Before going for a walk, she typically called Matilda first. Matilda would quickly summon Theodore after hearing her request.

Today, she skipped that routine and left her room, walking aimlessly.

…Because. Just because.

Seeing Matilda’s face might trigger her tears. Then Matilda would ask why, and she would confess everything. Matilda would apologize. She lacked the energy for that whole process. She simply couldn’t bring herself to call her.

‘Where should I go?’

Her steps faltered when she found the stairs leading down at the corridor’s end.

‘…I don’t know.’

She felt lost.

She realized she had never decided even a simple walk by herself. Others always chose the destination. Annabel during her mermaid days, and here, Matilda.

Would you like to go to the beach today? Should we walk in the greenhouse since it might rain? How about the hill behind for picking flowers?

Vivianne only smiled brightly and said “Yes” to these loving questions.

Like a fool. Did she not even have preferences?

She hadn’t pretended to like things she disliked. Looking back, feeling someone else’s warmth became her preference.

She deeply loved feeling cared for, cherished. She craved others’ warmth again and again. She hungered for affection, broken and yearning.

Why are you acting like a child? Why must you be such a good girl, and why are you so needlessly desperate?

Even facing mockery, she couldn’t help it. Feeling hungry when starved was instinct.

Kian became Vivianne’s first true secret and personal preference.

Initially, she just wanted to see the moon unclouded by waves. That was all. But after falling for him, who shone brighter than the moon, sneaking out became her habit.

Perhaps having a secret brought joy because she had somewhere to return to originally.

Was wanting Kian right for me from the start?

Though she had staked her soul to reach her desire, now she questioned whether her preference was right.

Countess Spencer declared Kian unsuitable for her. She spoke cruelly about ill-fitting clothes and fleeting relationships.

These pearl shoes paralleled her situation. When first seeing them, she doubted whether she deserved them, yet wanted them just as strongly.

Vivianne saw this mirroring her feelings for Kian.

‘I don’t know. I should go down first.’

Employees worked throughout the mansion. Though focused on their tasks, their eyes followed her passing form.

The master’s woman, receiving his one-sided care. Their gazes mixed strange envy and contempt, making her whole body sting.

“If you ever have any troubles or if someone bothers you, come find me anytime.”

When she felt ready to flee, Theodore suddenly came to mind.

‘He’s always at the training grounds during the day.’

Vivianne impulsively headed toward the training grounds.

* * *

Approaching the training grounds, unease crept in. Would appearing suddenly disturb Theodore? She worried about making him uncomfortable with her unannounced visit.

She had grown distant from Theodore since making flower bouquets in the garden.

That day, when offering her gift, Theodore refused, saying he disliked flowers. He left without meeting her eyes.

Afterward, she walked in the glass greenhouse with Kian, and various lessons consumed her time. Discomfort lingered since Kian stepped on his jacket.

So. That’s why even more. She wanted to talk with Theodore.

Had she unknowingly wronged Theo?

Kian might have troubled Theo because of that incident. Like her sisters ostracizing her at the Mermaid Palace because of her father, she might have caused him harm. She wanted to clear any misunderstandings.

At the training grounds, Vivianne hesitated. Knights practiced basics under the blazing sun, their sweat and heat tangible.

She had visited before, delivering towels during her laundry days.

Then, she hurried in and out quickly, thinking about rye bread. Coming with a different purpose, without official reason, made her nervous.

This marked her first time seeking Theodore. She thought finding him would be simple, but the crowd overwhelmed her.

Gathering courage, Vivianne decided to ask for help.

“Um.”

She called to a knight carrying wooden practice swords. His eyes widened at her presence.

“Yes? Ah, yes! Ah, yes, yes!”

One call prompted multiple responses. His fluster showed clearly.

“I’m Vivianne.”

“Vi-Vivianne??”

“…Yes.”

His extreme surprise puzzled her. Had she done something wrong? His face flushed red.

Perhaps illness plagued him? The sun seemed harsh. Vivianne carefully stated her purpose.

“I came to see Theodore. Is Theo here?”

“The-Theo. Theo… ah, Cap-Captain, the Captain?”

His stutter worsened. His breathing grew labored.

Concern for his health mounted.

“Yes. Are you… perhaps sick? Should I help you?”

“Ah, no!”

“Are you really okay?”

“Yes! Of-of course! Qui-quickly, the Ca-Captain… Just, just wait a moment…!”

Despite his fluster, his kindness showed through.

“Then. Thank you for your help.”

Vivianne offered him a bright smile.

* * *

“Captain!”

A junior knight’s breathless arrival made Theodore frown while observing trainee postures.

“Why such urgency? You’re kicking up dust.”

“We-well, she’s incredibly beautiful!”

“What?”

An ominous feeling struck him.

Only one woman in this mansion could inspire such awe-struck reactions.

No way. Impossible.

That couldn’t happen.

“An in-incredibly beautiful woman came looking for you, Captain. The master’s… that one!”

“Ah, move aside, kid. Where?”

“Under that tree over there!”

Indeed, Vivianne stood quietly beneath the plane tree.

Why had she come alone? Didn’t she usually contact through his mother? How did she know this place? Had he told her? What brought her here?

Dozens of thoughts crowded his mind. The training grounds erupted with noise.

The junior knight’s commotion triggered a chain reaction. Other knights discovered her, buzzing with excitement.

“Is that a person? I thought she was an angel.”

“In my next life, I want to be born as the master.”

New recruits likely never saw Vivianne before. Their excitement about seeing the master’s renowned woman seemed natural.

This explained his hope she wouldn’t come here. He hadn’t imagined she would.

Why should a mere guard expose her to dark-skinned men at the training grounds while claiming to protect her.

…Stupid fool.

Though self-loathing throbbed in his head for mishandling the situation, only he could address it.

“Alright.”

Theodore sighed deeply, practically throwing his wooden sword to the junior knight.

“My goodness. I heard she’s been hard to see lately since she stays in her room.”

“Shut up. Run thirty laps around the training grounds.”

“What?”

“Run when I tell you to run.”

He delivered the harsh command casually.

“Captain. That’s too much.”

“That’s right. How can anyone run thirty laps in this scorching sun?”

The knights protested.

“Too much? What’s too much? If you feel bad for that kid, you can run with him and count the laps together. Be friendly about it.”

He punished every objector.

The captain’s departure collapsed all discipline. Theodore decided to address the vice-captain’s leadership later.

Ignoring the junior knights’ despairing faces, Theodore ran toward the tree.