‘Your father has gone missing on the battlefield. But how could he return alive from that blizzard? Now I’m all you have.’
Yes. Mother often told Catherine, who had become alone.
That without her, Catherine would be alone.
Even while glimpsing the future, Catherine couldn’t let go of her attachment. She hated the future of being alone more than dying somewhere. It was that kind of attachment, thinking “surely not.”
Now she remembers. Why she was helplessly deceived by that poisonous herb. Catherine had only hoped for even the smallest affection.
And Catherine was poisoned.
* * *
Her waist tingled. It was still late at night. Red marks covered various parts of her body, and red buds bloomed everywhere as if to dye her entire body red.
Moonlight softly illuminated the bedroom. A point of moonlight touched the bed. As she fumbled across the bed, there was still a lukewarm warmth remaining.
When Catherine raised her head, Lorendis approached in a robe. If his thoroughly disheveled appearance earlier was decadent, his current appearance was static.
“Not sleeping more.”
Catherine flinched and pulled her body back. As she drew the blanket up to cover herself, Lorendis wrapped her hair around his thick fingers.
“One year, was it? A contract is a contract.”
“I’ll stay quiet.”
“Being quiet isn’t enough. For that one year, I want you to faithfully play the role of wife. For that period, act as a perfect wife.”
For that year, she will spend time filling his empty place. That’s the role of a contract wife. Catherine doesn’t ask for much either. Silence and comfort are enough.
As the blanket slipped down, her round shoulder line stood out. Her fair body turned red in the candlelight.
“I’ll do as you wish.”
“In return, I’ll keep it a secret from His Majesty or the vassals. If we mention things like contract or fake marriage, it would be insulting the imperial family. We need to live somewhat like it’s real.”
Lorendis lowered his gaze. Below him, Catherine sat quietly. The expression that had been flushed red with heat was now hidden behind detachment.
Lorendis clicked his tongue. It’s just a contract. A relationship that will end. Then he should take it lightly. Lorendis had already dulled his emotions after roaming battlefields for a long time.
But it’s strange. Seeing those sorrowful eyes, he wants to completely ruin that expression.
“I’m crazy.”
Lorendis shook off his distracting thoughts. Even in the midst of this, his expression remained clean.
Catherine was a small woman. Both in appearance and in spirit. Her body was too weak to stay in Helen. The soul residing in that body was also weak.
“Come here.”
Lorendis led Catherine once more. By then, Catherine glanced at him with an expression that hinted at her fatigue.
“Again?”
When his rough touch reached her, her body flinched and looked for a place to hide. Even though she clearly knew there was nowhere to hide in this bedroom.
The wedding night had already passed. They had hung a red canopy over the white sheets and mixed their bodies beneath it. That heat was still vivid.
“Is Helen an open-minded city?”
“Why?”
“Because you’re too open-minded right now. Are all cities that have experienced long wars like this……”
Like someone living just for today.
Like someone who couldn’t care less about the future. That’s exactly how he was.
As Catherine muttered in a small voice, his black pupils sank quietly.
Catherine had lived in the countryside and was completely ignorant about such nightlife culture. Perhaps, if not for the reality of her terminal illness, she would have hesitated a bit more. The time remaining was limited. So she surrendered her body to the immediate stimulation all the more.
“Helen is fundamentally a conservative city. Due to the northern characteristics, it has a closed structure, which makes it even more so. Helen values the virtue between husband and wife. The contract we’ve exchanged now is, in principle, not allowed in Helen.”
Lorendis answered smoothly. His voice, without fluctuation, recited gently as if reading from an etiquette book. His hands were delving into intimate places.
“Mmm……”
When she moaned softly, Lorendis looked down at her intently. His hand caressed her intimate place. After a brief contemplation, Lorendis continued.
“If there’s one aspect of Helen’s culture that’s open-minded……”
“What is it?”
“While the nobles of the Empire maintain their elegant dignity by using separate rooms, in Helen, couples share the same bedroom. So in Helen, even couples with bad relationships are expected to share a room. So to answer your question, it’s open-minded in that way but conservative in others.”
Lorendis’s hand slowly stroked her head. Catherine regained her breath and opened her eyes languidly. His hand fell away by then.
The lighting warmly illuminated the bedroom. Helen typically uses wooden furniture, and this bedroom was no exception. So even inside the bedroom, the subtle scent of wood wafted.
“That’s how Helen is.”
Heated breaths filled deep into her lungs. She cried out with stifled breaths, and whimpered several times, overwhelmed by the intense stimulation. Within that, her body flushed red with boiling heat, and his traces marked her everywhere.
‘It won’t hurt.’
Lorendis, who had said those words, was consumed by the excited heat.
She quietly looked down at his sleeping face. It’s peaceful.
When we part this time, we’ll meet again when the contract period ends. If that contract period ends safely, we’ll part ways then…… But aside from that.
“You said it wouldn’t hurt. But it does.”
A tingling pain spread through her waist. A long lingering sensation remained in her body.
* * *
Catherine woke up from sleep, groaning.
“Are you awake?”
It was early dawn. Lorendis was fully dressed in armor. It was a familiar one. Even when he knocked on the door of the Milden viscountcy, Lorendis was wearing that armor.
Today was the day of the departure ceremony. The ceremony was scheduled for early dawn, and the time had already come. Just as Catherine was about to get up, Lorendis stopped her.
“Sleep more.”
“What about you……?”
“It’s almost time for the departure ceremony.”
When Catherine tried to get up from the bed, Lorendis made her lie down again.
“The maids will come. Just stay in bed.”
The sheets, stained with traces of the night before, seemed to emit a familiar bodily scent. That richness filled the bedroom. He had finished preparing to leave and would soon depart.
Catherine stared at Lorendis and frowned. She could feel the muscles deep inside her body stiffening. As she wrapped herself with the blanket to cover up, Lorendis spoke while fastening guards on his thick wrists.
“In front of the maids, say you’re tired. If you say you couldn’t sleep, they’ll understand. It’s also fine to show that you’re in pain or tired.”
“Why?”
“Because the maids will understand if you can’t come to the departure ceremony.”
Catherine asked about something she had almost forgotten. From early morning, his departure ceremony had been prepared. Lorendis had already completed his preparations for the ceremony.
“You’re leaving for the battlefield today, aren’t you?”
“That doesn’t mean you need to come to the departure ceremony.”
Lorendis covered Catherine with the blanket again and sat by the bedside. Her head became hazy from this untimely kindness.
She hadn’t been able to sleep all night due to complicated feelings. That might be why her head felt even hazier.
“And you were groaning in your sleep this dawn…… You seemed to be in pain, so I was going to wake you but decided against it. Later you seemed fine again.”
Catherine paused. Even if she avoids his gaze, it follows and sticks to her blatantly. Catherine touched her forehead and answered awkwardly.
“I must have tossed and turned because of the unfamiliar bed.”
“If it’s just that, then that’s fortunate. Throughout the departure ceremony, dust will fly as the knights move. Naturally, it won’t be a pleasant sight for a noble lady.”
Lorendis spoke while attaching Helen’s emblem to his silver armor. The emblem had laurel leaves embroidered on it. That was the symbol of Helen. Those laurel leaves could be frequently seen on the mansion’s furniture, lighting, and even on the outer walls of the castle.
“Half a year will do. Just maintain confidentiality during that period. The fact that this marriage is a contract and fake is a secret even from His Majesty.”
Catherine entered into marriage to adorn the end of her terminal life, and Lorendis entered into marriage to participate in the war against the barbarians.
Their interests aligned, and Catherine is someone who will soon leave. Then, it’s right to consider you who will remain alone later. All these stories can be kept to herself.
Lorendis finished putting on his armor. With the armor on, that raw, rough energy surged. Lorendis quietly left the room.
“Take care on your journey.”
“I’ll be back. Don’t come out.”
Lorendis left, fully armored. After seeing him leave, Catherine gathered her shawl.
“Even though he said that, it doesn’t seem right to just let him go like this……”
Catherine took out a shawl from the bed, wore it, and went outside. Lorendis had told her not to come out to see him off, but…… if she sends him off now, she doesn’t know when she’ll see him again.
Spire.
Instead of participating in the departure ceremony, Catherine went to the spire of the ducal castle. From below the spire, the entire view of the ducal castle was clearly visible. And Catherine looked down at the knights gathered for the departure ceremony.
“Is that it?”
Helen’s knights raised dust as they moved away.
‘This war won’t end in half a year.’
Lorendis said he would end it and return in half a year, but that’s realistically impossible. He will probably return after about a year.
“He’s leaving.”
Catherine leaned against the spire, watching Lorendis’s departing back.
“My lady, the wind is cold.”
“Please return to your room now.”
The maid who was attending to her expressed her concern.
“His Grace said not to wake you because you were sleeping…… If I had known you would come out, I would have helped you dress. You came out still in your nightgown.”
“Lorendis said there was no need to see him off. But I still wanted to watch secretly from behind.”
The maids wiped away tears and quietly withdrew.
Do they pity me? Well. Having sent her groom to the battlefield the day after the wedding, the maids’ reactions are understandable.
“His Grace will return safely.”
The horse Lorendis rode on gets farther and farther away. Hazy dust flies, and Catherine quietly followed his retreating figure.
- dorothea
feeling burnt out. updates for some novels will be slow please understand(ㅅ•́ ₃•̀)