My Former Lover Didn't Die And Came Back - Chapter 55

The child resembled him in every aspect except for his eyes, which were hers. He inherited Blair’s ocean-blue eyes. Seeing those eyes like blue jewels made his throat tighten.

「I really did well in impregnating her.」

The disgusting thought that had not left his mind ever since she found Blair extinguished like a spark that was drenched in water upon seeing the child’s bright blue eyes.

‘…This can’t be the way. I don’t know what’s right, but this much is clear.’

He could force her to comply using the child. But how would that be different from the terrible deeds he committed at the Cavendish mansion?

‘I must not use the child as a means to hold onto her.’

If she felt trapped again, Blair would hang herself.

‘I can’t make the same mistake.’

Something hot kept being swallowed past his throat.

Cedric watched Alvin play with toys. The child’s babbling filled the room, but the large man’s mind was filled with other thoughts.

He was imagining a history that never happened.

Three years ago, after winning the war against Litunia, he returned to the capital. Upon visiting his old lover’s house, he heard she had married another man.

Still, he couldn’t give up on her. So, he went to the Cavendish mansion where she lived.

The mansion’s servants greeted the unfamiliar guest. Cedric sat in the parlor, waiting for the lady of the house to return.

When Blair entered the parlor and saw his face, she was startled.

Cedric confessed everything that had happened to him since then. He begged her not to resent him, to divorce, and to come back to him.

Blair, who was not living a normal married life with her husband, hesitated but eventually accepted his continued courtship. After going through divorce proceedings at Blue Port Courthouse, she married Cedric.

They set up their newlywed home in a townhouse in the city center. On a busy morning with servants all around, a boy blessed by everyone—Alvin—was born in that warm home.

He kissed the forehead of his lovely wife, who had just given birth, and their newborn child.

‘Thank you for enduring the painful process, honey.’

Childbirth is a life-threatening process. Even with professional medical staff and maids prepared, how could the pain of childbirth be lessened?

To his son, who was crying loudly,

‘Congratulations on being born into this world, my son.’

He said, giving him a carefully chosen name.

“……”

After ending the reminiscence, he returned to reality.

On the first day he learned of Alvin’s existence, what did he say to Blair?

「I’ve always wanted to strangle my past self…… But I do want to give myself credit for one thing. I did well.」

He spouted such nonsense. How did the deceived woman look when she said that? What was Blair’s expression then? He doesn’t remember. Naturally, he wasn’t interested. He was just too excited about the fact that Blair was raising his child to consider her feelings.

How did Blair give birth? She must have endured alone in a land without family, keeping herself together.

Cedric thought of the moment when the little child in front of him had just been born. All processes of childbirth are not beautiful, but Blair’s must have been worse. She warmed up her body alone in a land she visited for the first time. It couldn’t have been a financially or physically safe environment. And it was he who made her run away.

It was foolish of him to be filled with hope when he saw Blair and the child.

“……We’re truly a broken teacup.”

Past mistakes continued to surface. No matter how much he struggled to forget and cover them up, they clung to his legs like a swarm of dark leeches.

It was so intricately tangled that he didn’t even know where to start untangling them. He fully understood why Blair called their connection a bad karma.

So what should I do? I want her, but how? I’ve done everything I could, what now?

Having a child made him vaguely believe everything would be alright. That too was a misjudgment.

Six years had passed since he knew her. But he wonders if there was ever a moment when she was truly his.

When he approached, she drifted away. Like the moon reflected in the water that crumbles when you try to grasp it.

If there is a god, is he laughing at me now? It might be natural for God not to allow her to be mine.

* * *

The second-floor door opened, and Cedric came down the stairs.

“Huh? You’re down already?”

Blair at the counter said after seeing him come out sooner than expected.

“…I have something to do.”

Cedric briefly retorted and disappeared with his men outside. Blair glanced outside for a moment, then focused back on her work.

That night, as they went to bed, Alvin said to Blair,

“The sisters said I look like that man.”

“…Really?”

“Is he really Alvin’s dad?”

Blair didn’t answer.

“I asked that man if he’s Alvin’s dad.”

“…And what did he say?”

“He didn’t answer…”

Really? That was unexpected. Why hadn’t that shameless man revealed himself as the child’s biological father?

“But Mom, you know what? That man’s expression was weird.”

“How so?”

“…Remember the day when Charles’ store got robbed?”

There had been a big theft at the nearby sausage and meat shop.

“Ah, the day everything was taken away?”

“Yes, the next day, Uncle Charles’s face looked really similar to that man’s face.”

“…….”

Alvin didn’t take long to fall asleep. Blair kissed the child’s forehead and left the room.

The next day, Cedric did not visit the store.

‘It’s possible. He must be busy.’

Thinking so, Blair devoted herself to the store’s work. Even two days later, and three days later, Cedric did not appear.

‘It’s possible.’

But as a week passed, she found herself glancing outside the window.

* * *

The imperial army’s temporary camp was bustling in preparation for their departure to the battlefield. There were soldiers practicing swordsmanship and others lightly stretching. But most were engaged in shooting practice, having set up targets, all because of the Crown Prince’s orders.

“Cedric.”

“Your Highness, the Crown Prince.”

Cedric greeted the young blond Crown Prince who entered the camp. The Crown Prince had anchored at this small rural port a bit later than Cedric’s unit. The Crown Prince’s presence in the border area meant one thing: war was imminent.

The two started a conversation while walking around the camp.

“How long do you think it will take?”

The Crown Prince asked, meaning how long the war with Litunia might last.

“……We’re looking at three years.”

Three years was the duration of the war Cedric anticipated. Litunia, as a maritime power, was by no means an easy opponent.

“Three years, huh. Would it be difficult to end it sooner?”

“What’s important is to end it with a victory.”

“I have no intention of dragging out the war. I want to end it as quickly as possible. It’s the people who suffer when a war drags on. That’s why I’ve increased the supply of guns more than in previous wars.”

Bang. Bang.

The sound of gunfire from soldiers who were practicing their shooting echoed everywhere. The age of guns has come, so adapting to the times, increasing the supply of guns, and improving shooting skills will make them able to hit an enemy’s head from afar. That was the command given by the Crown Prince for victory in this war.

“…….”

The Crown Prince stopped walking and looked at Cedric, who also stopped.

“Do you prefer swords?”

The Crown Prince said, glancing at the longsword hanging at Cedric’s side.

“……Yes.”

Cedric responded after a moment of silence. He was originally a mercenary from a village. Having lost his parents at a young age and becoming a street orphan, his large stature and brute strength were all he had. At that time, before guns were widely distributed, he had made his way here with just a sword.

His fame in previous wars also came from his exploits with a sword. The newly invented and distributed guns had many shortcomings, and he excelled in hand-to-hand combat, earning his title by taking the heads of enemy leaders and boosting his allies’ morale.

But time passed, and gun technology improved. The Crown Prince believed that their victory in this war depended on guns.

“The times will change even faster. Those who can’t adapt will only be weeded out.”

“…….”

“If you have nothing else to do, go practice shooting, Cedric.”

His shooting skills were lacking compared to his nearly perfect swordsmanship, hence the remark.

“……Your eyes look a bit more alive.”

When he suddenly brought up his eyes as a topic, Cedric quickly raised his head. For the past three years since Blair left, he had been soullessly moving between the palace and his office. So it wasn’t unreasonable for the Crown Prince to make such a comment.

“Did you meet that woman?”

“…….”

Cedric hesitated at the sudden question.

“Refusing someone as good as Elena means there must be someone else, doesn’t it? You’ve been living with a vacant look since then.”

“…….”

Cedric hesitated unusually and did not answer. The Crown Prince looked at him with a slight smile, now that some light had returned to his eyes.

“So, was there any progress this time?”

“…….”

Cedric did not respond.

“Well, changing people is not an easy task.”

“…….”

“Do you know? Love is not about trying to win over someone. It’s not a war, General Cedric.”

The Crown Prince left the camp, saying he would take a look around the village.

Cedric returned to the temporary shooting range.

Bang.

He held a long brown rifle and aimed at a target far away. He missed the first few shots, but as he became accustomed to it, a large hole appeared in the center of the target.

Bang. Bang.

Cedric fired the gun in succession and thought.

……Perhaps I have to change.

In his life, Blair was the only thing that he ever found difficult, whether then or now. It wasn’t hard for him to have her body, but he wanted her heart.