Chapter 4 – Heejeongwon (Part 7)

“I didn’t speak ill of Junhee.”

Maybe that’s what he was curious about. Dowook pulled up the corners of his mouth again.

“I know your temper. What good would come from speaking ill of Junhee? I’m tired of fighting with you over her, and I know that nothing I do will work.”

“One, I don’t ask what you said to Junhee because I can roughly guess. Two, there’s no need to ask.”

No matter what Yeong-joo said, Dowook would ignore it and continue seeing Junhee. Yeong-joo drank a glass of cold water. She needed to soothe her burning insides somehow.

“And three, strangely, Woo Junhee likes you.”

Yeong-joo’s hand, which was holding the water glass, paused. Her son smiled deeply.

“I know that if I confront you about the humiliation you gave Woo Junhee, she would dislike it.”

“…So, now that girl is my superior. Your grandfather, your father, you, and now Junhee. I have so many people to serve. I don’t know if it’s a blessing or a curse. I understand, so stop threatening me about that girl.”

“I’m not threatening; I’m asking for a favor.”

“……”

“When Junhee comes back, please just be grateful. Be kind to her. No matter what you think inside, please don’t show it outwardly.”

Yeong-joo listened quietly to her son’s arrogant request while wiping her mouth with a napkin. She raised her hand, and her secretary, who had been waiting behind, approached. The secretary placed a cigarette holder between Yeong-joo’s fingers.

“What will you give me in return?”

She asked while holding the cigarette.

“A kind and gentle son.”

Yeong-joo twisted her lips into a smile at her son’s shameless answer. A kind and gentle son and a mother who lovingly embraces him. They knew each other too well to become such a pair.

“A kind and gentle son is good, but I’d like to add competence to that. I don’t want a son who flounders embarrassingly in a woman’s skirts.”

“If you want such a son, you need to cooperate. To make me that way.”

“Did she really say she wanted to break up?”

Yeong-joo asked, exhaling smoke. She took several deep puffs, but the cigarette tasted bitter today.

“Was my comment that hurtful?”

She had known Junhee since she was very young. A small, fair, and smart girl. A girl who always stiffened strangely in front of Yeong-joo but tried hard to receive her affection. A girl who sent carnations and letters on Parents’ Day, even when her own son didn’t.

“How cheeky.”

When she spoke disparagingly of the girl, a blue light flashed in Dowook’s eyes as he looked at Yeong-joo. They were the eyes of a hunting dog, ready to pounce and tear her apart. Yeong-joo twisted her lips and bit her cigarette.

But even with her fierce son, Junhee dominated Yeong-joo’s thoughts.

When Junhee was a child, Yeong-joo had mocked her, thinking the girl might consider her as her mother. As the years passed and Junhee’s paper-folding skills improved, producing more elaborate and neat carnations, Yeong-joo even looked forward to what the next year’s carnations would look like.

But… it ended like this. Without a word to her. She just left. Yeong-joo lowered her gaze and tapped the ash into the ashtray.

“She clung to you when I wished for you two to break up. Now that I was starting to accept it, she ends it like this. I guess her feelings weren’t that strong.”

“Yes, so I’ll try harder.”

It was a provocation meant to rile her son, but as always, he responded with composure. Even though he must be hurting, he skillfully hid his emotions to get what he wanted, a quality that made her father-in-law particularly fond of him.

“Alright, if my son wants it that badly, I, as his mother, should support him.”

Every time she saw Junhee, who received her son’s intense love, Yeong-joo thought of her husband’s beautiful mistress.

Her husband had kept that mistress by his side for nearly forty years, making sure Yeong-joo couldn’t harm her. Whenever her son showered Junhee with affection and clung to her, Yeong-joo wondered if her husband did the same with his mistress.

“But I’m not sure if Junhee will come back.”

When she imagined it, she couldn’t bring herself to like the girl. No matter how precious her son considered Junhee, she was in a position that could never be more than a mistress. So when she thought of the inferiority and humiliation her future daughter-in-law would feel toward Junhee, Yeong-joo disliked the girl. It didn’t matter how pitiful and hardworking she was.

“That girl has always had a strangely tough side.”

Sometimes, she found the young girl annoying. It was sad to see her son’s love taken away by Woo Junhee, just as her husband’s love was taken by his mistress.

So at one point, she wished the girl would disappear on her own. Since she couldn’t win against her son, she hoped the girl would step back on her own to avoid making things harder for everyone.

Yeong-joo looked at her son’s composed face and exhaled a long stream of smoke.

“Still, I hope it works out.”

Why does it hurt so much to think it really ended?

She had kept the girl by Dowook’s side for various reasons. She used her to monitor and tame her uncontrollable son. A pacemaker, a spy, a watcher, an informant… if she had to label Junhee, those would be it.

When she was young, she had Junhee take lessons with Dowook and compete against him. She had Junhee tell her if Dowook’s half-brothers bullied him or what he did alone at Heejeongwon.

After they both entered the same high school in Seoul, Junhee reported to Yeong-joo what Dowook ate, who he hung out with, whether he smoked or drank, and if he met any girls. Occasionally, she ran errands for Yeong-joo.

‘I’m always worried that Dowook might go astray. Junhee, can you help our Dowook?’

When spoken to in that manner, the girl always complied with Yeong-joo’s requests. She always wore a gentle and kind face in front of Yeong-joo. She acted as if she would do anything for Song Yeong-joo, striving to earn her favor. Therefore, even though Yeong-joo knew that Dowook liked the girl, she never tried to separate them.

She believed she could separate them at any time. The girl always complied with whatever Yeong-joo said.

However, eventually, the girl became Dowook’s lover, betraying Yeong-joo, who then withdrew her affection and trust for the girl.

A cheeky girl. A greedy girl. A girl who didn’t know her place or manners.

Yeong-joo thought as she looked at the girl coldly.

The girl still had a gentle and kind face and continued to try to earn Yeong-joo’s favor, but she found it hard to endure Yeong-joo’s coldness. Nevertheless, she tried her best to hide the scars that surfaced in front of Yeong-joo. She always tried to wear the face that Yeong-joo liked.

Yeong-joo somewhat enjoyed seeing the girl try so hard. No one in Taesan’s Heejeongwon cared about Yeong-joo’s feelings like that. No one was desperate to win her favor.

This is why Yeong-joo occasionally called Junhee, who didn’t meet her standards, for a meal. Even though her arrogant son showered the girl with love and protected her firmly from Heejeongwon, making Yeong-joo’s recognition unnecessary. Seeing the girl strive for her approval untangled the twisted knots in Yeong-joo’s heart.

She was curious to see how much Junhee, who followed her with the same gentle and kind face as in childhood, could endure in front of her.

Yeong-joo imagined cruelly rejecting and hurting the girl, but it always ended in imagination. Her son wouldn’t leave her alone if she did that. And she didn’t have the heart to go that far with the girl.

In the end, all she did was have a cold meal with the girl and then send her away. During those meals, Yeong-joo only gathered necessary information about her son. She knew that her businesslike attitude would distress the girl. Eventually, even that became bothersome and annoying, so she stopped calling her.

She remembered the girl’s eyes shaking painfully when she handed her the envelope. 

Was the girl deeply hurt then? Did she think of cutting off their long-standing relationship?

“…I hope it works out.”

They say you can know ten depths of water but not one depth of a person’s heart. Even after living for nearly sixty years, she couldn’t understand people’s hearts.

Not even her own.