CHAPTER 34 – Lingering Memories (Part 2)

“Did you really want to eat this?”

Dojun asked as he poured water at the underground restaurant in the shopping building near the hotel. The restaurant, named “Wonju Restaurant” with the characters written large on an A4 paper, had only six tables.

She didn’t mind all types of rice dishes, and it wasn’t something she had an overwhelming desire for. It was just a story that had come up once and stuck.

It was a dish that she could eat with the staff when Dojun wasn’t around, or she could eat it on her own while walking by, but she put it off every time she had the chance. She knew she’d have to eat it with Dojun at least once, so she kept it as a special treat.

“Yes.”

Still, Seoyeon replied with a “Yes.” Perhaps because she had been postponing it whenever there was a chance, or maybe it had been a while, but it looked more appealing now. 

After about 10 minutes of waiting, the rice with plenty of bean sprouts was served in a cast iron pot. She stirred it with a spatula and scooped it into a large bowl.

“It’s delicious when you mix it with the seasoning and eat it with seaweed.”

Seoyeon took a big spoonful of the seasoning, which, according to the lady, was made with domestic sesame seeds, sesame oil, garlic, and cheongyang chili peppers sourced directly from her family’s house in the countryside. As she mixed it into the rice, Dojun looked at her neck and laughed.

“You’re wearing the necklace.”

Seoyeon unconsciously touched her neck. She had debated whether to wear it or not, but since it was their last meeting, she decided to wear it as a kind of farewell gift.

“Love.”

Dojun said as he mixed the seasoning sauce with his rice. When Seoyeon looked up at him, he continued with a laugh.

“The staff said that its name is ‘Love.'”

“Oh, I see.”

The design was so famous that even Seoyeon knew about it. Having nothing more to say, she scooped up some bean sprout rice and ate it. The crunchy sound and the taste of the bean sprouts filled her mouth.

“Have you ever been in love?”

Dojun asked casually as he picked up some potato salad. It sounded like a thoughtless question thrown out there. Seoyeon felt like it might sound odd if she asked why he was asking her that. So, she replied calmly, shaking her head.

“No.”

She wanted to ask, “What about you, CEO?” but she didn’t. She just continued to eat her bean sprout rice. As Dojun chewed on a piece of apple dipped in mayonnaise, he said,

“Love isn’t anything special. Isn’t love just that, loving someone to death?”

It was a statement Seoyeon couldn’t find a proper response to. As she remained silent, just chewing on her rice, Dojun picked up the braised quail eggs side dish and placed it on top of her rice.

“What else do you like?”

“What do you mean?”

“Favorite foods.”

Seoyeon scooped up the quail eggs and rice and ate them together. The quail eggs, marinated in soy sauce for a long time, were salty and sweet. After swallowing it down, she replied,

“I like sujebi (handmade dumpling soup).”

“What else?”

“I also like Pyongyang naengmyeon (cold noodles).”

“What else?”

“Kimbap too.”

Dojun chuckled. After sipping some miso soup that came as a side dish, he asked,

“I’ll have to go eat those things diligently.”

“Huh?”

Seoyeon asked but Dojun just smiled without answering.

After eating the soybean sprout rice, Dojun drove Seoyeon to his house. She didn’t say much, as if she had expected it. As she took off her shoes in the entryway, Dojun grabbed a shopping bag leaning against the wall and handed it to her.

“A business trip gift.”

Seoyeon received the shopping bag with a slightly embarrassed feeling. She was receiving too many things that she couldn’t return. Even after parting ways, things that reminded her of Dojun kept piling up.

“Thank you.”

Inside the shopping bag was a box of black tea bags.

“Secretary Kang recommended this. He’s good at picking these things.”

Secretary Kang Seungcheol was always diligent about buying something whenever they went on business trips. It was guava juice in Jeju Island and black tea bags in Singapore. Snacks in Hong Kong, butter in France. 

“I’ll drink it well, thank you.”

Seoyeon thanked him again. As they headed to the living room, Dojun, who was following behind, said,

“Is that all you’re going to say?”

Seoyeon turned around and Dojun grinned mischievously. He was a bad man. He had completely turned people’s hearts upside down, acted as if she was the only one he could see in the world, showered her with gifts, and yet he laughed it off so lightly.

“No.”

She approached him. She wanted to give something back. She had wanted to part ways cleanly without leaving anything behind, but her mind had changed.

Just for a moment, she hoped this seemingly nonchalant man would waver. She wanted him to be confused by the lingering memories after they parted ways.

As much as she had been shaken, she wished he would lose something too. She wanted him to feel the emptiness and dazedness. She wanted him to hurt a little from the sweet memories.

She wanted to give him those sweet memories, lots of them.

In front of Dojun, Seoyen smiled with her eyes lowered. She placed her hand on Dojun’s shoulder and rose up on her toes. She ran her fingers through his dark hair and went in to kiss him, but suddenly felt shy and bit her lip while smiling.

Then she lightly bit his bottom lip, pulling it into her mouth and sucking on it. She felt Dojun’s body stiffen. As she savored and sucked on his soft, warm lips, a bubbling sound rose up from within her. Putting strength into her tiptoes, she hugged his neck a little tighter.

As if in response, he pulled her harder against his waist. He tilted his head and deeply kissed her. Seoyeon hugged his neck to keep from falling apart, pulling his lips to hers repeatedly.

When she bit his lower lip, he bit her upper lip. When he put his tongue in deeply, she accepted it and sucked. She loved the low moans that escaped his lips.

They kissed as they crossed the living room and entered the master bedroom, and didn’t part their lips until they were lying on the bed. The sound of wet lips and mingling moans echoed. Dojun hastily slipped his hand into her blouse and Seoyeon also quickly unbuttoned his shirt.

They kept kissing in between taking off their clothes. When they couldn’t kiss on the lips, they kissed each other’s shoulders, arms, chests, and necks. Finally, when they became n*ked, Dojun straightened up and reached for the nightstand. Seoyeon put her hand into his hand and said,

“I’m on the pill, so…….”

Seoyeon knew that these sweet memories would turn into poison. She knew, but despite that, she wanted to commit to it. Even if it led to regret, even if she blamed herself, it was all for later. Right now, she just wanted to do what she desired the most in this moment.

Dojun narrowed his eyes. Seoyeon hugged him around the neck again. She didn’t want to pull away. She wanted to feel his skin and smell his scent.

“I just want to.”

At those words, Dojun felt something snap inside him. Blood rushed fiercely, making his vision hot. It was like an unbearable current was flowing, making his blood vessels tremble.

While looking into Seoyen’s eyes fixed on him, Dojun pushed himself in. Her intense tightness made his vision hazy. When he was fully inside, Seoyeon squeezed her eyes shut briefly, then opened them again. Worried, Dojun stroked her hair, and she tried to smile through the pain.

“CEO.”

In the end, it was “CEO.” But Seoyeon spoke again, as if she knew Dojun wanted her to say that.

“No, Dojun.”

Just hearing my name called out made my heart feel about to burst.

Dojun thought at that moment. He felt like he was falling endlessly into a bottomless abyss looking at her gaze. His heart was pounding furiously.

So Dojun delved deeper into her. He wanted to tightly grip the elusive Yoon Seoyeon, even if she were to shatter and escape his grasp.

Seoyeon kissed Dojun’s nose, forehead, and lips. She hugged him tightly, pressing their faces together.

Remember me.

Even if I forget you, don’t forget me.

Seoyeon kept her eyes on Dojun throughout the endless night, thinking that she wanted to become an indelible trace that never disappears.

***

They watched a late-night movie. On their way back, they even bought ice cream and went to Uijeongbu to eat Pyongyang cold noodles. Under coercion, she even had grilled eel again.

She stayed at Dojun’s house all weekend. The only time they went out was to Samcheong-dong for sujebi, or to a kimbap restaurant in the middle of the night for kimbap and ramen.

Seoyeon laughed a lot. They watched movies and ate ice cream as if nothing was wrong, and it seemed like it would never end. So she wondered if Dojun was being carefree. 

Why did I worry in advance about the inevitable end? Regardless, there would be aftershocks anyway.

By letting go of her worries, the days flew by. Morning turned to afternoon in a flash, and afternoon to evening. The evening became morning again. Each day that passed felt like a farewell, but there was still a week, five days, three days left.

The final day came excruciatingly slowly.

In the late afternoon, Seoyeon stepped outside the store with her phone in hand. She dialed while looking beyond where Dojun might be.  She thought it would be fine whether he answered or not, but Dojun picked up.

• This is Hwang Dojun.

The afternoon sunlight streamed in warmly through her eyes. On the last day of February, when spring was just around the corner, Seoyeon  looked at the warm sunshine and said,

“Yes, this is Yoon Seoyeon.”

• Go ahead, tell me.

“I’m working late.”

• …. So?

“Thank you for everything.”

• ….

“I hope you stay well.”

There was no response from the other end. She heard something like a small chuckle, and then a strained voice came through.

• You’re good at this. Miss Yoon Seoyeon, you’re really good

She didn’t expect to say it over the phone. There was a pause before Dojun spoke, his voice filled with laughter. When the silence lengthened a bit, he spoke in a calm voice.

• Alright. You take care too, Miss Yoon Seoyeon.

“Yes.”

• We’ll probably run into each other sometimes, so let’s at least greet each other.

“Yes.”

• Thank you for all your hard work.

“No problem.”

After Seoyeon’s response, another brief silence fell. Dojun broke the lengthening silence and spoke first.

• Well then, I’ll hang up first.

With that, the call ended. Seoyeon deleted Dojun’s contact. 

She glanced up at the shining sun once and then, exhaling deeply, she opened the door of the store. It was a more ordinary farewell than she had thought.