Chapter 1

Elcia gazed at the closed door before her.  

Unlike the old stone door of Usley Castle, where she and Ian had once stayed, this splendid door was adorned with a wreath hung with golden bells.  

It was a token bestowed by the Imperial Family, wishing for radiant glory and fortune to be granted to those beyond the door.  

No matter how unfamiliar it felt, there was nothing she could do.  

This wasn’t Usley Castle—it was the capital, and the bedroom of the Saint, guarded by Ian.  

Winter was approaching.  

Suddenly, she recalled the day of the first snowfall, when he had personally crafted a poinsettia wreath for her.  

‘Ian…….’  

Though Elcia was a puppeteer, she had no skill with her hands, and could only watch in amazement at Ian’s deft movements. The fire in the hearth burned warmly, and the breath she exhaled as she watched Ian was much hotter than the air inside the room—a fleeting memory of the two of them that would never return.  

Would he remember?  

On that snowy night, how happy Elcia had been to be alone with Ian, who had become unusually lively.  

Even though it was just a single silver bell and not a single banknote hung from the wreath, she had treasured it so much that she couldn’t bear to hang it on the front door, instead placing it on the indoor shutter.  

She had preserved that poinsettia wreath so it wouldn’t wilt, and it still lay quietly in Elcia’s treasure box…  

He would never know.  

And forevermore,  

He would have no reason to care.  

Elcia, burying her small memories of the past, pushed the door open.  

Today, she faced a difficult task that she absolutely had to complete, no matter what.  

She had wished so desperately for this day never to come, but in the end, it had arrived. Whenever she thought about it alone, she would often burst into tears, so Elcia tried hard to steady herself. She had practiced so much—she couldn’t afford to fail when it mattered.  

Inside the quiet room, there was a Saint lying on the bed behind the curtains, and a man who never left her side, guarding her steadfastly.  

There were two people, but to Elcia’s eyes, only the silhouette of the man stood out clearly.  

The man she loved so deeply.  

“The Saint is sleeping, and you barge in without knocking—what a disrespectful act.”  

He rebuked the intruder in a very displeased tone, yet his eyes never left the woman lying beyond the curtains. His right hand, healed with the help of Elcia’s healing puppet, looked ready to grab the sword standing nearby at any moment.  

Anyone could see that he was the very image of a knight, thoroughly protecting the Saint, and Elcia’s heart ached painfully.  

Her beloved old lover, with whom she had even promised marriage, had barely returned alive from the brink of death. So it was only natural that he would be so vigilant and protective. Elcia mocked herself for being foolish. Had she grown close to Ian? So what? She could never push aside the deep bond between him and that woman to get closer.  

So what did she expect, daring to disturb him?  

A noble Saint who had risked her life to save the world, and a knight who had long honored and cherished the Saint who had sacrificed herself years ago.  

That was their unbreakable fate.  

Why had she ever thought that Ian would turn his heart to her, someone who was nothing?  

Looking at his cold back, Elcia spoke the name she had repeated hundreds of times in her mouth last night.  

“It’s me, Ian.”  

“……Elcia?”  

Ian turned his head in surprise at Elcia’s familiar voice. It wasn’t love, but they were close enough to call each other by name—a relationship like parallel lines, defined as acquaintances. She quickly lowered her gaze, avoiding Ian’s piercingly beautiful eyes, and spoke swiftly.  

“I’m leaving.”  

“Ah, I see. Your puppet’s healing magic isn’t effective anymore, so there’s no reason for you to stay here. You’ve worked hard.”  

Ian listened to Elcia’s brief statement without surprise, sighing quietly and offering a simple farewell. Even as she, who had devoted herself to helping the Saint, said goodbye, that was all he said.  

Perhaps he thought Elcia’s sad resignation was trivial, for his head soon turned back to the Saint lying motionless. He had clearly turned his back on Elcia, who was trying to leave him! However…  

For her, not having to meet his magical gaze was a blessing. Gaining courage from this, Elcia finished her final words.  

“Take care.”  

Even after saying her sad farewell, she stood frozen in place, unable to move.  

‘Why am I like this?’ 

She had practiced her parting words in front of the mirror for days, determined not to act foolishly at the last moment. Elcia blamed herself for always becoming stupid in front of the man she loved. But her feet, ignorant of her resolve, stuck to the spot like a plaster statue, and her pitiful eyes refused to leave the back of his head.  

She desperately wished Ian would change his mind and hold her back.  

‘Please, just look at me once.’  

Even if she couldn’t heal the Saint anymore, even if she was worthless to him, she wanted him to see her as she truly was.  

Just once, she wished he would truly love her…  

Were the beautiful times and memories of the four seasons they spent together really nothing?  

Elcia Bennett was still hopelessly entangled with Ian Kypris, unable to let go of her lingering feelings. Ever since she fell for him, it had truly been inevitable. So she couldn’t utter a single word of the countless resentments and pleas passing through her heart. If he found out about her long, aching feelings, she feared he might feel burdened.  

After some time, Ian, who had been carefully watching the sleeping Saint, finally spoke in the silence.  

“You must have been shocked and flustered, and I’m sorry I haven’t been able to look after you. It must be uncomfortable here, so why not return to Usley Castle…”  

“No, it’s fine.”  

Ironically, as soon as Ian said she should go alone, her tightly closed lips opened as if by magic. What day was today? The day she finally gave up on the love she had cherished for a whole year and turned away. Yet she couldn’t bring herself to say anything spiteful to the man she loved. Instead, she resolved to end her long wait for good this time.  

From now on, no matter how long she watched and waited from afar, Ian would never come to her.  

Even if she waited a hundred years alone at Usley Castle, her pitiful unrequited love would never be rewarded.  

The lost first love he desperately wished for was only here…  

Even if that woman hadn’t been the noble Saint, even if she hadn’t returned from death, Ian would never have loved Elcia completely.  

Ian was a man born to love and look only at that woman forever. Why had he always been alone until now? The immortal love he harbored was never meant for Elcia.  

Even when the whole world thought the Saint had died—  

Elcia had proudly monopolized the man who had been completely broken after losing his lover. And after coming to the capital, she had met him countless times under the pretense of being friends and colleagues. So… Even though they had spent a long time together through all four seasons, if it was a love that couldn’t win even a piece of his heart, the answer was already clear.  

Her own miserable love had to end today.  

For everyone’s sake.  

Elcia’s place…  

Was not by Ian’s side.  

“Elcia?”  

Ian noticed the sorrowful tears in Elcia’s voice and tried to turn his head toward her. But it wasn’t genuine concern—it was just a shallow kindness anyone would show to an acquaintance. She knew this all too well, having experienced it so many times before.  

If she fell for that seemingly gentle but truly indifferent attitude again, she would never be able to leave.  

Elcia still loved him deeply, even now.  

‘The courtesy he showed me all this time wasn’t an expression of love. So don’t be mistaken again, Elcia. Don’t look into his eyes! This time, you really won’t be able to escape…….’  

Scolding herself as she wavered, Elcia struggled to utter the forbidden words needed to sever ties with Ian forever.  

“……I have something to say.”  

“What is it?”  

“Ian, I’ve loved you for a long time. I was never just a friend—not from the very beginning. I’ve… felt this way for a whole year.”  

After saying what she shouldn’t, a throbbing headache washed over her.  

Having confessed her aching love, Elcia felt as though part of her body had been torn away, and finally turned and fled. In the Saint’s precious bedroom, where even thunder and storms couldn’t drive Ian away, in front of the man she loved, in a cruel world where her unborn child would be mocked for not knowing its father.  

Ian’s brow furrowed, not immediately understanding what he had just heard. He had good hearing, befitting a knight, but he thought he must have misheard.  

‘Who…  

What did she say?  

Me…’  

“Hmm……”  

At that moment, the sleeping Saint, Kayla, let out a faint sigh from her lips. Ian, forgetting even to breathe, carefully pulled back the curtains and peered in.  

The Saint, who had barely returned from death, insisted on going to the Imperial Palace to break the curse on the Crown Prince. She had raised the Holy Grail given by the goddess, vowing to save the Crown Prince, but for some reason, lost her divine power and became rapidly weak. The Order was greatly flustered by this unprecedented event, but no new oracle had come down.  

Without divine power, she could no longer be called a Saint, but Ian didn’t think so. As the former leader of the Holy Knight Order, it was his duty to care for the lost Saint’s well-being. He volunteered to bring Kayla to the Marquis’s mansion, and the temple acquiesced.  

Because of this, Kayla, whose body had become extremely weak, would sometimes sleep for days on end. Though her sleep was gradually shortening, her cycles were so irregular that she needed delicate care. It was uncertain when she would wake. This was only possible thanks to the stability and advice provided by Elcia’s healing puppet.  

Ian was always a man who would give every drop of his blood for Kayla. It wasn’t just the devotion of a Holy Knight to the Saint.  

She was his first love.  

Before and now.  

However.  

‘Elci… What did you mean by those words?’  

Elcia’s tearful “Take care,” spoken as she ran away, lingered in Ian’s mind. Even with the living Kayla before him, whom he had wished for so desperately, he couldn’t focus. His tangled thoughts kept circling back to Elcia, who had just fled before him.  

He couldn’t just stand by.  

“……Steward? Are you there?”  

“Yes.”  

The steward of Usley Castle must have witnessed all the commotion inside after the door opened. Yet he wore a calm expression as if nothing had happened.  

Ian was irritated for no reason. Why hadn’t the steward stopped Elcia, who, frail as she was, stubbornly insisted on returning to the castle alone? Didn’t he know how dreadful the winter at Usley Castle would be? Didn’t he care about her at all?  

After the recent fire at Sillon House, Elcia had nowhere else to go, so if she left here, she would obviously head to Usley Castle!  

“Stay and watch over the Saint. If she wakes while I’m gone, call a healer immediately and reassure her that I’ll be back soon.”  

“Understood.”  

After struggling with himself, Ian finally rose, leaving his precious Saint alone.  

To find Elcia.  

In the past, this would have been unthinkable.