Chapter 4.5

The red dress was a lace-up style that required the back strings to be tied tightly to cinch the waist. It was impossible for Natalie to put it on by herself. She draped the dress across her body rather than properly wearing it and tapped Edgar on the back.

“Could you tie this for me?”

Edgar glanced back briefly. Realizing she was still facing him, he said, 

“Turn around, Natalie.”

Without protest, Natalie turned around. Standing before the mirror again, she watched Edgar finally face her reflection. Standing behind her, Edgar took hold of the dress strings. He lowered his head, focusing solely on the task at hand—pulling the strings tight and securing them.

However, there was a problem. The strings were so loose it seemed as though the dress might slip off at any moment.

“You need to pull it tighter.” 

Natalie demanded.

Edgar hesitated, his hands pausing.

“…I’ll handle it.”

His wavering gaze lingered on Natalie’s exposed shoulders. She quietly chuckled, feeling as though she had discovered an odd sense of amusement. Watching Edgar in the mirror, she observed his reaction as if testing a prank. Yet, because his head was bowed, his face wasn’t clearly visible.

Natalie began to turn her head to look at him directly, but Edgar pulled the strings taut.

“Look forward.”

This time, he seemed intent on doing the job properly. One of his hands pressed gently against the small of her back as he worked. Natalie felt her ears grow warm at the sensation of his hand encircling her waist. Embarrassed by her own reaction, she froze in place. Her back stiffened as she became acutely aware of Edgar’s touch.

Fidgeting with her toes, Natalie noticed something peculiar about the red dress in the mirror. The upper part was cut unusually low, revealing much more of her shoulders than other dresses did. Feeling a bit exposed, she glanced down at her chest.

Was there not enough fabric when it was made?

The neckline plunged deeply, leaving the upper part of her chest completely visible. Natalie wasn’t the only one to notice this distinctive feature of the dress. Edgar, having finished tying the strings, now wore a serious expression.

“Wait here.”

Edgar loosened the tightly tied strings and walked off somewhere. When he returned, he was holding a cloak. He draped the cloak over Natalie’s exposed shoulders.

There was a difference between wearing a cloak over a tailcoat and wearing it over a red dress. The act of tying the knot meant Edgar’s hands brushed against the bare skin of her collarbone. His touch was cool against her skin.

As Edgar tied the cloak’s strings, his face calm and composed, Natalie suddenly reached out toward his ear. She tucked his golden hair behind it. The tips of his ears, tinged with a rosy hue, came into view.

He was a beautiful actor, a masterful liar. Yet Natalie believed that even within an actor’s performance, there could be truth. After all, wasn’t theater itself about finding truth within lies?

Meeting Edgar’s gaze, Natalie attempted to peer into his heart through the windows of his soul—his eyes. Quietly, she asked, 

“Is all the kindness you’ve shown me really just a lie?”

No matter how skilled a liar someone might be, they couldn’t hide the blush spreading to the tips of their ears. Thus, Natalie glimpsed Edgar’s true feelings through the rounded tips of his ears.

“Your ears are as pink as roses.”

Natalie playfully teased, her fingers brushing against his ear. The roles had reversed, and the scene repeated itself. This time, Natalie was the one teasing, while Edgar was the one faltering.

Edgar tried to evade her touch, but in doing so, Natalie’s hand slipped to his neck. As her fingers traced the straight line of his sternocleidomastoid, his neck began to flush pink as well. Natalie felt as though she was watching a rose bloom wherever her fingertips touched.

“Natalie.”

Edgar softly called her name, as if to put an end to her teasing. He then gently took her hand and lowered it, preventing her from discovering any more of his true feelings—at least not with her hands.

Natalie rose onto her tiptoes, aiming for Edgar’s lips. With her free hand, she grabbed his cravat and pulled him closer. She pressed her lips against his, closing the gap between them.

It was something Edgar had taught her—a bold intrusion that pried open barriers and stirred hearts. However, she wasn’t as skilled as he was, and her attempt ended with their lips merely touching.

She didn’t know what to do next. Unfortunately, there was no book that taught the proper way to kiss. All she could do was recall what Edgar had done to her before.

Then…

Nervous, Natalie licked her lips. Because their lips were so close, her tongue accidentally brushed against Edgar’s lips as well.

Though she had boldly initiated, she now felt as though she had done something she shouldn’t have. The surge of impulsive courage that had driven her quickly subsided.

Natalie lowered the foot she had lifted, leaving behind only the ticklish sensation of their lips brushing. However, she couldn’t end the kiss so abruptly after starting it so recklessly.

Edgar cupped the back of her head, his fingers threading through her hair.

“……!”

Natalie flinched in surprise. His touch, without hesitation, was like a rippling wave, stirring wherever it landed. Unlike her, Edgar was adept, tilting his lips to overlap hers effortlessly.

The intrusion of his lips was gentle but far from leisurely. Like a wave crashing over her, the sudden closeness left no room for escape. Natalie barely managed to close her eyes as her head tilted back.

Unlike the sorrowful first kiss that had left her heart heavy, this one was different. The tip of her tongue, retreating in hesitation, was entwined gently yet firmly within his mouth. She felt as though she were submerged underwater, her breath quickening and her body floating as if adrift.

Natalie experienced a chilling fear, as if standing before a bottomless swamp. Desperate not to sink, she clung to Edgar’s disheveled cravat. The unfamiliar sensations and emotions overwhelmed her, pressing down and tightening around her.

It felt as though she couldn’t go on, yet at the same time, she couldn’t stop. Gasping for breath, she turned her head to avoid him, but her hands clung to him tightly, unwilling to let go.

The entanglement unraveled, and the intrusion receded. As she gasped for air, her blurred vision gradually cleared.

Edgar’s face came into view, close enough to see. His lips, slightly parted, glistened with moisture. The faint light caught on the traces of their kiss, making it appear as though his lips were stained.

Edgar slowly opened his eyes. In the dimly lit room, his gaze was deep and shadowed. Natalie felt the grip on the back of her neck weaken. The arm around her waist also loosened. She could only stare blankly as Edgar moved away from her.

She didn’t want him to leave.

Natalie wanted to know if Edgar desired the same things as she did. Taking a deep breath to calm her restless heart, she looked up at him intently.

“…Do you enjoy being with me, Mr. Wharton?”

Edgar gave her a faint smile.

“Of course.”

It was a simple answer, too straightforward to reveal his true feelings. Natalie waited for him to say more, but silence lingered instead. Her gaze fell to his lips, the ones she had approached so recklessly before.

“Would you dislike it if I kissed you?”

“No.”

Relieved by his answer, Natalie asked again.

“Then… would you like it?”

“Yes.”

For some reason, his reply sounded reluctant, and Natalie felt disheartened. Watching Edgar’s composed demeanor, she tried to steady her own breathing. She wanted to be as calm as he was.

But it seemed impossible. Edgar had left traces on her—on her lips, her neck, and even on places he hadn’t touched, like her heart. His presence lingered, etched into her very being.

Edgar’s fingertips gently brushed against her lips, as if to wipe away a smudge. Though his gesture was kind, Natalie harbored unkind thoughts. She wanted to leave the moisture from his lips untouched, unable to dismiss it as a mere accident or mistake. If she couldn’t leave a mark on his heart, she at least wanted to leave one on his lips.

Still clutching his cravat, Natalie couldn’t take her eyes off his lips, which bore traces of her. Meanwhile, Edgar untied her bound hair. He returned to his usual composed self, doing what needed to be done—helping her into the dress and arranging her hair to match it.

He showed no sign of hesitation, as if their kiss had meant nothing to him. As if, once again, it could be dismissed as an accident or mistake. The thought saddened Natalie, and her lips curved downward.

After affixing a red floral ornament to her hair, Edgar looked at her.

“Don’t you like it?”

His question confused Natalie. Was he asking about the flower in her hair, or about himself? If it was the former, she had no mind to think about the flower dangling above her head. If it was the latter…

Edgar tilted his head slightly, observing her expression. His demeanor was kind, unshaken by any emotion.

It became clear what his gentle kindness meant. It wasn’t the kindness of a lover who made her heart flutter, but the kindness of someone caring for a child.

“You’re treating me like a child.” 

Natalie said, voicing her conclusion about his feelings. Edgar’s lips curled into a soft smile.

“Do you dislike being treated like a child?”

“……”

If she said yes, it would only reinforce his perception of her as a child. Children often disliked being treated as such, while adults, secure in their maturity, didn’t need to prove themselves.

Natalie chose to express her defiance through silence and a steady gaze. Edgar responded with an unwavering smile and left a light kiss on her forehead, as if to pacify a child.

“I’m an adult.” 

She declared firmly, her voice tinged with sadness and frustration.

Still smiling, Edgar brushed his fingers lightly across her lips.

“And yet, you don’t even know how to kiss.”

Natalie frowned at his delicate yet teasing smile. His words were so infuriating that she wanted to argue against everything he said.

“I do know how.”

Edgar tilted his head slightly, as if humoring her rebuttal.

“Then are you just pretending not to with me? Miss Maron, your acting skills are remarkable.”

His soft voice carried a playful tone, as though he were making a jest. His gaze, however, seemed to probe for any lies she might be hiding.

Avoiding his eyes, Natalie answered firmly, 

“I’m simply choosing not to show you my skills, Mr. Wharton.”

She couldn’t help but feel like a child throwing a tantrum. She was the only one taking things seriously, the only one feeling sad, the only one acting foolishly. Edgar remained as composed as ever, while she was left to stew in her emotions.

Biting her lip, she turned away. She stared into the mirror, fiddling with the flower on her head, though there was nothing to check. Once again, Edgar’s reflection appeared in the mirror. He was standing right behind her.

“Then who will you show them to?”

Edgar’s voice came from behind her. Though his approach was no different from when he had helped her into the dress, his hands this time rested on her waist instead of the dress strings.

He wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her close. Natalie shuddered at the warmth that enveloped her back. Edgar’s arms tightened around her, holding her firmly.

“Don’t show them to anyone.” 

He murmured, his voice low and steady.

His breath brushed against her neck, sending a shiver down her spine like an unsteady wave lapping at her skin.