0.

Yoon Hae-wan’s name was chosen after Yoon Hae-eon’s name.

1.

The children were found in the cold winter. Rather than being found, it would be more accurate to say the children made themselves discovered. The older child endlessly knocked on the orphanage door with small hands turned red from the cold. On his back, he carried a smaller child.

It was fortunate that one young volunteer had stayed rather late that day. Otherwise, not only the smaller child who was burning with fever, but also the older child who couldn’t even properly say his own name might have frozen to death.

The volunteer who opened the door and discovered the children screamed in shock. Amid all that commotion, the older child calmly muttered just one thing. Baby sick. Very sick. Both his vocabulary and pronunciation were much younger than his appearance suggested.

In the smaller child’s clothes was a single note.

Born March 23, 1996. Yoon Hae-eon.

It contained his birth date and name. But the older child was different. There was no message for the older child. Moreover, once the smaller child was entrusted to the adults, he shut his mouth completely. He answered most questions by shaking his head, nodding, or doing nothing at all.

What’s your name? No answer.

How old are you? He held up five fingers.

Did your mother leave you here? No answer.

Were you with the little child? He shook his head.

The adults fell into brief confusion at the older child’s answer. They had thought the children were biological brothers, but it seemed they were children who had coincidentally been abandoned on the same day at similar times. It could be called fate, but the children’s circumstances were too unfortunate for the adults to say such things, so they held their tongues.

Unlike the smaller child, Hae-eon, nothing could be learned about the older child’s background except that he was five years old. His name was decided as Yoon Hae-wan. Since he had been abandoned on the same day as Hae-eon, they named him based on whatever came to mind from Hae-eon’s name.

His birthday was decided the same way. Though the older child was two years older than Hae-eon, his birthday was recorded in the family register as March 23, 1994, following Hae-eon’s.

The orphanage staff said among themselves that it would be nice if creating these commonalities would allow them to grow up like brothers, but they couldn’t help thinking that with so many children to care for already, it would be convenient if these two could at least have their birthday parties together.

That was the beginning of Yoon Hae-wan and Yoon Hae-eon.

2.

Hae-wan and Hae-eon were regarded like a single set within the orphanage.

Just as the adults had intended, Hae-wan and Hae-eon did everything together like twins. They only slept next to each other, and when eating, they wouldn’t eat without the other present.

What was remarkable was that despite Hae-wan being strictly two years older than Hae-eon, no one was conscious of this fact.

This was because Hae-wan was slower than his peers in everything, while Hae-eon was faster than his peers in everything.

Hae-wan’s intellectual development level was far below that of children his age. This was a common symptom in children who had experienced abuse in early childhood, so it was easy to imagine what kind of past lay trapped behind his tightly sealed lips.

In contrast, Hae-eon was remarkably quick and clever in everything, making people wonder how such a smart and lovable child had ended up in a place like this.

When Hae-eon became able to speak in sentences, Hae-wan also became able to speak in sentences. When Hae-eon learned to read, Hae-wan finally learned to read along with him.

Hae-wan couldn’t enter elementary school at the proper age for his years, while Hae-eon entered elementary school earlier than his age. Eventually, nine-year-old Hae-wan and seven-year-old Hae-eon entered elementary school at the same time and attended the same grade throughout until they graduated high school.

Hae-wan and Hae-eon stuck together like one body at school too.

And the first nickname Hae-wan earned was “Yoon Hae-eon’s knockoff.”

3.

Hae-wan learned about his disability when he was fifteen.

Despite everyone manifesting as either alpha or omega in their early teens along with the appearance of secondary s*xual characteristics, Hae-wan showed no signs even at fifteen.

This meant that among his peers, Hae-wan was the only one without any scent.

From the moment of alpha or omega manifestation, pheromone scents became powerful indicators for identifying individuals. Like faces, physiques, voices, or unique habits, scent became one of the important clues for distinguishing, defining, and remembering someone.

Of course, this didn’t apply to Hae-wan, who still had no scent.

When he went to the hospital, led by the orphanage director who was worried about his delayed manifestation, the diagnosis was much worse than expected.

They said Hae-wan appeared to have already manifested as a recessive omega two or three years ago.

His lack of scent was due to a congenital disability of his pheromone glands, and there was no medicine or treatment that could resolve it except transplant surgery.

In conclusion, they said Hae-wan would have to live his entire life as an omega without a scent.

Hae-eon was also sitting beside Hae-wan and the orphanage director as they heard this news.

Thirteen-year-old Hae-eon had manifested as a dominant omega the previous month. It came with a beautiful scent that made everyone turn to look, reminiscent of a clean morning in the forest.

Hae-eon tightly grasped Hae-wan’s trembling hand. Later, when Hae-wan was left alone, that hand was deeply saturated with Hae-eon’s scent, almost like it was his own.

4.

When they were together, Hae-eon habitually touched Hae-wan’s body. Even when walking, they always held hands, and it was common for him to ask Hae-wan, who was taller than him, for piggyback rides or to hang around his neck.

Each time this happened, Hae-eon’s scent clung to Hae-wan’s entire body.

There was no one at school who didn’t know Hae-eon. With his exceptional intelligence and outstanding appearance, it couldn’t be otherwise.

And that scent.

Everyone unanimously said they had never smelled a better scent than his.

So Hae-eon seemed like an absurdly perfect being. Even his unfortunate past of being abandoned by his parents felt like a unique charm to the naive eyes of children.

In this situation, children often mistook Hae-wan, whose body was saturated with Hae-eon’s scent, for Hae-eon himself.

When Hae-wan called out from behind or spoke to them, children who smelled the scent first before seeing his face would turn around thinking it was Hae-eon, then show annoyed expressions when they realized it was Hae-wan.

But Hae-wan was somewhat obtuse by nature, so at first he didn’t understand why children showed displeasure just from him speaking to them.

Then one day, when he tapped an alpha boy’s shoulder to return a dropped item, the boy turned around with a pleased expression but immediately scowled upon seeing Hae-wan’s face and said:

Ah, damn it. I thought it was Hae-eon, but it’s just the knockoff.

The surrounding children burst into giggles, and Hae-wan felt shame burning through his face.

Only then did Hae-wan realize that the children who had looked back at him until now had made those expressions because they had mistaken him for Hae-eon.

5.

Hae-eon, could you walk a little further away from me?

Why?

Your smell gets on my body, so the kids keep mistaking me for you.

Hae-eon stopped abruptly and tilted his head toward Hae-wan, asking:

Then why is that bad?

At Hae-eon’s question, which seemed genuinely puzzled, Hae-wan couldn’t give any answer.

6.

The nickname “Yoon Hae-eon’s knockoff” didn’t disappear until they graduated high school.

7.

He met that boy in the early autumn when he was twenty.

It happened when both Hae-wan and Hae-eon were high school seniors. Around that time, Hae-eon had been selected for a gifted program run by a certain company, which meant he had to go to Seoul every week, often leaving Hae-wan alone.

Though Hae-wan was technically an adult at over twenty, he hadn’t even graduated high school due to his late enrollment and had nothing particular to do in this remote village, so his only pleasure during free time was riding his bicycle around various parts of the town.

The village located by the coast was slowly walking the path of decline after a nearby major corporation’s factory announced its relocation. During the bustling days, bus stops were located in every corner of the village, but as the population decreased and demand dropped, more and more stops began to be discontinued.

The boy was sitting at one of those discontinued stops with a view of the sea.

Buses don’t stop there anymore.

Hae-wan, who was riding his bicycle along the coastal road, thought this while glancing at the boy as he passed by.

He figured if no bus came, the boy would realize and leave.

But when Hae-wan returned a couple hours later on his way back to the orphanage, he saw the boy still sitting in the same spot.

Hae-wan stopped across the road and looked at him. He seemed to be around Hae-wan’s age, but his face was unfamiliar. If he was from out of town, he might not know the route had been discontinued.

Hae-wan thought he should tell him, but he hesitated. Ever since being called Hae-eon’s knockoff, Hae-wan had become somewhat afraid of speaking to people.

Still, the fact that this was a face he’d never seen at school gave Hae-wan a small bit of courage.

Hae-wan wheeled his bicycle across the road, stood in front of the boy, and opened his mouth.

Excuse me.

…….

Buses don’t stop here anymore.

The boy raised his head. What met Hae-wan were terribly black pupils.

But they soon passed by Hae-wan, and the boy turned his head at an angle with an unreadable gaze before opening his mouth.

This is a bus stop?

…….

I didn’t know.

Only then did Hae-wan notice the boy’s unfocused pupils and the white stick for the visually impaired placed beside him.

The boy slowly murmured in a low, heavy voice:

I’m just resting.

Thinking he had meddled unnecessarily, Hae-wan’s face flushed red. Being naturally poor with words and prone to stuttering when flustered, Hae-wan scrambled to gather his words incoherently.

I see. Sorry. Then rest well.

He frantically got on his bicycle and sped away, but suddenly felt something was missing. He stopped abruptly and fumbled through his pockets, but the wristwatch Hae-eon had given him that should have been there was gone.

It wasn’t expensive at all, but it was the first gift he’d received from Hae-eon and the most precious thing Hae-wan owned. The strap was broken and needed repair, but since it was something he always carried with him, he had put it in his pocket because he didn’t want to drop it, which turned out to be the problem.

Hae-wan fell into an almost panic state and retraced the path he had taken on his bicycle.

When he arrived back at that bus stop, Hae-wan’s wristwatch was in the hands of the boy standing in front of the bus stop sign.

Oh…….

When Hae-wan made a small sound, the boy slowly approached him.

Hae-wan was already close to 180 centimeters tall, so he rarely had occasion to look up at anyone, but the boy was much taller than Hae-wan.

Is this yours?

The boy carefully smelled the watch strap, then approached Hae-wan and slightly lowered his head.

It smells the same as you.

The boy pressed the watch into the hands of Hae-wan, who was staring at him blankly, then turned around and began walking away.

Tap, tap, the sound of his cane hitting the ground echoed with each step.

Until that sound disappeared, Hae-wan couldn’t move, frozen in place.

No one had ever said they could smell Hae-wan’s scent.

Since Hae-eon hadn’t touched Hae-wan today, what he had smelled couldn’t have been Hae-eon’s scent either.

His heart pounded like it might burst.

8.

For the first time in fifteen years, Hae-wan had a secret from Hae-eon.

9.

Whenever Hae-eon wasn’t in the seat beside him, Hae-wan returned to the bus stop like a magnet.

Above the bus stop, a large tree that had grown wild cast deep shade. Though autumn was deepening, the coastal road under the beating sun was humid and hot at midday due to the salt-laden wind.

Under that shade, the boy was sometimes there and sometimes not.

When the boy was there, he always sat with his back straight, his folded cane left beside his right hand.

Hae-wan always stood across the road from the bus stop and watched him.

At first, Hae-wan couldn’t even stand directly in front of the boy despite the single-lane road between them. He knew the boy couldn’t see, but he still worried just in case.

It was only after leaves began falling one by one that he could finally stand in front of the boy and look directly at him.

The boy’s hair was black and slightly curly. Whenever the disheveled strands above his forehead fluttered in the wind, they revealed his smooth forehead and thick eyebrows that had been hidden.

Hae-wan liked seeing the boy’s forehead. The sharply cut white forehead made his thick eyebrows and jet-black pupils stand out.

The boy didn’t seem bored and could easily sit in that spot for hours.

Hae-wan also watched such a boy for hours. Through him, Hae-wan first learned that there were faces you could look at again and again without getting tired of them.

Even while just watching like this, Hae-wan couldn’t think of speaking to the boy.

Though he had grown tall like a beanpole, Hae-wan’s heart was slower than other children’s. Even at an age when his peers had long since had playful or somewhat serious first loves, he had never once thought of anyone in that way.

Like the boy whose name he didn’t even know, he couldn’t understand the name of his feelings toward him, which left him confused.

Just thinking about speaking to him made his whole body sweat and his chest tremble, so he couldn’t even approach.

Nevertheless, when he wasn’t meeting the boy, he dreamed of speaking to him.

10.

One weekend, Hae-eon called while he was in Seoul for a two-day trip.

What did you do today?

I rode my bicycle.

Again? You keep wandering around like that and your skin gets all red.

Hae-wan just smiled awkwardly at Hae-eon’s scolding. Except for the bench at the bus stop where the boy sat, there was nowhere to escape the sun on the road, so after standing for hours on the sun-beaten road, Hae-wan’s pale, delicate skin easily burned.

Aren’t you bored?

Huh?

What’s there to see in that village that you wander around so much?

At Hae-eon’s question, Hae-wan was momentarily speechless.

Strangely, only then did Hae-wan realize he hadn’t told Hae-eon about the boy.

Hae-wan and Hae-eon were like a single set. Though they weren’t born from the same womb, everyone said they were like twins.

Everything Hae-wan had belonged to Hae-eon. Not just simple things like rooms, clothes, hats, bags, notebooks, and books, but even Hae-wan’s memories, thoughts, and experiences had Hae-eon in all of them.

He had never once thought he disliked it. To be precise, he wasn’t even conscious of it. Sharing everything with Hae-eon was as natural as breathing.

But the boy was Hae-wan’s alone. He didn’t want to tell Hae-eon about him.

At that thought, his knuckles turned white as he gripped his phone.

Hae-wan, can you hear me?

When Hae-wan didn’t answer, Hae-eon called his name strangely. Feeling he had to answer now, Hae-wan squeezed out his voice.

……Just.

What do you mean just?

Just…… I find riding my bicycle fun, that’s all.

At Hae-wan’s answer, Hae-eon laughed out loud like he was talking nonsense.

That day, Hae-wan couldn’t sleep a wink. The insomnia continued for several days after. It was because his confused feelings about this emotion he was experiencing for the first time stirred up the entire night.

For an ordinary person, it would have been an easily recognizable feeling, but unfortunately Hae-wan was not like that. He thought and thought for days, until Hae-eon and his teachers scolded him several times for being absent-minded.

Then one night, Hae-wan suddenly realized the identity of the feeling he had left neglected because he didn’t know how to handle it.

Hae-wan liked the boy. It was different from the way he had ever liked anyone before.

And he was scared. Scared that even the boy would be drawn to Hae-eon, who was bright like the sun, like a sunflower.

Hae-wan turned his head to look at Hae-eon’s face, who had turned toward him and fallen asleep. Hae-eon was beautiful. His face with long, pale eyelashes looked like an angel under the night light.

Did Hae-eon ever have such thoughts too?

Did he ever have someone he didn’t want to show me, someone he wanted to keep to himself?

But he probably wasn’t as scared as I am.

Because there’s no one who would look at me instead of Hae-eon.

Thinking this made him somehow sad. Hae-wan watched with surprised, mystified, and sad eyes as an utterly foreign desire slowly seeped into his heart.

The next week when Hae-eon was away, Hae-wan went to that bus stop again to watch the boy.

Still with the single-lane road where no cars or people passed between them.

That alone was enough.

11.

Hae-wan had never once succeeded in hiding anything from Hae-eon.

What time are you going to Seoul today?

Why, will you miss me?

No.

Did our Hae-wan get lonely without me all this time?

You little thing, won’t you call me hyung?

I don’t have to go to Seoul today. What should we do for fun?

Hae-wan made the mistake of hesitating for a moment. It was just an instant, but Hae-eon’s expression froze like ice.

Hey, Yoon Hae-wan.

Huh?

You’re hiding something from me.

Like his throat was blocked, he couldn’t say anything.

You can’t do that.

Hae-eon spoke bluntly to the hesitating Hae-wan. When Hae-wan reflexively looked at Hae-eon, Hae-eon spoke to Hae-wan with a face that couldn’t hide his hurt.

You can’t have secrets from me.

Hae-wan had no choice but to take Hae-eon to that bus stop.

12.

So you still haven’t talked to him even once?

……Yeah.

Why?

……Just…….

Then how about this? I’ll go make friends with him and introduce you too.

…….

That’s okay, right?

……Yeah.

13.

Hae-wan learned the boy’s name was Yeo Kang-hyun from Hae-eon.

He also learned from Hae-eon that Kang-hyun always sat at that bus stop because he liked the faint scent of sweet osmanthus that flowed on the sea breeze, that he was nineteen and a year younger than Hae-wan, that he had come to recuperate briefly due to poor health, and that his visual impairment wasn’t congenital but resulted from an accidental injury.

From then on, everything Hae-wan learned about Kang-hyun came from Hae-eon.

14.

The short autumn passed meaninglessly and winter came with thicker outerwear.

Hae-eon went to Seoul after a long time. He said it was an unavoidable schedule. As soon as he heard this, Hae-wan’s heart pounded like crazy.

Since Hae-eon and the boy became friends, Hae-wan hadn’t found a chance to go to the bus stop.

As soon as school ended, Hae-wan rode his bicycle toward the bus stop. The wind had become quite harsh, so cutting through it made his hands gripping the handlebars and his cheeks sting sharply, but he couldn’t slow down his pedaling feet.

However, the moment the bus stop came into view, Hae-wan had no choice but to stop right there.

There was Hae-eon, who should have gone to Seoul, and beside him sat Kang-hyun.

And the two boys were softly kissing.

It was probably their first kiss.

15.

Even when Hae-eon went to Seoul after that, Hae-wan never went there again.

Hae-eon never introduced Kang-hyun to Hae-wan.

16.

One winter just after graduating high school, Hae-wan had a big fight with Hae-eon.

It was the first time they had fought at all, and the first time they had fought so badly.

But strangely, Hae-wan couldn’t remember later why he had fought so badly with Hae-eon.

17.

Then one morning, Hae-eon left Hae-wan’s side.

Hae-wan only learned this after Hae-eon had left. It seemed he had decided to study abroad with sponsorship from some foundation, but he left without telling anyone except the orphanage director.

Even the director seemed flustered that Hae-wan, of all people, didn’t know about it, but Hae-eon had never told Hae-wan anything about it.

Hae-wan cried for days and days. The orphanage director comforted the crying Hae-wan, saying contact would come soon, but Hae-eon never contacted anyone and literally disappeared.

The sadness of Hae-eon leaving was deep, but he didn’t know what to do going forward without Hae-eon.

18.

Hae-eon returned in early winter when Hae-wan was twenty-six. His face was undeniably pale with illness.

Hae-eon smiled at Hae-wan with a face that was fragile and thin, yet morbidly beautiful, and said:

Hae-wan, my heart is completely broken. Six months at most, they say.

…….

So you’ll forgive me for leaving without a word, right?

Hae-wan embraced Hae-eon’s frail body and sobbed for a very long time.

19.

Unlike the doctor’s words of six months at most, Hae-eon lived exactly one more year.

Hae-wan devoted everything to caring for Hae-eon’s illness. He quit his job and spent the money he had barely saved like water, getting anything that was supposed to be good for him.

They said there was no way except transplant surgery, but he didn’t want to believe it.

He couldn’t let Hae-eon just lie in a dark room, so he even bought a car. Where the car couldn’t go, he carried him on his back. Hae-eon had always been smaller in build than Hae-wan. Now that he had lost weight, he was even easier to carry, but that made him so angry and heartbroken.

When Hae-wan bent his back for Hae-eon to climb on, Hae-eon laughed softly and said:

It’s just like when we first met.

Huh?

I was crouched in front of the orphanage door, and suddenly you appeared. You kept pulling my arm, but I was so cold I couldn’t move at all. Then you suddenly tried to carry me on your back. You couldn’t carry me properly, so it was almost like dragging me along, but anyway.

Hae-wan closed his mouth. His throat was choked up and he couldn’t say anything.

Hae-eon murmured quietly:

I was glad to meet you.

…….

It could be the day we met, not the day we were abandoned.

He gritted his teeth and held back wanting to cry out loud.

He thought he had swallowed all the rising sobs, but Hae-eon, riding on his back, reached out his hand and quietly wiped away Hae-wan’s tears that were streaming down.

20.

Hae-eon, riding on Hae-wan’s back, asked in a weak voice:

Don’t you hate doing this?

Huh?

You used to hate having my scent on you.

……It’s not like that.

Really?

Yeah. I like it. I like it so much.

Really?

Yeah.

21.

What did you mean when you told the doctor earlier? That you want to transplant your pheromone glands to me.

This is the only thing I can do for you.

I don’t want it. Don’t say such nonsense. And you’re not going to die.

I’m going to die, Hae-wan.

……

It’s my last wish.

…….

I want you to live with my scent.

22.

After Hae-eon’s heart stopped, Hae-wan immediately received his pheromone gland transplant.

For the first time in 27 years, Hae-wan became a “normal person” with a scent.

23.

He missed everything about Hae-eon, but one of the things he missed most was his scent.

There was no way to fully smell one’s own pheromone scent. That meant Hae-wan, who had received Hae-eon’s pheromone gland transplant and gained his scent, could never smell Hae-eon’s scent again.

It was ironic. Others could smell Hae-eon’s scent from Hae-wan, but it had become impossible for Hae-wan, who would miss him the most.

Even if he beat his chest until it bruised and cried out loud until his throat felt torn, he couldn’t turn it back.

24.

Promise me you’ll definitely go here one year after I die.

……Why?

I have a gift for you.

What is it?

That’s still a secret.

How can you do that? That’s mean.

You had a secret from me too.

Hae-wan closed his mouth for a moment.

You’re talking about that bus stop?

At those words, Hae-eon just smiled faintly.

25.

Looking at the tall man who had turned him around, Hae-wan literally froze.

Regardless of such a Hae-wan, the boy from Hae-wan’s memory fixed his jet-black eyes on Hae-wan like nails and said:

Now it’s proven, isn’t it? What I told you back then.

……Hae-eon.

Yeo Kang-hyun.

Eight years ago, he was Hae-wan’s late-blooming first love and the boy who had loved Hae-eon.

Now he was mistaking Hae-wan, who carried Hae-eon’s scent, for Hae-eon himself.