graduation ceremony.

I was curious about Daisy’s heart but didn’t have the courage to ask.

Although I was pretending not to notice, deep down, I knew.

Her feelings for me were out of pity.

Because she’s too kind-hearted.

To accept my beast-like, damp desires out of pity for me…

While it felt good that Daisy pitied me, it also made me resentful at the same time.

Because of her clear heart’s pity, fearing that one day it might be directed towards another man.