6. Selfish and Selfless

As soon as morning came, Fiona rushed to the office. Then she took out the notebook she had put in the drawer.

She found the part she had read yesterday and slowly read down the next content.

‘Marienne……’

[Lennox is a kind person, Sister. If he was like that to me, he must be even more gentle to you.]

There wasn’t even a bit of jealousy contained anywhere in those words.

She felt a bit of bitterness in the words listing out what happened with him. From each and every word of Marienne knowing she wasn’t loved, she couldn’t even easily imagine what that child’s emotions must have been like.

[Sister, Lennox’s love for you was so obvious. Why didn’t I notice until now?]

She felt like she could hear Marienne’s voice. Did she smile while saying this?

Fiona pressed her lips tightly shut.

[It’s all my fault. If it weren’t for me, you and Lennox could have been happy loving each other without any problems.]

“No…… Marienne.”

Fiona answered softly. It wasn’t Marienne’s fault. No, it wasn’t anyone’s fault. Everyone suffered, but just……

This happened because everyone thought of each other. You couldn’t say that a heart for another person was wrong.

Words that seemed to blame herself continued at length.

Fiona could feel that Marienne had also suffered and struggled more than she herself had been in pain.

The steady writing suddenly broke off and turned into trembling letters.

[Sister, I’m sorry for being a selfish little sister to the very end.]

At those words, Fiona slowly closed and opened her eyes because it felt like tears would pour out somehow.

[From the moment I realized both of your feelings, I should have moved for you two. I didn’t have that courage, and even though I knew it was meaningless, I wanted to hold onto Lennox even a little longer.]

She could feel Marienne’s emotions in the somewhat messy handwriting.

[I’m sorry. Please forgive me for being like this. Even asking for forgiveness is selfish. But still, I hope you’ll forgive me.]

The word forgiveness didn’t fit. Fiona had never been deeply angry at Marienne, and had never truly hated or resented her.

Still, if her little sister wanted an answer, she wanted to tell her.

“Marienne, I forgive everything. In fact, I’ve never even hated you.”

Fiona whispered softly as she continued reading the writing.

[Sister, it might be too late to say this, but I hope you and Lennox will be happy together.]

Fiona hurriedly tilted her head back slightly. Tears fell with a plop onto her chest, leaving dark stains.

[Because you’re both people I love so much. If the two of you are happy, I think I can be happy too.]

She smiled bitterly. She remembered what Lennox had said before.

「Marienne would have wanted us to be together too.」

「We’re the two people Marienne loved most in the world.」

Had he said that because they were the two people Marienne loved, she would like it even more if the two were together?

It seemed Lennox knew Marienne better than her older sister did.

[You don’t need to feel sorry for me. I lived so joyfully thanks to you. I’ll make one more selfish request. Sister, you must be happier than I was. You always granted any request from your little sister. I believe you’ll definitely grant this one too.]

Fiona’s cheeks became wetly soaked. Her eyes heated up hotly and the stain on her chest grew bigger and bigger.

[What I love most is you, Sister. I love you.]

And there were traces left as if she had tried to write a bit more below, wanting to write something more.

But the writing ended there.

Fiona bit her lips tightly.

Marienne had forgiven Fiona. She told her not to feel sorry, and that she loved her more than Lennox.

Where could there be a more certain answer than that?

“Marienne……”

A trembling voice flowed out.

She had learned the answer from Marienne that she had so desperately wanted.

Happiness and sadness and all kinds of emotions that couldn’t be expressed in words mixed together.

Fiona looked out the window with a bitter expression.