That Marriage, I’ll Do It in this Life - Chapter 19

While dancing with the Duke, his overwhelming presence had kept her from noticing anything else. But now that it was over, she fully realized that she had become the center of gossip.

It was an unwelcome situation. She felt as though people might approach her at any moment to bombard her with questions, and she desperately wanted to escape.

‘Where is Sage?’

Saena scanned the room sharply.

‘Ah, there he is.’

Finally spotting Sage, she started toward him but stopped in her tracks.

Sage, looking just as uneasy as she felt, was stepping onto the floor—escorting Kirsten.

‘Oh, right. He has a partner, too.’

She had almost forgotten about Sage’s situation in her rush to leave. Since she had partnered with Kayan, Kirsten’s partner had been swapped as well. She would have been rude to interrupt them.

‘Where’s Father?’

Changing her plan, Saena began searching for Count Debov. It didn’t take long to find him. She quickly made her way over.

“My daughter. You were stunning today.”

“Father, did you see?”

“Of course. I didn’t take my eyes off you for both dances.”

Ahem. He really watched both dances…

“By the way…”

“……?”

“Why have you suddenly started calling me ‘Father’ these days? It feels a bit early to call me with that title.”

“…What?”

In her past life, after getting married, Saena had rarely called her father ‘Dad’.

She had felt a sense of estrangement from her family and thought that she shouldn’t act spoiled anymore.

For some reason, her father’s remark pierced her heart.

“There’s no need to rush into adulthood just because you’re debuting.”

Not knowing how to respond, Saena looked up at her father.

“You’re only nineteen. No matter how many years you age, you’ll always be my little girl.”

Her father’s hand, gently placed on the crown of her head so as not to mess up her hair, was warm.

Saena felt a lump in her throat. For a moment, she even forgot why she had come to find him.

That’s right.

It was true.

Simply growing older didn’t mean becoming an adult.

Getting older didn’t suddenly make one capable of solving problems, taking control of life, or carving out one’s own path.

It only made one more desensitized to misfortune and slightly better at enduring pain. Even until the day she died, Saena had never truly felt, ‘Ah, I’ve become an adult now.’

Was it because she never had children?

In her past life, Saena had no children, and that had caused her immense suffering.

She had endured the criticism of her in-laws and the cruelty of her husband.

Even so, she had thought to herself, ‘At least they didn’t force me to take in and raise an illegitimate child. At least they showed me that much respect as his wife.’ But later, she realized that wasn’t the case.

Despite his numerous affairs, her husband had no illegitimate children—not because he had been careful with contraception, but likely because there was something wrong with his reproductive health.

Considering his personality, it was laughable to think he would have been considerate enough to use contraception.

Though she hadn’t wanted to bear his child anyway, her husband still blamed her for their lack of children.

‘If having children is what makes someone an adult, then I suppose I’ll never know what that feels like.’

Experiencing one marriage was enough. More than enough—it made her shudder just to think about it.

Unless she found herself in a situation where she had to marry for the sake of her family, she simply wanted to live a quiet, forgotten life.

If her family offered her even a little support, she planned to move to a rural estate and spend her days researching ancient civilizations.

But for now, she was only nineteen.

As her father said, she was just nineteen, so maybe it was okay to act a little spoiled… right?

“Now, repeat after me: Dad.’”

Even though she had come to that conclusion, the overly expectant sparkle in her father’s eyes made her freeze.

“D… Dad…”

“……”

Why was it so hard to say such a simple word?

“Ahem. D… Dad?”

When she finally managed to utter the word softly, her father’s lips curved into a wide smile.

Seeing his expression gave her a strange feeling.

That smile on his face—it was proof that she hadn’t disappointed him yet. And that thought made Saena’s throat tighten again.

“Well done, my Saena. Let’s delay your marriage as long as we can, alright? You should live with Dad for a long time.”

“…I won’t get married. I’ll just live with Dad forever.”

“Now that would be perfect.”

Her father chuckled warmly, clearly delighted, and gently stroked her forehead.

“Such a silly laugh.”

At that moment, another voice interrupted from the side.

“Ah, Jason, it’s you.”

It was Marquis Jason Ackroyd.

A middle-aged man with red hair, holding a glass of whiskey. His appearance was the spitting image of Kayan. Saena thought Kayan would look exactly like this when he reached that age.

“Your Grace the Marquis. Saena Debov greets you.”

Saena lifted her skirt slightly and curtsied to the marquis. He nodded in acknowledgment and then teased Count Debov.

“A daughter who says, ‘I’ll live with Dad forever,’ is always the first to marry off. It’s a universal truth.”

Despite their difference in rank, the marquis and the count were quite close, likely because their territories were adjacent.

“My daughter isn’t like that. Don’t worry.”

“It’d be quite the sight to see a doting father bawling his eyes out as he sends his daughter off to marry.”

“Hmph. Like how you cried when your daughter debuted three years ago and danced with every eligible bachelor more than ten times but didn’t even give you a single dance?”

“……”

Saena blinked, feeling like she had just overheard something she shouldn’t have.

“Ahem. Oh, right, didn’t you say you had something to discuss about the spice imports? Now that your daughter’s first dance is over, let’s go!”

The Marquis of Ackroyd hastily changed the subject and grabbed Count Debov, dragging him along.

“What? What are you—”

“Viscount Guiland has been waiting over there to hear about it too!”

In an instant, the Marquis of Ackroyd whisked Count Debov away.

“……”

Oh no, she had come to ask her father—no, her ‘Dad’—to take her home.

This was a disaster.

Saena looked helplessly at her father’s retreating figure, then turned her gaze to search for Sage.

The music had already started again, and the dancing was in full swing. Sage, who had looked reluctant earlier, now seemed completely absorbed.

‘Well, Sister Kiki is beautiful, after all.’

If Yuri were here, she would have understood Saena’s feelings without needing a single word.

Even though Saena had been the one to suggest changing partners, seeing Sage’s foolishly happy face made her feel a little annoyed.

‘I can’t just take the family’s carriage and leave on my own. What do I do now?’

“Excuse me, my lady?”

“Yes?”

Just then, someone addressed her.

She turned to see a handsome young man with light gray hair.

“I am Jamie of the Viscount Mesburn family. May I have the honor of this next dance?”

“…Ah, yes.”

At the moment, she had neither family nor a partner by her side. In other words, she was in the perfect position for young men to approach and ask her to dance.

Saena felt it would be too curt to outright refuse, so she accepted. However, as she looked at his face, she felt a bit awkward. She knew who this young man would fall in love with in the future.

He looked quiet and studious, but he would go on to fall head over heels for a baron’s daughter, courting her passionately until they eventually married. His courtship had been so fervent and dramatic that it became quite the scandal.

It was rare for noble marriages to be based on love, so their story had become widely known.

‘I remember hearing that their first child was a daughter. I hope they continued to live happily ever after.’

Knowing the future of someone standing right in front of her was certainly a strange feeling.

If fate truly existed, then their paths would surely cross again.

For now, Jamie was trying to strike up friendly conversation with her, but for some reason, Saena couldn’t muster much interest. He felt like someone who already belonged to another.

After that, Saena danced four more times with different partners.

By then, Sage had completely disappeared from sight.

‘Honestly, if I hadn’t suggested changing partners, this could’ve been a disaster!’

Exhausted from the string of dances, Saena felt like she couldn’t go on any longer. Dancing with strangers while forcing polite expressions was mentally draining.

She decided that once this song ended, she would excuse herself to the lounge to rest.