Chapter 100

“But, Alec.”

“Yes?”

His lips, which were coming down to meet mine, paused for a moment.

“Even so, I won’t forget the old you. Just because you’ve become perfect doesn’t mean I can forget who you were before.”

“…”

Come to think of it, just because he had changed so remarkably didn’t mean I could deny his past self.

After all, I felt a bit sorry for him, and there were many times when his old self had moved me in his own way.

“…Back then, I was upset and disappointed, but now, thinking that I can’t see that side of you anymore, my heart suddenly aches.”

A faint, bittersweet smile crossed my lips.

How many times had I secretly watched him staying up all night practicing my name?

Each time, I felt like I was someone so precious to someone else, and that feeling kept my will to live going.

I loved how he now passionately indulged in my body, but I couldn’t forget the past version of him who persistently clung to my name.

He stared at me with intense eyes for a while before lowering his gaze.

As he untied the ribbon holding my clothes together, he spoke.

“Now that I’m here, I’d prefer if you could forget about that.”

“Why? Are you embarrassed?”

It seemed that was the case, and a hint of a smile crept onto my lips.

He couldn’t even look me in the eyes as he spoke again.

“No, that’s not it, but―.”

“No, I’ll remember it to the end.”

“…”

“If I don’t, who else will cherish your past so fondly?”

I gave him a warm smile.

But even then, he still couldn’t look at me.

***

The night deepened and stretched into dawn.

Louise quickly fell asleep, as if she had fainted.

Alec, after gazing at her sleeping face for a long time, got out of bed.

“Ha…”

A deep sigh escaped him as he buried his face in one hand.

Louise had fallen into a peaceful sleep, but he couldn’t sleep at all.

Since arriving from the north, his mind had been increasingly unsettled.

Being undressed, he threw on a thin robe and stepped out onto the terrace.

It was connected to the mansion’s courtyard garden.

Leaning on the white railing, he took a deep breath of the cold air.

Though it was the dead of winter, he longed for the freezing air atop Mount Kalanysh instead.

“This is driving me crazy…”

He lowered his head, running a hand over his face.

His affection for her was growing overwhelming, but could he really call it love for himself?

Louise’s words echoed chaotically in his mind, competing with each other.

“Why? Are you worried I only love you because you’re my husband?”

“Don’t worry. It’s because it’s ‘you’ that I love.”

“…”

On the way from the north to the capital, he had tested Louise’s feelings.

‘Alec’ was gone for good, and he thought he could share a deeper connection with her in his absence.

But each time, what he realized was the genuine love Louise still held for the real Alec.

It wasn’t him.

Tonight, he tried to express his feelings more directly.

‘I hope you like the current me more than before.’

But how did Louise respond?

It was as if she was thinking of someone else entirely.

“Just because you’ve become perfect doesn’t mean I can forget who you were before.”

“No, I’ll remember it to the end.”

Her words enveloped him in an unfamiliar feeling.

It was an intense emotion directed at the real Alec.

He had never felt anything like it before in his life.

His chest burned with frustration.

The more he tried to solidify his presence in Louise’s mind, the more his desire deepened.

“Ha…”

He let out another deep sigh and breathed in the cold air again.

He never imagined things would turn out like this.

Even though he was the one satisfying her, why did it feel like the one still receiving Louise’s love was the dead Alec?

Had Louise always held ‘Alec’ so deeply in her heart?

In every way, objectively speaking, he was much more capable now.

Even the affection meter in the system was steadily rising.

He thought there might come a time when she would love the current him more than the real Alec.

But the growing emptiness of feeling like he was just a shell of the real Alec receiving her love only became more overwhelming.

The affection he felt was hollow, without any true substance.

His heart and soul felt adrift, with nowhere to land.

If he hadn’t developed feelings for Louise, he might have been fine, but now, the hollowness was so overwhelming, he couldn’t tell how long he could keep going like this.

Suddenly, he looked up at the sky.

‘How did ‘Alec’ receive such unwavering love from someone like Louise?’

What had he done to deserve it all?

All he had heard about since arriving in this world were the things Alec had failed to do.

‘Is this why people say that you can’t understand a couple’s issues unless you’re one of them?’

A complex feeling surged, and he clenched his eyes shut once more. The thought of surpassing the real Alec made him grit his teeth slightly.

‘What a lucky guy…’

What more could he do for Louise here?

When he re-entered the bedroom, Louise’s figure was so mesmerizing that he couldn’t tear his eyes away for a long time.

***

The next morning, the capital was bathed in bright daylight.

For the first time in a while, I enjoyed a leisurely morning, surrounded by servants as I prepared for the ball.

The ball we were attending today was hosted by the Damian couple, and Marcel, who was close to Damian, would certainly not miss it.

Even if he didn’t attend, simply making it known that we had returned alive would serve the intended purpose.

“It’s all done, my lady.”

“Thank you. Where’s Alec?”

“The master is also getting ready in his room.”

“In that case, I’ll bring the outfit we had custom-made recently.”

“Yes, I’ll prepare it right away.”

I left my bedroom to find Alec. There was an outfit we had prepared for a special occasion like today.

When I entered his room, the servants who had been tending to his hair were just finishing up and stepping back.

“Alec.”

“Louise.”

He rose from the chair in front of the mirror as soon as he saw me, and I approached him.

With his hair styled neatly as I had suggested, he looked exceptionally dashing.

While I stood there slightly surprised, a servant brought over his formal wear.

“You seem almost ready. Let me help you get dressed.”

“Oh, thank you.”

I smiled at him as I accepted the clothes from the servant.

The dress I wore was radiant enough for a glamorous night at the ball, but his outfit, painstakingly adorned with golden and silver threads, was no less opulent.

Once he was fully dressed, I adjusted his collar and gave him one final look.

He looked truly astonishing.

“With your features, even this extravagant outfit pales in comparison. No one will stand out as much as you at tonight’s ball. So don’t ever feel intimidated anywhere.”

“…”

I smiled at him, but for some reason, his gaze, while looking at me, seemed distant.

“Well, shall we head out now? If we leave now, we’ll arrive fashionably late.”

“Understood.”

He replied politely, finally meeting my gaze again.

TL NOTE: More advanced chapter of this story is already up to the site. Visit dusk blossoms for more advanced chapters and stories