Chapter 5.5

“Lunch was so simple… Are you sure this is okay?”

As they left the restaurant, Yoon-jae asked worriedly. After satisfying her craving with the meal, guilt began to creep in.

“It’s fine.”

Baek-geon answered curtly and wrapped his arm protectively around her shoulder. Yoon-jae’s heart began to race slightly.

“I don’t remember much about my early childhood. The first place I can recall is here. Before that, I was in an orphanage, but apparently, there was a fire, and I ran away. That’s what the older boys I begged with told me.”

Yoon-jae’s eyes widened.

“So you lived on the streets with those boys?”

“I did.”

Baek-geon nodded simply and continued speaking in a calm tone.

“One day, I was starving, but no one gave me even a single coin that day. I was so hungry that I started digging through a trash can, and someone grabbed my hand. It was the grandmother who owned that shop.”

“Oh my…”

Yoon-jae’s voice trembled faintly. Baek-geon avoided her gaze and stared into the air.

“The kimbap and jjolmyeon I ate that day were the most delicious things I’d ever tasted. I scraped the plates clean, not leaving a single drop of soup, and the grandmother watched me silently before telling me to come by every day to eat.”

Yoon-jae couldn’t even respond. She stared at Baek-geon, her words caught in her throat.

“But I couldn’t go back every day. I looked like a beggar, and if I kept going, I would’ve only caused trouble for her. So I never went back.”

“Then how did you survive every day…”

“That winter, the Chairman took me in and brought me home. One thing led to another, and I was legally registered under his family. That’s how I ended up here.”

The weight of the difficult years Baek-geon described pressed on Yoon-jae’s chest. She couldn’t help but feel sorry.

Misfortune couldn’t be compared or measured. But she couldn’t stop herself from feeling for the man who had lived a life as difficult as hers.

“When I went back later, the grandmother had already passed away. Her daughter was running the shop. The food tasted the same, but for some reason, I didn’t feel like eating it anymore. I didn’t feel the need to explain or reveal anything, so I just thought of it as something from the past. But seeing you enjoy it so much, I’m glad I at least know one place.”

Yoon-jae hesitated, unsure of what to do, before finally speaking.

“I want to be honest about something too.”

Baek-geon turned his gaze to her. Yoon-jae apologized for the assumptions she had made after learning about his past.

“I’m sorry. I really didn’t know. I just thought you…”

She had thought he had everything. Even if his world was tied to the underworld, she had heard that his organization and the company he ran were on a completely different level.

So she hadn’t known. She had vaguely assumed he was someone who had everything—someone privileged and enviable.

But now she realized that all of it was close to an illusion. He had built everything from scratch, on his own.

Yoon-jae stared at him, speechless. Feeling her gaze, Baek-geon lightly flicked her forehead.

“There’s no need to look at me like that. And you—how long are you going to keep calling me ‘Boss’?”

“Huh? Oh, that’s…”

Baek-geon clicked his tongue and shook his head.

“I don’t know what’s going to happen, but the fact that the baby in your belly is mine is undeniable. So either call me by my name or something else.”

“Oh… okay.”

Yoon-jae awkwardly agreed. Baek-geon looked at her with subdued eyes before turning away.

He wondered if he had said too much, but at the same time, he felt strangely relieved. Seeing her look like she was about to cry made him want to say something.

I’m already fine. It’s all in the past now, so why are you like this? Why are you looking at me with that face?

He let out a bitter laugh. He hated clumsy emotions.

“Forget pity or sympathy. They’re the most useless emotions in the world.”

Baek-geon spoke coldly, frowning as if he truly disliked the idea.

“I’m not pitying you.”

Yoon-jae steadied herself and answered calmly.

“I have no reason to pity you. I just think that, since you… Han Baek-geon… have lived as hard a life as I have, you’ll make sure our child doesn’t have to go through anything like that.”

It wasn’t that Yoon-jae didn’t feel pain. She wanted to comfort the man who wore a composed face as if nothing had happened.

She wanted to tell him it was okay, that he wasn’t the person he used to be anymore. She wanted to promise that nothing so heartbreaking would happen to his child.

Was it because she was carrying his child? She wondered if the hatred and resentment she used to feel had softened. Had tenderness grown within her without her realizing it? She sighed quietly, aware of her wavering emotions.

“At the very least, let’s make sure our child doesn’t experience any hardship or pain. No matter what happens.”

Baek-geon didn’t respond verbally. But Yoon-jae felt his hand on her shoulder tighten slightly.

She hoped he could at least be a good father to their child. More than money or background, she wanted him to shower their child with genuine love and affection.

If Baek-geon could do that, she wouldn’t ask for more. She just wanted to do her best for their child. Not the best in the world, but the most meaningful and desirable things.

Could he do that?

Yoon-jae looked at Baek-geon, lost in thought. She wondered if this solid, seemingly unshakable man could fulfill her wish.

Lost in their own thoughts, the two returned home. That night, Yoon-jae became acutely aware of Baek-geon’s presence as he climbed into bed.

*

The two had been sharing the same bedroom and bed all this time.

But nothing had really happened between them. Baek-geon would silently enter the room, lie down, and leave quietly, almost like a guard dog.

On her first night in his house, when he suddenly entered and pulled back the blanket, Yoon-jae had curled up in confusion.

‘Don’t worry. I won’t touch you. Just sleep.’

With that, Baek-geon lay down next to her and turned his back. The bed was so large that there was quite a distance between them, and he didn’t make any move toward her.

Listening to his steady breathing, Yoon-jae fell asleep without realizing it. The fact that she was in her first trimester and often tired helped.

It was strange. The man she had once looked at with hostility now seemed softer, more approachable. And she found herself naturally accepting it. It seemed the presence of the baby had brought about an unspoken truce between them.

Even after that, they never discussed their unusual cohabitation. They simply went about their days quietly, sharing the same bed each night.

But now, there was no longer a reason or need to stay confined to the bed. That evening, after much deliberation, Yoon-jae spoke to Baek-geon when he entered the room.

“I was thinking… maybe we should start sleeping in separate rooms.”

Han Baek-geon stared at her for a long time, as if he had just heard something unexpected. Feeling intimidated by his gaze, So Yoon-jae could only lower her head, unable to add another word.

“I’ll move to another room. Just give me any space…”

“Stop acting up and sleep quietly.”

Without paying any further attention, Han Baek-geon walked into the bathroom. Left alone in the room, Yoon-jae sat anxiously, nervously waiting for him.

Eventually, Han Baek-geon came out. Water droplets, not yet dried, rolled down his well-toned muscles.

Yoon-jae instinctively turned her head away. Until now, Han Baek-geon had never used this bathroom. He always used another one, so she hadn’t anticipated this situation.

Unable to control her flushed face, she fidgeted with her fingers. The man, who suddenly felt so close, seemed especially unfamiliar today.

However, Han Baek-geon appeared completely at ease. With a large towel wrapped around his lower body, he casually walked toward the dressing room.

Left alone for a moment, Yoon-jae hesitated, debating what to do. She decided to gather her sewing materials and step outside. She thought she should speak to Butler Song and ask for a separate room.

“Where are you going?”

But her attempt at resistance was quickly thwarted. Han Baek-geon, now dressed in a T-shirt and pants, stood behind her, staring as if to stop her.

“At least you haven’t been moving around too much. That’s one good thing.”

His words made her face flush again. Yoon-jae glared at him with a pouty expression. But Han Baek-geon didn’t budge; instead, he patted the spot next to him on the bed, signaling her to lie down.

“Lie down and sleep already.”

“I can’t sleep.”

“Even if you can’t, just sleep.”

Han Baek-geon’s tone was firm, almost threatening. Left with no choice, Yoon-jae climbed into the bed and pulled out her knitting project.

“Stop that and sleep.”

Han Baek-geon abruptly turned off the lights. The dim glow of the bedside lamp made it hard to continue knitting. In the end, she had no choice but to lie down quietly.

He covered her with a thin goose-down blanket and lay down beside her. In the dark room, Yoon-jae blinked repeatedly. Far from feeling sleepy, her eyes grew increasingly alert.

She tried to force herself to sleep by counting sheep. But after counting over ten thousand sheep, she gave up on sleeping.

When she absentmindedly turned over, she was startled. The man, whom she thought was sleeping with his back to her, had turned to face her.

“Why aren’t you sleeping?”

His gaze locked her in place. Stammering, she tried to come up with an excuse.

“Well, I… I just can’t sleep, no matter what…”

“Come here.”

At his words, Yoon-jae’s heart sank. Startled, she half-sat up.

“Wh-what do you mean?”

“I’ll help you sleep. Come here.”

Han Baek-geon, sounding annoyed, pulled her head toward him. Half-forcing her to lie down, he gently stroked her hair.

Yoon-jae found it hard to breathe. More than anything, the proximity between them was overwhelming. With his hand stroking her hair, her face was almost buried in his chest.

The familiar scent of him, mixed with the smell of his skin, created a strange and stimulating sensation. Reflexively, Yoon-jae closed her eyes. Her heart raced, and her mouth went dry.

“Go to sleep.”

Han Baek-geon’s voice was low and heavy, as if already drowsy. Yoon-jae tightly shut her eyes, trying to empty her mind.

But the man’s presence was the biggest obstacle. Moreover, the sensation of his hand stroking her hair made her even more conscious.

Relaxing in his arms, she gradually let go of the tension in her body. Slowly, sleep began to creep in, and her body started to relax.

As Yoon-jae’s consciousness drifted away like sinking into water, she eventually fell into a deep sleep.

Once she was asleep, Han Baek-geon carefully adjusted his position without making a sound. Looking at her thin shoulders illuminated by the faint light, he clenched his teeth, trying to suppress his impulses.

This wasn’t what he had intended. He wouldn’t have minded using separate rooms. But when he saw Yoon-jae’s wide-open eyes, a sense of defiance had risen within him.

Now, he was regretting that defiance. The sweet scent emanating from her made it difficult to hide the changes in his body’s reaction.

While pretending to nonchalantly pull her close and stroke her hair, he had to suppress the urge to act on his impulses several times.

He was aware that it wasn’t the right time yet. Even the doctor at the hospital had repeatedly told him this. As a human being, he knew he couldn’t let himself lose control.

He was angry at himself for acting out of defiance, knowing it would only make things harder. Even when she wasn’t by his side, he had endured countless difficult nights.

Now, with her sleeping right next to him, he couldn’t even touch her. He looked at her peacefully sleeping face with a fierce gaze and let out a deep sigh.

It seemed like the nights would feel especially long from now on. Han Baek-geon lay back down, closed his eyes, and tried to will himself to sleep, though it didn’t come easily.