Chapter 4 (Part 3)

As they had done previously, the two of them entered the warm, steaming water together, enjoying a brief moment of peace.  

It wasn’t until the scars and dried blood on her head were completely washed away that the worried expression on his face began to ease. He truly was such a kind and caring man.  

She couldn’t help but find him endlessly endearing, so she once again pleaded for him to hold her. After they washed each other’s bodies amidst the faint herbal scent, they returned straight to the bed.  

“Make me forget everything tonight. You can be rough; I don’t mind.”  

She spoke as if she were making a request. While he might take it as a joke, she was entirely serious. This was her desperate attempt to redefine their relationship.  

She wanted to feel his love with her whole body, to the point where she could forget everything else. She wanted to immerse herself in that feeling so deeply that no other thoughts could come to mind.  

“What’s with the confidence?”  

“I just want it. Is that so bad…?”  

“Well, not really… but won’t you end up unable to get out of bed again?”  

He seemed to take her words as a playful provocation, brushing his lips against her cheek as he responded.  

But she was serious. To make that clear, she added a playful threat.  

“If you don’t satisfy me tonight, don’t expect to share the bed with me for a while.”  

At that, he chuckled softly. Then, he raised his hand and began gently caressing her body, his touch sliding over her skin. Even from that small gesture, she deliberately let out exaggerated sighs, wanting to lose herself in the pleasure and forget her lingering doubts.  

But then, as he pressed a deep kiss to her shoulder, he suddenly asked, 

“Cordelia, is something wrong?”  

“…What?”  

“You seem lost in thought. Is something bothering you?”  

“Ah…”  

“Just be honest. It’s okay.”  

For a moment, it felt as though he had uncovered her secret.  

Her mind went blank, and she began speaking without thinking, blurting out the first thing that came to mind. It was such a random topic.  

“Ah… well… um… lately, I’ve been wondering… what it would feel like… to have your child… That’s all.”  

“What? A child?”  

“Yes. Our child. It wouldn’t be strange for us to have one by now, would it?”  

“Our child?”  

“…Yes, a child. Why? Have you never thought about it?”  

His reaction was unexpectedly intense. He looked genuinely surprised, as though the idea had never crossed his mind. Then, to her astonishment, his face turned bright red.  

What’s with that expression? We’ve been doing this for so long, and he’s never thought about having a child with me?  

Even though it was just an excuse she had thrown out, she couldn’t help but feel a little hurt. She immediately spoke in a slightly sulky tone.  

“What’s with that reaction? Do you not want one? But considering how much we’ve been doing this, isn’t it a bit late to say that? Besides, we haven’t been using any precautions lately… and we’ve just been going with the flow, without worrying about timing…”  

“…”  

“I thought you weren’t worried about preventing anything because you wanted a child.”

Her tone gradually became more indifferent.  

It was because he didn’t even respond, his lips slightly parted in silence. Just moments ago, she had felt as though they were reaffirming their love, but now, it was as if all the warmth had evaporated, like water losing its heat. Of course, that didn’t mean she doubted his feelings. But she couldn’t help feeling a little sulky.  

“In a year or two, I thought it would be fun if the four of us, including Skoll, lived together in this house… Don’t you think so? Or do you dislike the idea?”  

She liked this man. So much so that even if he weren’t her husband, she wanted them to truly become a family from now on. That was what she was hoping for and striving toward.  

Even now, the two of them were constantly sharing their bodies like this, so perhaps, amidst it all, a child might come into being. If that happened, they would naturally become a mother and father, and a family would form as a natural consequence.  

She thought that if such a thing happened, her doubts and anxieties would also be buried forever. She could finally say, “That doesn’t matter anymore!” and move forward.  

But from his reaction, it seemed like he had never even considered such a thing. This realization brought an unexpected wave of sadness over her.  

“Why aren’t you answering?”  

“…”  

“If you don’t want to think about it… then just say so. Hmph… I guess I was the only one getting my hopes up.”  

Just as she turned her head sharply in frustration, his voice reached her ears.  

“Then… then, that would be really nice.”  

His tone was absentminded, as if he were murmuring to himself. She quickly turned her head back to look at him.  

“That would… be really nice. I think I’d be so… happy. If a child who looks like you and me… were with us…”  

His golden eyes seemed to shimmer with moisture, as if they were glistening with emotion. Even though it was just a thought, his expression was full of overwhelming joy.  

Because of that, the one who ended up surprised was her. She hadn’t expected him to feel such genuine happiness at the idea. Seeing him like this, her heart also began to fill with hope.  

Ah, if I live with you, I’ll be even happier in the future. All the dark, doubtful, and sharp memories of the past won’t even have a chance to intrude. 

That’s what she felt.  

“They’ll definitely be beautiful. If I could see the two of them playing together in the garden… I think I’d be so happy.”  

“You’re the one who should play with them. Babies have so much energy.”  

“That’s true. And you’ll be busy playing with me. All night.”  

“Stop being so cheeky… Anyway, if we were to have one, which would you prefer? I mean, the gender.”  

“I don’t really care. But if possible, I’d like them to resemble you more. I wouldn’t mind if there were very little trace of me. Just the fact that they’d be our child would make me happy.”  

He smiled, his golden eyes curving gently as he spoke. Then, as if picturing something, he closed his eyes. She suddenly wanted to see the vision he was imagining.  

Hugging his head to her chest, she said softly, 

“I’d like them to look like you. You’re much prettier than I am… If they looked like me, they’d probably be disappointed. They’d say, ‘I wish I looked like Dad, not Mom!’ So, I’d prefer a baby with blond hair and golden eyes. They’d look like angels.”  

“What are you talking about? Do you even know how beautiful you are? Haven’t you looked in a mirror?”  

“I don’t look much because I’m not pretty.”  

“You’re not unpretty at all. Then look through my eyes. I’m always looking at you. If you look through me, you’ll see how beautiful you are.”

The kiss that came with a sweet sound deepened.  

Perhaps because the topic had shifted to family and the future, the tension between them, which had been unknowingly present, completely dissipated.  

“Wait, ah… ah! Ahng… huh… ah! Hng, this is too… deep… ah, ah!”  

As expected, he immediately lost control.  

It seemed that the talk about children had genuinely sparked his desire. Unlike the way he had been joining their bodies before, this time, he embraced her from behind, like animals mating, and pounded his hips against her. Even after climaxing twice, as if it wasn’t enough, he continued to move.  

“This isn’t enough, Cordelia. If we want a child, we need to try harder.”  

“Ah… ah… ugh! Ah!”  

What kind of future awaited us?  

She hoped, as fervently as her wishes, that a child would come to them soon. If that happened, she would do everything in her power to ensure she wouldn’t lose them this time. She would lovingly raise a child who resembled him. Then, one day, the two of them would hold the small hands of their child and stroll together through a garden filled with beautiful flowers.  

What kind of expression would he make when a child resembling him ran toward him, calling him “Dad”?  

And how would she feel when a child resembling him called her “Mom”?  

One thing was certain.  

By then, there would be no more room for anxiety. The past that currently clung to her ankles would surely have faded by then.  

As she felt his core wriggling and invading deep inside her again, she guided his hand to her abdomen and stroked it together.  

“Let’s wish for a child together.”

At her words, he let out a short laugh and whispered near her ear in a tone that sounded like a prayer.  

“Hurry and come to Mommy….”