Chapter 4 – Heejeongwon (Part 2)

Maybe people misunderstood. Dowook had always been rough and prickly, but now that he had grown taller and bigger, those traits seemed more menacing.

Thinking this, there was a day when she thought perhaps Choi Dowook really had become a delinquent.

One night, Dowook knocked on Junhee’s door. He had a split lip and handed her a first-aid kit.

Since she had often treated his wounds secretly when he got hurt fighting with his brothers, it wasn’t anything new. But this time, the fight wasn’t with his brothers. His brothers were either in college or studying abroad, not at home. 

Where and with whom had Dowook fought like this?

Junhee’s mind was unnecessarily complicated. If she asked where he got hurt, Dowook would vaguely answer, “With some kids,” as if it were bothersome.

Junhee became serious. 

Had he really learned something bad somewhere?

She was applying disinfectant to his split lip with a serious face, thinking about it. Dowook winced and complained.

He had always been a whiner. If a servant at Heejeongwon tried to touch him, he would sharply slap their hand away and glare.

This time, too, he whined every time she applied the medicine, so Junhee firmly held his hands together. Dowook laughed as if it were absurd. Ignoring him, Junhee brought the cotton swab to his split lip. Suddenly, Dowook frowned fiercely.

“Hey. Don’t breathe.”

“What?”

“F*ck, what’s with your breathing?”

It was absurd. Now he was picking a fight over the sound of her breathing.

“What’s wrong with my breathing?”

She asked, bewildered, but Dowook only glared at her with fierce eyes. Feeling wronged by his harsh gaze, Junhee’s stubbornness flared up. She brought her lips close to Dowook’s face and blew.

“Hoo, hoo, hoo.”

Dowook startled and pushed her away. Junhee, who had been perched on the bed, fell awkwardly to the floor. Dowook jumped up from the bed. 

F*ck. This crazy b*tch.

He cursed under his breath.

Junhee was also startled. She felt a dangerous vibe that was hard to explain.

It wasn’t the usual, emotionless, habitual, playful cursing. The words, ‘this crazy b*tch’, were a curse she hadn’t heard in a long time.

Junhee had only blown air, but Dowook’s face contorted as if he had been covered in filth. He even scratched vigorously at the spot where her breath had touched. His reaction made Junhee feel inexplicably embarrassed.

“Get out.”

“Choi Dowook.”

“I said get out!”

She wanted to yell, ‘You get out!’ but this was Dowook’s room. A surge of sorrow welled up, and she glared at Dowook.

Dowook also glared at her fiercely before turning his head away. His neck, lined with veins, was red. Dowook turned further away, distancing himself from her gaze. He kept cursing under his breath, his voice low and angry.

Then she heard, 

F*ck. A beggar.

That word hurt Junhee. She had often heard Dowook call her a beggar. So it wasn’t anything new. But that day, for some reason, the word stung deeply.

Sitting on the floor, Junhee glared at Dowook’s red neck. 

What are you so angry about? Who should be angry right now? You’re not even hurt. You treat me like this anytime… like I’m a beggar….

On the verge of tears, she threw the disinfectant swab on the floor and stood up.

“From now on, do it yourself. Don’t call me.”

She spoke coldly and left the room. She stood outside the door for a while, hoping Dowook would come out and apologize.

It was a vain hope. Dowook didn’t come out. Of course. That arrogant and annoying guy had never once apologized and held her back.

Junhee trudged down to her room on the lower floor. 

Bad jerk. Become a delinquent for all I care. Let your lips burst for all I care. I won’t care anymore. I won’t look at you or talk to you. At least until you apologize, I’ll ignore everything.

But it was Junhee who was ignored.

Since that day, Dowook hadn’t sought her out. He didn’t look at her. When their eyes accidentally met, his face showed disgust. He muttered curses to himself that she couldn’t hear. He turned his head sharply as if avoiding something filthy. He did everything alone—games, soccer, basketball, studying.

Because Dowook didn’t seek her out, Junhee had to do everything alone too. It felt miserable to be pushed away like that. 

We’re friends. Friends can fight sometimes. 

She thought, feeling wronged.

‘Junhee, you understand. Young Master’s moods swing often.’

‘He’ll get over it soon and come back to you. Just wait a bit.’

Those words made Junhee feel even worse. It felt like Dowook was above her, and she was beneath him. She hated being treated like a discarded toy.

He was the one who did wrong, yet Junhee was the one being ignored.

At Heejeongwon, Junhee’s ignoring had no power. No one cared if she ignored Dowook. It was as if such things were invisible.

So Junhee straightened her back even more. She changed her mind. Instead of ignoring him, she stared at Dowook’s face. When they accidentally met, she didn’t avoid his eyes and walked past him with her head held high.

She wanted to show everyone that she wasn’t a toy to be discarded and forgotten just because Dowook ignored her. She wasn’t something to be pushed away and discarded.

But until the day she left Heejeongwon, Choi Dowook never met her eyes.

When Junhee deliberately met his eyes, he still turned his head with a face full of disgust. Only his neck moved noticeably. Junhee quietly watched his neck.

Then she turned her head too, walking forward as if nothing had happened.

‘Junhee is no ordinary girl. Her pride is sky-high, sky-high.’

‘She seems meek and gentle, but sometimes she acts so fiercely. It’s fascinating. It’s no wonder the Chairman brought her to Heejeongwon from Nonsan.’

Those words were much better than being told to wait for Dowook, better than being treated like a discarded toy.

So until Dowook apologized first, Junhee would never speak to him.

But on the day she left Heejeongwon, Junhee impulsively grabbed Dowook’s wrist. She hated that Dowook ignored her until the day she left.

Holding his wrist, Junhee was a little surprised. Dowook’s hand was very hot.

His head, which had been turned away, finally turned toward her. His eyes stared at Junhee’s hand.

“Let go.”

“What?”

“F*ck, I said let go.”

Dowook sharply shook her hand off. Junhee looked at her fallen hand with empty eyes. Her dropped hand tingled with pain. She clenched her fingers into a fist. She didn’t want to back down over something like this. Instead, she stubbornly lifted the corners of her mouth.

“Fine, I’ll leave.”

Dowook’s fierce eyes wavered for a moment. His hair also wavered. A breeze blew from somewhere. The heat had subsided, and the breeze was cool.

“I’ll leave forever, away from you.”

Those words were also spoken on impulse. But Dowook looked hurt. She liked that. Her chest trembled. Hiding her trembling chest, she walked past Dowook and out.

***

Even though she left the annex with a bright smile, Junhee burst into tears the moment she saw her dad in the parking lot. Her dad was flustered and didn’t know what to do.

“Who? Who made my princess cry? Huh? Was it that Choi Dowook? That rude brat made my daughter cry?”

Junhee neither confirmed nor denied, just hugged her dad and cried. Even now, Junhee doesn’t understand why she felt so sorrowful when Dowook’s rudeness was nothing new.

She had spoken so harshly in front of him and shed so many tears, but in her mind, Dowook’s turned back kept appearing. His neck, turned away as if he didn’t even want to meet her eyes, kept making her feel sorrowful.

She couldn’t say that it was why she was crying. She felt no one would fully understand her emotions.

Her dad, on the way to Nonsan, took her to a famous barbecue restaurant in Seoul.

‘My daughter’s favorite, pork ribs. You need to eat well at times like this. Eating and chewing will help you forget the bad feelings.’

As her dad said, Junhee ate the ribs and forgot her sorrow.

“Was my daughter starving at that house? Now that I see, you cried because you were hungry. Oh my, there’s no need to wash the dishes here. That’s right. Let’s eat everything here.”

Junhee laughed with tear-stained eyes at her dad’s silly joke. She felt better.

“A pig is rolling. Be careful.”

With a full belly, she sat in the passenger seat and said that. Her dad laughed and made honking sounds with his mouth.

On the way down to Nonsan, her dad said,

“Junhee. If you don’t want to go up there every vacation, you don’t have to. Do you think I can’t find a tutor for my daughter?”

“…They said the tutors there cost over ten million won a month.”

“Really…?”

Her dad was silent for a while. The rumbling sound from the van was unusually loud.

“Anyway… you’re the best to me. I was always worried you might feel out of place at that house. Feel free to tell me. Huh? Is studying that important? You’re the most important to me. Your happiness is my wish. If going to that house every vacation stresses you out, I’ll stop it right away. Huh? Do you want to stop, Junhee? You can be honest with me.”

“Yes, I want to stop now….”

Junhee impulsively answered while looking out the window. She thought of Dowook’s neck again. His face full of disgust and his broad back turned away as if he didn’t want to see her. Her dad glanced at her and then said he understood.