CHAPTER 66

Droplets of tears, compressed by her dense eyelashes, turned into streams and flowed down. Taeheon once again gently wiped her wet cheek.

“It’s a boy……?”

“I saved a photo, so you can see it later.”

It didn’t really matter to her if it was a boy or a girl. All she hoped for was a healthy child.

A son resembling Taeheon. Her mind became a little more complicated when she imagined a child who would walk around with a face like Taeheon’s.

Yeonseo, who had been silent, suddenly spoke.

“Pick a name.”

“A name?”

“They said it’s better if the father picks the name.”

Taeheon tilted his head lazily as Yeonseo clutched the sheet.

“Are you asking me to name him right now?”

“Don’t you like it?”

“Because I don’t have the right to do that.”

Taeheon’s Adam’s apple moved slowly, up and down, in a rhythmic motion. After turning his head to the side, he covered his eyes with his hand.

He remained motionless, as if trapped in a suspended moment. 

“Sir.”

Yeonseo leaned forward slightly.

“Don’t move, please.”

Yeonseo’s voice trembled as she discovered something transparent flowing under Taeheon’s large palm.

“Sir.”

“I’m trying to stay composed.”

She hadn’t expected Taeheon to shed a tear, which was why his tears puzzled her.

Why is he crying? Why?

Oh, right, he misses Mrs. Kang too.

Though he conducted the funeral calmly, his heart must have been aching with loss. Now that the silence had settled, the floodgates that had held back the pain were released. Yeonseo spoke comfortingly.

“Mrs. Kang must have gone to a better place. You took good care of her.”

Taeheon abruptly stood up, grabbed a tissue to wipe his face, and then returned to Yeonseo.

She had expected that he would leave, but instead, he calmly smoothed her hair.

“I’ll think about the baby’s name.”

“Okay. I think it would be nice if you could pick one.”

“Just one.”

“Yes. So, please think about it as soon as possible.”

His gaze was like the tip of a spear. Taeheon’s gaze had suddenly sharpened, as if it could pierce through her.

“I hope he resembles my face a little.”

“…We used to be intimate, so I guess that could be possible.”

“A little?”

Afraid of falling for a dangerous man again like she did in the past, Yeonseo avoided looking at him, fearing she might weaken and fall in love with him again.

No, she tried to avoid it but Taeheon lightly held her chin and met her gaze.

“Stop averting your eyes.”

“Let me go.”

“If I say let’s start again, how about it? Can I hold onto you?”

“Again?”

Yeonseo’s words sounded choked.

Taeheon stalled, not immediately providing an explanation. When Yeonseo turned her head to break free from his grip, that’s when he finally spoke.

“Let’s meet again. I want to start over from the beginning.”

Yeonseo let out a deep sigh. Her eyes quickly became warm. Her emotions were greatly shaken, more than when she heard the words to start over.

“I’ll be better than before. I can promise.”

The word ‘again’ brought up the lingering feelings that Yeonseo had tightly concealed.

Going back to that time when she felt like she was stuck in the mud.

If she was going to return to the time when she begged for love, seeking fleeting happiness, she wouldn’t have come this far. To avoid endless wounds, Yeonseo had learned to love herself, and now there was a child to protect.

“I don’t need your help anymore. I don’t owe you anything, so what’s left for us to exchange?”

“You’re going to owe Baek Hyeonho money.”

“So what? Are you saying you will give back his money, like a bouncing check?”

Suddenly, the air around them became tense. Harsh words were about to come.

She thought he’d say something that would drag her down, as always, using harsh words to hurt her pride.

“I need you.”

But Taeheon shattered Yeonseo’s expectations.

“You’re the most important thing. Nothing else matters. You’re all I need.”

A lie.

“I like you.”

A ringing noise echoed in her ears. His confession rattling her eardrums like unnecessary noise. It wasn’t welcome. A belated confession was something she never wished for.

“I don’t want it.”

“…How much do you hate it?”

Yeonseo had clearly conveyed her intentions in front of the gynecologist. Taeheon, too, had indicated that he wouldn’t force her if she didn’t like it and had stepped back.

But seeing Taeheon clinging to her like this again made her feel uncomfortable.

“I’m not talking about sponsorships or debts or anything like that.”

“What else is there between us if we don’t have that?”

“I’m in love with you. Too much.”

His confession resonated like a somber wind through a dark, tainted forest.

Why say this now?

Why now, when I’ve already become a coward?

I’ve used up all the courage I had, and being by your side is frightening enough.

“I’m not that person anymore.”

“…Can’t I try to change?”

“What effort are you going to make? Exactly?”

Yeonseo tensed her jaw, applying pressure to her lips until they felt sore. Fearing that tears might once again well up, she directed her gaze away from him.

“Tell me. What do I need to do for you to look at me the way you used to?”

Taeheon whispered desperately.

Saying he likes her. Saying he’ll make an effort.

Taeheon, Taeheon was truly a selfish man. He remained selfish until the end.

“You thought I’d like this now that you’ve come to me? Am I a joke to you?”

“If I thought it was a joke, I wouldn’t be clinging to you like a crazy person.”

He laughed wickedly, like a sinner locked in a dark underground space.

Filled with repentance and regret, yet harboring an undeniable evil within, Taeheon was both dangerous and lonely.

“You’ve seen the state of the officetel, you know how it fell apart while you were gone.”

Yeonseo’s chest tightened. An ache in her chest persisted, hitting her ribs like a galloping horse. She resented the vulnerable Taeheon. It was even frustrating to be concerned about him.

“I’m not happy anymore when I’m with you, Sir. And I don’t want my unborn child to feel that way too.”

“Tell me what I can do.”

“…Just don’t do anything.”

His chest swelled and then sank.

“The emotions you have right now, Sir, it’s just temporary. I know because I’ve experienced it. It might just be a delusion.”

“Delusion?”

“I think it was a Delusion on my part.”

Yeonseo deliberately took the harsh path, because if she didn’t, she’d get caught up in Taeheon and make the same mistake all over again.

She’d be lying if she said she wasn’t worried about Taeheon. Part of her wanted to hold his hand, but she had to stop herself.

“Who wouldn’t be excited if someone like you wanted to sleep with me? It was just a moment of weakness, and you offered me money, so how could I refuse?”

Yeonseo laughed faintly. There was no excitement in her heart like before.

She pushed him away incessantly.

“It’s already too late.”

As if determined to uncover the truth, Taeheon stared at her persistently. Yeonseo met his gaze without avoiding it.

“We’re done.”

It was a while before Taeheon, who had been silent, made a move and he held her close before Yeon-seo could say anything.

“What are you doing?”

“Okay, let’s eat. You need to have your meal.”

He refrained from asking if she had any appetite now. There was something flowing between the silent waves of emotion.

It felt strange. Taeheon was strange. And she felt strange for letting herself be vulnerable with him

Just as love was new, so was breaking up, and so Yeonseo wasn’t quite sure what the end of love was supposed to feel like. She tried to convince herself that she was handling it well.

***

She had intended to eat and then return home, but a dull pain in her stomach made her sigh and sleep a little longer.

It was supposed to be a short rest, but she ended up sleeping until morning. Wandering like a lost person in the empty residence, Yeonseo discovered a well-set dining table.

It was another luxurious meal, just like yesterday. A note was attached to one side of the table.

[Don’t skip your meal. Feel free to contact me anytime. I’ll be back soon.]

Yeonseo tossed the note into the trash bin. And then, she left.

***

Taeheon’s work had gotten out of hand amid the funeral arrangements, and he had to leave for work because of the confusion over how to organize it.

His footsteps, now leaving the company, to head to Yeonseo were far from light. Taeheon interrogated the staff as if tearing them apart and boarded the patiently waiting car. By the time the raindrops, falling one by one, had reached his residence, it had turned into a downpour.

Yeonseo was still in hisresidence. Since the entrance and exit of the residents were controlled, if she had gone outside, there should have been a record of it. Of course, Yeonseo wouldn’t want such surveillance, but Taeheon, who had missed her several times before, hadn’t become adept at this side yet.

At least he needed to know if Yeonseo had left the house or not. But she wasn’t in the house.

“Han Yeonseo.”

Taeheon’s pace quickened as he searched for her. He checked every corner of the house—rooms, living room, terrace, and bathroom. However, there was no trace of Yeonseo’s shadow.

While making a call, he thoroughly searched the house again.

• The customer cannot be reached…

At times like this, the useless house felt burdensome. Taeheon scanned the call log with his cold hand. 

“Han Yeonseo, did she go outside?”

• No, I haven’t seen her come out. Is there a problem?

Hyunyoung’s voice carried a sense of confusion. He had instructed her to only confirm Yeonseo’s comings and goings, and yet, it seemed like she knew nothing.

Did she go home?

Sending someone to inspect Yeonseo’s house would be faster, but if a stranger loitered around her house, she would probably leave. So, he couldn’t monitor her recklessly.

Just like before, he had to prevent her from going far. Veins bulged on the back of his hand gripping the phone.

“I don’t think she’s at the residence, never mind, I’ll find her.”

Taeheon hung up the phone. He loosened his tie, tossed it aside, and headed out of the house, taking the wheel himself and heading for Yeonseo’s house.

The rain was pounding down hard. The narrow, steep stairs made his teeth ache with every step. It pained him to think of Yeonseo living in such a dangerous neighborhood and living more peacefully here than by his side.

Thump, thump, thump.

“Han Yeonseo! Han Yeonseo!”

Pounding on the front door, he leaped over the fence and intruded into the small yard, drenched from head to toe. With a soaked body, he walked around urgently.

The thought that Yeonseo might have left turned his mind into ashes.