Belita was the first woman to catch his eye and constantly occupy his thoughts. When he first saw light entering her lifeless eyes, he felt relief for the first time.
Was that anger jealousy then? When he thought there might be another man besides himself, his anger boiled uncontrollably. Why had he been so angry? It wasn’t like he loved her…. It should have been enough for her to just maintain her position as the Grand Duchess like a doll, regardless of who she slept with.
He had dismissed the emotions he felt while living with her as mere pity. After all, she had lost her parents early and been abandoned by her relatives.
But that wasn’t it. The acts that had felt horrible before felt insanely good with her. The fact that he still felt nauseous just from accidentally brushing against other women confirmed that only Belita was acceptable to him. Above all, he felt jealous when she grew close to his other personality. This couldn’t be called pity. So what was it? Was it really love? Could such feelings be called love?
Every time he saw different sides of her that he hadn’t known, he was surprised and wanted to see more. He wondered what she had been like during the times he wasn’t aware. He was filled with the desire for her gaze to be directed at him, not the other personality.
Ah, he seemed to understand this clearly now. That he was infatuated with her. Perhaps he had fallen for her from the moment he first saw light entering her eyes, from the moment he felt relief at that sight. He had just been too foolish to realize it.
“Aaahng…! Rian…!”
‘Rian, yes. It’s me you’re calling. You are my wife, my woman. I was the one who chose you, and all my firsts were with you. So now I want to dream of a future with you. I want to make love with you as a real couple, not just in name. For that, I need to change. Our wrong beginnings.’
Rian’s gaze grew heavy.
“Belita.”
“Ah, ahmmng…. Hnng.”
“Look at me.”
“Hng, haah! Haah.”
At the man’s call as he suddenly thrust vigorously, Belita opened her closed eyes. But the man’s expression had turned serious.
‘What are you trying to do?’
‘Settling our relationship.’
‘What?’
‘I think it’s time to properly settle my relationship with her.’
‘What does that mean?’
‘Buttons fastened wrongly need to be rebuttoned properly.’
‘Stop ruining the mood with unnecessary talk and just continue what you were doing.’
Grand Duke Rian smirked at Crazy Rian’s words invading his mind.
Let’s start over from the beginning. Let’s erase everything that’s happened and start anew with her.
As someone who best understood how a child raised by loveless parents could be damaged, he didn’t want to pass such an environment to his child. For that, he needed to start everything over. His feelings toward her were already prepared. All that remained was for her to love him.
Rian strengthened his resolve to start anew with her. However, his clumsy determination—being the first time for a man experiencing such emotions—failed to consider that she might get hurt.
“Look at me properly.”
“Y-Your Grace……”
“Call me by my name. I believe I mentioned this before.”
“……”
She suddenly remembered His Grace when she first met him. A man wrapped in coldness so severe it felt like a chilling wind blowing through his emotionless voice. His expression and tone right now were exactly the same as back then.
“Why suddenly……”
“I want to apologize to you first.”
“What…?”
“Please don’t be too surprised by how I might change.”
“?”
She was dumbfounded by this sudden, random statement in the middle of their passionate moment.
“And there’s something I need to correct.”
“What?”
“What I said at the beginning.”
What he said at the beginning…?
“I now need a different wife.”
“!?”
Her heart sank heavily at his unexpected words.
What did I just hear? Is he saying he doesn’t need me anymore? Why so suddenly…?
Tears quickly welled up in Belita’s surprised eyes. She couldn’t understand what he meant at all. Why his expression suddenly turned so serious, why he was suddenly saying such things.
Ri, Rian…! Does Rian feel the same way?
She didn’t know why the other personality suddenly came to mind. Surely that man was also listening to His Grace’s words… which meant he must feel the same way….
She bit her lip hard at this absurd situation that arose so suddenly. She held her breath trying to hold back the tears that were welling up. At that moment, the man watching her face twisted his expression fiercely. Then he burst out yelling.
“You crazy bastard, you cut off the beginning and end of what you’re saying and made her cry!”
“Shut up and go back inside.”
“Hah…. You stubborn jerk, this is why you have no way with words. I let you come out because you were being so insistent, but what kind of nonsense is this in the middle of everything? You have no flexibility, none at all. After waiting for this moment for so long.”
“I said go back inside. I’ll be done with you soon too.”
“Hmph, that’s what I want too. We’ll see who lasts longer.”
Tears that had quickly filled her eyes now fell in drops. Even in this situation, her heart, which had been falling off a cliff, felt saved by Rian’s fierce voice.
I really am a fool.
Rian roughly messed up his hair as he watched her tears flowing enough to wet her face. This wasn’t what he had intended, but caught up in his thoughts and in his haste, he had cut off too much context as the other personality had said.
“P-please get off me……”
“……Haah……”
Looking at the woman biting her lip hard and swallowing her sobs, he couldn’t continue this act any longer. Reluctantly withdrawing from her body, his head pounded with the crazy one’s curses echoing in his mind. Honestly, he regretted it too. He should have finished what they were doing before talking. His impatient personality was no different from the other one’s.
‘You incompetent fool.’
‘So you do know. Stupid bastard.’
‘……’
He carefully helped her sit up, supporting her waist as she struggled to rise. What could be so sad that she was crying like this? He remembered how she had sneered about divorce back then.
‘Is she feeling now what I felt then? Well, I was at fault then too. Sigh, I’ve made so many mistakes.’
“Wife.”
“Hic! J-just a moment, let me get my clothes. Sob!”
He felt sorry watching her struggling to button up with trembling hands. Seeing her like this, the words he had originally intended to say wouldn’t come out easily. The timing seemed too late now. He felt like hitting himself on the head.
“Hic! Hoo…. Hic, g-go ahead and s-speak. B-but hic! M-make sure to p-pay alimony. Sob.”
Barely managing to speak through a voice wet with swallowed sobs, she demanded alimony. She seemed to have completely misunderstood.
‘What exactly did I say?’
‘You said you need a different wife, you crazy bastard.’
‘Haah…. I should have gagged myself.’
‘Exactly, if I’d known you’d spout such nonsense, I would have ripped your mouth and just kept thrusting.’
‘Damn it.’
“A-as you said before, hic! A-after the winter rainy season passes, sob…. Hoo hic, haah…. I’ll leave.”
“Wife, please listen to me,”
“L-let go of me!”
Belita’s face twisted with resentment and anger as she violently shook off his hand. How could he say such things in this situation? After shaking the heart she had firmly locked, he pushed her to the edge of a cliff in an instant. Indeed, she was crazy for trusting the crazy man.
“Wife.”
“Get out.”
“……Belita.”
“Both of you get out!”
She looked precarious as she shouted and breathed heavily. This couldn’t be good for the baby either. Though he knew he needed to fix the situation quickly to calm her down, he worried about what if she wouldn’t believe him.
But he had to try.
“What I meant was.”
Before things got worse.
“The reason I married you.”
“I don’t want to hear it.”
“A woman who expects nothing from me. A woman who won’t want unnecessary emotional investment. A woman who will simply fulfill her role as the mistress of the household!”
“!”
Words she had heard during their first drinking session. When she had asked his reason for marrying her, he had calmly stabbed her with those words, which now came out of the man’s mouth again.
What hurtful words was he trying to use this time? Back then, she had just felt miserable, but now why did her heart ache and throb so much? Was this karma returning for her arrogance toward Lovia?
She felt resentful. If this was his intention, he shouldn’t have seduced her with such sweet words. He shouldn’t have confessed as if it were real. She hadn’t believed it… but it seemed she had wanted to believe without realizing it. Or perhaps she already had. Had she given her heart to this man to such an extent? Since when?
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Nous_Defions
Igh! Seriously, GD Rian has a way with the worst timings, EVER!!! That’s why I appreciate Crazy Rian on this aspect, despite his rashness, his vulgar mind and mouth, he managed to win Belota over, with his honesty and bluntness… This GD Rian, well… Just SPLENDID with words and timing… Grrrrrrr… I understand his intentions, it’s just that, with all his careful words, it comes out all WRONG!!!
YOU CLEAR THIS UP RIGHT AWAY, IDIOT, BEFORE EVERYTHONG BLOWS OUT OF PROPORTIONS! At this point, Belita is already soooo upset she’s besode herself, and is already throwing both of you out!!! Grrrr… These two idiots are giving me a headache!!!