To be truthful― she hadn’t clearly remembered anything.

The ‘scene’ she recalled when her head felt like it was splitting had a sense of disconnect, as if it wasn’t her own. Thinking about it with a clear mind, that’s how it felt. Like secretly peeking at someone else’s memory…

‘And that name, RauÐi… It felt strangely familiar yet foreign.’

After losing consciousness, she had another of those strange dreams, but that dream, like fragments of an unknown story, provided no clues.

In the end, no mystery was completely solved.

Vanessa didn’t know who that red-eyed boy called RauÐi was, nor could she understand what connection that boy had with Jurgen.

Could ‘RauÐi’ and Jurgen possibly be the same person… She could only guess based on Jurgen’s reaction.

‘If RauÐi was a child of the same age who spent a year with me in the Imperial City when I was eleven, and if his identity is this man…’

Assuming that, it felt like some of the scattered puzzle pieces were fitting together.

The problem was the disconnect with her memories.

The memories of being with RauÐi… Why do I feel a sense of alienation, as if they’re not my own? Are those memories really mine?

“……”

She felt like she was back at square one, not knowing what was what. Vanessa sighed deeply and looked at Jurgen again.

The moment their eyes met, his eyelids trembled slightly. He was always a calm, indifferent, and cold man, but now he seemed to be showing some vulnerability. As if the solid iron wall had been shaken by something.

Maybe now I can learn the truth.

Thinking this might be her only chance, Vanessa carefully chose her words in her mind. How should she ask to draw out the secret this man was hiding behind his fortress…

‘He asked me if I remembered…’

If I say I remember… how would he react?

But if he realizes I’m lying, he might try to kill me.

‘No, that’s not right. I’m now blessed by the God of Life.’

Those blessed by the gods are precious. Especially those blessed by the God of Life. Even the Duke of Drake couldn’t carelessly kill someone like her, who would be valued by the High Priest, the Emperor, and even the Holy Emperor.

…Though he might do other things besides killing.

Vanessa fell into conflict. After what felt like more than 5 minutes of deliberation, she decided to just go for it.

She was too curious about how Jurgen Drake would react if she said she remembered.

Swallowing hard, Vanessa finally opened her mouth.

“Yes, I remember.”

Jurgen narrowed his eyes. His pupils emitted a golden light like a full moon.

With a bad feeling, Vanessa slightly hunched her shoulders.

Sure enough―

“You’re lying.”

A fierce flame lit up in his golden eyes. As he slowly rose from his seat, Vanessa unconsciously shrank back in fear. But soon she shook off her fear and boldly confronted him.

“Yes, it’s a lie. I was curious about your reaction.”

“……”

Jurgen let out a short laugh and glared at Vanessa as if he would devour her. As he drew closer, Vanessa didn’t back down. She felt she had nothing to be sorry for or feel guilty about towards this man. …Though she couldn’t help being scared.

‘He’s unnecessarily big…’

Standing straight, he was so tall that Vanessa had to look up quite a bit. And his shoulders were so broad. Even among the Northerners, who were often well-built, his physique was exceptional.

Having such a man look down at her from close range was incredibly intimidating. But Vanessa didn’t lose her nerve. She was done cowering like a small herbivore in front of this man.

Jurgen asked with a sneer on his lips.

“Do you find it amusing to toy with me?”

“…You think I did it for fun? I did it because it’s so frustrating.”

“You haven’t changed, from the past to now.”

At those words, Vanessa flared up and shouted.

“That― That’s why it bothers me! You talk as if you know me! What is it? Are you really that boy called RauÐi? Is that why you’re doing this to me? Because I… abandoned you?”

The promise to never abandon.

If those memories were really hers, then she ended up abandoning that boy.

If she hadn’t abandoned him, he should have been by her side, but he wasn’t, and she had no memories of that boy either.

‘But…’

Biting her lip hard, Vanessa spoke again.

“Duke… My memories from when I was eleven are hazy. Even if we really knew each other before, I have no memories of you.”

“…Knew each other before…”

Jurgen, with a faint sneer, quietly pondered on that expression.

Was that relationship something that could be defined so simply?

Back then, you were my everything. The savior of my life, the master of my soul, the only light that illuminated me.

That weight was not something that could be lightly defined as just ‘knowing each other,’ and calling it ‘friendship’ would also be inaccurate.

All my hope, my will to live, everything was directed towards you― what should I have called you back then?

[You are in love.]

[Love? This?]

[Some love is like madness.]

I just sneered at those words the Emperor said. My only thought was revenge. Against everyone who betrayed and abandoned me…

You are no exception.

Even you, who arbitrarily saved and tamed me, ultimately betrayed me.

‘Nothing will change now even if you remember.’

Because we’ve come too far down this path for anything to change

“The fact that you don’t remember me is probably because I was only that much of an existence to you in the end.”

“What…? Why does the conversation turn that way? My lack of memory doesn’t feel like that. It’s hard to explain in words… how should I put this…”

“That’s all just a feeble excuse, Vanessa Roengreen.”

Jurgen suddenly grabbed Vanessa’s wrist and met her eyes at a distance close enough to feel his breath. No, he pierced her with his gaze. With eyes full of intense distrust and resentment.

At that moment, Vanessa realized.

No matter what she said, no matter what truth she found, this man would not believe it.

The Bloody Avenger. True to that name, he had lived only for revenge until now…

“Let me tell you one thing. The truth you’re so curious about.”

“……!”

“The boy who stayed with you for a year at the villa when you were eleven, it was me.”

“Then―”

Vanessa, with wide eyes, unconsciously grabbed Jurgen’s arms. Her heart was pounding strangely. As if she had finally found an exit at the end of a long, wandering path.

However, with his next words, her heart grew cold as if doused with icy water.

“And he died.”

“…What?”

“That weak bastard is dead and gone. You killed him.”

“…What on earth are you talking about?”

Jurgen grabbed a handful of Vanessa’s flaxen hair, stroked it down, and slowly kissed the top of her head while looking up with his amber eyes.

It was a gaze overflowing with intense longing. Seeing the pitch-black pit beyond that desire, Vanessa unconsciously flinched and trembled.

Perhaps I… had been looking at what this man wants from me too lightly.

“When I said I would break you, it wasn’t an empty threat.”

“……”

Jurgen slowly closed and opened his eyes.

The initial form of this pitch-black, muddy emotion is now vague.

What’s clear is just the desire for possession and destruction.

The instincts of life and death have two faces in one body. And love and hate― or love and the desire— to destroy are the same.

Unbearably…, unbearably wanting to break.

Jurgen grabbed Vanessa’s neck.

“Hundreds of times a day, I contemplate while looking at you.”

“……”

“Whether I should kill you, if killing you is too easy for revenge, or what if I break you, or how I should break you to make you look most miserable. No, without needing to contemplate such things, should I just snap this neck right now.”

Her whole body trembled like an aspen tree. Despite her determination not to lose to this man, she was truly scared and frightened. So from the beginning…

‘This’ was not something that her words could reach.

Whether I remember or not, what the truth is… it didn’t matter…

Because he’s truly, properly, completely insane.

“…So pray to my madness, Vanessa.”

“……”

“Whether I kill you or let you live― will be decided by my capricious madness.”

While gripping her neck, he came in for a kiss. Greedily, as if to devour everything. As if he would chew her up to the bone.

Vanessa trembled faintly and clutched at his clothes. The golden eyes she met were seething. That heat, as if it would burn everything, told her. That the day she would be swallowed without a trace by him was truly not far off.