2.8

Scritch, scritch.  

The razor carefully shaved off the lathered beard. The thickly grown beard shaved off in an instant wherever the hand touched. The curved areas were shaved by gently pulling the skin. After thoroughly wiping his face with a warm towel, his gaunt cheeks were revealed.  

“You’re thin.”  

A woman’s voice, sounding sympathetic, echoed in his ears. The stranger on the bed smelled strongly of roses.  

It’s not the season for roses; is it perfume? Quite a luxurious taste.  

A soft hand caressed his cheek. A faint smile appeared at the pleasant touch. He nuzzled his nose into the fragrant flesh, inhaling the scent. His hand naturally wrapped around her waist. Though he preferred a fuller figure, he thought it was still nice as he explored her side.  

“Julian, are you awake?”  

The woman in his arms whispered softly, stroking the back of his head. It took him a long time to understand those words. As his hazy consciousness gradually returned, his head ached as if it would split. He frowned and opened his eyes. His eyes stung as if pierced by thousands of needles.  

It felt like waking from a very long sleep. Everything felt unreal. His body was as weak as an ox drained of blood by horseflies.  

Clang, clang.  

Vanessa pulled the bell cord beside the bed to summon the maid.  

“Julian is awake. Go inform Earl Arenshen quickly.”  

The echo of the bell reverberated in his head for a long time. 

Earl Arenshen? 

The unpleasant name sharpened his awareness. He slowly looked around.  

The bedroom was elegant and luxurious, with a shield bearing the Arenshen family crest hanging on one wall. The shield, depicting three white lilies on a black background, was a crest he had seen countless times since childhood. He had returned home, having gone to the brink of purgatory.  

“Julian…”  

Vanessa clasped his emaciated hand, which was all skin and bones.  

Though her face was paler and her body more gaunt than the last time he saw her, Vanessa, wearing a green dress instead of mourning clothes, looked unrealistically beautiful. Seeing a beauty upon opening his eyes was nice, but her tearful face was not to his liking.  

“I’m alive, so you should smile, not cry.”  

This time, he could wipe Vanessa’s tears away. Vanessa stifled her sobs and awkwardly smiled. Her smiling face, which he saw for the first time, was so lovely he couldn’t resist. He tried to pull Vanessa’s arm to kiss her, but someone cleared their throat.  

“You’re quite energetic as soon as you wake up.”  

Though it was clearly a reproach directed at Julian, it was Vanessa who blushed with embarrassment. Hastily wiping her tears, Vanessa slightly curtsied to Hendrick.  

“Greetings, Earl Arenshen.”  

Hendrick, instead of responding, gestured gracefully for Vanessa to leave the bedroom. Vanessa bowed her head respectfully to Hendrick and left the room as if fleeing.  

Left alone with him, Julian desperately wanted to pretend to faint.  

“Don’t worry. I won’t stay long.”  

Hendrick spoke indifferently, reading Julian’s mind.  

Hendrick swiftly approached Julian, his red cloak billowing. The black sable fur lining his cloak and the large gold necklace adorned with garnets added to Hendrick’s noble aura.  

“Forgive me for not being able to greet you properly due to my injuries.”  

“Do you think I lack the mercy for that?”  

Even so, he couldn’t just lie down in front of the Earl. Sitting up, a sharp pain shot through the area where he was stabbed. He grimaced and looked up at Hendrick with a somewhat insolent gaze. His expressionless face, impossible to read, remained the same.  

“To be honest, I didn’t think you’d wake up.”  

Was he saying he was disappointed Julian survived, or relieved he didn’t die? It was a puzzling remark. Julian didn’t foolishly ask what it meant. He guessed both were his true feelings.  

“I owe my life to your grace, Earl.”  

“I only gave you a room in the castle. You should thank that lady instead. She worked hard to care for you all this time.”  

Was that why Vanessa was so worn out? 

He felt sorry for Vanessa, who must have spent her days worried he might die. He was eager to meet her again as soon as possible.  

“I heard she became a widow after losing her husband to the bandit knights in Violent Valley. Unable to return to her family due to her tarnished honor.”  

Whether she hadn’t told the truth or not, Hendrick’s words were a mix of truth and lies. Hendrick seemed unaware that Vanessa was the Viscountess Cloet.  

“Your feelings for each other are so deep. Why not settle down and start a family together? If you do, I’ll grant you land within the territory as a wedding gift. It’s a reward for your faithful service to me. And if you assist me in the upcoming war and achieve merit, I’m willing to appoint you as a knight of Arenshen.”  

Julian doubted his ears at the series of generous offers.  

To Hendrick, Julian was merely a performer. A skilled bear tamer, no matter how much he cherished his bear, would not bring the beast into his home. Dangerous animals were kept safely outside in cages. Hendrick’s decision to bring Julian into his domain was unexpected.  

It was an incredibly sweet offer, but the promise he made to Vanessa weighed on his mind. Ordinarily, he would have had to reveal Vanessa’s identity and seek Hendrick’s permission for a trial by combat. But after hearing Hendrick’s offer, he lost the desire to face hardship and adversity.  

Becoming a knight of the Arenshen family was Julian’s long-held wish. Having the chance to inherit land, all would be perfect if Vanessa bore him a son to continue the lineage. Cowardly and selfish thoughts invaded Julian’s weak conscience.  

They could have another child. After all, her child was merely a byproduct of a political marriage. Her first child was just someone who would be forgotten over time.  

If he lost the trial by combat, he would die a dog’s death, but what could he gain if he won?  

The Cloet family’s estate would pass to Robin, the sole heir, and Vanessa would shed the stigma of being a murderer. That was all. To Julian, who could gain the honor of land and knighthood, it wasn’t worth risking his life.  

“It is an honor, but please give me some time to think.”  

“Ha, is this something to ponder?”  

“I need to hear the opinion of the woman who will be my wife.”  

“How unusual.”  

Hendrick’s expression changed subtly. A man who didn’t know how to consider others and only insisted on his own way had changed so much because of one woman.  

Indeed, Vanessa was different from the lower-class women Julian had been involved with. Though she claimed to be the wife of a wealthy wool merchant, her hands were clean, without calluses or scars. Her unwavering gaze, unafraid despite their vast difference in status, and her precise pronunciation and etiquette when they first met were impressive.  

She seemed to have a reason for not revealing her identity, but Hendrick decided not to pry and let himself be deceived for a while. He hoped Julian hadn’t killed a living husband and brought a noblewoman from a family.  

“Very well, rest here until you recover and think it over as much as you need.”  

Hendrick pulled out a velvet purse from his waist.  

“It’s a reward for completing your mission. Use it wisely.”  

The purse placed in Julian’s hand was quite heavy. Even knowing the Earl wasn’t one to show favor without reason, he couldn’t help but grin.  

After Hendrick left, he was counting the gold and silver coins when Vanessa returned with a bowl of hot oatmeal. Julian tucked the purse under his pillow and spread his arms to welcome Vanessa. After a moment’s hesitation, Vanessa embraced Julian.

Vanessa fed Julian spoonfuls of porridge since he was unable to move comfortably. Having not eaten anything for over two weeks, his stomach couldn’t handle the food well. He took his time chewing and swallowing until he finished the entire bowl.  

After Vanessa wiped his mouth with a handkerchief, they gazed into each other’s faces for a long time.  

Up close, it wasn’t just his body that was thin. The traces of that day still remained. Julian noticed a faint yellow bruise on Vanessa’s cheek and ground his teeth.  

“I should have killed those bastards with my own hands.”  

“Your friends avenged us well enough. I wasn’t seriously hurt, so don’t worry.”  

Vanessa’s expression hardened as she recalled the horrific situation. It was something she never wanted to experience again. In hindsight, watching Julian die in front of her was more painful than nearly being r*ped.  

“Why didn’t you let me die? If you had abandoned me, you wouldn’t have gotten hurt like this.”  

It was a truly foolish question. At the same time, it was a difficult one to answer. Sacrificing oneself for others was an action even he couldn’t understand. How should he explain this feeling? He didn’t know. He just couldn’t let Vanessa die. Right now, he desperately wanted to hold Vanessa again.  

“I can’t let you go until you say you’re satisfied. It’s too unfair otherwise.”  

He said, grabbing Vanessa’s buttock with his right hand. 

Was he really risking his life for such a trivial reason? 

Knowing it was a joke, Vanessa was still baffled.  

He snatched the porridge bowl and tossed it aside, then sat Vanessa on his lap.  

“We should finish what we started earlier.”  

“If you overdo it before you’re healed, your wound will worsen.”