Chapter 5 – That Bastard (Part 3)

My lover broke up with me, saying they were bored. They won’t meet me, and now they’ve cut off contact. Was my love not enough? Should I express more and do better? Just a few months ago, there were no problems, but can a person’s feelings change so easily? Is this really the end? I still love my lover. What should I do?

Did I write this? Damn, did I write this while drunk last night?

Raising an eyebrow, he checked the time and date the post was written. Fortunately, it was from a year ago. Dowook scrolled down on his phone.

[Hello, this is LoveGo, the number one relationship coach in Korea. There are usually two main reasons for boredom in a relationship. One is that you’ve been dating for too long, and the other is that you’ve been too good to your partner.]

Dowook and Junhee fit both reasons. He had thought that being a dating coach was a weird job, but it seemed it wasn’t entirely false.

[In both cases, the common point is that the relationship no longer provides excitement for the partner. Given that boredom has set in, it’s likely that you have been very devoted to the relationship. Such behavior would have reduced the charm and fun of the relationship for your partner. Naturally, you became the submissive one in the relationship, and your partner became the dominant one. Once these roles are established, they’re hard to change. In such a case, clinging and holding on is a no-no! The more you do that, the more your partner loses interest in you.]

So, what should I do?

[Surely, you haven’t already clung to them, right? Even if you try to hold on to a partner whose feelings have cooled, there are things you should never say, like “I don’t think you love me as much as I love you,” “How can we break up?” “Was your love for me only this much?” and so on.]

Damn, I’ve already said that.

[Blindly saying ‘It’s all my fault,’ ‘I’ll change everything,’ also reduces your attractiveness and is not good.]

 I’ve said all that too.

[What you need now is distance. More distance than the social distancing required during the COVID era. If your partner says they want to break up because they’re bored, let them go without any regrets. Your sudden change will confuse them. They’ll start wondering, “Do they not like me as much as I thought?” Then, refrain from contacting them for exactly one month. Make sure no news about you reaches them. This curiosity will be a crucial stimulus to change the relationship. During that month, focus on yourself…]

From there, it was similar to the advice Ki-hong had given him before. 

Don’t contact her for at least a month, focus on your life, increase your value, etc.

Annoyingly tedious and obvious advice. He moved on to the second answer.

[First, you need to understand the type of person your partner is. Based on their personality, you can think of ways to handle the situation. People can be broadly categorized into three types: anxious, avoidant, and secure. Typically, those who get bored are likely avoidant. Characteristics of avoidant types include…]

What kind of nonsense is this? 

He muttered a curse. Just as he was about to throw his phone against the wall, it rang.

— She’s been sitting on the floor of the porch, looking at the yard for almost an hour.

The hand that was about to drop ice into a glass of whiskey paused.

“By herself?”

— Yes. Since the early morning two days ago, after her grandmother went to work at the restaurant, she hasn’t come out of the house. Now, for the first time in a while, she’s sitting alone on the porch.

“Any special contacts or visitors during that time?”

— None.

Right. Woo Junhee wouldn’t go all the way to Nonsan to be with another guy. I’ve taken care of that. 

Knowing this, the unpleasant imaginations still clung to his mind. It must be trauma. He had similar experiences in the past.

Chewing the ice loudly, he leaned back on the sofa. A hot, languid sensation spread down his throat.

“I understand. Continue your work.”

— Yes, sir, I’ll…

Before all the tiresome and clichéd greetings could end, he hung up the phone. He spun the glass in one hand while holding a cigarette in the other. Cigarettes and whiskey, a combination Woo Junhee detested.

It was a combination he never touched when Woo Junhee was around, but she wasn’t here now. 

You didn’t listen to me, so you should tolerate this level of rebellion. Why did you leave me?

He poured whiskey into the glass. He drank the whiskey and sank into the sofa.

His gaze naturally fell on the small velvet box on the table. Thinking about the pair of rings inside, he deeply inhaled the cigarette and exhaled the smoke, his dry lips suddenly bothering him.

He had the urge to bite Junhee’s lips and moisten his tongue with her saliva, but he couldn’t. He irritably licked his dry lips instead.

He had planned to marry as soon as Woo Junhee’s tiresome studies were over. When she was a university student, she said she was still a student, that graduation was far off, that she had to go to law school, that she needed to study, and that she hadn’t yet received the elders’ permission.

Junhee had consistently rejected Dowook’s proposals. Since Junhee entered university, he had persistently proposed, only to be rejected each time, while he pretended to be a good lover.

Once the bar exam was over, there would be no more excuses. His grandfather was now weakened, and his mother could no longer torment Woo Junhee because he had grown stronger. Imagining the long-awaited moment of slipping the ring onto her finger, holding the ceremony, and officially becoming a couple, he had waited all that time.

Until Woo Junhee accepted his proposal, he believed he had to listen to her as much as possible. That way, she would feel compliant and willing to marry him.

Even though Woo Junhee had always avoided wearing couple rings, saying they were bothersome and interfered with her studies, she wouldn’t be able to resist a wedding ring. 

After waiting this long, isn’t it time to get married?

After all, in your life, there has been and will be no other man but me, so don’t waste your energy and come to me. I can give you anything you want.

He planned to entice Woo Junhee with all sorts of sweet talk.

If that didn’t work, he thought he would kneel and beg until his knees wore out, believing that the soft-hearted Woo Junhee would eventually accept his plea. They had always been like that. Junhee undoubtedly loved him.

Damn, not knowing she was planning to break up.

He let out a dry, self-mocking laugh. The crude laughter didn’t last long. He gripped the whiskey glass tightly. The blue veins on the back of his hand bulged.

Did I really not know? Did I really not know Woo Junhee was preparing to break up?

He turned his head to gaze at the terrace window. The city lights flickered beyond the window. His eyes, which had been staring, suddenly turned cold. He threw the whiskey glass at the terrace window. With a loud noise, the glass shattered into pieces.

No, I actually knew.

‘It’s okay. I’m okay, Dowook. You’re by my side.’

When her father died, when she failed the exam, those were the words Junhee habitually repeated. He knew those words were just sweet talk to deceive him, that Woo Junhee’s heart was growing cold. There were countless signs.

When Junhee no longer showed interest in his daily life. When she no longer told him long stories about her day. When she preferred taking off her clothes and having s*x over talking. When she found his calls bothersome. When she frequently missed his words and her gaze kept wandering far away. When she no longer told him she loved him. When the strength in her arms that hugged him kept weakening.

All those accumulating moments were telling him that Woo Junhee no longer loved him as before. He knew but ignored it.

Not to me. It can’t be. It can’t be.

Because her father died. Because she failed the exam. Because she couldn’t become the lawyer she so wanted to be. Her pride must be hurt. Her mind must be preoccupied, making it hard to pay attention to me. 

Given the time they had spent together, it was natural to feel bored for a while. But just as it had always been, she would realize there was no one but him and come back.

He rationalized. He couldn’t entertain the premise that Woo Junhee didn’t love him.

He showered her with affection as usual. Yet, whenever he couldn’t bear Junhee’s indifference, he deliberately did bad things.

Because then Woo Junhee would come looking for him. She would nag and scold him like she did when they were young. It made him feel good to know that Junhee still loved him.