Theo got up from the bed and began to look at the books on the shelf one by one. It was probably a meaningless action for him, but at that moment his behavior made my heart flutter and reminded me of my earlier thought about marking the dates in the books. As he looked through the books, he spoke calmly.

“Don’t try to understand everything. There are many things in this world that can’t be explained in detail with words.”

“…Right.”

‘The more I understand you, the more I feel like I can find a way to escape.’

I thought to myself. I grumbled inwardly but nodded obediently.

“Then let’s talk about something else.”

Theo nodded at my words. He checked my make-up containers one by one. Was he looking for something unusual or was it just a meaningless observation?

“Do you use protection?”

At my question, he finally looked at me. His expression wasn’t one of surprise; it was just his usual blank face.

“I do.”

He answered calmly as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

“Why? If you have a child, the chances of me staying by your side increase.”

Although I felt somewhat reassured, I asked the question deliberately to confront any underlying fear.

“Oh, is that so?”

“…”

My expression hardened slightly. I tried to control my emotions, but it wasn’t working.

“I’m only joking, Yuel. I know you well. Or at least I think I do. If I locked you up and got you pregnant, you’d want to escape for the sake of the child. Am I wrong? You care about protecting the weak and you love children.

I couldn’t tell if he was being sarcastic or sincere. Either way, I agreed with Theo’s words.

“It is my destiny to stay by your side, but I can’t let an innocent child suffer.”

I said quietly.

“Well, to be honest, I’m a little skeptical about you wanting to stay by my side.”

Theo said, slowly rubbing the ends of his eyebrows as if to draw out the words.

“It seems that Noel is quite taken with you, though.”

He smiled slightly as he slowly walked over and sat down on the edge of the bed. As I leaned against the headboard, his body brushed lightly against my legs. I involuntarily felt a strange sensation and instinctively closed my legs. It was undeniably embarrassing to feel a subtle heat every time he made contact.

“I’m right here next to you and my body is addicted to you.”

I didn’t look away from Theo’s gaze as I chewed on the reality of his words. It was true.

My body was incredibly addicted to him. More precisely, I was lost in the pleasure he was giving me.

And it was still going on. Theo must have been well aware of the times Cane had explored my an*al pleasures and desires.

My body would continue to develop. Even if I managed to escape and return to a normal life, I would still need long-term treatment. There was a chance that I would never be able to have s*x with another man again. Seyon’s instruments suggested something sinister.

“Yuel, I know very well that your spirit won’t be broken easily.”

“…”

“That’s why I created Cane. I needed someone who could hold you tight, just like these handcuffs, even when I’m captivated and carried away by you.”

Theo lifted my bound right wrist with a charming smile. His gentlemanly demeanor and clean-cut smile exuded a freshness that was hard to associate with someone who had kidnapped me.

“Well, it seems Cane hasn’t been feeling too well lately either,” he said, scratching his eyebrow with a chuckle.

“Theo, if you’ve missed anything…”

I stared blankly at my fingertips. The handcuff he was holding felt particularly heavy. To get it off, I would have to use every form of persuasion I had learned so far and mix my true feelings into the conversation without him noticing.

“Theo, you’ve always been an exception in my life.”

He looked at me in silence.

I continued without pausing.

“I never date my patients, but you were the exception. And I’ve always believed in abstinence before marriage, but I had my first s*xual experience with you. We’re not even sure if we’re getting married!”

“I’ve always disliked getting drunk because I have a low tolerance for alcohol, but when I’m with you I find myself getting completely drunk and laughing out loud. It feels like I become a different person every time. There have been countless times when I’ve broken my own rules to accommodate you.”

I looked up from my fingertips and met Theo’s eyes. They shone with emotion. This normally cold and composed man was showing an outpouring of emotion just for me. Over the years that we had been together, I couldn’t help but notice how deeply Theo Blaine loved me. It was a realization that hit me more than once.

And it’s the same now.

Seeing Theo, so deeply affected by my few trivial words, makes me marvel at how I, as a person, can cloud his reason. The ordinary Yuel Estin has transformed into the most dangerous siren in Theo’s heart.

Is that why he has lost his mind? Has he gone mad and committed crimes because of me? This beautiful man makes me irrationally self-reproachful.

“So, Theo Blaine. It’s the same now. You’re the exception.”

He struggles with whether to believe me or not, and ponders long before he finally succumbs to the lure of my words. The sweet confession slips into his mouth like a deadly temptation.

“I wasn’t planning on having s*x today.”

He speaks in a low voice as he climbs onto the bed with his solid body.

“Why?”

I asked, giving him space as he covered me with his presence. His scent came closer.

“Because it would be difficult for you.”

I let out a mocking snort.

It’s incredibly hard. How many times do we have s*x in a day?

But it’s funny that Theo Blaine is worried about that. Realizing the meaning behind my snort, Theo let out a soft laugh as well, a somewhat embarrassed smile.

“I’m serious. The three of us have decided to hold back. If we keep this up, your body won’t be able to handle it.”

“…And what about your body?”

“I could go all day.”

I couldn’t help but laugh out loud at that. My laughter was swallowed by Theo’s mouth as his tongue smoothly entered, erotically intertwining with mine.

My languid body was once again tingling with arousal.

Suddenly, I realized that our positions had changed.

Before my confinement, Theo hadn’t opened up to me about everything. He kept his relationship with Noel, the way he communicated between his personalities and his innermost feelings a secret. I thought I knew Theo well, but it was all an illusion.

I had revealed everything to him throughout our relationship. I loved him, I had s*x with him and I gave everything to every moment we spent together; I was completely honest. Was there ever a person to whom I showed my raw, unfiltered self? I loved him madly. His look, his tone, his every action, his laugh, and the atmosphere he created were etched in my heart and refused to leave.

But now, everything has changed between us.

Theo and Nouel now freely share all their thoughts and feelings. They know that no matter what they show, I will always be right there beside them.

The things they tell me are, without a doubt, far too shocking to have handled if I were still in a state of freedom.

At the moment I am facing Theo and Noel, hiding my true feelings. My love and sincerity that I confess to them are not lies, but the real purpose behind these words is different from what they understand, so my declarations have become tainted. I deceive my lovers.

It feels as if this situation, which is spiralling into the worst possible outcome, has already become a burden for Theo.

He wants to possess me completely, even to the point of imprisoning me, but he feels even further away than when he was outside. I am always ready to fly. At any moment I could fly away to a place beyond his reach.

How can this intelligent man not see this?

If one day he were to suddenly come to me and honestly express his desire to share his trauma about his mother and his feelings about Noel and me, I wouldn’t have agreed, but I wouldn’t have left his side either. We could have healed together and spent more time together.

It pains me to think of his fears and weaknesses.

My lover, who has already made a wrong decision, is sad.

***

It has been 20 days since I was arrested.

I no longer mark the date on the wall beside my bed. Instead, I fold the corner of the Chronicles of Arkel and a boring romance novel about a stupid first love to keep track of the days.

Twenty days.

I can’t believe it’s been more than two weeks since I was locked up. I have held up quite well. I still can’t go outside and the chains that bind my wrists are still unbroken, but I’ve managed to keep my dark thoughts to myself and now both Theo and Noel almost take it for granted that I’ve chosen to stay by Theo’s side.

It really was a progressive move. I hadn’t said anything to Cane about staying here or continuing to be together; I was just gasping at what he was offering, so I still had no clear idea what was on his mind. I could only glimpse his emotions through the sporadic, unexpected behaviors he displayed.