Track 06. Message (Part 1)

After that, she burned up with a high fever once again. It was even worse than last time.

‘It must be my heart that’s the problem.’

The situation that had put Raphael in danger kept replaying in her mind.

‘In the end, I can’t live normally.’

How can I keep living, terrifying others?

‘I’m really useless.’

Perhaps it was because of the fever, but her body kept feeling heavier and heavier. Raphael, being a good person, had sent her several messages afterward.

[Are you feeling better, Young Lady? I worry that you might have been very startled.]

[If you permit, I’d like to visit and talk more.]

[Young Lady, please at least reply.]

She hadn’t ignored the messages on purpose. For several days, she couldn’t even look at her crystal ball because of the fever.

It wasn’t until the fourth day, when she could somewhat control the fever, that she managed to sit up. However, when she finally read Raphael’s messages, her heart wasn’t shaken in the slightest.

[Thank you, Young Master Brille. Thank you for comforting me first, even though you must have been startled.]

After writing that much, she slowly moved her fingers and composed another message. There was no hesitation.

[I don’t think we’re meant to be. I’ll pray that you meet a better wife than me.]

After sending the message, she lay back down on the bed. Rather than feeling heavy-hearted, she felt relieved.

‘I should have done this from the start.’

She ended up making Young Master Brille make several futile trips.

She also thought of Ain, who suggested having a meal together since she was in the capital, but she quickly shook her head.

‘Though the time spent with Young Master Brille was comfortable, he didn’t feel like a lifelong partner.’

It felt more like he was a friend. The fact that she could write a rejection message without hesitation proved it.

‘Why is it so easy with him, but not with Kanin?’

She rubbed the crystal ball and recalled the messages she had received in the past. The most recent one Kanin had sent floated in the air.

[I want to hold you in front of the mirror. I want to show you how beautiful your face is as it crumbles under my touch.]  

‘Oh my.’

Reading the message again, her face heated up instantly.

‘What? Holding in front of the mirror?’

It was clear from the context that “hold” didn’t mean a simple hug. It meant making love.

‘But why in front of a mirror!’

Just imagining it was embarrassing. And to think that someone like Kanin would engage in such play?

‘I can’t even imagine!’

The thought of someone with such a clean-cut face sending such a lewd message made her pout.

‘…And yet, he didn’t even reply.’

After she had sent him a message confessing her love, Kanin had remained silent.

‘Was it a rejection?’

She hung her head gloomily. Whether it was because of his message or her unrequited confession, her fever spiked again.

As she tapped the carpet with the tip of her toes, she suddenly raised her head.

‘No. I can’t give up like this.’

To confess through a message and not even receive a reply!

‘Even if I’m rejected, I’ll face him directly and hear it in person. And even if I am truly rejected to my face…’

She planned to ask Kanin to remain her friend. That’s how important Kanin was to her.

‘Even if my heart shatters.’

Hadn’t her heart already been shattered several times because of the messages she had sent him? She felt she could now endure seeing Kanin and another woman together, even if they were clinging to each other with affection. She walked forward with determination.

‘First, take some medicine.’

Until now, she hadn’t taken any medicine, even when abnormal symptoms appeared. Most of the medications that claimed to stabilize magical power were actually just strong sedatives.

But she couldn’t possibly go to confess to Kanin while burning up with a fever.

‘I need to visit him with as clear a mind as possible.’

And she needed to dress properly.

The pajamas she had been sweating in and letting dry repeatedly were far too shabby. With determination, she opened the drawer and took out the medicine. She swallowed it with water.

It was at that moment.

Knock, knock, knock!

“Young Lady!”

Nora burst into the room urgently.

“Young Lady, are you able to get up now?”

“I just took some medicine.”

“Medicine? You don’t usually take it.”

“But the fever seems to be lasting too long.”

She felt as if even her back might start to rot at this rate. She tilted her head side to side, loosening her stiff neck. Placing the glass of water on the table, she asked,

“So, what’s going on?”

“Well, um.”

Nora shouted with a flushed face.

“Prince Albrecht is here!”

“What?!”

It was a good thing she had placed the glass on the table. Otherwise, she might have dropped it and shattered it.

‘Why so suddenly!’

She had just resolved to visit Kanin herself, no matter what, and now he had come to her directly!

‘It’s overwhelming!’

The courage she had barely mustered deflated like a popped balloon at the news of Kanin’s arrival. She hurriedly ran out of her room.

“Where are you going, Young Lady?”

“I don’t know! I don’t know anything!”

“Young Lady!”

Despite her shouting, she didn’t run far and instead entered the room next door. Just in case Kanin came into the room, she hid behind the curtains.

“Your Highness, the Young Lady said she doesn’t wish to see you! You can’t just barge in like this. I’ll get in trouble.”

Nora’s voice came through, as if she was trying to stop Kanin.

‘Good thing I hid in the next room.’

If she hadn’t, she might have run into Kanin in the hallway. She let out a sigh of relief.

‘Why did Kanin come? Is he worried about me?’

Crouching behind the curtains, she bit her nails. Her vision suddenly became hazy.

‘Maybe he came to respond to my message…….’

She had suddenly confessed her love in a message. He must have been flustered. Maybe he had come to ask if it was a joke.

‘I’d be a little hurt if he asked if it was a joke.’

But if their positions were reversed, and Kanin had confessed to her, she might have thought it was a joke too. They had spent so much time together, after all.

‘It’s because we’ve been together for so long that I didn’t realize it sooner—that it was love.’

She hadn’t known that love could seep into her like raindrops soaking her clothes.

‘Either way, I’m not ready for this right now.’

Thinking that, she buried her head between her knees. She didn’t have to wait long before the commotion died down. It seemed Nora had managed to send Kanin away.

‘Since I’m not in my room, he probably left.’

Even Kanin couldn’t stay if there was no one to confront.

‘He must be gone by now.’

After counting to thirty in her head, she slowly emerged from behind the curtains.

‘The hallway is quiet too.’

Peeking her head out, she saw that the hallway was empty. Vivian tiptoed back to her room.

Creak.

The unoiled hinges made an unpleasant noise as she carefully opened the door. There was no sign of anyone inside.

‘He must have left.’

To think she would end up avoiding Kanin like this. Life truly was unpredictable.

‘Then again, last year, I wouldn’t have imagined falling in love with Kanin either.’

Thinking that, she trudged toward her bed.

‘I feel like my fever is getting worse.’

Perhaps it was the relief of the tension leaving her body, but she felt dizzy as she walked.

‘Maybe it’s because of the medicine.’

The effects of the medicine were kicking in at just the right time. After a good rest, her fever would subside.

‘Then I’ll talk to Kanin.’

With that thought, she walked deeper into her room. That’s when she saw him.

Standing in the shadow of a pillar, Kanin was there.

“K-Kanin!”

She was so startled that she jumped in place. She wasn’t joking—her heart felt like it was about to leap out of her chest.

“H-how are you here?”

Kanin slowly turned his head to face her. Perhaps because he was cloaked in darkness, his eyes seemed darker than usual.

“I acted. With your maid.”

“Acted?”

“I thought you’d come out if you thought I’d left.”

“…!!”

She was utterly shocked by Kanin’s words.

‘It’s true that I came out as soon as I thought he’d left!’

What on earth did he want to talk about so badly that he had gone to such lengths to meet me? 

She wasn’t ready to face Kanin, and her anxiety grew.