So typical of him. Theo always managed to keep his cool and composure, breaking down the situation meticulously and analysing it until the other person was left speechless.

“Let’s say that’s true. So, Mr Theo Blaine, the criminal – why the hell did you kidnap me of all people?”

I tried to catch my breath and regain my composure as I asked the question.

Looking at him, I felt like I could finally, finally ask the question I had been wanting to ask.

It was the ninth night since my abduction. It had taken longer than I had expected. On the first day of my abduction, I naively thought I would see Theo right away. That was a big mistake on my part.

“…You probably can’t understand me, Yuel.”

“Considering how you usually behave, I have serious doubts that the real Theo Blaine has been killed and that someone else is just impersonating you.”

Theo laughed softly as if he had heard a funny joke. I didn’t laugh.

“I hated the thought that you might leave.”

He opened his mouth for a moment and a heavy silence filled the room. His reason for kidnapping me seemed too flimsy. Cane had said something similar and it made no sense. Theo had to give some kind of explanation. Even if he tried to defend this insane act, there was no real forgiveness for it. But at least I hoped he would show some sign that he was thinking clearly.

‘Please, say more.’

I stared intently at his lips, waiting for him to continue.

“Like my mother, Yuel.”

Theo added that unhelpful explanation as if doing me a favor, and I let out a groan without realizing it.

“Oh… Theo…”

It was as if he could see right through my thoughts, and Theo laughed bitterly.

“You’re in pain.”

I defined Theo’s state in one simple phrase.

“I know. But what difference does it make?”

“…Let’s get treatment together. I’ll be by your side.”

“Yuel, if this could be fixed, I wouldn’t have kidnapped you in the first place.”

He was genuinely afraid that I might suddenly die or leave him, just like his mother. It was a form of obsessive behavior. On the surface, he still appeared calm and collected, but the fact that he kidnapped me while mentioning his mother felt like another symptom linked to his dissociative identity disorder. Throughout his treatment, he had never shown signs of anxiety, but that condition was now explosively revealing itself, alongside such a significant event.

“I am not your mother.”

I deliberately made my words firm and clear.

“Of course, Yuel. But you’re still someone I don’t want to lose. I’m desperate right now. I don’t like this situation at all, but it’s still effective. I told you, I’m not playing a game. I’m throwing it all away.

It was the first time I had ever heard him speak at such length.

Theo smiled beautifully, but it was a sad smile.

I was the one who knew more about his ‘mother’ than anyone else. He probably hadn’t talked about her to anyone but me. That was his sensitive spot.

I didn’t know how this sensitivity had been transferred to me. Although our love had always been intense and passionate, I believed that he too was living well and believed in our meeting, just as I had hoped to see him again.

Was my existence really important enough to break someone as strong as Theo Blaine?

I couldn’t help feeling pity. A man’s heart cannot be defined by a single emotion. Even the same ‘pity’ can take on countless forms and characteristics. It’s possible to feel compassion while harboring hatred or to feel love while being consumed by hate. Human emotions are so complex and subjective.

‘I…’

While I felt compassion for him, I was also actively thinking things through.

But he was doing the wrong thing and needed treatment. I couldn’t do it alone. Since I was the object of his obsession, it was clear that no matter how much I tried to persuade him by saying, “This isn’t right, there must be another way,” it wouldn’t have much effect. Instead, it would be better to show him understanding and solidarity. It seemed like a long and tedious battle.

“Theo, I’ll help you.”

“The only way you can help me is by being here.”

Theo had returned to his expressionless state and answered quietly. We usually communicated so well, but right now it felt like I was talking to a wall.

‘I love you. I’m desperate too.’

As if he had read my thoughts, Theo added those words almost defensively. My heart ached. It was clear that his mind was suffering, that he was being swept away by a trauma he couldn’t control, and all I wanted to do was hold him close.

The man who had always been cold and confident suddenly felt so small. I had concluded that it would be best for me to join him, but despite this reasoning, I pulled him into my embrace.

“If you want, I’ll be here, Theo.”

His broad shoulders barely fit in my arms. I patted his back gently. Theo wrapped his arms around me and my body nestled comfortably against his larger frame.

I hadn’t forgiven him. His pain was real, but the facts remained unchanged: he had kidnapped me, imprisoned me, trained my body with Cane, and forced me into s*xual situations in a repressive environment.

I felt a sense of awe at the complexity of human emotion. Theo was despicable and had made serious mistakes. He deserved to face the consequences of his actions. His stupidity frustrated me, and made me angry and sometimes desperate.

At the same time, there was a corner of my heart that ached with tenderness and pity. I still loved Theo. I wondered if love could be a fickle emotion.

Did other loves feel so thick, passionate and maddeningly sticky, clinging to you so relentlessly?

“By the way, Theo,”

I gently pulled away from his embrace. His expression was a mixture of relief and slight disbelief. He seemed confused by my promise to stay by his side.

Without hesitation, I raised my hand and slapped Theo across the face.

The crisp sound echoed and his head snapped to the side.

Theo let out a small “Ah…” as he cradled his cheek. His incredulous expression turned back to me.

“I couldn’t let that go without hitting you at least once, considering how long you’ve been gone.”

“That hurt.”

Theo muttered in disbelief.

Not only had he stayed away, but he had made Cane do all sorts of strange things and caused me emotional turmoil. This slap was a full swing of frustration (though one slap wasn’t nearly enough; I’d have to save the rest for later). Anyway, I had to be gentle with him as I moved forward, looking for an opportunity to escape, and if I didn’t hit him now, I didn’t know when I’d get the chance again.

My conversation with Theo wouldn’t have a dramatic effect, but it would be the catalyst for the plan I’d been working on for the past few days. It would allow me to drop my guard and watch him more closely.

“Don’t leave me again. Let’s talk.”

I held his hand tightly to emphasize my point. Theo looked at me, lost in thought. Even if he suspected me, it didn’t matter. He would have to accept my behavior in the end. After all, Theo’s ultimate goal was to have me completely tamed and at his side.

Suddenly I remembered Theo’s earlier words about not being careful with me.

In contrast, I was meticulously analyzing his psychological state and goals, choosing the most advantageous positions for myself and acting accordingly. In a way, I was the more strategic one. I had no choice but to escape.

I didn’t understand why I always felt this way in front of my captor, but it made me feel like the villain.

***

“So what you’re saying is… the three of you share everything, like watching a video.”

I absently repeated Theo’s explanation of their ‘method of communication’. He nodded slightly. I had just learned that the primary personality could be viewed like a video by the other identities, which meant that Noel and Cane could see everything we discussed.

We sat side by side on the bed and had various conversations. The topics seemed endless.

It made sense that Theo would perceive these two as ‘one body’ or ‘another version of himself’.

“Theo, are you really okay with me having s*x with Noel or Cane?”

He must have seen me with Cane. He would know every moan that had escaped my lips at his hands.

“It’s my body after all. It feels like watching a video of us having s*x from a new perspective.”

“The same goes for the other two.”

To my surprise, he seemed much more relaxed about the subject than I had expected – to the point where I wondered if he was comfortable with it. Perhaps the fact that they all perceived each other as one person was a relatively positive development. The problem was that this perception was limited to s*x.

As for everything else… Just look at how Cane constantly disses both Noel and Theo.

“But, Theo… the reason we fought was because of issues like this. You hated it when I projected you onto Noel.”

I said, a mixture of curiosity and concern in my voice.

“I told you, I’ve accepted it now.”

“Can you come to that acceptance just like that?”

“I can’t explain everything, but…”