And yet, here she was, in this pathetic state, wondering why she had ever dared to hope for something more. It was absurd, unfitting, to think she could expect even a shred of dignity from someone before whom she couldn’t even kneel properly. To imagine that she had dared to wish he might kiss her….

Her eyelids trembled.

Hadn’t she imprisoned a man with fragmented memories in a squalid cabin, little better than a filthy back alley? Wasn’t the price for such a transgression far too small? Swan clutched her arms tightly and curled up. The cold had frozen her, preventing her from moving. She no longer understood what she had hoped for from him, and the realisation left her bewildered.

All she ever wanted was a family. She had been lonely for so long, and she thought he could be the one to fill that void. Now, she couldn’t understand why she had believed it had to be him. Why him, of all people? If she had known the truth about his status, how incredibly high his position was, she wouldn’t have dared to even dream of such a thing.

“They said he’s the emperor’s eldest son. The son of His Majesty the Emperor…”

The realisation made her vision spin, the weight of it pressing down on her until she felt utterly lost. She couldn’t fully comprehend the enormity of what she had done. Her jaw shook uncontrollably.

As she sat there, shaking, a memory suddenly surfaced – his look as he looked at her.

That must have been it. Maybe it was the same look he had when he saw her swollen belly. He was someone who had spent his life walking through the Imperial Palace, draped in fine fabrics that most people could never dream of touching. And yet the belly of a woman he had embraced in some remote village continued to grow. Now she could finally understand the horror and humiliation he must have felt.

Even the dissatisfaction that etched itself into his face whenever she offered him something – she felt the sting of it now more than ever. It wasn’t until she saw his family that she truly understood how foolish, how recklessly naive she had been. Her tearful eyes burned with the realisation.

And yet, even so – even so – he belonged there.

This must be his true self.

Now she understood why he had found her cabin so repulsive. The efforts she had made to keep him there were embarrassingly foolish, almost shameful to remember. Perhaps Swan’s life had been even harder than that of the women who had once belonged to the late Lopeninga. She bit her cold lips as her eyes followed the fireflies drifting through the cool night air.

The glowworms floated aimlessly through the dense darkness. Swan stood transfixed, staring at them. Just as she remembered the soldiers she had left behind and prepared to move, she suddenly felt a grip on her arm.

“Ah!”

She was suddenly spun around and there he stood – a sharp, imposing figure, even in the dim light of the night. Her broken heart began to race and the corners of her tightly pressed lips trembled slightly. Swan swallowed hard.

“The child is not here.”

His voice, deeper and heavier than usual, broke the silence. Coming to her senses, Swan twisted her shoulder, trying to free herself from his grip.

“Swan.”

There was warning in his tone. Swan blinked quickly, her mind racing. She clenched her trembling jaw, forcing herself to steady it.

“What were you doing here?”

“…….”

“Answer me.”

“I… I was…”

Her heart was pounding so hard it made her stomach churn. No matter how hard she twisted her shoulder, she couldn’t escape this time. The big hand that had gripped her arm was now pulling her shoulder closer. She barely had time to catch her breath before she felt his breath brush the bridge of her nose.

Only yesterday his scent, which I had grown tired of, had seemed so familiar. But now it seemed strange, as if he were someone I didn’t know. I couldn’t believe I had given birth to his child.

Even less could she imagine him as her husband. He felt like a stranger – someone completely different. Not a husband, but a man looming over her, someone she should kneel before.

‘How presumptuous of me to think of the Crown Prince as my husband…’

Swan stared at his jaw with fearful eyes before lowering her gaze. Her trembling brows twitched nervously. His brother was the emperor—whether as regent or in full power. Yet, the man standing before her showed no fear of him.

Swan, on the other hand, couldn’t stop her knees from shaking. If Tom had been here, he would have thrown himself to the ground, not daring to lift his head. In truth, she was no different. After all, the Emperor’s safety was at stake. Her discomfort in this place, at this moment, came from something else entirely.

And so…

“Swan.”

“I-I was about to leave.”

“To where?”

Her voice caught in her throat. She could have easily made up an excuse, but her lips wouldn’t move. Swan blinked blankly before whispering faintly.

“You… you look good.”

“What is?”

“Everything. I mean, you seem more at ease now than you did in the cabin, and that’s a relief. It’s only natural, of course….”

Oddly, after saying those words, she felt a sense of calm wash over her. The erratic pounding of her heart settled, and Swan, who had been trembling faintly, began to speak again in her usual steady tone.

“Sir Knight—no, Your Highness—I’m truly glad you’ve found your family.”

She slowly lifted her gaze, no longer filled with the fear and unease from moments earlier. With newfound composure, Swan started to express the thoughts she had long kept bottled up.

“It’s where you’ve always belonged. You wandered for so long, and it’s all because of me. I don’t know how I can ever make it right. I’m so, so sorry.”

“Swan.”

“I truly mean it. I’ve felt guilty all this time… so much that I kept thinking I couldn’t let things continue like this.”

Swan swallowed hard, her face flushing with embarrassment as she struggled to piece her words together. Taking a deep breath, she tried to calm the emotions surging within her.

“Mirabella is my daughter, and she means the world to me, but… I understand she might be a burden to you, Your Highness.”

She suddenly recalled Calyps’s story about the noble who had lost his daughter, and the thought made her pale. Fear flickered in her eyes as they darted through the darkness. Unable to meet his gaze, she focused on his jaw, swallowing dryly again.

“But I promise, nothing more harmful will happen because of me. Truly. I swear it… really, truly….”

Her mind was a mess, a jumble of things she wanted to say and things she needed to say. She knew she was guilty beyond forgiveness. The shameful actions she had taken to keep him from regaining his memories were entirely her fault. She understood she had no right to ask for anything—not even the smallest mercy.

Just to be alive with Mirabella was a blessing she should have been grateful for. And yet, Swan had dared to hope.

She had hoped to become his family. She had hoped that he would love her. The realisation of her own audacity filled her with shame. That she could only now realise the depth of her folly – how shallow her understanding had been – added to her humiliation. It was only natural to feel this way. The sting in her nose made it impossible to speak for a moment.

“I know… you’ll never forgive me…”

Swan swallowed hard. She stared blankly at his pale, bluish jaw before finally coming to a decision. Strangely, the tension in her clenched fist released, and a sense of relief settled over her. With a lighter heart, she allowed a faint smile to form on her lips.

“Mirabella and I…”

She was about to say that they would leave. Whether it meant returning to her cabin or setting out for an unfamiliar place with Mirabella—a place she had never been before—her mind was made up.

Once she resolved herself, tasks that had seemed impossible to face earlier began to take shape in her thoughts. By midday, she couldn’t imagine summoning the courage, but now it felt like something she could do.

Raising her child alone without a father—something that had once seemed terrifying and overwhelming—now felt like a challenge she had to embrace. Her grandmother and mother had done it, though Swan had always found the idea intimidating. But there was no other choice. Mirabella had no father, and in the end, she had always been solely Swan’s child.

She couldn’t place the responsibility on anyone else.

‘Yes, it was never something I could force to happen.’

In the past, thoughts like these would have brought her to tears, but now they seemed to have the opposite effect, bringing a strange sense of calm. It was peculiar how time could temper emotions. Just as she steadied her scattered feelings and prepared to speak again, his voice interrupted her.

“I asked where you were planning to go.”

While Swan’s eyes darted and wavered restlessly, his gaze remained steady and unyielding, fixed intently on her. The intensity in his stare sent a chill down her throat. Swan hesitated, her lips parting slightly as she looked up at him. His features, bathed in faint moonlight, appeared pale and sharp.

“I… I…”

She shook her head slowly, the weight of her thoughts making even that small movement feel heavy and stiff. As she faltered under his relentless questioning, the hand on her shoulder suddenly pulled her into his chest. Her head bumped gently against his firm chest. He held her there for a moment, his arms heavy with an intensity that left her breathless. Then, without warning, he tilted his head down.

His lips captured hers, silencing her, and an unfamiliar, disorienting sensation washed over her. Weakly pulled against him, Swan belatedly began to struggle, trying to push him away. Sensing her resistance, he tightened his grip, his hand pressing firmly against her chest.